"You would have left?" Penny asked from the other side of the coffee table. "If you'd been in my place, you would've just gone to medical school? Even if it was someone you care about? Even if it was someone you--"
"Penny, I don't know," David interrupted, leaning forward in his chair. He rubbed his eyes wearily and then scrubbed his palms down the length of his face. "It's so late. I haven't slept at all. I want to talk to you about this. I really do. But can we just... Can we both sleep for a couple hours first? You can just lie down right there on the couch and--"
"No!" Penny stood up abruptly.
"For God's sake! What is it with you and the couch?" He looked up at her, his expression hovering somewhere between exhaustion, irritation, and complete bafflement. "Why can't you sleep there? Because I somehow made you drop out of medical school?"
"No." She shook her head. Her mind was still reeling, and her tongue stumbled clumsily over her words. "That wasn't...it's not because of that. I made a rule. That's all. Because of something else. It wasn't you. It was someone else."
"Who?"
"No one."
"What do you mean, no one?"
"My ex. OK? It was my ex-boyfriend. He was letting me crash on his futon, and..." She waved away the rest of her sentence with a little flick of her fingers.
"And he thought you were doing more than just crashing on his futon?"
"Something like that."
"Let me guess," David said, casting her a knowing look. "Were you wearing a bikini at the time?"
She scowled at him. "I should be able to wear whatever I want without getting manhandled-"
"He manhandled you? Did he actually try to, like-"
"It's fine. I left. I learned my lesson. I made a rule. End of story."
David raised his eyebrows, studying her face. His voice sounded thoughtful when he finally spoke again. "So, basically, this whole thing has nothing to do with me. This is all about your ex."
Penny shrugged and looked down, studying the crochet pattern of the blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She wished she hadn't said anything. It felt wrong somehow - talking to David about Greg. Maybe because it gave Greg far more significance than he deserved. "Whatever," she mumbled. "It wasn't a big deal."
"You want me to go over there and rough him up?"
Penny smiled in spite of herself at the thought. "He would snap you in half."
David didn't smile back. She could see him clenching his hands into fists. "I can handle myself," he said.
"He played offensive line. He could bench press you."
"Football player?" David narrowed his eyes. " Is that what you go for? All those muscle-bound meathead types?"
She looked away again. If you only knew, she thought. She wasn't even attracted to Greg anymore. She had been once, but that was ancient history. No, the type Penny went for had undergone an abrupt shift two years ago, the day she showed up for her first day of her summer job and laid eyes on her new boss....
But of course, she couldn't tell David that.
He was still talking anyway. She could see one of his long tangents coming on. Here it came now. David waxing eloquent, with much waving of the hands. "You know it all turns to fat, right? All that muscle mass. What does he weigh, this guy? Two fifty? Two seventy-five? It's only muscle until they gets off the steroids. By the time they get to be my age, it's 250 pounds of solid lard-"
Penny smiled. "Don't be jealous, David."
"Trust me, I'm not."
"Did somebody get cut from his high school football team?"
"Middle school," he muttered.
"What did you say?" She cupped her hand to her ear, even though she'd heard him clearly enough.
"I said middle school," he repeated more loudly. "I got cut from my middle school football team."
"That must have been hard on you."
He saw her smiling, and he broke into a temporary grin, but it faded away again after a moment. "Penny," he said. "If you won't sleep on the couch, then you have to let me drive you home. It's not safe for you to be out riding the subway alone at this hour...."
She shook her head, her eyes flicking away uncertainly.
"What? You have a rule against that too now?"
"You can't, OK?" she said impatiently. "You can't take me home. There is no home. I was crashing on his futon."
David had opened his mouth to argue, but he shut it again without speaking. She waited as he processed the information. "You mean, tonight? This whole thing with your boyfriend happened tonight?"
"Ex-boyfriend," she corrected.
"So you literally have nowhere else to go right now."
She shrugged one shoulder, still not meeting his eyes. "I'm a little low on cash. I'm going back to Minnesota. Just- I just need a few days to get my stuff together...."
"You're sleeping on the couch."
She started to shake her head again, but he held up a hand to silence her. "Listen, I get it," he said. "Loud and clear. You have a rule. But sometimes rules need to have exceptions."
"Since when did you believe in exceptions?"
David let his breath out in a huff. She knew him too well. Rules were rules for a reason. How many times had he said those exact words? No excuses. No exceptions. He'd never believed in exceptions. He never had before, in any case. Not until tonight. He'd been right on the verge, earlier - right on the edge of breaking all of them.
He'd almost done it. He'd almost tried to kiss her. He would have gone through with it, too, if she hadn't turned her face away at the last second.
He felt almost dizzy with relief now that he hadn't done it. What a mistake that would've been. Here she was, running from some scumbag who couldn't keep his hands to himself, and David had almost done the exact same thing. Honestly, what was he even thinking? How could he have even considered kissing her? He could just see it now - the way that little scenario would have played out, like some slow-motion disaster scene in a movie. The moment the Titanic runs into the iceberg. The moment the car goes careening off the edge of the cliff....
What had possessed him? The thought hadn't even occurred to him that she might not exactly welcome getting grabbed out of the blue and slobbered all over. He'd been so fixated on his own feelings. He'd just assumed if he kissed her, she would want to kiss him back.
God, he was delusional.
That wasn't how she saw him. Obviously. David, he could bench press you. That's what she had said just now. David, you're just some skinny old dude, was what she meant. How many times had she teased him about it? Right from the very beginning. He could hear her now, the way she always used to laugh at him.
"Whiskey makes you gag."
"How the hell do you know that?"
"I know a lightweight when I see one...."
She'd spelled it out for him a million times in big, bright, flashing neon lights. He wasn't what she went for. He wasn't Penelope Stewart's type.
"I'll be fine," she was saying to him now. She had stooped down to pick up the sweatshirt that he'd dropped on the floor. "I'll just keep this a little longer and-"
"Sleep on the couch," he interrupted. "You can stay as long as you need. Stay a few days. Stay a week. It's fine."
"David-"
"I'm not your ex, Penny. I'm not going to make a pass at you."
Penny felt her face heat up in embarrassment at his words. I'm not going to make a pass at you. If he only knew how many times she'd imagined him doing just that. How many times had she played out the scenario in her head, like some slow-motion love scene in a movie. The moment the hero grabs the girl. Sweeps her off her feet. Kisses her senseless.
God, she was delusional.
She watched as David raised his hand over the center of his chest now, like a schoolboy saying the pledge of allegiance. "I promise. I will not touch you. I will not manhandle you . I will not-"
"I didn't think you would," she mumbled defensively.
"I will not hit on you. I will not do anything that could possibly be construed as a sexual advance in any way, shape, or form-"
"OK, OK." She cut him off again and forced herself to smile. "I didn't think you would."
"Scout's honor. My word as a gentleman."
"Your word as a gentleman, David?"
"I am a gentleman!"
Her fake smile deepened into a real one at the vehemence of his response. "I know you're a gentleman," she said. "But who says that?"
He grinned back at her crookedly. "Is that not a thing people say?"
"I don't think so." She shook her head. "Only in romance novels."
He dropped his hand and turned away, padding over to the closet where he kept the extra sheets. Penny followed him with her eyes. She was sleeping on the couch, apparently. End of discussion.
She didn't expect him to speak again, but she heard him muttering as he moved across the room. She wasn't quite sure if he'd meant for her to hear or not.
"This is not a romance novel," he said under his breath. "Believe me, Penny. I'm aware."
Dear Readers: I'm almost afraid to ask for comments on this one, but... if you're enjoying the story, please don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT. Thank you! ❤️