𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳 · 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥 ²

𝟐.𝟐𝟑

────「THIS IS HOME」────

     As soon as Emerson left the door, the three of us got out of the control center and moved back to go to the dorm; Clarke and Monty probably sensed my impatience to get there as soon as possible, so we started running: I needed to find O and Sam. Once we made it to the mess hall, the scene in front of us was nauseous: we were surrounded by dozens of dead people with their skins burnt, the smell heavy on the air but what really hit me was the pain in Jasper's eyes; he was kneeled in the middle of the hall with Maya's limp body in his arms and tears running down his face.

- "What did you do!"

- "We had no choice."

- "I was gonna kill Cage!" -Jasper spat back at Clarke, holding onto Maya's body- "If you'd given me one more minute, it'd have been over!"

- "Jasper." –I tried to reason with him as the tears filled my own eyes- "They never would've stopped."

Jasper looked at me and shook his head before looking back down at Maya. I knew he was angry and he had every right to be. I'd take whatever he threw at me but I had to find my family. I felt a knot on my throat, gulping and trying to get it to go down but failing. I had to go. Clarke seemed not to find words either, Monty prompting us to go, saying he'd keep an eye on Jasper so I nodded, turning around and running toward the dorm following Clarke.

- "Octavia must have come here as soon as, well..."

- "Yeah," -I didn't need her to continue, I understood- "I hope so."

As we got there, the door was opened and everyone had been freed from their handcuffs. The guards were lying dead on the ground, some I knew Sam had killed and some we had. I let my eyes wander around the room until I found just the two people my heart had been aching to see again: Octavia was standing in between Sam's legs as she was sat on the stretcher with her pants tore down and blood all over her legs. I wanted to move to them but I was paralyzed for a moment until Clarke's voice brought me back, screaming and running up to them, thanking Sam for keeping her mom safe. Octavia moved back to let them some space so I walked up to her.

- "O."

- "Bell!"

She shot running towards me as soon as she saw me, pulling me down to her and hugging me tightly, so I did the same, not letting go of her until she did. She was okay. My little sister was okay. It had been so close. I'd have never forgiven myself. She finally pulled back and looked up at me with a small smile on her black-paint-covered face.

- "Go." –she gave me a knowing look before her eyes landed on Sam- "She needs you."

I nodded and took a deep breath. I had been wanting to see her since the night I left, I wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her how my blood had frozen in my veins when I saw her running from the guards, how my voice broke as I watched helplessly at the monitor knowing what her fate would be, how my heart was threatening to jump from my chest until it found shelter on her hands. Still, as I stood there, I was afraid. Afraid the feeling that had been building little by little inside me for her was one-sided. But I had to know. She had to know.

- "Stop thanking me," -Sam chuckled after Clarke thanked her again- "or next time I may actually stop to consider my actions before doing something stupid."

- "Please, do."

I wasn't sure from where, but I finally found my strength back and walked up to her as Clarke left us alone, the room almost empty now but it could have been full of people and, for me, there would have only been Sam. It was her. She'd always be.

She turned her face, which was covered in black paint like Octavia's, with a petrified look on it as she eyed me until I stood right in front of her; then, she did something I was not expecting: she moved her hands to the top of my vest, efficiently pulling me closer to her until I stood in between her legs as she closed her eyes and crashed her lips against mine. As I felt them on mine, my eyes immediately shut and my hands moved quickly to cup her face as I slowly kissed her back. Her lips were soft and she tasted like blood, or maybe it was my blood, but I couldn't have cared any less. It was slow and short for she had to pull away to breathe as I smiled happily resting my forehead on hers.

- "Sam..." –I started, feeling it was now or never.

- "No, wait." –she cut me off, making me move back to worriedly look into her eyes. Does she regret this?- "I have to get this off my chest; I should have done so as soon as I realized how I felt, but I was scared I'd lose you, what we have..." –she looked into my eyes, almost asking for permission to keep going, so I nodded and she took a deep breath before continuing- "Alright, so, maybe by now this means nothing to you because you know me better than anyone else; you know I'd die for our people... hell! I'd die for you over and over again, Bellamy! If the inevitable happened and it came to a point where I couldn't save someone, I know it would hurt but I also know I'd be able to live past that because that's what we do, we survive. But, if I lost you..." –her voice broke as a tear fell down her face- "...I was so mad when Lexa told us about her deal with Cage, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was about to lose you, I... I just couldn't." –she blinked hard a couple times as tears started pooling down her cheeks- "It scared me like shit thinking there was an actual possibility of never seeing you again. I don't know when it happened or how it started or if it was too slow or too fast... I know nothing honestly, but the truth is I'm so utterly in love with you Bellamy Blake that, for the first time in my life, I was actually afraid of death."

Her eyes never left mine. They were glossy with tears but they showed me so many emotions along with her words that my heart ached. I saw the love and sincerity of her words even if I already knew she'd never lie to me. I caught a glimpse of doubt in her eyes that I couldn't quite place. But what truly caught my attention was the fear and the pain her eyes showcased for fear was something I was not used to seeing on Sam.

- "And, well, you know..." –she said letting go of me as the silence followed her words- "...maybe you don't feel the same and like, I completely understand but please, if you're gonna break my heart, can it wait until tomorrow? I don't think I can handle another broken thing today." –she almost whispered, becoming shy all of a sudden- "Or maybe it'd be better to just get it over with..."

She had lowered her head, looking down at her fingers as she played nervously with a strip of her broken pants. The doubt in her eyes is not a doubt about her feelings for me but rather of mine for her. She was terrified I wouldn't return her feelings which sounded so incomprehensible to me that I had to smile. I placed one of my hands over hers, making her stop her distraction, and pulled her chin up with the other, making her look me in the eyes as hers showed the worry, shyness, and anxiety she was probably feeling before I spoke. Alright, this is it.

- "Sam, listen to me very carefully. I would never do anything to harm you, you know that, right?" –she nodded- "I think I've liked you since the first time you confronted me, even if I wore that guard jacket and was obviously older than you, you weren't scared of me, not even a hitch of hesitation in your voice each time you told me shit as it was. From that day onwards, you've had my undivided attention, even if at times it didn't seem like it. I think I've loved you a little bit more every day for who you are, for what you do and how you do it. I think I realized I was in love with you the day we fought the Grounder army." –I smiled stroking her cheek- "I've been falling for you slowly every day since I first saw you, Sam. I love every bit of you from your stubbornness to your selflessness, from your tears to your smiles and from your recklessness to your commitment to doing what's right. And it's for all these, that I'd have never thought you'd fall in love with someone like me." –I confessed as she lightly shook her head, a small smile on her lips- "All I want is to love you and keep you safe, Sam; even if you make the latter tremendously difficult." –I chuckled as I felt the heat on her cheek as she laughed softly- "But it's so worth it, Sam, because you've made it so easy for me to love you. And I have to say this, I don't love you only for what you already know or because obviously O adores you and you've taken care of her when I couldn't, I love you for who you are and how I feel when I'm with you: you don't judge me for the things I've fucked up and the Gods know there are a lot of those to choose from, you've made it easy for me to open up to you to the point in which being vulnerable with you felt right, you've encouraged me to believe I'm good, you make me want to be better and, in all honesty, you've done so much for me I could write books about it and about all the things I love about you and I wouldn't have enough time in the world to finish them."

I wanted to say so many things but I couldn't find the words, I wasn't sure I was even making sense so I just stood there, looking into her eyes in silence. As I had been talking a couple of tears had run down her face, most definitely down mine too, and she had moved one of her hands to intertwine her fingers with mine. It felt like everything was right again. Like I was exactly where I needed to be. With her.

- "Sam, what I'm trying to say is I'm in love with you." –I whispered moving closer to her- "I can't picture my life without you in it."

- "I love you." –she smiled looking at my eyes before glancing at my lips.

- "I love you, Sam, all of you." -I ran my thumb over her cheek, catching the last solitary tear that fell from her beautiful eyes- "Can I kiss you?"

- "You don't have to ask."

She let go of my hand and moved both of hers to the back of my neck as I leaned into her lips. It was different this time; the kiss was hungrier than the first as if we were both trying to show with our actions what our words couldn't begin to explain. I moved one of my hands to the back of her neck to pull her closer, if that was even possible, stroking her cheek with the other. The taste of our salty tears was mixed with the taste of blood, officially making our firsts kisses bittersweet.

I let go of her for a second to catch my breath before attaching my lips to hers again, kissing her deep and slow just how I had fallen for her. The situation was far from how I'd have liked it to be but, somehow, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I knew now that Sam was as in love with me as I was with her and that made everything seem better. As we broke the kiss, I rested my head on her shoulder as she hugged me and stroke my hair, letting out a sigh of contentment against her skin.

- "Well, well, well..." -I straightened myself as I heard Octavia, never fully losing contact with Sam, seeing her standing next to us with a self-satisfied smirk on her face and her arms crossed over her chest- "It took you both some time, didn't it?"

Octavia smiled and I chuckled as Sam hid her most definitely red face in my chest.

- "It did." –I chuckled before kissing Sam's head- "Yeah."

- "And, as much as I'd like to prolong this scene because honestly, you both are so cute right now, I think we should go."

- "She's right." –Sam looked at me and tried to get down from the stretcher- "We're the only ones left."

- "You're not walking." –I placed my hand on her shoulders to stop her- "Look at your leg, you'll fall as soon as you put your feet on the ground." –she rolled her eyes at me- "Cute." –I smiled as she shook her head- "Hold on to me."

- "You can't carry me all the way back to the Ark, Bellamy. It's a six-hour walk, and that's me being optimistic."

- "I can and I will." -I stood in between her legs with my back to her- "Don't fight me, come on."

- "Fine."

Sam moved closer to me until her chest rested on my back and wrapped her arms around my neck before placing her head over my right shoulder as I moved my hands to the back of her thighs, pulling her up, helping her wrap her legs around my waist, making sure not to touch her wound.

- "I feel like a backpack." –Sam proclaimed- "Or a baby, honestly." –she sighed- "I'm sorry you always end up carrying me around."

- "As if he minded having you glued to him."

- "I only mind because this only happens when you get hurt." –I moved my head to the side to look at Sam.

- "You shouldn't have said that."

- "Why?"

- "Because now that I know you don't care, I'm going to make you carry me around camp all the time." –she grinned at me- "I'm getting tired of all this running around."

- "If that means you're staying close to me all the time, you've got yourself a deal."

- "I've been around you literally since we landed, Blake! It proved hard not to, to be completely honest with you."

- "I'm going to vomit and you've just kissed for the first time." –Octavia rolled her eyes at us- "I don't even want to know how you both are going to be once Sam's all healed up. It's going to be unbearable."

- "O, I still love you, you know?" –I could feel the smile on Sam's voice.

- "I mean," -Octavia grinned back at her- "obviously."

- "And for your information, I've kissed your brother three times." –I felt the laughter in Sam's chest as she placed one of her hands with three fingers up in front of us for O to see, making me chuckle.

- "I'm so happy for you two, you deserve to be happy." –O took Sam's hand in hers placing it back around my neck- "But I gotta say I don't need all the details."

- "Thank you, O."

Sam nodded to my words before letting her head fall on my shoulder again. It was a long walk back to camp and we stopped a couple of times to rest, finding Lincoln in one of our stops. He told us about how Sheda told him about, as he had put it, Sam's stupid idea and how he had managed to escape from the Grounder's camp and was on his way back to the Mountain to help us when he found Cage walking around the forest. Cage tried to attack him with a blade, which Lincoln took away from him and used to kill him.

- "I believe this is yours, Sam." –Lincoln handed the blade to Sam, who was laying in between my legs, her back to my chest.

- "It's Oreth's blade, isn't it?" –Sam questioned and Lincoln nodded- "Thank you, Lincoln, for finishing what I couldn't and for bringing the blade back to me. I'm glad you're alright, big bro."

Lincoln helped me carry Sam back to camp as we kept turns carrying her, which she gracefully accepted naming herself 'the potato sack', making Octavia laugh and wish we had potatoes around. It was midday once we finally arrived at Camp Jaha. Monty and Clarke had joined Sam and me at the back of the group and we were the last to reach the entrance.

- "Bell, wait." –Sam made me stop before I moved any closer to the camp's door- "I think we may have an issue here."

- "What?"

- "Turn around." -I did as she told me and I saw Monty hugging Clarke- "I think she's leaving. You should go talk to her."

- "You're coming with me, then."

- "Bellamy, I think it'd be better if I just stay here. Put me down on the ground, I promise I won't move."

- "Why?"

- "It's going to be a serious conversation and carrying me like a baby doesn't fit the mood. Come on, you know I'm right. Besides, you are the leader here, not me." -as much as I wanted Sam to come with me, I had a feeling she was right so I finally lowered her to the ground- "Aren't you feeling better now without my dead weight on your back?" –Sam smiled up at me as I stood kneeled in front of her- "Now, go. I'll be here."

- "I love you."

- "I love you too but now go," -she chuckled, pushing me back after I kissed her- "we have all the time in the world to kiss but Clarke needs you now."

I rose just as Monty left Clarke alone and walked towards us and nodded at me as I walked up to Clarke, looking at the forest. before I spoke.

- "I'd say we deserve a drink." 

- "Have one for me."

- "We can get through this."

- "I'm not going in."

- "Clarke, if you need forgiveness I'll give that to you." –I turned to face her- "You're forgiven. Now, please, come inside."

- "Take care of them for me." –she looked at me before looking at Sam who was talking with Monty, both sat together smiling on the grass- "I'm glad Sam's alive."

- "Don't change the subject." –I knew her ways by now- "Why?"

- "Seeing their faces every day will remind me of what I did to get them here."

- "We did this, you weren't alone pulling the lever."

- "I bear it so they don't have to." -she recalled Dante's words and hugged me- "May we meet again."

I knew nothing of what I said would make her stay. I wondered if she had told her mother or if she was leaving without entering the camp because she knew Abby would stop her. I let go of her, watching as she turned around to leave.

- "Clarke!" –Sam yelled, gaining both our attention- "Stop right there, princess."

- "Sam, stop moving." –I hurried next to her as she stood up with Monty's help, placing my hand around her waist to hold her still, freeing Monty to go inside the camp- "Take it easy."

- "Don't boss me around just yet, Blake." –she held onto my vest- "Get me to Clarke."

- "Sam," –Clarke smiled walking up to us- "you need to go inside and get that wound taken care of."

- "You were leaving without saying goodbye." –Sam faced her- "Where are you gonna go?"

- "I don't know, but I'm not going inside."

- "Clarke, I know nothing of what I say will ease your feelings but just know I'd have pulled that lever too in a heartbeat. I should have stayed with you so that it'd been me pulling it down."

- "Sam..."

- "Wait, I'm not done. I also know you need time to think but just know you're going to have to hide yourself real good because, as soon as I'm fixed, I'm going after you." –Sam pocked Clarke's shoulder with a smirk on her face.

- "You can't do that."

- "Why?" –Sam scoffed- "Clarke, Bellamy and you are the leaders of this place, even if the adults still think otherwise."

- "You'll do great."

- "When I said I'd need a new job, I didn't mean yours."

Clarke smiled and shook her head. I had never had clear how Sam and Clarke's dynamic worked, if they considered each other friends or just allies but none of that seemed to matter as Sam let go of me and hugged Clarke tightly.

- "Stay alive, Clarke." –I heard Sam whisper into Clarke's hair and pulling away- "You didn't survive all this way just to be killed by a panther. Remember we ate the first one? Keep it that way."

- "I'll try." –Clarke laughed letting go of Sam as I placed my hand around her waist to keep her from falling- "May we meet again, Sam."

- "Oh, trust me, we will. Sooner or later, I'll find you, princess."

- "Don't let her anywhere near that fence."

- "Hey!" –Sam protested- "I'm still standing right here."

- "Take care of everyone for me, Sam."

Sam nodded as Clarke turned around and started to walk away from us, Sam resting her head on my shoulder as we watched her go until she disappeared into the woods. We knew the Grounders wouldn't hurt her; we had our truce after all. I moved my free hand to the back of Sam's knees to pick her up as she moved one arm around my neck and grabbed my vest with the other hand.

- "Now, let's get you home."

- "I'm already home."

She kissed my jaw lightly before resting her head on my shoulder and I smiled feeling completely happy since we landed, knowing I had the love of my life with me. This is home.