an... HUGE TRIGGER WARNING! don't ever think you're not enough because you are. you are here for a purpose. this is not meant to glamorize self harm of any sort, it's a very fucking serious topic. ily all, my dms are open if you need to talk to me! 🥰
you had no self control, you couldn't stop, everything piled on. you tried to stop adding fresh cuts, but you were addicted to drawing with a razor.
you stopped for a while when ben first walked into your life, but ultimately ended in the same spot.
you hated when your depression got the best of you. you hated that you were getting comfortable with your depression. you were afraid to talk to someone about getting the help you needed though.
"ohhh y/n!" ben called ripping you violently out of your thoughts
"ohhh ben!" you sang back, you were good at faking happiness. you noticed something shift in the room. ben looked horrified.
"well what's that look for?" you giggled a bit. you noticed bens eyes started to swell with tears.
"why? i love you, but that isn't cool, it doesn't make you quirky. that makes you dumb." ben sniffled out. you noticed your shirt was lifted just enough to show older cuts.
"they're old ben." ben rolls his eyes.
"they sure as hell aren't that old, they weren't there last week!" he was right.
"can you please stop yelling at me?" you cried into his shoulder. ben took your hand in his hand and kissed it gingerly.
"i'm sorry, i just love you so much and i am so disappointed in my self and you. i'm just not gonna lie."
"i'm sorry." you wiped bens cheek.
"don't be, i'm sorry though."
"i love you ben."
"i love you too, but if you are hurting, whenever. call me, i don't care if we're not together, i need you to call me when you're in pain."
"i will ben, i promise."