LIGHT IN DARKNESS
The following eight hours had been the longest and toughest I had endured yet. And that said a lot, especially after having fought death several times.
We left nothing on our agenda non-discussed and no problem or conflict unsolved. We even judged several cases that didn't even end, the rest to be continued after the Gathering. There was so much to do those eight hours were nothing but a joke. Everything piled up from seventeen years and unsolved by Ramos due to some laws even he couldn't interfere with was laid and discussed and agreed on. I even took some cases myself, judged and pronounced guilt or innocence several times, proposed solutions and evaluated projects.
I left nothing to be held against me, fulfilling everything just perfectly and to the last detail that some of the nobles, be it high or low-born, were stricken by awe.
Father did make the time, between all that was crowded, to give Lord Perdiel and his fellows a piece of his mind regarding the changes they had done to the law concerning Leon's family.
The Prelius circle didn't show any physical sign of pleasure or smugness, even when those things weren't missing in Leon's soul. Neither in Renva and Rhiannon's; but there was of surprise to it, being utterly clueless to what we'd talked under Siltheres's protection. And I suffered when I had to address the Shadow or stare at him as he talked, trying to keep my composure. I knew with no single doubt he was enjoying every bit of it.
But what kept my concentration occupied the most was trying to see through the endless minds surrounding me on who could be the traitor. I came out with suggestions, not results as everyone had their minds well protected from the magic inside the room. One look at Sorcha told me she was doing the same.
And finally, the gathering was over. Everyone had vanished out of the room, leaving father and me completely alone in silence. Even Ramos was called out, by Leon I noted, who most likely did it for my sake.
I watched my father lounge back in his seat, massaging the bridge of his nose as he sighed loudly.
"Not even seventeen years of sleeping prepared you with enough energy for this, I take it,'' I said, leaning my head on his chest as he draped an arm around me.
Sunset was nearing, the firmament already in washes of gold and amber, warm lights reflecting against his heavy crown and dark, golden hair.
"A millennia might never be enough,'' he replied, laughing a bit.
"I am not ready to have you out for another week and you have the audacity to wish for a thousand years, Your Highness?"
He laughed again and I savored the sound. Savored his warmth, the melody of his beating heart, how his eyes glowed as he stared at me, at the child he loved before she was even born. I took in all of him, terrified that I never knew when the last time would be.
"I am not ready to be taken again from you, either."
My breath hitched and I couldn't, even if I tried, hide the pain. He felt it, heard my heavy intake of air, saw the pain in my eyes. He redressed in his chair, pulling me with him.
"Celestia?'' he questioned voice low and filled with not only fear but terror. He felt it in his guts, through that bond tying my Sun to his. "Celestia,'' he repeated, hands trembling so violently his muscles might have been rendered to shreds from the intensity.
"There is a way to win the upcoming war,'' I whispered, breathless. There were tears in my eyes as I beheld his face, pale and gaunt and bleached from any bit of life.
He knew.
"But it will cost—"
"No.'' His voice shook, his entire body rocked with fear. His eyes, bright and loving seconds ago were saturated with ache and pain and devastation and so much grief I wondered if even the heavens were pained from how he looked. "No!"
It was worse than what I had imagined in my head over and over. Worse than anything I could have prepared myself for. It was devastating.
His hands were on my face, trembling and shivering as he held it. As he stared at me with eyes that mirrored a soul breaking so hard, shattering so badly, that it killed me slowly on the inside, tearing me bit by bit.
"This isn't real,'' he stammered, trying so hard to deny. Begging so hard for it to be false, a mistake, a misunderstanding. But he knew it wasn't.
"It is," I mumbled as I felt his hands tightening on my face as though doing so would protect me from that death. He screamed and I felt power surge through the room, the sky, the world in its whole.
It echoed again and again and again, filled with so much grief the pain itself could kill. He was crying, mighty tears trailing down his face, soaking his shirt.
I pushed his hands and placed his arms around me as I pulled myself, knees on his lap, face hovering above his, and face in my hands, whipping gently his tears.
I was all he had left. I was his family. His past and present, but not his future. I wouldn't be there for him, wouldn't hold his hand when he would stand in front of his subject who would cheer his name. Who would cheer for my king, for the man I had wished to know my entire life.
And even as it had been so little—mere days and weeks—since we reunited, I loved him terribly. It was irrational, but there was something in me, a part of my soul that clicked in place when he first opened those eyes and pulled me in his arms as I cried on his newly awakened body. Maybe it was the love he had in his soul, irrational as mine was, and maybe it was the undoing of the Five, to allow us to feel this way. To compensate for the lost years.
And I wished this love didn't exist just to ease the pain. Wished that I was nothing more than a silhouette in his life even if it meant killing each day together a bit more just to relieve his heart.
He had lost a wife and wasn't even given time to grief her. Now, he was about to lose a daughter, too.
I lowered my hand as I removed his crown with a bit of magic, pressing my lips to the top of his head as he buried it in my neck, inches above my still beating heart.
The violence of his shaking didn't ease.
''I love you," I breathed, mouth still pressed to his hair, taking in his scent. "Forever. I will love you forever, even when I am nothing more than dust and cinders. Even when you can't see me, I’ll always love you.''
All of them, I would hold them in my heart, whisper their names as I die, and would carry them with me even after the end.
He didn't reply. The sky outside turned chaotic, winds howling, the sound of trees trashing echoing so hard it didn't feel like we were so high in the sky.
"They are cruel," he whispered at last. I knew who he meant, and didn't have the strength to tell him to stop. They might be cruel to their last drop of ichor and power, but they still heard us and could make him pay hard for his words.
I lowered one hand to his nape and rubbed it gently, wishing I could erase his sorrows. Wishing I could end the war. Wishing I could save him--us--from whatever the Gods had planned.
"He is cruel, for taking her then planning on taking you from me." His voice was small, so light, his body so frail in my embrace. He wasn't the powerful, legendary king sung about around campfires. Wasn't the ruler who had so much power he defended a continent by his own. He was a broken father bent over like a child, heart shattered by grief until I feared I couldn't fix it not even with all the time of existence.
He swore dark under his breath before his hands gripped so tight his fingers would surely leave bruises on my waist. I didn't mind it, instead, held him tighter.
''Is this the price?'' he asked, voice hoarse. "Is this the price he forced on us for making us name you after her? So he can break me just like he was broken when he watched her die?"
Clouds formed as the sky turned dark, and I knew those weren't born from my father's powers.
"Would she still have loved him if she knew he was obliging his immortal grief on a father that hadn't enough time to enjoy his life with his daughter, just like him?"
I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, as lightening tore through the skies above our hands. And I knew it was born from his throne far, far away in the firmament, ripping through all the distance between the stars and our castle.
Aether wasn't pleased. He might as well haven't flinched as the king cursed his name because of anger or pain. But her, his own daughter, he would shatter the entire continent if not more, just because he dared bring her name away from praises and loving words.
The sky grumbled, thunder echoing so loud my heart vaulted in its place. I could hear children crying far below, could feel people panicking at the sudden change of weather.
And then, King Aragon Armedes pulled back and lifted his eyes to the sky. There was no fear in them, but maybe a bit of defiance even. The heavens quieted. Thunders stopped growling, lightning stopped surging, and then, rain fell down.
Soft, gentle rain that washed the entire capital. It didn't drench us, the magic shielding us from the downpour.
My father's face softened ever so slightly as he stared as the parting clouds. Whatever was left of sunlight filtered though it in gentle waves. And for a moment, I believed it was Aether's way in telling us that there was hope.
That there was another way.
The chiming of a bell echoed around us, signaling there was little time before some of the nobles came back. I stared at my father, at how powerless he looked, at how pale his face was. He stared back.
"I-I—" he didn't finish before I cut him.
"I know,'' I whispered as he leaned over to kiss my forehead, my cheeks, my chin, the top of my head. He needed time. Alone. And so did I, just to sort all of it. I took his marked hand and kissed his palm then his left cheek and lingered a bit before I pulled back.
There were still duties to be done, so I whispered, "Ramos and I will handle the rest." Only because locking myself in my room right now would break me even more. Would extinguish the bit of fire I still grasped onto to fight and survive the storms within me.
He nodded eyes vague as though, for a moment as I spoke, he forgot he was king. Forgot he had come back from a long fight and had work piling over his head. I didn't blame him.
He squeezed my shoulder before he vanished, leaving me alone and the echo of words in my soul. Words I knew were whispered from far past what my eyes could see, there where Aether sat atop his throne.
There is no rancor.
There is no wrath.
His heart shall be cared for,
And light shall guide your path.
The voice, holy and powerful and all at once peaceful and deadly, silenced and I vanished, powers that weren't mine taking me to my rooms. I turned to Nayal who followed mere seconds later, face lined with shock.
"I apologize, I did not have time to call for you thus referred to magic," I lied. And wondered if she knew I wasn't saying the truth, if she felt that otherworldly power that brought us here. I didn't care. "I need to refreshen and change."
I turned to my walk-in closet and she followed one step behind. She didn't bring up the stains left by tears on my face. She either was too shocked to note them, or wise enough to keep silence.
Thus she obeyed, and all along, my mind kept drifting back to those small rays of light piercing through the clouds. To those words that still echoed in my thoughts. To how father ever so slightly calmed when he saw them.
And maybe, just maybe, there did was another way.