Fourteen
“Eve, wait,” I call, running out the front door. She’s heading down the row of apartments, going towards the stairs that will take her to the parking lot.
“Just let her go,” Kelsey mumbles from behind me. I turn around and meet her gaze. She appears to be jealous. “You have me now.”
Ignoring her comment, I shut the door and start jogging towards Eve. I call after her but she doesn’t turn around until I grab her shoulder. I pull her towards me and turn her until we’re face to face.
“What do you expect me to do, Fallon?” She asks, her eyes glassy. “Come in and join you? Be okay with the fact that you’re throwing away everything you’ve worked so hard to earn?”
“It was just a little weed,” I mumble, avoiding her eyes.
“Yeah, and then what’s next?” Her voice is getting angrier with each word. “Just a little meth?”
I open my mouth to defend myself but close it without speaking. I have no idea what to say. Whatever reasoning I had given myself that it was okay to go back to my old lifestyle is completely gone. Now it seems stupid, and I hate the fact that I know Eve’s right.
“I regret it,” I mutter, running my fingers through my hair. “I shouldn’t have done it.”
“But you did,” she responds sternly. “You have a child, Fallon. What about Tyson? Do you want him to grow up in a house full of drugs? Do you want his childhood to be full of memories of you strung out on drugs?”
I shake my head and Eve sighs. For a while, we stand there, avoiding each other’s eyes, not knowing what to say. Kelsey’s back only for a short time and already my new life that I’ve worked so hard to build is falling away in giant pieces.
“All I want is for Tyson to have his Mom around,” I whisper.
“You’re wrong.”
Eve catches my gaze.
“How am I wrong?”
“You want Tyson to have his Mom. But Fallon, you also want Kelsey to love you again. You want her, whatever the cost is.” I start to object but Eve shakes her head, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’ve seen the way you look at her, the way everything is different when she’s around. You’re doing everything to make sure she doesn’t leave again. It was never like that with me.”
“Eve, I-“
“No,” she snaps, holding up her hand as she cuts me off. “Save it. Whether you want to believe it or not, I’ll never be what Kelsey is to you.”
Eve turns around and quickly descends the stairs. Even though I desperately want to, I don’t stop her. Instead, I let her go.
“Fallon,” Kelsey snaps when I finally get back in the house. “What the hell just happened?” Her eyes are narrowed and if I thought she was jealous before, she’s twice as bad and angry now.
“We need to lay down some rules, Kelsey,” I say sternly, my anger growing in time with hers. She starts to speak but I raise my voice so it’s louder than hers. “We are never bringing drugs into this house again.”
“Fallon, I know you don’t like having drugs around, but you said it was okay for just a few times. Whatever Eve said out there shouldn’t change your mind. I mean, she’s just some stupid girl who-“
“She is not just some stupid girl!” I yell, my hands clenching into fists at my sides. Kelsey sinks deeper into the couch, her eyes showing fear. “Eve is an amazing girl, whether the fuck you think so or not! And what she said out there is true! We shouldn’t be bringing drugs into this house. We have a child and it’s about time we both grew up.”
“I know that. I came back for Tyson, Fallon. Just because I occasionally do drugs doesn’t change my feelings for him.”
As much as I want to ask if she came back for me, I clench my teeth together and focus on the more important things at hand.
“If you can’t live by this simple rule, get out.”
“Excuse me?”
“If you want to do drugs, get the fuck out of my house.”
Kelsey is speechless. The girl, who used to never let me get a word in, is at a loss for words. I think this is the first time that this has ever happened, and if it wasn’t for the circumstances, I would be extremely smug.
“I think you’re overreacting, Fallon.”
“I think you need to make a decision between Tyson and drugs, Kelsey.”
Again, I shut her up. Quietly, she rises to her feet and heads down the hall. When she reaches my bedroom, she walks inside and slams the door behind her.
I want to bring Tyson home but not until his mother has made a decision and I’m sobered up. Despite how sober I feel, as I head towards the kitchen and start laughing at the fact that I made Kelsey silent, I know I have a while to wait.
“What the hell are you doing?” I scream, as I walk into the bedroom. Kelsey’s frozen, my pipe in her hands as she sits on the edge of the bed, a few feet from the open window. Her hand hovers over the bowl of the pipe, the lighter lit but not yet hitting any of the crystal. A few feet away, Tyson is sitting in a baby carrier, sleeping soundly.
“Why are you so angry?” She yells back, immediately getting defensive.
“Do you think it’s okay to get high in front of a baby that’s sitting right in front of you? We have a baby now, Kelsey! I thought you were going to stop!”
She rolls her eyes as she flicks the lighter again and brings the pipe to her lips. It barely reaches as I snatch it out of her hands, crystal falling all over the carpet.
“That’s fucking expensive!”
“Watch your language!”
“Fuck off!”
Our arguing carries on until Tyson wakes up crying and screaming. Finally we stop. Kelsey, still angry and muttering to herself, doesn’t even try to stop him. As I rush to him, she rushes to the floor, picking up the wasted meth. It isn’t long before Tyson falls asleep again and Kelsey has put her things in a bag.
“Where are you going?” I whisper-yell as she heads for the front door. I practically have to chase her through the house.
“Out.”
“When will you be back?” The worry in my voice blocks out the anger.
Kelsey shrugs and walks out the front door. She slams it behind her. Despite everything that’s happened, she leaves me heartbroken. But more importantly, she leaves her very own son.