"I'm done crying over her," you sang along to the zen music. You were taking a shower thinking you were home alone but Tom didn't go to his tutorial today so he was home early. He smiled when you sang really loudly and your voice broke.
"Hey! I'm home!" He knocked on the bathroom door.
"Hey! Did you get the role?!" You turned the shower off and started drying. Tom leaned against the hallway wall opposite the bathroom.
"Ah yeah I did actually," Tom scratched his neck.
"That's great!" You opened the door and gave your friend a hug. "I get to see you in action once again," you punched his arm.
"Where are you off to?"
"Nowhere," you shrugged and emerged later in a semi-nice outfit.
"No one wears a sundress and flats at home...you invited him over didn't you?!" Tom snapped his fingers. You acted confused.
"I haven't the faintest clue what you're talking about," you brought out a whole chicken hat was marinating in the fridge.
"Your pants are on fire, Y/N. Come on, Hiddleston's coming over for dinner isn't he? You always make a roast for boys you like,"
"I make roasts for you all the time," you tried disproving his theory.
"Yeah. Because you're in love with me," you laughed at his joke. You liked him once a few years ago and he never let's it go, "this is too much. You already said y wouldn't pursue him,"
"I'm not! It's just tea with my Professor and roommate...who has to suddenly leave straight after," Tom was practically begging by being so close to you in the kitchen. He kept taking your apron away every time he spoke and you kept taking it back.
"Don't try this-"
"I'm not trying anythin-,"
"You're going to get hurt-"
"I'm not going-"
"He doesn't...want you," you didn't take the apron back. You stayed silent, trying to think about why you felt like you could keep pursuing him. Why was he so desirable? Why would you want to put his job and your degree at jeopardy? You swallowed the lump in your throat, accepting the truth once again. Tom felt bad saying it but he didn't apologise, you didn't expect him to either. It was the truth and there was no denying it. Tom panicked when you didn't respond and kept cutting vegetables. You sniffed and wiped your nose. He felt his heart in his stomach. He made you cry. He knew it wasn't the first time either but he was hoping that last time would be it. Little did he know you often cried over him. Your best friend. The forbidden fruit. Maybe that's why Thomas was so alluring.
"Cut these up for me? He'll be here in um..yeah soon," you sniffed again and went to the bathroom to make sure your face was okay.
"Babe.." Tom reached out for you but he couldn't explain himself. He's never been this protective and he didn't want to ruin anything between you two. So he kept his mouth shut and chopped his veggies.
You emerged a few minutes later looking completely different. Skinny jeans and a nice floral top. Tom thought you looked gorgeous still but you felt a little bad about yourself.
Tom could tell. You weren't smiling as often as before and weren't talking to him about your day. You lit some candles on the dining table but blew them out and just put a flower as the centrepiece. It wasn't as attractive as you pictured it but it was still nice. Nice enough. "Shit I forgot the wine," you groaned.
"I'll go out and get some. Don't worry,"
"No, I'll go. If Hiddleston shows up just offer him an appetizer!" You rushed to get your purse.
"What appetizer?!"
"In the fridge, you bellend!" You shouted from the front door. Tom smiled at the insult.
*
Tom heard a knock on the door. Oh no, you were still out. Which meant that that was Thomas. He walked to the door slowly and opened it, trying to be welcoming.
"Hi. Come on in," Thomas was carrying a bouquet of flowers and wearing a nice tweed jacket and slacks. Tom knew you'd crazy for him, especially the way he smelled.
"Hi Tom. I brought over some flowers, Y/N mentioned they were her favourite," uh oh, Tom thought. Tom took them with a smile.
"Uhh, would you like a beer? She's just gone out to get some wine for ya,"
"Oh how nice of her. I guess I'll wait," Thomas was being the perfect guest yet Tom felt so uncomfortable.
"Hey! I accidentally bought 6 bottles! Hope it's enough," you opened the front door and walked to the kitchen where the men were standing.
"Every time," Tom muttered and took the wine from you. Your eyes lit up seeing Thomas in the room.
"Hi! I'm so happy you could make it," you told him. You wanted to go for a hug but just went for a lingering handshake. "We're having chicken, I hope that's alright," Thomas followed you to the kitchen counter and you spotted the bouquet. "Oh, did you bring these?" You spoke while trying to open one of the wines. Thomas quickly jumped to your side to help.
"Ah yes. You keep mentioning it whenever we touch on scenes,"
"That obvious, eh?" You quickly smelled the flowers and fought the urge to grin. You couldn't believe he paid attention so closely. "Thank you and thanks for opening that. It gets harder every year,"
"No problem," Thomas' grin was shining. He felt really comfortable around you. Unlike Tom, was was currently spying on you like a pervert in the shadows. He excused himself and went to his room to text Harrison but when he wouldn't respond he decided to call him.
"Pick up, pick up, pick up,"
"Hey! What's up?"
"Oi! Come to mine. Now,"
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Y/N's got her sexy professor over and I need a buffer,"
"Mate I'm already at the pub. I'm about 2 pints down-"
"Fine, I'll pick you up!"
"Ugh, okay," Harrison agreed. Tom rushed back to the kitchen, you two were still laughing and talking. Part of him didn't want to leave but Harrison had a special talent at making everyone involved in a conversation. Tom didn't want to third wheel tonight.
"Hey uh. I got a call from Harry, he doesn't sound too good I'm just going to go pick him up," Tom pick ed up his keys. You were surprised, you didn't realise you'd have any alone time with Thomas tonight especially after what Holland said earlier.
"Oh. Alright, see ya," you responded chirpy. Tom left but entered again with a stern expression.
"I'll be back." And then shut the door. He raced to his car, checking his watch every time he hit a bump in the road. The next 5-10 minutes were the most stressed out he's ever been. Harrison was taking his time as well.
"I'm here, where are you?" Tom asked.
"Oh okay, I'm inside. I'll come out now I just gotta pay. I'll be like 5," Harrison was relaxed and cool, the total opposite of Tom right now.
"Fucking. Hurry. Up," Tom beeped his horn. Harrison skipped out the building like a kid, smiling at his driver.
"Hey, how's it going?" Harrison left the passenger door open while putting on his seatbelt.
"Oh my god. Knowing how hot she is for the guy they're probably already undressed!" Tom panicked. He was half right, you were hot for the Professor especially when he smelled musky and sweet.
You two were sitting at the small dining table, you swapped out your fake centrepiece for his lovely fresh flowers. You two were talking like friends who haven't seen each other in a year.
"So what was the inspiration behind Lottie?" You poured Thomas his second glass of wine, asking him about his little film. He bit his lip, not entirely sure.
"Um. I watch a lot of...things," he laughed.
"Things?"
"Cinema, TV, people. And what I noticed is the desire for a partner. Usually a film will have the main character as the one hoping for a partner but I was bored of that storyline and wanted to show the other side. What goes on in the life of the desired? When confronted by Ben, we see Lottie act accordingly rather than out of character. Because the audience knows her story,"
"And Ben's just like this creepy lovesick dude trying to get in her pants?"
"From the audience's point of view but from mine he's just been in love with this girl for years and he can't see that she's happy the way she is," you nodded at his passion for his work.
"Should I expect any Oscar's?" You joked. He smiled too.
"I'm afraid this film is only going to be in a short independent festival. Just participation awards," another pause. You swirled the wine in the glass and took another sip. He looked so good tonight you couldn't believe you took off your dress to change into jeans. But Tom was right, Hiddleston doesn't want you-well he technically never said it. He just said don't tell anyone. He knew this too, you two were practically eye fucking each other across the table. Just as you leaned in the front door slammed shut.
"Heeeee's heeeeerrree!" Harrison came in shouting. You stood up and sighed. Harrison engulfed you into a bear hug, lifting you up and twirling you around drunkenly planting kisses on your cheek.
"Okay okay, welcome home dickhead. Put me down," you lead him to the dining table and made him sit. "He's pissed!" You whispered at Tom, who just nodded. Harrison found a small bottle of whisky in Tom's glove box and helped himself.
"Do you have a toilet?" Harrison yawned and scratched his chest, he didn't even notice the man sitting next to him, "oh hey mate, Harrison," they shook hands. Thomas smiled and introduced himself. "Aah. 'The professor' congratulations are in order I believe. Not everyone gets Y/N into,"
"Film!" You covered Harrison's mouth and he began licking you but you didn't care, "I hate repetition so it's a miracle I'm in a film!" You grinned then frowned at Harrison, "go to the toilet," you ordered, "I'm just going to check the roast, I'll be right back."
The remaining men watched you leave. Thomas put his glass down. "I'll fill that up for ya," Tom took the glass and ran to the kitchen. As soon as he entered he was slapped on the arm.
"Why is he here? I thought you took him home!" You were still whispering. Tom realised he didn't want to be anywhere in the house but knew that if you and Thomas were left alone he didn't know what the outcome would be. So he gave you the glass and a bottle of wine and pushed you out the kitchen.
"You go mingle. I'll cook!" He avoided the question altogether. You didn't fight, all Tom had to do was serve. You sat by Thomas on your four person table.
"It should be ready soon, if he isn't out in 5 minutes I'm going to beat him with a spoon," you joked.
"You're very close. How long have you known each other?" Thomas had a sip of water not wanting to drink too much tonight.
"Since high school. He caught me crying over a boy and we made this weird pact that kind of solidified our friendship,"
"Pact," Thomas spoke as matter of fact, so it was true, he thought. You don't do relationships. Every day he discovered something new about that made you eerily familiar to his character. You assumed it was a question.
"Yeah it was just a promise not to let myself get too attached. It's worked so far,"
"So you haven't had heartbreak in..?"
"A few years, yeah," Thomas kept quiet, shocked at how someone could go that long without feeling heartbroken, "I know it's not healthy. But I'm not a psychopath, I promise. It's just easier to stay single. But I'm not actively staying single, hint hint,"it just happens to work out in my favour. I'm usually not...stimulated enough,"
"Intellectually?" Thomas guessed. You paused but nodded.
"And they're shit in bed," you both laughed.
Thomas was shocked with the similarity to Lottie. Probably not personality but definitely the situation and circumstances. Boy in love with girl, girl just trying to live life. It was obvious to Thomas from the way Holland talked about you during his audition that he was totally in love. How couldn't you see it? "Shall I help with serving?" Thomas asked but you objected and told him you'd bring it out. When you entered the kitchen Tom was balancing dishes on his arm like a chef. The plates didn't have anything on them.
"Can you stop pissing about? The chicken is probably dry," to your delight, it wasn't that bad.
"That was delicious. What spices did you use?" Thomas asked at dinner. Harrison was constantly burping, ruining the nice atmosphere, much to Toms delight and your dismay.
"I used-" you began but Harrison's massive earthquaking belch interrupted.
"Oof, excuse I me," he rubbed his chest. You waited a moment to see if he was finished and it seemed so.
"Paprika, turmeric, cumin-" another huge belch occurred but this time it was Tom. He smiled whereas you sighed.
"Oh my," Tom giggled and even went for a high five but you just stared at the boys. You were trying not to lose your shit. You needed a good night with Thomas and these weren't helping.
"Would you boys like some ice cream?" You asked calmly, Tom knew it was a trap but he couldn't warn his inebriated companion.
"Yeah! Oh love I'm craving a sundae,"
"Then you should probably go to Macdonalds and get one,"
"Yeah! Tom can drive,"
"I really can't," Tom struggled to come up with an excuse, "I've had too much wine. I'm sure we have some ice cream in the freezer."
"I'm afraid we don't. I checked earlier," your acting skills were on par because Tom was doubting himself given that he bought some yesterday, "can you please buy some? Also, take him home. He needs to rest," you gathered the dishes.
"Please. Let me help, you've been a wonderful host. The least I could do is wash up," you didn't answer Thomas but you didn't object. He followed you to the kitchen while Tom grumpily picked up Harrison and took him home.
He sped down the motorway since Harrison lived about 10 minutes away but knowing you, if you were working your seductive magic, you'd already 'accidentally' gotten water on your shirt exposing your boobs to the guy. Tom couldn't think about your nude form right now! He had to focus on the road.
"When are you gonna tell her man?" Harrison was leaning against the passenger window.
"Shut up,"
"Seriously just do it. I'm sure she likes you back,"
"She doesn't," Tom sounded certain. Harrison rolled his eyes, tired at how you two kept wanting each other but sabotaging it as soon as those feelings creep up again.
When Tom arrived home, he found you alone. Which was unexpected. He assumed you would drag Hiddleston into your room an don't come out for the weekend. But there you were, not twenty minutes later in your pajamas eating ice cream out the tub. He knew you were lying, he also knew you were upset if you were eating straight from the bucket.
"Hey," he walked caution and sat close you. You smiled seeing your best friend.
"Hey...sorry I lied," you put some ice cream in your mouth and began talking, "I jus wan-ed a spen some time alone," then you offered to him. He took it and had a spoonful.
"Did he leave?"
You nodded, smiling softly, "yes," you bit your lip, thinking that you were finished talking, "I may have kissed him and he rejected me, just like you said. He didn't want me," Tom took a breath in to speak, "don't say I told you so. I knew it was a long shot I just...hoped-" a tear filled your eye but you mustered up the courage to keep it down. Tom gave you a cuddle on the couch, he felt bad for you but he felt safe. You didn't want to delve into the details of the night.
"You really don't need to wash up. You're our guest, we have a dishwasher...it's name is Tom," you joked. Thomas smiled and rolled his sleeves up.
"It's no problem. It's been a while since I had someone cook for me,"
"Yeah?" You leaned against the counter, watching him scrub.
"Yes. I too am a bit unlucky in the whole relationship spectrum of my life," he admitted.
"That's alright. Relationships don't make life...life," you shrugged.
"Yeah. I just always assumed I'd meet someone by now. I've had a few girlfriends but, like you, often ended on my terms," his honesty made you feel something in your chest. Not necessarily a pain, just something that you haven't felt much of before. It made you want to leap into his arms and give him a big hug.
You two continued talking while he washed.
"Thank you for dinner," Hiddleston grabbed his coat.
"Thank you for cleaning. Not all my guests are as chivalrous as you," come on Thomas, take the hint. There was a pause and it seemed so long because you two felt the undeniable tension in the room but in reality it was only a few seconds. You smiled in defeat and opened the door for your guest.
"Rehearsal Monday?"
"I'll see you then," Thomas planted a lingering kiss on your cheek and one on your lips. Letting the wine take over. The kiss didn't lead anywhere yet you were still flustered, "um-I'm sorry," oh no, "you're a lovely girl," oh no, "I just don't think-"
"I gotcha. Don't mention it. Drunken kiss. I'll see you Monday," you cleared the air.
"4pm. Make sure Tom shows up," Thomas walked backwards out the door.
"See you," you smiled and shut the door. Releasing a small sob before breathing normally.