"Y/N...what are you doing?" The sound of Sam's voice startles you. You drop the baking sheet that was in your hand, causing a loud clatter to fill the room.
"Shit, Sam you scared me," you say, turning to see Sam leaning in the doorframe of the kitchen. His arms cross over his flannel-clad chest, and a small grin is covering his face. Placing a hand on your chest, you can feel your heart race, and although you try to tell yourself, it's just because he scares you, you know its also because of him.
"Sorry, didn't mean to," he says pushing himself from the doorframe, and walking towards you. "Just heard all this noise, and wonder who was making it," he says, looking down at your phone, that was still playing music...louder than usual. The other reason you didn't hear him coming. You give him a small smile, picking up the phone and turning down the volume.
"Sorry...just needed some music while I cook," you say, setting down the phone, and bending to pick up the pan.
"Your cooking?" Sam questions, going over to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.
Yes, it's true that Dean does most of the cooking, but the few times that he let someone else use the space, you jump at the chance. They both seem to like your cooking, and although your specialty is desserts, you do have a few savory dishes up your sleeves.
"Yes...pizza night," you say, moving past him, and opening the fridge to grab veggies, meat, and other ingredients for the pizza. Sam has made his way, to sit down at the table. "What, are you going to watch?" you ask, pulling another pot out.
"Thought I could keep you company?" He says, setting the water bottle on the table. Not that you don't like the idea of hanging out with Sam, but just having him watch you make dinner, makes you...nervous.
"How about you help?" You say, hoping that he will take your offer. Sam looks taken aback by this, clearing his throat, you can tell this was not part of the plan. "I mean, I have all these veggies, I was planning on making you a veggie pizza, and have another meat/(your favorite pizza) pizza for Dean and me to share. God knows Dean hates veggies even coming near his food" you joke but knowing it's the truth.
"Umm..." he says, looking away from you, and towards the table. You can tell that he doesn't really want to, him and the kitchen never really have been a thing, but trying one last time.
"Come on Sam, I could you someone with good knife skills," you say sweetly, hoping this will get him.
"Sure," he says, getting up from the table, a smile breaks out on your face, which causes him to smile back. "no promises this is going to be pretty," he says, walking over to stand next to you.
"You will be fine," You say, turning from him, and grabbing a knife and cutting board for him. Once he is all set on what needs to be done, you set on cooking off some meat for Dean's pizza.
Woking is silence, except for the music is nice. You and Sam have always been friends, with the same interests in books and movies, it was easy to form a friendship with him. You were relieved when a year ago, your whole world turn upside down, that you could call him, and Dean to come to your rescue. Taking you in, and making you apart of the family. It was then, living in such close corners with the younger Winchester that your feelings for him started to emerge.
You tried like hell to suppress them, telling yourself that to it was not worth losing him or Dean for something that would never happen. No point in making a fool of yourself, when you were not his type. Guys didn't go for girls like you, girls with hips that are too wide, and thighs that touch. Girls who dress attire consist of 90% jeans, and the other 10% yoga pants, that have never seen a yoga mat.
No guys like Sam and Dean, guys that look like the Greek Gods that they do. Go for girls, who waist was the size 0, legs that go on for days, and who wear short skirts, and low-cut tops. You saw it first hand when going out to the bars with them. For the most part, you hid your disappointment well. You would either, go off, and hustle a few guys at the pool table, or chat up the bartender, then sneak out without them noticing to get back to the hotel or bunker before they could come home with their latest conquest.
-Sadly a few nights ago you weren't quick enough to get out of the bar before Dean caught you.-
"Where are you going?" Dean asks, grabbing your arm, to stop you from walking out the door.
"Just need some fresh air is all" you lie, not looking into those green eyes, knowing full well that if you do, you will break. Sam has been chatting up with his latest girl for about an hour now, a leggy, redhead, that looked all too eager to come back to the motel with him. Lucky you were able to snag a room a few doors down, so if you left now, you could be in your room, and drown out the sounds before they even start. Dean places a hand under your chin to raise your head up to look him in the eye.
"You know if you told him, his response might surprise you," he says, releasing his hand on your arm, and leaning up against the wall.
"What are you talking about?" you try to play stupid as if you had no idea what he was saying.
"Y/N, come on you can't con a con man. I know you have feelings for him." He says with a slight grin on his face.
"Your crazy Dean, and even if I did..." Dean grins to grow on his face, knowing that he is right, but you cut him off before he can say anything else. "Which I am not saying I do, what would it matter anyway, I am not even in his league." You say, then looking over Dean's shoulder, to Sam and the redhead, they have moved from the bar to a booth. They have gotten a lot closer in just a few minutes. Dean follows your eyes.
"Well...Sam is stupid if he can't see that he has a gorges girl right under his nose." Dean says turning is attention back to you. Your cheeks start to flush, by the compliment, Dean has always been the best older brother/guy friend that you could talk with.
"Thanks, Dean," you say, "but, really I am just going to go," you say, taking a few steps away from him, giving one last look over at Sam.
"You sure, I can walk you back?" Dean asks, not sure if he should let you leave by yourself or not.
"I am fine, go, have fun, see you tomorrow," You say, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, and then walking out the door.
-Cut back to present-
"Y/N...earth to Y/N" Sam's voice brings you back to reality. You look over to him, from the stove. "Where were you?" he asks with a slight laugh in his voice. Looking down to the pan, you see the meat is done, and you pull it from the stove.
"Sorry...not sure...how's the veggies?" you ask, shaking the memories from your head. Looking over to the counter in front of him, everything nicely cut and in piles. "Good job," you say with a nod. grabbing the bowl that has the dough, you sprinkle some flour on the counter to start needing it.
"What can I do?" He asks, after a few minutes of watching you.
"Umm...why don't you grab the baking sheets and some butter and grease them, so once I am done, we can split the dough," you say. Working in sync with each other you get the pizzas put together in no time. Placing them in the oven. "There, not so bad right?" you say, turning from the oven to him.
"Umm...no it was fun," he says with a slight snicker.
"What?" you question, wondering if you had something on your face.
"You just have..." he says, stepping towards you, closing the gap, and causing you to step back against the counter.
"What?" you cut him off.
"Here," he says, bringing his hand up to your cheek and lightly brushing the flower off. You can feel the heat coming off him, looking into his hazel eyes, you see the flex of gold and mixture of green and blues.
"Umm.. thanks...I am a mess" you say, looking down towards the ground, you know for sure he can hear your heart pounding in your chest, and you're sure your face is red. Get it together, you think.
"No your not," he says, causing you to look back up at him. He has placed a hand on one side of you, leaning into you.
"I should really get this kitchen clean up before Dean sees this; otherwise he might revoke my kitchen privileges," You say, trying to get some distance from him. That's what you need, just some air and everything will be fine you think. Grabbing anything in reach, to put in the fridge. Sam turns around to watch you for a second.
"Let me help," he says, grabbing the flour canister just as you do, the sudden jerk motion causes the lip to come off, and flour spills on you and the floor. "Shit sorry Y/N," he says, letting go of the canister.
Flour all over your shirt now. Not that it's a big deal, looking up at him, you can tell he feels terrible. "It's fine...but..." setting the caster down, you stick your hand in and grab some flour out and throw at him, "I think you're too clean," you say with a smile, flour now across his red flannel shirt.
"Okay, I guess I deserve that," he says, looking down at his shirt, casually brushing it off. Thinking that is the end of it, you don't notice until it's too late that he has picked up the sauce spoon, "Oh Y/N" he says before cold sauce hits your face.
"Oh it's on Winchester," you say, grabbing some more flour to throw. Causing an all-out food fight to ensue between the two of you. Running around the large kitchen, dogging flour, sauce, and the few leftover veggies being throw between the two of you. The tension is gone, and laughter fills the room. You accidentally go the wrong way around the island, and Sam's strong arms grab your waist.
"Come here," he says, pulling you close to him.
"Okay, truce," you say, seeing the sauce in his hand, and although you are already covered, you would like to leave with some dignity.
"On one condition?" He says with a smile, still holding you close to him.
"What?" you ask, getting your breathing back to normal. You can see the wheels are turning, and you're wondering what he has planned next.
"This," he says, then before you can even say anything, or process what is going on, his lips find yours. Soft and sweet, against yours, tender, not rush or forceful. You have thought about what his lips would be like, none of your fantasy could ever compare to this. Your pulling away with the need to get some air, his arms still wrapped around your waist.
"What...was that for?" is the only thing that your brain can formulate right now. Wondering where this is coming from now, and why? Did Dean say something? Shit is this just out of pity? Thoughts are swirling now, and he can tell your falling down the rabbit hole of self-doubt.
"Hey, Y/N, come back to me," he says, pulling you back to the present, looking into his hazel eyes you feel a calm wash over you. He gives you a smile, showing off those dimples, and it cause you to smile back, "there's my girl." Bringing his hand to brush a few strands of hair behind your ear. He leans in to kiss you again, but you pull back just slightly, "What's wrong?" He asks with a look of concern.
As much as you would love to have a make-out session with Sam in the kitchen, you need to know why? Pushing his arms away from you, his hands falling from your waist. "You didn't answer me, why did you kiss me?" You say, moving away from him, creating the distance that you didn't want, but knew you need, if you were going to hear the truth from him.
"Because I wanted to..." he says, with a bit of exhaustion and concern in his voice, "did you not want me to?" he says, turning the questioning back on you.
"No...God, you don't even know how long I have wanted you to kiss me," you say, now looking away from him and focusing your attention to the counter. "You don't know how long...how many times I have thought about it." Feeling your skin grow hot at the dirty and not so dirty thoughts that have crept in your mind over the years. The stolen glances over lore books in the library, the 'accident' touches passing each other in the halls or the small motel rooms.
"Really...thought about it? How I do against the fantasy?" he says, you look up to see him leaning against the counter across from you, his hands bracing against the counter behind him. A grin forming on his face reminds you of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. The little shit, you think.
"Fuck you, Winchester...so you just wanted to kiss me...well, you got it out of your system...guess you can check it off your list!" You yell, now seriously thinking that Dean told him. His grin falls from his face, and you can tell he's shocked by your reaction. Tossing the dish towel that you have in your hand, you decide to leave before you say something you will regret.
"Y/N...come back," Sam says, behind you, you can hear him start to follow you.
"I swear to God Sam, you follow me, and I will let you have it," you say over your shoulder. This cause Sam to stop in his place, and watch you walk down the hall towards the garage.
You pull open the door with such a force, that hits the wall behind it, and closes back on itself behind you. This cause Dean to look up from Baby's hood that he is working on.
"What's going on Y/N, dinner done?" he asks, but then noticing your stance, and the frustration on your face. "What did he do?" Setting down his rag that has grease stains on it, he leans against the car, waiting for you to talk.
You take a moment, that is what you need right now, a moment to get your thoughts in order before letting it all out.
"AHHHHHHHHH" you scream out, the buildup just finally gets to your mouth, and that is all that comes out. Pacing back and forth you don't know what is going on, why is this one comment making you this angry. "Your brother is an ass." you finally say, looking at Dean, his green eyes meet yours, still not talking, letting you take the lead on this. He was just so passive about it as if kissing me was just something that he woke up this morning and decided he was going to do.
"Did you tell him?" You ask, crossing the room, standing in front of him, he looks down to his hands, and that gesture just confirms it, "What the hell Dean!" You say, now feeling betrayed by your only friend. You turn away from him, the feeling of needing to hit something builds in you, looking around for anything, you grab a wrench out of the toolbox.
"Y/N...no come on put that down and let me explain," he says, concern over what your plans were for that wrench runs through his mind. Hoping that it wasn't going to make its way to his Baby.
"Explain" you grit out, dropping the wrench in the toolbox, and taking a seat on a chair.
"Okay well it was that night at the dive bar...outside of Austin on the way home from our last hunt...you had just left for the motel."
-Cut to flashback-
"Hey, where did Y/N go? we were going to play some pool?" Sam says to Dean, finishing up his beer. Dean notices that the redhead that Sam was talking to has left.
"She wasn't feeling it...where the redhead?" Dean asks, looking around the room to see if anyone catches his eye.
"She wasn't for me," Sam says passively, wishing that Y/N had not left, she always seems to cut out early, and once she leaves the night is never fun. "Y/N always seems to leave early," Sam states, wondering if Dean could give any insight.
"I don't know Sam...I guess..." Dean says, not looking at him, wishing like hell he would either get off this subject or figure it out. "Maybe she just gets tired of waiting."
"Waiting for what?" Sam questions, now very confuse by that statement, I mean he had just gone to the bar for a second to get some drinks, the redhead had come up to him.
"Ugh....Sam, I am not getting into this with you." Dean says, setting down his empty beer. He was too sober to have this conversation with him, and it wasn't his place anyways, Y/N had asked him not to say anything. He sees a blond over at the corner of the bar eyeing him and turns to leave to make his move.
"Dean tell me...What did I do?" Sam grabs his arm to stop him.
"Fine," he says, pulling his arm from Sam's grip, running his hand through his short hair, "but you didn't hear this from me." He looks around as if you might have come back, "she likes you." he whispers.
"Yeah I like her too," Sam says with a slight laugh, as if this is something new, you were friends and all.
"No...I mean she likes you...has feelings for you" Dean says, seeing that he still wasn't getting it, he lets out an exhausted sigh. "I mean, grade school, 'I like you, you like me'...she is in love with you...you idiot!" Dean yells, causing a few people close to them to turn around and look.
"You sure?" Sam asks, taking a seat on the barstool behind him, Dean follows suit, and waves to the bartender for another round, he was way too sober for this.
"As sure as she told me herself" taking a much-needed drink of his whiskey, "How do you not know?" he asks, wondering how his brother miss all the signs, not that Y/N was a huge flirt or anything. The late-night research sessions, taking up running that Dean knows she hates, and just in general how much they have in common, he was surprised his brother hadn't made a move yet.
"I guess...I don't know..." Sam just lets the information of Y/N having feelings for him, wash over him. He always had like her, and until they were living together and seeing each other every day did his feelings develop into more than just friends. He assumes that she wouldn't feel the same way, I mean she knew the life they lead, to fall for someone who life was full of danger and chaos.
"Well, she does...so what are you going to do about it?" Dean asks, finishing up his whiskey and turning to his brother.
-Cut back to present-
"I assume he was going to talk with you, what happened?" Dean asks, finishing up telling his story. Letting the story sink in, you're not mad at him, you should have never asked him to keep your secret. Really Sam had asked him, Dean didn't give it up willingly. "Y/N, talk to me...don't be mad at me."
"I am not...not at you", you say, making it clear that he is off the hook. Getting up you walk to him and give him a hug. Dean always gives the best hugs, pulling you close, that it's like a vice grip, but the pressure is good. Pulling back, you look into those emerald green eyes, they are looking back at yours, you can tell he concern about what his idiot brother said. "Ugh...it's nothing...I just probably overreacted" you say, putting your forehand on his chest.
"I am sure your not...tell me what happened," he says, kissing the top of your head. You turn your head so that you can re-account what happen, after finishing the story, Dean is quite, "well...I think he has more explaining to do...I think you need to hear him out." Pulling from Dean, you know that he is right, you need to hear it from Sam if he has any feeling for you or not.
"Yeah...think I will go find him" you say.
"I don't think you will have to," Dean says, looking over your shoulder to the door, you turn to see Sam standing in the doorway.
"Hey...pizza's done," Sam says sheepishly, not sure if he should be here or not.
"Oh...pizza yes!" Dean says, giving you another kiss on the head, "that is my cue to leave...you kids talk" he says, making his way across the garage and past Sam. You watch him leave, and once the door shuts behind him, the silence fills the room.
"Look," you both say at the same time, which cause you both to laugh awkwardly.
"Go," he says, walking towards you slowly.
"I was just going say, that I am sorry for the way I acted...you were just being honest with me...it just threw me just the way you said it...that you 'just wanted to'...that it was the only reason to kiss me" You say looking away from him and towards the floor.
"I know, that wasn't my best move. What I should have said...or what I want to say is that..." Sam has closed the gap between you two again, reaching for your hand, the touch of his skin with yours, cause the feeling of electricity flowing through you. "That I have had wanted to kiss you ever since you moved in, maybe deep down before that, but it was when you were here every day. I get excited to get up in the morning because it means I get to see you...that's when I knew I wanted to kiss you, that I am in love with you." He says, lacing his fingers in with yours. "I am sorry I was lip before..."
"Why didn't you say anything before?" You cut him off, wondering if he had feelings for you for so long why keep them a secret?
"Didn't think you felt the same way...I didn't think you would want someone with this lifestyle...you of all people to know how crazy this life is...especially for a Winchester." he says, "Why didn't you say anything to me?" he asks, now turning the tables on you, which is justified, you could have man up anytime and told him.
"Didn't think you had feelings...I didn't think I was good enough for you...or your type." You let the second part mumble through, causing him to slightly bend his knees and lean closer into you.
"I am sorry what was that...your not good enough for me? Where is this coming from?" he asks, lightly touching your chin and lifting it, so your eyes meet his, "you're perfect."
"Oh come on Sam...perfect is a stretch...have you seen the girls you go for...compare them to me...and you should see why I think that." you say, taking a step back, as much as you believe him that he does have feelings for you, there is still that voice in your head saying, 'yeah but, physically this isn't going to work out.'
"No, you can't compare yourself to them...those girls...yes, they were beautiful and nice, but they weren't who I was wanting to spend my time with. They weren't the girl that I was looking forward to hanging out with, movie nights, knowing that they had my back when it really counted. No those girls were not you, you're my girl, let me prove it to you." he says, reaching to retake your hand.
"Sam...I am just worried you're going to be disappointed, that in a week, your going to regret this and not know how to get out." You whisper, not like saying these words out loud but know they need to be told.
"Never, I am never going anywhere, as long as you will have me," he says, leaning in his lips so close to yours, but he doesn't kiss you, waiting for you to close the gap.
"Oh just kiss him already!" You hear Dean yell from the door frame. You tilt your head just enough to see him standing in the doorway, with a plate of pizza in his hand. "pizzas good by the way." he says with a smirk, taking another bite.
Turing your attention back to Sam, a small smile has formed on his lips, God this is happening, Sam Winchester and you, are a couple.
"You sure about this Winchester?" you ask him with a smile.
"Absolutely," he says, and with that, you close the gap and kiss him, deeply. Hearing Dean behind you groan in discuss, he informs you, that there no sex in the garage. To which you both reply,
"Jerk."