(Piper's POV)
The next morning, Larry's words were still on my mind. Alex was in the shower and I wanted to know how she felt about, well, my chest. I sat on the bed thinking about it and I didn't even notice her come out of the ensuite.
"You look deep in thought babe, what's going on?" Alex asked.
I was still in thought and hadn't heard her.
"Babe?" She asked again.
Again, I didn't respond, dreading what her answer would be to my question.
"Piper!" She then shouted and I jumped out of my thoughts.
"What? I'm sorry I wasn't listening I was thinking about something." I confess.
"Yeah I can see that, I was asking what you were thinking about." She said.
I stared at her not wanting to ask but she stared me down and I caved.
"Do you- do you wish?... No, never mind." I trailed off, changing my mind.
She frowned,
"Babe what's up? What's going on with you?" She asked, concerned and sat beside me.
I sighed and blurted it out, afraid that if I didn't, I'd never ask.
"Do you wish I had a larger chest? I mean, if you do I could go get an enlargement?" I asked, not looking at her and getting up to pace the floor, worried at what she might say. Self conscious now thanks to Larry.
She stayed on the bed for a while, she seemed stunned at my question.
"Why would you... why would you even ask me that?!" She asked incredulously and got up from the bed continuing,
"Pipes, if you so much as go near a plastic surgeon's parking lot, I'm getting a divorce." She said seriously then paused to come and grope me and continued,
"Touch my babies with a blade and you'll be getting chased with another one from our kitchen to make them perfect again." She laughed but maintaining her serious tone.
This made me laugh in surprise,
"Your babies?" I asked.
Alex smugly nods.
"Mmhm, there's 5 of them, these perfect little twins, your baby further south, that fucking gorgeous ass of yours and you of course."
I laughed,
"Who's your favourite baby?" I asked her.
She narrows her eyes in a playful glare,
"That's like asking me to choose between you and Diane. I love you both and oh so very much. But since they're all on you, I guess that means you are my favourite baby." She finishes, her tone getting softer and lower as she brings me in for a kiss.
It was a deep one. She fucks my mouth with her tongue, sucking mine into her mouth and biting my bottom lip. She was showing me she loves me and didn't want me to change then she pulls away with confusion springing on her face,
"Why would you even consider that?!" She asks, pulling away slightly to look at a now very dazed me after that kiss.
I reluctantly told her the answer, knowing she wouldn't like it.
"You um... you aren't... you aren't going to.. um... like the answer." At this, Alex steps back, folds her arms and arches one of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows.
"Spill it. Now." She demands.
"Larry um... Last night, he told Vanessa, who you know my history with.. he told her that um... and I quote 'my tits are like pebbles compared to her generous boulders." I sighed and continued,
"It made me feel self conscious and shit about myself and I wondered if you... um.... felt the same." I finish.
Alex sighs and unfolds her arms, bringing me into a tight embrace as she murmured in my ear,
"Babe, I have held a candle to you for 11 years, coming up on 12 now. No one came or ever will come close to you. You, schnookums, are perfect. In every way. And I love you. Now where is that brainless prick?" She asked, heading for the door after leaving a lingering kiss on my temple.
"Al. Babe. No-" I tried to start but she'd already left.
"Great." I sighed and flopped backwards onto the bed. I'll admit I was thrilled Alex loved me the way I am.
(Alex's POV)
I marched downstairs to find Larry fucking Bloom to give him a piece of my mind. My Piper was perfect and for him to say that to Vanessa of all people, to even think it, fuck no. I marched down the stairs and found him on a couch in the living room watching the seasonal football game with Cal, I guess a groom didn't have to have so much time to get ready for his wedding. I walked towards him like I did Pennsatucky in defence of Piper.
I jumped on top of him and grabbed him tightly by the collar of his dork sweater.
"Woah! Jesus Alex! I thought you were gay, married to my ex and hated me?!" He asked, stunned at me straddling him in anger.
"Oh I am and I do. Believe me, if I were straight, I wouldn't even walk to you never mind jump on you." I growl and intended to continue but he interrupted me.
"If this is how Piper feels when you're on top of her, I gotta say, I don't envy her, you're crushing me."
I rolled my eyes so far back into my head it hurt.
"Because that's my intention here, and no, this isn't how Piper feels when I'm on top of her actually because hurting her is the furthest and last thing I want to ever do to her, especially when I'm on top of her, oh and if her sex moans are anything to go by, not that it's any of your fucking business. But while we're talking about it, I love having her perfect breasts fitting perfectly in my hands when I cup them and squeeze them and kiss them and suck on them-."
"Stop." Larry grimaces, I smirk and Cal interrupts,
"Um, excuse me? Sis in law? Are you going somewhere with this? It's just, we're kinda missing the game here and I really don't want to know about my sister's sex life." He asks hesitantly.
"Yeah Cal, I am, that reminds me thank you." I tell him.
Larry snorts in laughter at Cal's question which brought my attention back to him.
"Alright listen up you prick. Call my wife's chest too small and imperfect again especially in front of that bully you're about to marry and I swear to God I'll cut off that button you call a dick with the bluntest knife I can find." I growl at him.
Larry widens his eyes in fear as Cal snorts in laughter. He gets on with Larry but Piper is still his sister.
"How did you find that out?!" Larry asks, surprised.
"What? About your remark about Piper's already perfect chest or the fact you have a button down there? How do you think dumbass? Piper told me. No, Piper asked me if I felt the same as you did and was planning to get a breast enlargement. I told her that you are in fact a brainless asshole and that she is perfect in every way and I love her for her. And I am telling you now, if I find that she so much has accidentally cut herself, any change to her already beautifully perfect body that I love so much, that I love to touch so much and Larry I swear to fuck I will kill you. Have a great fucking wedding day, never thought I'd see the day where I sympathised with one of Piper's bullies." I finished and instantly climbed off of him to go be with Piper again.