I thought about Shannon the whole ride home and non stop for the following two days. TWO DAYS! I couldn't get him off my mind. I went back and forth; should I call him or should I not. I was completely torn.
Standing in my kitchen, after another long day at work, I was eating yogurt and who was still lingering in my thoughts?
SHANNON!
I can't remember the last time I dwelled on someone as much. I had to give him props, it was the most unique pick up I had ever heard of. And he was sexy. Not to mention, his voice was like velvet. He had that crazy combination you dream about a guy having. You know, adorably funny while being sexy and masculine at the same time.
I mean, those kind of guys are rare, right?
The more I thought about him, I was finding too many reasons to just go for it.
You only live once, right?
Before I changed my mind again, I reached into my purse that was sitting on the counter, grabbed my phone and dialed his number. If I didn't do it before my mind caught up to my actions, I'd still be in the same indecisive spot. It rang two times and went to voicemail.
Only two rings, huh. I opted to not leave a message. Maybe that was a sign. Or I just subconsciously chickened out.
As soon as I dropped my phone back in my purse, it started ringing. Picking it up I looked at the number on the screen. Shannon. Hmmm. Now THIS felt like a sign.
"Hello?" I said in a very 'I don't give a fuck' tone.
"Hi, someone called me from this number? They didn't leave a message but uhhhh..." He said and I rolled my eyes.
This was way to typical 'player' behavior.
Obviously he was monitoring his phone calls. That had to be it. Two rings and he sent it to voicemail instead of just picking it up? That says creep to me.
Like who does that unless you're shady?!
"Nope, wrong number, sorry!" I quickly responded and disconnected and the call.
Men. I knew he was too good to be true. He was just an player with money. Glad I figured that out BEFORE the first date. I can't stand wasting my time on men like that.
My phone was still in my hand when it started ringing again. I looked at the screen but didn't really need to. I had a pretty good idea who would be on the other end of the line. Sure enough, it was Shannon's number. I let it ring and ring until it finally rolled to voicemail.
Unbelievable.
A split second later, it dawned on me. Letting it go to voicemail was fucking stupid. Now he'd know for sure it was me.
Ahhh, damn it!! I'm an IDIOT!!!!! What was I thinking?!
Once he knew, it was on. He called back three more times and I let all three calls go to voicemail. On the the forth call, I finally picked up. I really didn't think he would stop until I did. I was stupid and he was going to ride this, he seemed like THAT type of guy.
"Hello.." I said, trying my best to sound very nonchalant.
"Hello, Cora." Shannon said in that deep husky voice.
Shit.
Did he sound this way earlier? Or at Whole Foods?! I didn't remember his voice sounding THAT freakin' sexy. I would have remembered.
I swallowed hard. I knew I needed to play this off and seem completely unaffected despite being affected. I was NOT interested in him. Sexy a fuck voice or not, he was a player.
"Hello, Shannon." I responded, clearing my throat.
"Why'dya hang up?" I could hear his smirk through the phone, the smug bastard.
I will not get sucked into his sexy voice. I. Will. Not.
"Only creeps monitor their phone calls from numbers they don't know." I said, acting more snarky than I probably intended but it was the truth.
"That's not what happened, Cora. I left my phone in the living room and I was in the kitchen when it rang. I just didn't catch it in time. That's why I called back."
After only two rings? I don't think so. Seriously, who has their phone set to send calls to voicemail after only two rings? Bullshit. He must think I'm stupid and that pissed me off.
"Really." I replied, hoping my tone conveyed I knew it was bullshit.
"Scouts honor." He promised.
That made me laugh and I didn't hold it back either. Scouts honor, my ass. Shannon was definitely no Boy Scout.
"Don't believe me?" He asked, pretending to be all shocked I'd doubt him.
"Nope." I said, "I don't believe one word."
"Well, it's true. Want to know what else is true? " I was silent, "I think you called because you might be interested my dinner offer."
Trying to change the subject, are we? I think he's used to dealing with morons and I'm no moron.
"No. I don't think that's a good idea but thanks. I wanted to pay you for my groceries. I didn't feel right letting you pay like that."
He was quick to reply, naturally.
"Now who's lying?" Shannon laughed.
"I don't lie."
Well, normally, I don't lie. I made him an exception. This whole situation, had bullshit written all over it. Been there, done that. No. Thank. You. He wanted honesty, I was going to give it to him.
"Look, Shannon, I think you're probably a nice guy but I'm just not into players. That's the last thing I need in my life right now. Maybe another time when I wasn't slammed with work, wasn't renovating my house or dealing with past relationship baggage.....maybe I'd be up for the challenge. Right now, I just don't have the energy so I'm going to have to take a pass on the bullshit."
He was silent, taking a minute to let everything I said sink in.
"All this because I missed a call.... Wow."
Now it was my turn to answer quickly, "You wanted honesty."
There was dead silence on the other end of the line. I almost thought he disconnected but then he answered me.
"You certainly gave it to me." Shannon paused, "I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm not trying to play you but I don't think you're open to me proving that to you. Let's just consider the groceries a gift. Good luck with everything, Cora."
Sure, counter my bitchiness with niceness. Damn it. Didn't take much to make me feel like crap and we hadn't even hung up yet.
Was I wrong and jumped the gun?
I was beginning to doubt my quick judgement. That's not the usual response from a natural player. It felt too late now to change how this conversation was going though. I didn't know what else to say and it seemed the damage was done.
I just wanted off the phone.
"Okay, thank you. Good bye."
I quickly disconnected the call without giving him a chance to say anything else. I felt awful. I dropped my face into my hands with a groan.
Instead of letting thoughts of Shannon go, it was the opposite. For the rest of the night, I replayed our entire conversation in my head. I was a bitch. I felt horrible about the whole thing and I should. I mean, the guy didn't pick up and sent the call to voicemail. Even if he wasn't one hundred percent truthful in the reason, was that really a big deal?
NO, in the grand scheme of things probably not...
It was memories of my past sneaking up one. I was used to being played. This was part of the relationship baggage I was talking about. I suppose I took that frustration and hurt out on him.
'Damn it.'
The next morning, after a very restless night of sleep, I knew that I needed to apologize to Shannon. If anything, it would make me feel better even if I didn't know if he truly accepted it. I wasn't very nice to him and he didn't deserve it. I jumped the gun and made myself look like an asshole.
Besides, he was actually right. I did lie. My intention was to talk about that dinner. Things just went in the wrong direction. This time, however, I thought it wiser to text instead of call. Or, maybe I was too chicken to hear what he'd say in return.
I was still laying in bed, it was six in the morning and the sun was peaking through the shades. I was wide awake as I reached for my phone. Going into my calls, I created a text message to Shannon that I literally wrote and deleted probably ten times. Some were long, some short. I didn't know which was best. I finally came to the conclusion that short and sweet with as little detail as possible was probably best.
'Shannon - I wanted to apologize for yesterday.
You didn't deserve how I treated you. -Cora'
Before I could change it again, I hit send and put the phone back on my nightstand.
Laying my head back on the pillow, a sigh of relief fell from my lips. It was done.
Feeling a little better now that I apologized, I tossed the blankets back and got out of bed. I needed to get my day started and let this whole situation go. Knowing a run would do me good, I quickly changed, threw my hair in a bun and grabbed my ear buds.
As I walked down the stairs, my phone dinged in my hand. Glancing at the screen, Shannon texted me back. His was simple too.
'I only accept apologies in person'
I wasn't expecting that response at all.
Why on earth would he want to see me? I was such a jerk, apology or not. Did I even want to see him?
By the time I reached the last stair, I knew the answer to that one. It was a resounding YES. I did want to see him. In that moment, I made a promise to myself that I relax and not let my past dictate my future.
My fingers were shaking as I typed out, 'Tonight, 8pm?' then hit send.
Shannon immediately replied back.
'4621 Firenze Place - Pasta for 2
- See you then.'
Biting my smiling lip, 'this should be interesting' I thought to myself as a threw my sweatshirt on and walked out the door, locking it behind me.
Now I REALLY needed a run.