𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯 · 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥 ¹

𝟏.𝟐𝟐

『 𝐍𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮.  
𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞,
𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞,
𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞 』

- 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 -

𝙏𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙚 𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙛𝙞𝙩𝙩, 𝙎𝙖𝙢 𝙏𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙯

⋯⋯⋯

     Nausea woke me up, feeling the impulse to open my mouth but nothing came out. I opened my eyes, aware of the fact that I wasn't lying in the forest anymore but rather moving up and down. There wasn't a part of my body that wasn't screaming in pain. I furrowed my eyebrows, watching the trees past me as I tried to move my hands and legs but they were tied. That can't be good. I moved my eyes around, finally landing them on my carrier: a horse.

I tried to move but I was also strapped down to the animal. I turned my head towards my right and saw one of the delinquents walking behind the horse with his hands bound together with a rope that was tied to the saddle, just like me. Ok seriously, what's going on? I looked towards my left but could only see the back of the person riding the horse.

    "Hey! What's this? Put me down!"

    "Looks like our little fighter has woken up."

    "Who are you? Where are you taking us? What–"

I turned my head to see what had been the cause of the loud thud behind us that had interrupted me, seeing the kid on the ground. He must be exhausted. Who knows how long he's been like that. The rider stopped the horse and got down from it. I couldn't see who it was because I couldn't move and they had chosen the other side of the horse, where my head wasn't, to get down.

    "I'm sorry, I can't walk anymore." The delinquent rose his head. "I'm tired. I need water and rest."

    "I only need one of you alive."

Without hesitation, the rider took his blade to the guy's neck and cut through it. I didn't even have time to react, only able to scream as I watched the guy fall on the grass, his blood quickly forming a pool around him. The rider turned towards me. He was a Grounder, obviously, but he seemed familiar.

    "I'm the leader of the army you and your people just killed."

So, the plan worked. That doesn't explain how the fuck did I get here or why I am still alive.

    "How am I still alive?"

    "I found you lying at the entrance of your camp with a pile of ashes over you." His tone was mocking but for the sake of my sanity, I decided to ignore it, not that he toned it down. "You were lucky the fire didn't get that far or your own people would have killed you."

    "Why did you take me?"

    "I know you were at the bridge when your leader went to speak with Anya. You will be useful for the Commander. She wants to know everything about you and then she wants revenge."

Revenge. That never ends well.

    "I should be dead anyway," I argued unable to check for myself my wounds. "I got hurt and the wound was deep."

    "I made a tourniquet to your leg and wrapped your stomach. You'll die, but you'll live to answer to the Commander first."

I rolled my eyes as he moved the get back on the horse. Two wounds? When was I hit on the leg? Nothing made any sense to me at that moment. I turned my head as the horse started to move again, away from the kid whose name I didn't even know, his eyes still open but his life long gone. I sighed. I should have died. Why didn't I die? My luck.

     I didn't know how long I had wandered through the woods. I had lost sight of Bellamy when the fire started and we both began to run faster. Part of me feared he'd have tried to go back for Sam, but even if he got there, she'd be long gone. Leaving Sam behind hadn't been easy, but it was what we had to do as much as Bellamy kept trying to go back for her while we were still together. We didn't know how far the fire would reach and even Bellamy had to admit that carrying someone would slow him down.

I heard voices coming from a clearing in front of me, so I moved carefully towards them. There was a body on the floor and a Grounder on a horse with a prisoner. A girl. She moved her head towards the dead body and I was able to see her face, even if I could have recognized her voice now that I was closer: Sam.

Happiness took over everything else for a moment. Until I realized Sam needed my help. And fast. I patted myself, seeing I was still carrying the gun I had used in the camp, checking that I had bullets before I made a move. He was just one Grounder and I had a loaded gun, it couldn't be that hard. I got down to the clearing making as little noise as I could.

    "Hey! Let her go." I pointed the gun at the Grounder. "Now."

They had started moving away, the horse coming to a stop as the Grounder turned to look at me. Sam's eyes landed on me, opening her mouth, ready to say something but the Grounder was quick to put a gag to her mouth before getting down from the horse and facing me. His eyes landed on my gun and he rose his hands. I had it.

    "Put the gun down or she dies."

Before I could press the trigger, the Grounder put a knife to Sam's throat, holding her head up, seeing that Sam was trying to scream something. Her eyes looked terrified. I need to help her. I lowered the gun, not knowing what else to do but having one thing clear: I was not leaving Sam behind again.

Once my gun was on the floor and away from me, the Grounder let go of her and came next to me. He punched me in the face and tied my hands together, bringing the rope with him and attaching it to the horse. Sam looked disappointed and I thought I knew why until she explained to me how things worked with the Grounder while he fed the horse and himself, taking off her gag.

    "Whatever you do, don't stop walking. He will kill you."

    "I will eventually fall from exhaustion, Sam. That's how it is. I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

    "It's ok." She smiled at me. "I have a plan."

    "Mind filling me in?"

    "He only needs one of us. If I die, you live. Easy."

    "No." I shook my head. "I won't let you die for me. If Bellamy finds out, he will kill me."

    "What Bellamy doesn't know won't hurt him." She brushed my concerns away as easily as I had spoken them out loud. "Besides, Raven needs you."

Before I could react, she started screaming at the Grounder, making him angrier with each comment. She even managed to loosen her ties a bit and almost fell from the horse. The Grounder seemed to have seen enough and cut her ties. Sam fell flat on the floor, unable to move due to her wounds and ties around her arms and legs. I wanted to move to help her but the Grounder pointed a knife my way as he moved to her, so I was left to watch as he pulled her up and away from the horse. Sam grunted but I wasn't sure if it was from annoyance or pain.

    "You know how this goes." The Grounder put the blade to her neck. "I only need one of you alive. Any last words before I kill you?"

    "You can't kill me." Sam's voice was steady, almost mocking in a way, leaving both me and the Grounder startled.

    "What do you mean I can't kill you. I have a sharp knife to your neck, already cutting it, you stupid little girl!"

    "You can't kill someone that's already dead."

Sam smiled, her eyes on me for only a second before she looked up at the sky. That had to be the blood loss and the hit on the head from the fall talking.

The Grounder forced her to stand straight on her knees. I'd have sworn he had killed her, watching his hand starting to move, slashing her skin as I screamed when a gunshot took over my voice, the Grounder's eyes moving behind me as he started bleeding from his shoulder. I turned around, seeing Bellamy standing at the other side of the clearing, rifle in hand, shooting the Grounder again as I threw myself to the floor.

    "Let her go!"

    "She's dying." The Grounder laughed, Sam falling to the floor as he let go of her. "I don't have to let her go; she is already leaving."

Bellamy tried to shoot again as he got closer for a clean shoot but he was out of bullets. He took a knife and moved towards the Grounder, getting into a fight with him as I glanced back at where Sam was, but she wasn't moving. It couldn't end like that.

I heard something fall beside me, turning my head to see Bellamy's knife on the ground, screaming at him to run and save himself but he didn't listen, he threw himself at the Gounder again. He was so tense and angry I thought he could have exploded at any second. The Grounder left his blade and chose to use his hands, hitting Bellamy one time after another until he fell to the ground, almost covered in his own blood.

    "I killed her and now I will kill you."

The Grounder reached back for his blade, decided to place it through Bellamy's heart as he just stood there. I doubted he had anything else in him, watching as he moved his head to the side, his eyes looking for Sam. Gunshot. The Grounder fell to his side, dead, my eyes moving towards where I thought the shot came from, a second later seeing guards coming down to the clearing.

    "Bellamy, are you alright?"

I coughed, trying to sit up, watching him rolling on his stomach. He wasn't that far away not to have heard me, but I repeated myself nonetheless. He still didn't answer, standing up and stumbling as he ran towards Sam, falling on his knees next to her.

    "Sam? Sam? Come on. Don't leave me."I moved closer to them, fearing the worse, hearing as Bellamy's voice broke. "I already lost you once, I won't be able to handle that again. Wake up, please. I need you."

I might not have liked Bellamy or considered him a friend, but watching him there, moving his bloody hands over Sam's face and pressing on her neck, I felt for him. I had seen how painful it had been for him to leave her behind. I was sure he'd have stayed back with her if I hadn't grabbed him and pulled him with me. I had never seen Bellamy cry until the moment he looked back towards the dropship as we ran away from it. And now, finding Sam had made it but watching her practically die again in his arms? That had to be pushing him over his breaking point. I was seeing it happen.

I saw a figure appear near me, turning around and allowing them to set me loose, knowing they were talking but not hearing anything as my eyes landed on someone behind them: Dr. Griffin. I ran up to her and pulled her with me, pointing at Bellamy and Sam.

    "You have to help her, she's dying."

I pushed Bellamy to the side as we got there so that Dr. Griffin could inspect her. He didn't even flinch, his eyes glued to Sam as he took her hand in his. I realized he had ripped his shirt, putting pressure over the wound on her neck; his hands were covered in her blood, and desperation was written all over his face.

    "She is barely breathing." Dr. Griffin was quick. "She is still alive, but we need to get her back as soon as possible."

Bellamy didn't hesitate.

     Once I heard Dr. Griffin state that Sam was alive, I didn't waste another second. I got her in my arms after cutting her ties as carefully as I could, allowing Abby to place her head correctly on my chest so that the wound on her neck would not get worse. She ordered a couple of guards to escort us, rushing through the forest after her, thanking whoever was listening for keeping Sam alive after I left her, praying they could keep her alive until we got to the Ark so that Abby could save her.

    "You have to save her."

    "I'll do my best." Abby glanced back at me. "She seems to have lost a lot of blood not only from the wound on her neck but the one on her stomach too. That one seems deep; I don't know if it touched any vital organs or–"

    "You have to." I didn't want to hear it, cutting her off before she gave me more excuses, promising myself to end the Grounders on my own if Sam didn't survive this, whatever it took. "She can't die."

I can't let her die.

I looked down at her. She was so beaten up, I could barely believe she was still alive. Hold on a little longer, Sam, come on.

As soon as we got to where the Ark had landed, Abby showed me where to go, shutting down anyone that got in her way until we got to what she called Medbay, pointing at one of the tables and asking me to place Sam on it. She was quick to get to work, giving directions to a man named Jackson that had been getting everything prepared for Sam's surgery after Abby contacted him on our way there.

    "You should go now."

    "And why exactly would I do that?"

    "This is going to get messy, could take a long time." Abby made me take a step back as Jackson started to rip Sam's clothes off. "She may not make it."

    "Make sure she does or–"

    "Bell..."

Her voice caught me completely off guard, thinking I had imagined it as I looked at her. She is awake. She is alive. I urged Abby to the side, standing next to Sam, feeling Jackson's eyes on me.

    "Sam, you are okay. I'm with you, alright?" I placed my hand over hers. "You are going to live."

    "Do not make her talk–" Abby started patronizing me again, trying to push me back when Sam slowly opened her eyes, looking around until she found me.

    "Let me go."

    "No, no! Sam!" I screamed as she closed her eyes. "You can't leave me. Sam!"

    "Her heart is stopping, we need to start CPR..."

Jackson's words did nothing to ease me, feeling my breathing fastening as I watched him start the maneuver over Sam's chest. No. This was not happening. I felt the tears in my eyes as Abby gave me a final push away.

    "Bellamy, please, get out now. I promise I'll do the best I can, but you being here is only making things worse."

I watched as she got back to work, Jackson still compressing Sam's chest; it was too painful to watch. I couldn't do it. But I had to know. I took a couple of steps back but stayed inside the room, every muscle in my body tensing even more as Abby run for the defibrillator. No. That couldn't be Sam's end. Fight, Sam, please. I didn't move my eyes from them as distressing as it was watching as they ripped Sam's shirt and pressed the paddles to her skin and her body convulsed. Come on, Sam.

    "She's breathing." Jackson's voice was full of satisfaction, but that couldn't match the relief I felt myself. "She's alive."

    "For now." Abby was quick to force us all back from the clouds. "We still have a lot to do." She moved the defibrillator back, her eyes landing on mine. "Bellamy, get out." Her eyes softened just a second. "I promise we'll try our best and will call you if anything happens, but there's no reason for you to see this." She sighed. "It will get..."

I didn't need her to finish that sentence. I understood. I took one last glance at Sam. If it weren't for the ripped clothes and the blood and dirt, she could've been sleeping peacefully back in my tent. I wished we were.

I stood outside; the sun was shining and the people that had come down on the ship were all chatting and smiling around, but none of that mattered to me. Sam was hurt because I had left her behind. I sat on a rock right next to the door to Medical, burying my head on my hands before realizing they were covered in her blood. Almost dried. I hit the floor beside me, letting out a painful scream, caring very little for the attention it landed me. I ran my hand through my hair, looking at the door to Medbay. I won't move from here, I'll wait for her.

     I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. What now? I slowly opened my eyes. The light was blinding after all the darkness I had been immersed in. When my eyes accustomed to it, I didn't recognize where I was, so I started looking around, panic settling on my chest. That was when I saw him. Bellamy. He is alive. He was sat beside me, looking tired and somewhat tense. What could have happened now?

I looked down at my body: I was covered with a thin sheet, but my arms were over it; I had some cuts on both arms and an IV line on my right one; Bellamy's hand was wrapped around my left one. How did we end up like this? I was so confused. I wanted to move but I knew that would wake him up and I wanted to let him rest as much as possible; I knew he hadn't had a good rest in a while and if he was asleep here, that meant he thought we were safe. I stayed like that, looking at him, at our hands, and back up at him for who knows how long.

He suddenly moved in his sleep, shifting his position and squeezing my hand. I could only laugh at the scene in front of me, trying to keep it low but Bellamy still heard me, moving his head to the side, slowly opening his eyes and landing them on mine as I smiled.

    "Well, hello there sleeping beauty."

    "How are you feeling?" He smiled.

    "A little dizzy and very confused." I looked around for a second. "How was that dream of yours going? You looked tense. Is everything alright?"

    "You can't be seriously asking that question right now."

    "Why? I don't remember much honestly." He pulled his chair closer to my bed as I furrowed my eyebrows. "Mind filling me in?"

    "What's the last thing you remember?"

    "Finn shooting, then I fell from a horse... I remember I couldn't move." I put my free hand on my temple. "A knife to my neck. Finn screaming. Pain. And then everything went black." I could feel a headache settling in but I ignored it. "Wait, is Finn alright?" I let go of his hand, trying to sit up. "Where...?

    "Hey, take it easy." He stood up, making me lie back down. "You can't move, Sam, you've lost too much blood and you are still halfway through the transfusion. You are too weak."

    "Fine. I won't fight you then." I smiled as he sat on the bed with me this time. "But tell me, is Finn alright? I tried to save him..." I looked down. "If he's dead–"

    "He is alright; he went back to the dropship to find the others."

Bellamy smiled pulling my head up to meet his eyes. His eyes were soft looking at me. His gaze made me feel safe for some reason. I let out a breath of relief.

    "That's good. I'm glad. What else? Where are we? Whose blood is this?"

    "You don't remember anything else after that?" He looked half-relieved, half-disappointed. "Anything?"

    "Not really, why? Did anything important happen?"

    "Once I brought you here and Abby–"

    "Abby?! As in Clarke's mom? She is alive? What–" I tried to sit up again and immediately ran out of air.

    "Hey, take it easy. I've told you, you are too weak right now and not all your wounds have been taken care of yet." He placed his hand on my waist and helped me down again. "Some people from the Ark have made it here. I'll tell you about that later, okay?" I nodded. "So when I left you on the bed and Abby was about to start taking care of your wounds, you woke up for a couple of seconds, you remember what you told me?"

Did I say something extremely stupid? My eyes widened and I felt all the heat in my body rushing to my face. I had no clue what I had said but I was ready to apologize.

    "I don't know what you think you told me." He smiled for just a moment; if I had blinked, I'd have missed it, watching him turning serious again. "But you asked me to let you go, to let you die."

For fuck's sake, why is he so dramatic about something I must have said like a billion times.

    "You're giving me a heart attack over that?"

    "Why would you tell me to let you go? Why would you give up?"

    "Listen, since I don't recall any of that I'm just going to say I had made peace with death and was ready to leave." I tried to cross my arms over my chest, remembering I couldn't as I felt the IV line, scoffing instead and dropping my arms to my sides. "I don't know why I said it out loud, alright?"

    "You told me to let you go. You knew it was me there, you said my name."

    "Stop being dramatic, the one who almost died is me."

I shoved him to the side, seeing as he was ready to start an argument but his time was cut short as the door to the place we were in opened. Two guards came in carrying someone on a stretcher. Raven. She is hurt. I tried to move but Abby came into the room that second and scolded me.

    "Samantha, you are too weak and I haven't finished taking care of your wounds."

    "And why exactly haven't you?" Bellamy, squeezed my hand as if he knew I was ready to move but wanting to keep me on the bed as he stood up from it. "I know you could have."

    "We don't have enough supplies located right now, landing was rough. They told me on the radio that Raven was coming and that she was badly hurt–"

    "Save her." I cut her off. "I don't care if I'm wounded. You have to save her."

Bellamy was about to say something when the guards moved Raven from the stretcher to the bed, a movement too quick and sudden that made her scream in pain. The guards looked surprised as if they had thought she was dead. I didn't mind what they told me, I took the needle from my arm slowly for I was not in the mood to get more stitches, and moved from my bed towards her.

    "You idiots!" I screamed at them. "Why don't you just throw her to the river for what's worth?" They looked both angry and confused at me, one of them even moved his hand towards his back to take out his weapon. "Oh, please, how brave of you trying to fight me now."

    "Leave her alone, don't you see she's hurt?"

Bellamy stepped between the guards and me, pulling me back but quickly letting go of me, a chance I took to move towards Raven's bed. She was looking sicker than when we caught the Grounder's virus. My heart hurt as I felt the rage burning my skin.

    "Raven?" I took her hand in mine, trying not to show how angry I was. "Hey, it's me. It's Sam."

    "Sam?" She opened her eyes, a smile quickly taking over her lips but I could tell she was really in pain as she flinched. "We thought you were dead. I thought..."

    "Bellamy saved my ass."

    "He did." Raven chuckled weakly, her eyes drifting behind me for just a second before moving to mine again. "I'm so glad you are alive."

    "I'm so happy you aren't dead either."

    "I'll soon be."

    "No, you are not dying here today." I made sure my voice left no room for discussion. "Doctor Griffin is going to take care of you, alright?" I realized Abby was next to me now so I turned to her. "You will save her, whatever it takes. You need my stitches? You take them. My blood? I'm right here. My marrow? You got it. Tell me what you need and you can take it from me."

I couldn't lose Raven. She had been a pillar of my sanity since we made peace with our past actions and started developing a friendship. My life in camp since that moment had revolved closely around her. I felt tears in my eyes, fear clouding my judgment as the possibility of losing her crossed my mind. I didn't know what I'd do if Raven died, but a cell was not going to stop me this time.

    "Sam–"

    "No, Bellamy." I moved my head to the side, recognizing his apologetic tone. "I can't lose her. Not her."

He placed a hand on my shoulder as Abby turned her gaze towards me and told me she'd do her best. She didn't have anesthesia, so whatever she had to do, Raven was going to feel it. I wanted to stay there with her but she banned me from doing so, asking me to go somewhere else to rest.

    "It won't do you any good staying here, Samantha. Get in one of the rooms on the ship and rest. I'll find you once we are done here, alright? We'll continue then with the blood transfer."

    "I'm fine."

    "Samantha. Leave."

I bit my tongue, trying to stay calm, reluctantly agreeing to leave but moving back to Raven for a second, promising her to be back as soon as they allowed me. I hated not being able to help. I hated knowing Raven was in pain and there was nothing I could do.

Jackson put a bandage on my arm over where the needle wound from the IV line was. He pointed at where my boots were, which prompted me to ask him about my clothes because walking around wrapped in hospital sheets wasn't exactly my idea of fashion. It turned out that I had no clothes because they had had to cut them through to get to my wounds and place a defibrillator on my chest. I had actually died. Or come close to. Jackson offered me a white gown. I only put it on because there weren't any other options, otherwise, that thing would have stayed where it was.

I glanced back at where Raven was for a moment before I exited the place, sighing as I moved slowly. I could feel my neck and stomach wounds had been treated and sewn but my leg itched and my back was sore. I had no clue when I had landed most of the cuts in my body but I was grateful that the worst wounds were taken care of. Because of that, I couldn't move too fast; also because I was drained from energy but there wasn't anywhere I had to go. I also felt sleepy from the sedatives and painkillers.

    "I should be there." I paused my walk. "What if Abby needs something she put on me?"

    "Sam, stop." Bellamy stood in front of me for he had come out with me, Abby having kicked us both out. "You can't save everyone."

    "I try my best, you know." I eyed him, raising an eyebrow.

    "I know." He smiled. "I have a little experience with your spontaneity and that love for pain that you have."

    "Oh please," I rolled my eyes, punching him lightly on the upper arm. "As if you were any different."

    "You are too slow, Sam, and I'm getting tired of being a turtle."

    "Fine, leave me alone. I can manage my–" Before I could finish what I was saying, I found myself in his arms before he started walking again carrying me. I found it hard for a second to find my voice again, eyeing him for a moment. "If you wanted to carry me and play prince charming, you could have just asked, you know?"

    "I will next time." He smiled as I moved my arms around his neck. "Am I hurting you?"

    "I'm perfectly fine. I'm not made of glass." I chuckled.

    "I think we can all agree you aren't."

    "Besides, you would never hurt me, Bell." I smiled as he avoided my eyes, realizing I had managed to get to him. "Huh, look who's embarrassed now."

    "Yeah, but don't tell anyone." He glanced down at me for a second. "I can feel the heat on my face and I'm not enjoying it."

I tried to hold back my laughter as I nodded, promising him not to let anyone know he actually had feelings and wasn't a robot. Bellamy busted out laughing too, feeling his laughter on my body as he held me tighter not to drop me, which caused me to stop holding back and laughing as well. I had no clue where he was going but I also couldn't find it in me to care, allowing him to take me wherever, looking around us to the place that was now our new home.

I could definitely get used to this.