Some of y'all better stop being angsty // sarcastic to me in DMs and comments, because it's rude and I don't know how to read sarcasm online bc I'm old smh...
I changed the first chapter, so the beginning paragraph bit takes place ten years in the future instead of five, because I just realized how quickly time moves when I do months instead of chapters.
May 12, 1972
Freddie
Lennon was officially five weeks old, and it was honestly the most stressful five weeks of my entire life. She didn't sleep very well unless she was in our, bed, and it worried me because we needed to kick that habit before she was six and still sleeping with us- I wanted her in her own bed, but John liked having her with us.
Roger and Brian kind of hated being woken up in the middle of the night, but they were really understanding and they often offered to watch her if we needed to take naps during the day. I was thankful for them, because sometimes we needed more than two hours of sleep in a night.
"Freddie, can you bring me another pill from the cabinet?" John asked, quietly, while he gave Lennon her bottle.
"Didn't you just take one a little bit ago?" I frowned, slightly, while running the razor over my face. John said something from the bed, and I sighed. "What'd you say? I didn't hear you, sorry." I poked my head out of the room and he looked like he was about to start crying.
"It hurts, Freddie, please just get me a pill so it stops." He whimpered, then he sat Lennon up and he burped her.
I went back into the bathroom and I grabbed the small bottle of pills- he had to get a refill, because he said he needed them, and it was kind of concerning because he wasn't supposed to need more, it was supposed to get better after three weeks. I took a pill out for him, and I filled our bathroom glass with water- we kept a cup for us in our washroom, so we could take pills without having to go into the kitchen.
"Here." I gave him the cup, then I took the baby before giving him the pill. "Hey there, Lennie." I cooed down to my daughter, then John passed me the empty cup. I took the baby to the bathroom with me, and I finished shaving my face with one hand while she reached up to pull at my chest hair. "Don't pull Papa's hair, you silly girl." I chuckled, quietly, then I put the razor on the counter before putting the moisturizer on my face. "John, are you going to get out of bed today?" I asked and he shook his head before going under the blankets even more. "I'll let you know if we're doing something today." I murmured, then I patted his foot before taking Lennon out of the room with me.
Brian and Roger were both on the sofa, half asleep, and I chuckled while I joined them, sitting on the lounge chair and resting my feet on the ottoman. Lennon tried to turn her head to see what was going on, so I turned her so her back was against my stomach and so she was sitting on my lap.
"Are you two tired?" I hummed and they both nodded, draping their arms over their eyes. "Do you see what you did, Lennie? You made everyone tired." I looked down at her and she was starting to fall asleep against my arm. I moved to cradle her so she was more comfortable. "Even you're tired." I giggled, then I put her in her swing, sitting on the ground next to her and pushing her until she fell asleep.
"She was up all night." Brian whined and I nodded with a small smile- she was a bad sleeper, we all knew that. "Why are you so cute, but so bad?" He laughed, looking over at Lennon in her swing.
"She just doesn't sleep at nighttime. She can sleep like this all day, but she won't sleep in our room, for some reason. She won't even sleep in our room during the day, and I don't know why- she sleeps in the nursery, but John won't let us put her in there overnight." I sighed, softly, but both men were pretty much asleep.
I got up and I went into the kitchen, going to make myself something for breakfast before Lennon woke up- it was hard to cook when I had to hold her. I quickly whipped up some eggs and bacon with some toast. I made enough for John and myself, then I took a plate to our room, where he was still wrapped up in our blankets.
"I made you breakfast, love." I whispered, sitting next to him on the bed.
"I'm not hungry right now, Freddie. You can just leave it there, and I'll eat it later." He murmured from under the duvet, like he used to back when he was sick.
"Do you promise me that you're going to eat?" I hated the distrust between us when it came to eating and stuff, but I was worried that he'd fall back into it, especially after gaining almost thirty pounds with the pregnancy- he was upset because he was getting closer to one hundred and seventy pounds, and I knew that he wanted to be lighter than me.
"Yeah, Freddie, I'll eat, okay? Just leave it there, and I'll get to it when I wake up again." He was sleeping a lot more often and it kind of upset me because it felt like he was missing out on Lennon's new life.
"Are you going to come and feed Lennon soon? She's going to be hungry in a bit, you know how she is." I chuckled, quietly, and John nodded, closing his eyes and not smiling with me. "Okay, have a good rest of your nap, I'll just be out there with Lennie and the lads." That sounded like a band name, and I just giggled a bit.
I patted John's side, then I got off of the bed and I went back out to the kitchen. Roger was sitting at the kitchen table, picking food off of my plate, and I frowned while I sat across from him.
"Is my breakfast good?" I raised an eyebrow and he nodded before pushing the plate back in my direction. "I'm kind of worried about John." I murmured, digging in to my eggs while Roger continued to pick at the bacon on my plate.
"How come?" He asks, his mouth kind of full.
"He hasn't been eating his breakfast or anything, and I'm worried that he's going to get sick again." I sighed, pushing my plate towards him so he could finish the plate. "And I hate not trusting him, because I love him so much and there's no reason for me to be worried, but something is telling me that he isn't serious about getting better for Lennon and I."
"Maybe that's what it is, saying that he's only getting better for you and Lennon. He needs to know that he's getting better for himself, it makes him guilty to make him feel like he isn't good enough for his daughter." Roger explained, and I wondered how he was so smart.
May 23, 1972
Roger
"What's the matter with you, Lemon? Why're you crying so much?" I cooed, taking her out of the swing- Freddie went out to meet with someone, and John was still in bed, so I offered to take care of her. "What? Are you hungry?" I curled my finger in front of her mouth and she started sucking like she was starving. "Oh, I think you may be hungry." I giggled, softly, then I took her into the kitchen and I started making her a bottle before John came into the kitchen, wrapped up in his house coat before opening the fridge.
"What're you doing with my daughter?" He asked, quietly, and I looked down at her while rocking her a bit.
"I was just going to feed her a bottle, because she won't stop crying." I explained, shaking the bottle until the formula was mixed in. "I know that you guys usually do it, but I didn't want to bother you." I explained and he shook his head.
"Don't feed her. I-I fed her right before Freddie left, she'll get sick if she eats too much." He spoke softly, then he took the baby from me, giving her the dummy that he had in his robe pocket. "Don't worry about her crying, she just does that when she's bored." He gave me a small smile, then he passed her back to me, like he was afraid to hold her.
"Are you sure?" I asked and he nodded, giving me a look that said he knew what he was talking about because he was the one that carried her. "Alright. Are you going back to bed, or do you want to come and work on some music with me? Lennie likes the drums." I giggled, quietly, when she looked up at me, but he just shook his head. "Have a good rest, then." I smiled before going back into the living room with Lennon.
Brian was sitting on the sofa, strumming away on his guitar, and I sat opposite to him, sitting Lennon up a bit so she could watch her uncle playing around. She really did enjoy the music, but sometimes John didn't appreciate us practicing in the flat while he was trying to nap. He got out to practice sometimes, but then he'd take another pill and he'd have to go to bed.
"He said that she didn't need another bottle because she just ate, she's just bored." I explained, rubbing her little back- she was still so small, and I felt like she should've been bigger for six weeks. "Why is she still so small? Is this normal?" I asked, quietly, and Brian shrugged while he looked up at her.
"I have a date tonight, so do you mind being alone with her if Freddie isn't home yet?" Brian asked and I nodded with a small smile- he had met a pretty young thing named Chrissie, she was an ex model, and I thought she was just adorable.
Just as he finished the sentence, Freddie walked into the flat with a huge smile on his face and a small wad of cash in his hand.
"Where-where'd you get that money, Fred?" Brian asked with a small frown.
"I sold the van." He smiled, sitting next to me and putting the money on the table before taking his daughter from me.
"You-you sold our van? The only way we can get anywhere without spending a load of cash?" I raised an eyebrow and he just nodded, tickling Lennon's belly to make her smile around the dummy. "Freddie, how are we supposed to get to gigs and things?" I wanted to punch him, Brian set down his guitar so he didn't throw it.
"I got a phone call from John Reid... he's represented famous musicians, like Elton John, and he wants to introduce us to Roy Baker. He-he manages EMI and he wants us to come and record an album. The money is to get time for recording." We had done some recording before, mixing our wages to get some booth time when we were still Smile, before John came, but this was next level.
"When're we meeting with him?!" Brian exclaimed, sounding like a child opening the Christmas present he had always wanted.
"Uh, at the beginning of June. I gave him the-the landline number and he said he'd call as soon as he had an available time." Freddie smiled in response, feeling really giddy with what he had done for us. "We're going to be an actual band!" He exclaimed, then he stood up and he bounced for a couple seconds, startling Lennon with the jostling.
"Don't kill the baby!" I held my arms out and he gave her back to me, then he went back to jumping and squealing. "Isn't Papa so crazy?" I giggled, sitting her up a bit so she could watch him- she knew who her parents were at that point, so she liked getting to watch them.
Brian got up and he danced around with Freddie, both of them laughing and squealing. John came out of the room after a couple seconds and he frowned when he saw the two older men laughing and jumping around.
"John, baby, you're going to be so happy when you hear what I did!" Freddie exclaimed, going over to see John. "Love, love, we get to record Queen! A man wants to meet with us, to introduce us to a producer! We get to do our own album!" He sounded like he was about to cry, but John just looked at him with a blank expression.
"That's nice, dear." He murmured, patting Freddie's arm before joining me on the sofa, smiling at Lennie. "Is she better now? The dummy helped?" He asked and I nodded, frowning a bit.
"Did you not just hear what Freddie said, John? We could be famous." I whispered, wanting to smack some sense into him. He just nodded, then he rubbed his eyes a bit. "Come with me, we need to have a little chat." I pulled his arm, then I gave the baby to Freddie before I dragged him out to the balcony, lighting a cigarette and sighing while I blew the smoke out- nobody else smoked, so John moved away a bit.
"What do you want? I need to get back in there, it's almost time to feed Lennon again." He sighed, rubbing his hands over his eyes after a moment.
"What's your problem lately? It's weird hearing you say Lennon's name, because you've barely looked at her since she's gotten home, same with Freddie. You've been locked in your room for six weeks, and Freddie said you've been taking too many of those pain pills, which is really concerning, because you're going to miss out on Lennon's life." I told him, leaning against the railing and blowing out another puff of smoke. "Cut the crap, Deacon, and start to get excited for the band. Freddie's completely overjoyed that he made this work, he's really excited for this band and you offended him with your reaction. Now get back in there and be a fucking parent, because this is absolutely unacceptable."