Sam:Hell yeah..it's huge..
Me: I know right..u know even Kim Kardashian would be so jealous.
Sam:haha sure..
Me:And he has boobs..
Sam:R u sure he's a guy..or a girl..or hermaphrodite coz he was ur ex..
Me:nah he was a guy...
Sam:Thank the fucking gods u left him..
Me: I know but...I sort of feel guilty...Am I that bad a person?
Sam:no u r not..
It did provide some consolation to think at least someone thought I wasn't crazy or fucked up. I was momentarily relieved but the emptiness in me remained.
I couldn't get over the weird sense of longing I felt..not for Joe definitely but it was a weird feeling..like something was missing from my life.
I studied as if nothing was wrong even though everything was wrong and I got decent marks in my exams but I felt like I needed something more..someone more..
Anna always supported me with "he was fucking ugly" whenever I felt sad and I sure was lucky to have a talented best friend like her.She was everything I could ever dream of and she could be anyone I wanted..from a massage woman to my personal therapist.
I loved her and I slowly started liking my life as a strong,independent single woman.. gaping at hot men on the roadside and going awww at cute pictures of boys.
Couples were boring.Being single was fun and exciting. I made many new friends and they kept me company and made me laugh. I felt privileged and soon I was happy again.
It was like a big phase in my life was finally over and I had passed it with flying colours (almost).
Joe seemed kinda depressed and he kept saying he'd wait for me but I didn't want him to and encouraged him to find the girl he deserved.
He often told me to meet him (Don't ask me why idk). I kept ignoring him and looking at him post pictures with different girls,I laughed at myself for ever feeling sorry for him.
______________________________
I know I promised not to talk to Ryan but it was really difficult.He commented on my posts and I couldn't decide whether to reply or not. I resolved on the latter.
But one day I finally replied.
Ryan: I thought u weren't talking to me..
Me:nope.. I thought u must have been busy with exams and stuff..
Fuck I'm such a big liar.
Ryan:ok cool
Me:so how are you?
Ryan:god knows..the world is strange..
Me:well u can tell me what's bothering u though I know I'm not ur best friend anymore.
Ryan:yeah u r not..
God that hurt so bad. I never expected him to be so harsh with his words.But it was ok. I never expected a yes.
I thought of leaving him that day because I didn't want to hurt myself anymore but then I got a text.
"Hey did you know Ryan broke up with Selena?"
"Wait...what?Were they together?"
"Didn't you know?It's been a month."
But Ryan told me he had rejected both of us because it was too difficult for him to choose.He even said he didn't talk to Selena anymore.
Why did he lie to me? I know we weren't best friends anymore but he could have at least told me that he was in a relationship with her.
At least before..he used to call me his best friend.. someone who he wouldn't leave even in the darkest of times and someone he would always have time for.Was I that bad a person?
Who was the victim and who was the culprit.Was it me?Or was it him?Did I deserve this? I said I'd never talk about love again.Was it a trust issue?
Or did he never really consider me his friend and I was his puppet?
"Hey liar..u deserve a prize for being the world's best liar", I texted him.
A/N
Do liars make you cringe too? Why are people so afraid of truth these days? Have you ever lost a best friend who said he/she would stay with you forever? Vote and comment.
Xoxo😙😙