It took me a couple of days before I finally ventured out of the bedroom, let alone the house. Even still, I had been here for just over a week and I had left the house a total of two times. Once because Aunt Piper wanted me to help her with the grocery shopping and the second time was because I just needed to clear my head outside the house. Thankfully the house had a pool and the summer air was still here.
It was refreshing, getting outside and taking a dip into the pool. I swam up and back, lap after lap, letting the water rush around my body as I took a quick breath before swimming to the other end without coming up for air. My lungs burned, as I pumped my legs and arms quickly to reach the other side of the pool. I came up the moment my hand touched the pool wall and I gasped for air.
I leaned my forearms against the edge of the pool, taking in deep breathes of air to help my lungs. Air was just what I needed in my lungs. I let it course through my body and looked forward to the wide outdoor space. I saw a few people milling around, walking through the forest paths, jogging or walking. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the sunshine and heat, just like I was.
For one split moment and I mean a moment, I thought about what the Twins were doing. I knew Uncle Gerard; Alpha Christiansen was in his office having discussion about rebuilding outposts and outer houses. Aunt Piper, Luna Christiansen was gardening with some of the elders around the territory. Cousin Gerard was at school, most likely stuck inside, taking classes. And well, who knows what my mates were doing. But it was a split moment that I asked myself what they were doing.
I shook my head of the thought. They hadn't cared about me, asking me what I was doing. They didn't ask how my day was or what I was doing for the day. Every day for the past week and a bit, all they said was hi and bye, maybe a kiss on the forehead. They occasionally asked me if I would take the bed instead of the window seat that I have been currently sleeping on. Aside from that, I was just some random guest staying. I wanted to scream at this, I wasn't being treated right; in my eyes I wasn't.
I took another deep breath in and then dived back under the water and continued to do laps of the pool to keep myself active. I was bored staying inside but there was not much for me to do since I knew the Twins didn't exactly want me wondering the territory or even showing me off. Whatever men did around here to show their mates off. I was just something that was living in their bedroom, right at this moment.
The pool was refreshing, but my legs and arms started to ache from all the movement. I swam back once more, letting the water flow over my body and my hand touched the wall. I swam up, breaching the surface of the water, I walked to the steps that were leading into the pool. I swayed my hips, treading the water with my feet as I walked to the bottom step. Stepping up, adjusting my bikini bottoms and my cropped top, I took the final step and rinsed my hair.
I bent down to pick up my towel when I heard a couple of wolf whistles and I turned around. Not only were there a bunch of shirtless, well-toned men staring at me. But both of my mates were growling and glaring at the men who had just taken a good look at me. I smiled and waved to the bunch of men, wrapping my towel around my waist and finding my water bottle, which I was in dire need of.
Slurping down the water quickly, I felt a presence on me and I knew exactly what it was.
"Alphas," I smile, capping my water bottle back up, "and gentlemen." I noticed the group of men behind them. Both of my mates glared at me and I knew what they wanted, despite the fact that I didn't want to, I unwrapped the towel, dumping it onto the ground and picking up my sleeveless sundress that I threw over the top of my bikini. "Better, I assume?"
I didn't even wait for their response, I swayed my hips and left them. I made sure to pick up my towel, bending over to give them a view. I was feeling flirty and kind of sexy today. There was something in the summer air that made me feel free. I picked up my water bottle, my small canvas bag and chucked my sunnies on. "Goodbye gentlemen." I waved and made my way around to the front of the house.
I thought about heading inside and reading a book, but I wanted to explore the territory. I held my head high, sunnies over my eyes protecting my vision from the rays of the summer sun. I smiled as I walked down the driveway which seemed more like a pathway. With not a clue in the world where I was going, I let my feet do the walking. I ignored a few stares and followed the path through what I believed it the main street.
I smiled softly, walking past a few people staring at me. I looked around and saw a few shops. There wasn't much around, but enough for the territory to live off. I do, however, recall a town not far from the territory which most people also use during their time. So I could understand why there was only a couple of shops around. There was a grocery store to buy fresh produce which I assumed was grown in the fields or local gardens. A café for those that needed something to eat or drink, the local pub slash hotel for good dinner and finally a news seller.
I walked along and finally came to a corner, which was an empty store front. It was upsetting seeing a store not being used or simply out of business. I looked across the main street, decided to have something to eat and made my way to the café. I took a moment to look down the main street and see both the Alpha's house and the Pack house, which happened to be the opposite end of the main street. Alpha down one end and the pack house down the other.
I walked into the somewhat busy café, which a few questionable looks I make my way to the front counter. I quickly eyed the menu that was displayed and waited for someone to talk too. A woman appeared from behind the counter and gave me a glare. I smiled sweetly at her.
"What can I get you?" She asked, not so politely.
"Hi," I say, "can I get a cup of tea, earl grey and a slice of the cheesecake, please?"
She looked at me, rolling her eyes. "Would you like that to be here?"
"Yes please," I answered having nowhere else to be.
"That will be $8.50. Cash or card?" She looked down.
I look through my bag quickly and grab my wallet, handing over a couple of notes. She hands me a table number and my change before sulking away, not before giving me a nasty side-eye. I turn around, astonished by this rude behaviour. I walk to a seat and table tucked away in the corner of the café and place my belongings down. I take out my notebook and pen, placing it on the table in front of me.
For over a week, these pages having been staring at me, mocking me even. I opened up the front over and looked on the third page. One dot point was placed but nothing written beside. I had been mulling over what to write and what I needed in this relationship. The dot point simply laughed at me for not writing something, anything. I twisted the pen, so that the pen would actually appear, and I thought about what I needed.
"What do I need..." I muttered to myself, taping the pen on the notebook, trying to think.
I honestly thought of what I needed. Firstly, I needed someone to care and love me for me, to never leave me alone in a time of need. Secondly, someone to trust me, to have faith in me, believe in me. Thirdly, to make me feel special, like I'm wanted and needed. After I got the first three points down, a few more followed and I had a total of 10 things I needed in this relationship.
The rude woman from behind the counter arrived with my tea and cheesecake. I gave her a quick smile and thanked her. I allowed the tea to brew a little longer before I wanted to pour it. Instead I took a small mouthful of the cheesecake and almost threw it back up. Nothing was right about this cheesecake. No flavour and the cream cheese, whipped cream mixture just seemed off. The base didn't seem right at all.
"This place seriously lacks a bakery..." I mutter once more to myself.
And then, it was like a light bulb moment. Despite where my thoughts were supposed to go and supposed to be invest in; what I needed in this relationship slash mateship with the Twins. My mind and thoughts went to that corner store that laid empty on the main street. It was something that I never thought I'd be able to do or much less something that I never thought I'd want to do.
Chef Jacques always joked about me opening up a place of my own for my baked goods. None of his staff could beat my baked goods, my sweet treats and buttery pastry goodness. My thoughts of what I needed in a relationship seem to vanish, after the first ten points, the next thing that I was thinking of was a proposal to my Aunt and Uncle about the corner store.
I flipped to the back of my notebook and started writing, taking sips of my earl grey tea. I made notes, designs of the space and ideas of what I wanted. I made a list of materials, furniture, supplies and whitegoods to make this place my own. I lost track of time with everything pouring out of my head and onto the paper. It was just all happening in my mind and I just needed to get it out and down before I would forget it.
I took the last mouthful of cold tea, grabbing my belongings and racing out of the café as I realised, I was most likely late for dinner. I jogged down the main street, most likely looking ridiculous. I jogged up the front steps and onto the front porch that wrapped around half of the house and opened the front door. Unfortunately, I was greeted by two big, bulky men standing at the front door waiting for me.
"Sweet goddess..." I balance myself. I didn't see them running in and just expected the front foyer to be empty.
"Well atleast she believes in our goddess, brother." Leon said with a firm lip.
"That indeed brother, but where has our little mate been all day?" Barrett crosses his arms.
The thing with the Twins, I could never tell between their own personalities. They seemed to be very similar and not be their own person. One day Leon would be the serious one and the follow day he would be nice and most likely the joking one. The same for Barrett, one day he would be joking and messing around and then bam, next day he would be serious Barrett.
But right now, my Twin mates were serious and furious at me. That much was shown in their posture, stance and just their facial expressions. For once, they showed me they actually cared for my whereabouts and wanted to inflict some kind of emotion in me. It was hard to believe that these two big brutes were actually concerned with me.
"I've been in the main street," I responded, "I was at the café, if you must know."
"You went alone?" Barrett seemed mad.
"Yes, I went alone. Everyone was busy."
"You could have asked us to join you." Leon took a step in front of Barrett, who seemed to be wanting to tear me a new one.
"Neither of you want to be alone in the same room as I, let alone at a café. What makes you think I'd ask you two to spend time with me? You're always busy with Alpha duty or training or having a social life with your friends, which I don't have, might I add. I'm alone here, you've teared me from my home, away from family and friends that kept me sane. I'm an outsider here and neither one of you have even treated me like I'm welcome here.
"I haven't met anyone besides your family here. I'm this human girl walking around a wolf territory without a mate or a guide or someone that proves that I belong here. I doubt some days I don't even belong here. I struggle to feel something here and this stupid bond doesn't help the situation."
I had to stand my ground and get what has been on my mind for the last week and a bit. I was beyond annoyed that I was treated horribly by the two of them. Two people that needed me in their life. I'd say I had a choice in leaving the palace but in reality, I know what the mateship was and I couldn't do that to them. As much as the term 'rejection' was on my mind, I couldn't bring myself to say the word to either of them.
"Now, if you two don't mind. I'm going to head to bed and I mean a bed. I'll take the spare bedroom beside your room." I stepped around them.
"But Nyla-..." Barrett started to plead.
"And don't think about moving me back into your bedroom. If you do, I may not return here."
"Can you honestly believe that you would leave us?" Leon stood there, with what looks like a small smirk on his lips. He knew I could be lying. I was a terrible liar, I've never denied that fact. But right in this moment, I don't think I was lying.
"Yes." I threw a stern look and marched myself up the staircase.
Both looked as though I most likely ripped their heart out. In honesty, I hope I did. Because my heart was hurting more than I ever thought with being with these two. I thought I would struggle to get over Conri, but at this very moment, my heart was struggling to even comprehend what was happening with them. I knew that I couldn't truly love them without them willing to try and make this work, but my heart must have been feeling the bond form already.
"Stupid fucking mate bond..." I muttered, throwing open the Twins bedroom door. I grabbed my unpacked bags and my laptop case, talking to myself in frustration. "Bloody goddess for putting me with them... Why couldn't it be Conri?... Why put me with two people that don't want me here? Why, I ask? WHY?"
I slam the bedroom door that is next to the Twins. A queen bed was the key feature of this room. Thankfully I still had a window seat that I placed some of my things in. I decided that I would actually unpack my clothes and belongings in this room because it felt like it could be mine. I flopped onto the bed and let a scream hit the pillow. It was something that was much needed.
I reached into my canvas bag for my phone, shifting through the bag and I picked it out. I dialled one of my favourites. And I waited for someone to pick up on the other end.
"Nyla!" A female voice answers on the other end.
"Oh, thank fuck you picked up." I curse. "I needed to speak to you."
"This seems serious, do I need to get my brother?" Clara asked.
"No, please don't get him. He honestly can't do anything."
"You and the twins haven't... well... you know... mated?" Clara asks.
I gagged. "No, oh sweet goddess we haven't. I don't think I could anytime soon. I can't even kiss them, let alone let them kiss me anywhere else but the forehead or my cheek. I don't feel comfortable around them, flirtatious maybe, but not comfortable."
"What do you mean flirtatious?"
"I mean they saw me in something what wasn't full clothing today. I wore a bikini to the pool, whilst I was swimming." I reply, readjusting myself in the bed.
"Hang on, since when do you wear bikinis? You've always been a one-piece girl." Clara asks, knowing that all my life I have never felt that comfortable to wear a bikini around people. Regardless of what encouragement Clara would give me. I would always wear a one-piece. However today when I went through my luggage, I couldn't find my faithful and trustworthy one-piece suit and all I found in its place was a couple of bikini's.
"I suspected your brother is trying to play some kind of match-maker game." I sigh out. "I couldn't find my one-piece in my suitcases. Your brother must have re-packed the bag whilst I wasn't looking."
"Sneaky asshole," She giggles, "but at least you gave wearing a bikini outside a go. I'm proud of you for that."
"It went better than expected, I tell you." I chuckle, remembering the faces of the group of men behind the Twins. All trying to get a good look, I presume.
"So, I know you didn't call me to talk about your bathing suit problem. What's up? Because you always call Conri first before me."
I took a deep breath in and replied. "I can't talk to your brother about these things anymore. It's just awkward and somewhat hurtful, given my feelings towards him. Don't get me wrong, I'll still love him, but just a friend. I can't truly love him if I have to share my love between two idiots."
"What have the Twins done now?" She questions, like it's an occurring thing.
"That's it, Leon and Barrett haven't done anything." I groan out. "Neither one of them has shown me any signs of affection or care or that they are interested in me. Call me crazy, but it's like I'm just going to breed their pups and be something in the background. They had a go at me today for firstly, wearing a bikini and secondly the fact that I had been away from the house all day. I think that's the first time they actually cared about my whereabouts."
Clara didn't respond straight away. She hesitated in answering my dilemma. "Did you end up writing that list?"
"I did, I was finishing it off today because I just couldn't fathom what to write. I eventually got there and wrote 10 things that I would want and need from this. It sounds absurd to even need to write these things out, because I know what other people have gone through in their relationships and it didn't have rules or guidelines, it was natural. Sure, everyone has ups and downs, but they loved each other.
"I, on the other hand have been dragged here and not even given a chance to get to know them. More than when I was younger and being constantly bullied. Do you know they haven't even talked to me much? Or that neither one of them has asked me out on a date? Maybe, just maybe they could woo a girl, instead of having their Alpha blood get women in."
"I can't believe you said the word 'woo'." Clara chuckles. I groan and she stops her chuckling. She coughs to compose herself. "You need to put your foot down and talk to them."
"They are never around to talk to, must less be in the same room long enough. I mean today when I got back from being out of the house, when they were asking me where I went. That was the longest conversation we've had since I got here."
"Communication is the key."
"I understand that Clara, but neither one-..." I couldn't finish that sentence because my heart started to ache more than I would have imagined. I groaned and moaned out in pain, before the torture really began and I began to scream. "Cl-ar...Clara... Somethings wrong..."
I closed my eyes to focus, but my eyes were only filled with images that were just disgusting. I could see Leon, kissing a neck of another she-wolf. I must have been in Barrett's eyes. Barrett looked down and I could see something that could never be undone. I opened my eyes and groaned. Those fucking bastards were getting it on with someone and I was feeling it.
"NY!" A scream from my phone got me.
"Clara... They are sleeping with someone... The Twins..." Everything was breathless, I was fighting with the pain and the hurt. "this fucking... uhhh... Goddess... This bond is torture... why am I feeling this?... this shouldn't be happening..."
"Head to the shower and turn it on. Call me once the pain subsides. You need to keep cool yourself down before getting the warmth back in you from a hotter shower. It will help with the pain, trust me."
I hang up on the phone with Clara and stumble to the shower. Turning the taps on, I placed myself under the cool water. I sat there, shaking, crying out in pain and trying to avoid the images that were popping in my head.
"It's going to be a long night..." I say to myself.