𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳 · 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥 ²

𝟐.𝟏𝟐

──── 「PARTING; SUCH
SWEET SORROW」 ────

     Octavia and Lincoln ended up moving away with Raven, leaving me alone with Sam, unable not to move my eyes over her wounded body; I couldn't believe she had willingly run into this. God, she was so stupidly reckless sometimes, but I loved her for it.

- "Is it that bad?"

- "You are bleeding from at least 10 different places."

- "That doesn't really answer my question, you know?"

- "Is not as bad as last time I had to take care of you."

- "Then we are good."

- "You have an interesting concept of 'being good'."

- "We're alive and the truce is still holding. I'd say we are better than a couple of days ago."

- "Maybe we are." –I stroke her cheek- "But you almost died, again." –I emphasized the last word.

- "I could have taken a couple more before I passed out, have a little faith."

- "I'm not joking, Sam. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I almost lost my mind the last time and seeing you all tied up..." –I sighed, clenching my jaw as the images played back in my head- "Your selflessness is one of the things that I love most about you but I'd appreciate it if you could just stop trying to get killed and were a little more selfish."

- "Have you forgotten one of the first things I ever told you?"

I shook my head in denial but then I remembered she had her eyes closed and forced myself to speak.

- "What was it?"

- "I speak too much and act too soon."

- "Yeah." –I smiled remembering that day- "Then, you told me O had gotten hurt because of you and I don't think I've ever gone so fast from being so interest in someone to wanting to kill them."

- "Huh." –she grinned- "So you were interested in me back then? Who'd have guessed."

- "You may not be aware of it, but pretty much everyone at camp was interested in you in some way; you were a mystery. You still kind of are."

- "Now, that I highly doubt."

- "By then most people knew you had risked your life for a couple of us. Some of them wanted to be more like you and others tried to avoid you as much as possible." –I laughed- "I'd say most of them were kinda scared of you."

- "I think you're getting confused here, Blake." –she grinned, a soft chuckle escaping her lips- "Everyone was afraid to even go near you Mr. 'whatever the hell we want'."

- "You sure took my rule to heart."

- "Yeah, that's the only rule I ever follow, feel free to brag it's yours."

Before I could ask her about the kiss, Abby came to us and started taking care of the wounds. Maybe it didn't mean anything, it's not like she kissed me on the lips anyway... maybe she was going for my cheek but I moved.

- "Can you walk?"

Kane was quick to ask Sam once Abby was done. I helped her stand up, holding her up against my chest for a second. The majority of the cuts had been on her upper body, but someone had given her a rough and long cut on her left thigh.

- "Yeah... but no one get in trouble again," -Sam smiled, holding onto my upper arms as she held her weight up on her own- "I'm getting tired of this."

Once we had set camp for the night, we made a fire and we all sat around it. As we talked, I noticed Sam closing her eyes and resting her head on my shoulder. I smiled, wrapping my arm around her and pulling her to me, kissing her forehead and she soon fell asleep.

- "How did you know it was Gustus?"

- "He'd do anything for her." –I answered Lincoln, glancing at Sam for a moment, smiling as she slept peacefully, rubbing her upper arm before looking back at him- "To protect her. It just made sense."

- "Sounds a lot like you both."

Octavia looked at her and then smiled up at me; before I could answer her, Raven came to us out of nowhere, screaming for us.

- "Shh, Sam's asleep." –I reproached her as she stood beside me- "What is it?"

- "I'm sorry, but you have to listen to this."

She then proceeded to take out a walkie that played a message from Jasper, saying they were trapped inside Mount Weather and had taken Harper somewhere. They were all alive still. This was our moment.

- "Talk to him." –Clarke demanded harshly- "Say something!"

- "It's repeating." -Ravn glanced at her- "It's a recording."

- "We need to do this now." –I carefully lowered Sam on the ground and rose to talk with Clarke - "We've got the alliance, now's the time to use it."

- "First we need an inside man." –she looked at me- "You were right, without someone on the inside to lower their defenses, turn off the acid fog, an army is useless. You should go."

- "I thought you hated that plan." –I reminded her- "That I'd get myself killed."

- "I was being weak." –she spoke coldly- "It's worth the risk. My map of Mount Weather." –she handed it to me- "Find a way to get on that radio and talk to us. Good luck."

With that, she left back with Lexa. So much for not wanting me to die. I shook my head; I had to do this.

- "Bell, how are you...?"

- "I can get you through the tunnels."

- "You can't go back there, Lincoln. Not yet."

- "Let me show you what to look for." –Raven told me as she moved to her tent.

I looked down at Sam, who was still sleeping and therefore had not heard a thing. It's probably for the best; she'll stay here safe this time, even if I have to die to make sure she survives.

     After I talked with Lincoln and he left to get ready, I realized Sam hadn't heard anything and was still asleep next to the fire. I can't believe he is going to leave without talking with her. It's like I have to do all the work around here. I sighed and moved towards Sam.

- "Sam..." –I whispered softly as I touched her face- "I need you to wake up." -I didn't want to be too brusque with her but I knew she needed to wake up - "Sam, please. There's important stuff going on."

Sam groaned after I pushed her a couple more times and slowly opened her eyes.

- "Someone better be in real danger because I was really digging that rest, O." –she smiled as her eyes focused on me.

- "Raven intercepted a message from Mount Weather. It was Jasper's."

- "What?" –she softly yelled sitting up- "Why did no one wake me up immediately."

- "Because that's the only good news."

- "Well, those are some damn good news, the bad can't be that bad, can it?"

- "Clarke is sending Bellamy as her inside man; she said it's worth the risk. Lincoln offered to go with him."

- "I knew she'll lose it eventually." –Sam stood up slowly reminiscing what she told Clarke when she came back from talking with the Commander- "I'll go. Lincoln can't go back there yet."

- "I don't want to burst your bubble, Sam, but you're too weak."

- "When are they leaving?"

- "Now."

- "What do you mean now?" –she looked at me, furrowing her eyebrows before she realized what I meant, rolling her eyes- "Really? Where is he?"

I walked with Sam to where Lincoln and Bellamy were finalizing their disguises; Bellamy had his back to us so Lincoln was the first to see us, he hugged Sam first and then came with me, leaving Bellamy and Sam alone.

     I hadn't woken Sam up because I knew she needed to rest but, most importantly, because I didn't want to say goodbye to her; I couldn't do it. Watching her slowly making her way to me made me both happy and sad: happy to see her one more time before I left but sad because I knew I had to leave her. And that was the last thing I wanted to do.

- "Sam..." -I sighed as I faced her- "What are you doing awake, you need to rest."

- "So, you really were about to leave on a suicide mission without telling me, huh?" –she crossed her arms over her chest– "Wait a minute." -she paused for a second as her eyes widened- "You've become me." –she furrowed her eyebrows- "So this is how you've been feeling all this time?"

- "I wanna say yes." –I smiled a bit.

- "You truly have a lot of patience, my friend. I was ready to kick the shit out of you; I don't know how you contain yourself."

- "Me neither." –I grinned and walked up to her the final steps keeping us apart- "So, I guess O woke you up and told you what's going on." -she nodded- "And?"

- "Why didn't you wake me up? You can't go straight into hell and leave me here wondering..."

- "Because I know you, Sam." –I stopped her- "You can't come with me, I have to do this on my own."

- "I wish I had more time to think of a way for you to stay." –she looked at the ground.

- "What...? Sam..."

- "You told me you wanted me to be less impulsive and more selfish." –she rose her eyes and looked at me- "This is me being selfish: I want you to stay with me; I want to save them as much as everyone else but I admit I want you more than that."

- "I guess this is my time to act impulsively and truly be more like you." –I smiled softly at her, running my thumb over her cheek.

- "I'll go with you." -she took my hand in hers, her eyes moving desperately over my face.

- "No. You've already risked too much for us. Let me do it now." -I interlaced our fingers- "Let me be the warrior now."

- "I don't like this new dynamic you're proposing."

- "I do because for once I know that you are going to be safe. For once, it is me getting in trouble and not you. There's nothing I want more in this world than to keep you safe."

- "I hate you so much right this second." –she shook her head, looking at the ground and I knew I had succeeded, taking her chin in my hand to meet her gaze- "Just because you're making a little sense, because I know I'd only be a burden to you now, doesn't mean I like this plan and I'm going to make sure Clarke understands that losing you is not 'worth the risk'." –she air-quoted Clarke's words as she let go of my hand.

- "It is."

- "In what universe are you to even say that." –she raised her eyebrow at me.

- "Sam, one life in exchange for forty-seven is always worth the risk."

- "Not this time, Bellamy. Not if it's yours."

- "Sam..."

- "No. Listen, I need to tell you something before you leave."

- "Don't." –I stopped her placing a finger over her lips.

- "Why?" –she asked catching my hand in hers- "You don't even know what I'm going to say."

- "Because if we start this, I'll say things and I'll stay with you. And we both know that's not fair for Jasper and the others."

She looked at me and, for a moment, I regretted stopping her. I wasn't even sure we were talking about the same thing here but I wasn't ready to hear it nor to get my heart broken. I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her body, not too tightly because I was sure she was still in pain but tightly enough to feel her trembling in my arms. I hated having to leave her.

- "Promise me you'll come back, Bellamy." –she whispered against my chest.

- "You know I can't do that."

- "I swear to the Gods if you don't come back to me or I don't hear from you soon enough, I'll go inside Mount Weather myself, and then I will truly kick your ass, Blake."

- "Promise me you won't risk your life while I'm gone."

- "What could I possibly do that's more dangerous than what you're about to do, huh?" –she asked, one of her hands resting on the side of my neck and the other drawing figures on my back.

- "What you just described, to begin with." –I chuckled softly.

- "Then promise me you'll do your best to come back to me."

- "I promise you that's the only thing I'll be thinking about as soon as I get to our people. I'll try my best to come back." –I paused for a moment- "To come back to you."

- "I think I can do with that."

We stood like that, in peaceful silence, until I saw Lincoln and Octavia approaching us; I wished for more time but I knew, even then, it wouldn't be enough.

- "It's time, Sam."

She tightened her grip around me before sighing against my neck and letting go. I held her hands in mine and looked into her eyes.

- "You're not kissing me and leaving, Blake." –she smiled but her eyes remained sad.

- "You know that's basically what you did back at the village, right?"

- "Did my lips touch yours? I don't recall that and I'm pretty sure I didn't lose that much blood this time." –she smirked- "Besides, that's not how I roll."

- "I can't wait to know how you like to do things, love."

Her lips were taken over by a shy smile, looking into my eyes for another second before she hugged me again, burying her face in my neck before kissing me there and moving back to look into my eyes.

- "Come back to me, Bell."

I cupped her face in my hands and stroke her cheeks with my thumbs and she closed her eyes, smiling into my touch. She was so beautiful. She made me feel things I thought I was incapable of. I mimicked the kiss she gave me back in Tondc, kissing the corner of her lips.

- "Don't miss me too much."

- "Whatever, Blake." –she rolled her eyes- "Don't be so full of yourself."

- "You love it."

- "Not necessarily." –she smiled- "But I do love you, Bell."

- "I love you, Sam."

And, for some reason, I felt those words meant something else this time, something more for both of us. Lincoln hugged Sam goodbye and we were on our way. Leaving that night was probably the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I didn't look back because all I wanted to do was hold Sam and keep her safe in my arms, but right now, I needed to be a warrior. For our friends. For her.

     Lincoln and I moved back to where we had left Sam and Bellamy. They were hugging and I was afraid we may have broken the magic of the moment, but none of them seemed to care. Did it happen already? Did I miss it? I couldn't contain my emotions from probably showing as Lincoln chuckled beside me.

- "What?"

- "I think you're more excited about them getting together than they are themselves."

- "That's because they are both equally blind when it comes to the other's feelings."

I kissed Lincoln goodbye and he moved towards them; he hugged Sam goodbye before he and Bellamy walked away, not looking back as Sam made her way towards me.

- "So, since I didn't see a goodbye kiss, I'm going to assume none of you confessed."

- "I was so close, O." –Sam gave a sad smile.

- "What happened?"

- "He asked me not to. I don't know why because he couldn't have known where I was going ..."

- "Why?" –I cut her- "I mean why did he stop you. What did he say exactly?"

- "He said he'd stay if I kept talking."

- "It's happening!" –I almost screamed.

- "What's happening?" –Sam started looking around her, adopting a defensive position.

- "You idiot!" -I laughed and she relaxed her posture- "Bellamy finally, and I mean finally, realized you are just as in love with him as he's with you."

- "If only that were true."

- "What do you mean?"

- "Listen, O. Right now, I don't even care if he's in love with me or if we are just friends, I just want him back safe." –she hugged herself- "Soon."

- "I'm sure he'll come back to you." –I hugged her.

- "I'm sure Lincoln will come back to you."

We didn't stay there much longer, moving with everyone else back to Arkadia. Walking around camp that afternoon had been weird: the Commander had sent Indra and a couple of dozens of their warriors to train together with us, but we'd worry about that in the morning, Sam and I choosing to bunk together like we used to. I had missed it, talking after we turned off the light, laughing and shushing each other until we fell asleep.

- "So," –I eyed Sam as we got ready the next morning- "Looks like you are going to train with them after all."

- "Best thing about this is we'll do it together like we used to." –she avoided Lincoln's name; I knew what she was doing.

- "Yeah, and this time I'll win you each time we spar together."

- "As long as it's together, I don't care."

Once we were both dressed and geared up, we headed towards the room where Kane had decided to have a meeting between us and the Grounders. Sam and I stood together next to a wall with guards around us. As Indra entered the room, people started to whisper and Sam straightened herself out of respect for her, so I did the same.

- "Alright, quiet down." –Kane said coming in- "Indra, please." –he motioned to the middle of the room.

Indra moved following Kane's directions; her presence was intimidating and we were soon reminded about it.

- "Don't worry." –a guard beside me told us- "My shock baton's got both your backs."

- "How about you stick it up your ass instead?"

I was quick to answer and Sam started laughing loudly, making me smile. Kane shot us a look and Sam immediately tried to compose herself.

- "I know we don't have a lot in common." –Kane began- "But we do have a common enemy and a common goal. And for us to reach it, to get our people out of Mount Weather we need to work together." –he looked at Indra- "Ogeda, Skaikru en Trikru. Our survival depends on sharing our knowledge to defeat Mount Weather."

Suddenly, Murphy pushed a Grounder back as he stood up as if they were ready to get into a fight.

- "Mr. Murphy." –Kane called- "Apologize to that man."

- "For what? He was the one who came at me."

- "Two days' work detail."

- "Work detail? I just told you I didn't do anything!"

- "Care to make it three?"

Sam had moved forward and was watching everything carefully as Murphy contemplated what to do next. He shook his head and started to move away from the Grounder when he spoke.

- "You're gonna burn just like your friend." -then, the Grounder looked at Sam- "Then we'll get your girlfriend."

And it was done. Murphy punched the guy in the face and he punched him back. Kane started yelling for Murphy to stop but it was too late now: Grounders moved to help his man while Sam and some guards helped Murphy, I tried to help too by pushing people away from the fight. It took a solid 5 minutes to break the fight off. Kane took Murphy away as Indra took care of her men. The first Grounder looked at Sam and moved threateningly towards her, but she didn't flinch.

- "You're next."

- "I'm not afraid of you."

- "Enough." –Indra ordered from the other side of the room.

The Grounder looked at her before glancing back at Sam and nodding. They all exited the room.

- "This just got so much more interesting." –Sam commented as we both moved towards the exit.

- "He's coming for you."

- "Then, he'll find me." -I looked at her, concerned- "I know he's much bigger and stronger than me but I'm not giving him the satisfaction of backing down, O. We'll train, and then I'll get him. Just give it some time."

- "That's a much better plan than going straight up to him as soon as you get the opportunity."

- "I'm going to check on Murphy, I'll see you later, alright?"

I nodded at her and we went different ways through the ship.

     I wanted to check on Murphy because he was my friend and I was worried. He was the only one I had on the ship still, besides Octavia and Raven who had kind of vanished as soon as we made it back but I was convinced she was at her lab building something that'd make me feel extremely proud of her. I finally found him in a room wiping the floors.

- "Well, now this is a sight I never thought I'd come to witness." –I chuckled sitting on a table.

- "Came here to have a laugh, Sam?" –he smirked at me.

- "I came to check on you."

- "I'm fine."

- "You don't seem to be 'fine'. Care to talk to your bff?"

- "Let me know when that person arrives."

- "How dare you." –I crossed my arms over my chest, making my best to try to sound hurt.

- "Oh, there she is." –he let the mop down and came to sit next to me- "I'm kidding; of course, you are my best friend; I have no other friends."

- "I won't even fake I'm offended by your implication."

- "What implication?"

- "That I wouldn't be your best bud if you had more friends." –I smiled- "I'm joking." –I added seeing the hurt look on his face- "I don't need to put a tag on us." –I laughed- "But I didn't come here to name names."

- "Then?"

- "That Grounder was an ass."

- "Oh, so you came here to talk shit?"

- "We can do that if you want, I don't have anything else to do."

- "Don't you have to go train?"

- "I take you don't like this plan by your tone."

- "I couldn't care less about the Grounders."

- "We have to live with them, M. One way or another."

- "I mean, we can't go back to space, can we?"

- "Would you go back?"

- "If it meant living without all the Chancellors, the Grounders, and both their stupid rules then why not?"

- "I mean, the view was nice."

I started laughing as Murphy agreed, our little bubble being interrupted as someone cleared their throat behind us, making Murphy jump from his place and take the mop again as I turned around. Jaha, great.

- "Jaha."

- "Samantha Besnik, always a pleasure."

- "I highly doubt it." –I dryly replied- "I take you came to talk with Murphy." –he nodded and I turned to face Murphy- "I'll see you later, okay?"

Murphy gave me a small smile in return and a simple nod. I'm not sure if I like leaving Jaha alone with Murphy, who knows what he is thinking of now that he is not Chancellor anymore. I sighed and made a mental note to check on Murphy later that day.