Slowly sitting yourself up, cautiously trying not to move a muscle and stir the man next to you, you watched as his breathing became steady and deep. You had to do this quickly. One weak leg at a time, you slowly stood up from the bed, glancing over at Dean before tiptoeing over to the other bed. Quickly you grabbed the phone from the tangled sheets and prayed there wasn't a lock on it. Tapping the screen on, you noticed it was the girls phone and you sighed in relief when the screen unlocked. Thinking for a second, you typed in Sam's number and messaged him nothing but the code to the tracker. You didn't have time to write anything else, and you knew Sam well enough to know that he would check it out and realize that it was you who sent the text. After deleting the message and the history, you slid the phone in between the mattress and frame before once again laying slowly back down on the bed next to Dean. You let out a sigh of relief, knowing that it wouldn't be long before this was all over and you could focus on getting your Dean back. Giving up on staying awake, you laid down on your side, and looked at the freckled face that was inches away from yours. Thinking about all the good times you had, your eyes became heavy, steadily shutting as you drifted off to sleep.
You stood in front of the bathroom mirror, your body wrapped in a soft towel, as you ran the brush through your wet hair. It had been a long and hard day, you thought back on watching Sam and Dean get into that sleek black car and then speed off to God knows where. You felt stupid, letting yourself get attached to a man that you would probably never see again. The knock on your front door, broke you from thoughts and you set the brush on the sink. You looked at your phone and seen that it was 3 am. Who the hell would be knocking at your door at this time of night? Silently making your way to the door, you got to your tippy toes and looked through the peephole. Your heart instantly began to race as you turned the door knob and opened the door. Those green eyes staring into yours, made your heart skip a beat.
" Dean what are you... "
Before you could finish your sentence, his lips crashed into yours, taking your breath away. One of his hands gripped onto your waist, pulling you flush to him as the other hand tangled itself into your wet hair. Your mind went blank as your body took over and gave into the touch that you thought you'd never feel again. Grabbing onto the collar of his plaid shirt, you backed up, pulling him further inside. Without breaking his lips from yours, he lifts his foot and pushes the door closed. You told yourself that you wouldn't let this happen again, but the way his hands roughly pulled at the towel while his calloused fingers ran over your still damp skin of your neck and shoulders, you were overcome by not the want, but the need to feel him. To have him feel you, every inch of you.
" I couldn't leave without doing this once last time. " He finally spoke, his words broken between deep pants of pleasure.
" Why do you have to leave at all. " The question came out of your mouth without you even realizing.
He didn't answer your question, but just kept placing rough kisses down your neck, stopping at the top of the towel.
" Take it off. " He demanded.
You didn't even think twice before grabbing a hold of the fabric, unwrapping it from your body then dropping it to the floor.
Your leg bumping against his, snapping Dean out of his deep sleep. He slowly opened his eyes and looked towards you, watching you wiggle and press your legs together as your mouth fell open, letting out a soft moan. He didn't have to see inside your head to know exactly what had you coming undone in your sleep. He watched as your hand made its way to the middle of your shorts and your breath immediately started to quicken as yet another moan slipped out from deep in your chest. Dean couldn't help but smirk when your head turned to face him, your eyes still closed.
" Dean..." He heard you groan as you completely let go and came while you slept.
That confirmed what he had already known, it was him that you were thinking of. Closing his eyes with a smirk of satisfaction, pleased with himself, that he made you come without even laying a hand on you, he drifted back to sleep.
The sun coming through the cheap curtains hanging in front of the window, caused your eyes to blink open the next morning. Slowly sitting yourself up, you noticed that you were covered in sweat and the spot next to you on the bed was empty.
" She's up. Have sweet dreams darling? " Dean smirked, coming into the room, a tray of coffees in one hand and a brown bag in the other.
You didn't say anything, but raised an eyebrow to him as he came over to stand in front of you, holding out the bag and a coffee to you.
" Black with three sugar right? Oh and I also got you a blueberry muffin. You've got to eat something. "
You hesitated before reaching out for the coffee and setting the bag on the bed next to you. You took a long drink of the hot coffee and let out a relaxed sigh. The memory of the dream you had been in came to the front of your thoughts. Was it all his doing? Did he even know?
" Why don't you take a shower after you finish that, we are going to hit the road for a bit. "
You nodded your head, trying to figure out where all this was coming from. He brought you breakfast...remembering how you took your coffee...and what your favorite muffin was. All of this after forcing you to watch him last night. Torturing you while holding the life of another in his hands. After taking a quick shower and pulling on some clothes that you had gotten from your bag, you stepped back into the room to see Crowley sitting at the table.
" Morning sunshine. " He grinned.
You glared at him, then followed Dean outside, moving to the back seat of red muscle car . Dean pulled Crowley's arm away from the door handle as he went to get in the front seat.
" Nope, back seat. "
Crowley looked at him, figuring he was joking. He furrowed his eyes while watching the hardened look remain planted on Dean's face.
" You're kidding right...you want me to sit in the back seat like a bloody child! "
" You're not the one I need to keep an eye on. I know you sure as hell ain't going anywhere. " He said as that signature smirk came across his lips as he looked at you.
You couldn't help but smirk a bit yourself as you pushed past Crowley to open the door and slip inside. Served him right. Crowley took one look at Dean, then like a pissed off child got into the back seat and slammed the door. He didn't tell you where you were going but it never crossed your mind, as the familiar rock song came on the radio. You watched Dean reach over and turn up the volume as he started to sing along.
" And I'm free...free falling. " He sang out of key as he strummed his fingers against the steering wheel.
You couldn't help the small smile growing on your lips, remembering all the times the both of you would sing at the top of your lungs, as you just drove with no purpose, not a care in the world. A week had gone past and he didn't say more than a few words to you each day, but it was the little things that had you reminiscing about the old Dean. Always looking out for you, making sure that you had anything that you needed. Even snapping back at Crowley when he would cuss out his snide remarks. For a minute you had almost forgotten that you were not riding along with him by choice. It made you think about Sam. Did he even get that message? Did it help him track you at all? It was around 10 pm when the three of you walked into the full, musty bar. You sat down at a table, in the back corner away from the loud crowd of people at the pool table.
" Beer or Whiskey? " Dean asked you, as you sat across from Crowley.
" Whiskey please. "
You swore the smile that came across his face was genuine and soft before he turned and walked over to the bar. Thinking about Sam and when or if he would show up, you couldn't help but look at the big door you had came through.
" You seem nervous my dear. Awaiting for sweet Samantha to burst through that door and finally rescue you? " Crowley said, breaking you from your thoughts.
When you saw the tracker in his hands, your heart skipped a beat. Shit. He seen that worry on your face as he slipped the tracker back into his suit jacket while he grinned.
" Don't worry, your secret plan to escape is just between us girls... for now. That is of course, as long as you continue to behave. I would hate to see what Dean might do to that pretty little face of yours if he finds out. "
You took in a deep breath, steadying yourself as you glanced over at Dean at the bar. Your heart racing while you tried to figure out why he hadn't told Dean yet. There was no way in hell he was doing it out of the kindness of his black heart.
" Why wouldn't you just tell him? " You shot back.
" I have my reasons sweetheart. "
He just grinned as Dean made his way back to the table, drinks in hand. You pulled on a fake smile as he set your drink in front of you. You looked toward the opposite side of the room where a door labeled 'Ladies" stood.
" Thanks. I've gotta pee... I'll be right back. " You quickly replied.
"You have one minute." Dean stated as they watched you walk to the restroom and the door shut behind you.
" You've gone soft over the past week Dean. When was the last time you killed something? You can't be doing that well. " Crowley pointed out.
Dean glanced at him as he put the glass to his lips.
" I'm good thanks. " Dean lied, he tried not to think about the red mark on his arm and the things it made him feel, that itch that he could never scratch.
" Come on Dean, you can't lie to me. I see it in your eyes, all the built up rage...let it out. " Crowley pushed.
Dean shook his head as you came back to the table and sat next to him. He watched you closely as you sipped on your drink, keeping your gaze down to the glass. After you had finished your drink, you needed another, especially now that Crowley was holding your one shot of being saved.
" I'm going to get another, you guys want one? " You asked.
" Double. " Dean smirked.
You nodded your head as you moved over and sat down at the bar waiting for the bartender to get to you. Waiting, you seen a short blonde haired man stand just a little too close to you for comfort, and you could smell the liquor coming off of him.
" What's a pretty thing like you doing in a run down place like this? And all by yourself too. " He said, as his hand started rubbing your back.
You turned quickly so his hand would fall from your back and looked at him sternly.
" Actually I'm not here by myself and even if I was, I would rather it be that way. "
" Oh come on baby, just let me buy you a drink. "
Before you had time to answer, you seen his head smash against the bar, his beer breaking as it hit the floor. You stood up, seeing Dean's hands around the man's throat.
" The lady said that she wanted to be left alone, are you deaf. " He growled.
The man couldn't even respond before Dean's fist collided with his face. Once, twice, and after the third, the man's face was a bloody mess. Before Dean's busted hand hit his face again, you grabbed his arm, stopping it mid swing. With a blink of an eye, Dean's other hand wrapped around your throat and pinned you to the bar. Your heart froze and as you looked into those dark eyes and for the first time in a week, you were terrified of what he would do next. Snapping out of his rage as he saw the terror in your eyes, his hand released you and he took a step back. He took in a deep breath, as the man hobbled off towards the exit and locked his eyes with yours.
" Time to go Y/N. "
Your heart raced as you made your way outside past the startled onlookers, a grin appearing on Crowley's lips was seen from the corner of your eye. You got into the backseat and didn't say a word the whole way back to the motel. Once inside, you sat on the bed and just looked at him, the rage bubbling up in you at what you just witnessed, as he ran his hand over the scruff on his face.
" What? He was a douche that got what he deserved. You can't deny that. Hell I've seen you do your fair share of damage to assholes like that." He growled, his voice deep and rough.
The rage took you over, pushing you to your feet and stood face to face with him, looking up at him. The adrenaline rushed through your veins as the words you had been holding back poured out.
"Not like that Dean, you almost killed him. I just don't know how you can do this."
" Do what? "
" Pretend that other's lives mean so little to you. Dean, you used to save people... and now... "
His eyes locked with yours, knowing exactly what you were going to say.
" Go ahead, say it. " He sneered.
" You're a monster Dean. " You said loud and clear.
You watched as his jaw tightened and his bottom lip twitch slightly as your words hit a nerve. Seeing the rage take him over, he picked up the tv that was on the little dresser and smashed it to the floor. His actions starting you to stumble back away from him in fear.
" You want to see a monster? "
You watched as he now picked up a lamp from one of the night stands and threw it against the far wall of the room, then flinging everything else off the table, his chest rising and falling deeply with every movement.
" You think you are so self righteous standing there judging me, but I've seen it in you too. I know you've felt it too as you've watched their lives draining from their eyes after a kill. So tell me y/n how are you not a monster "
Your hands were shaking as his eyes locked onto yours again and you couldn't bring yourself to speak as you felt tears welled up in your eyes. You shook your head, as you move swiftly into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Sitting on the floor with your back against the cold tub, you let out a deep shaky breath. You shuddered at the banging in the room, as he started throwing things around the room again. That man, that was not your Dean in any way shape or form. He terrified you and that feeling you had not even 6 hours earlier had completely disappeared. He was starting to unravel, you could see it in his eyes, and you knew that you needed to help him more than ever at this point. But right now, you needed to keep yourself locked in this bathroom and away from the monster that was in full rage just behind that door.
The tears you had tried to hold back now flowed down your face as you looked up to the ceiling, hearing Dean's anger growing with every crash of another object broken.
"Please...Sam...anyone...save me."