Happy Saturday!
Here's the first chapter, angels, and I truly hope you enjoy it! So, my plan was always to finish Dexter's story before this book came out so there's no crossed wires, but that hasn't happened. I'm trying my best to get Love's Game finished as soon as possible, but there won't be many spoilers in this book so I'm hoping it works out!
I totally understand if you want to wait until Love's Game is done before reading this story.
Please let me know what you think! 💭
Love, Holly 💗💗💗
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BETTY
I never imagined it this way. Not in a million years, but it's happening, and I can't be mad at it. The noise outside the medical room is slightly distracting as Laine and I sit on the hard, makeshift bed, watching the timer like a hawk. The pregnancy stick is in my hand as it has been since I awkwardly squatted over the toilet in the tiny back room, the walls practically touching my shoulders when I tried my best to balance.
"I can't wait much longer," Laine says, swinging her legs back and forth nervously.
I'm much the same. The wait for this moment has been far too long, my mind convinced it would never happen. "Just to warn you. If this thing says positive, I'll probably be passing out again."
Laine giggles. "At least it's a soft landing this time."
I start to smile, reaching behind my back to rub the sore spot near my shoulder blade. "I swear that stage was made of freaking metal. The hit woke me up as soon as I fell down."
"You sure have your moments, bumble bee. I think you've definitely stolen the show," she picks her phone up, gasping out loud, "it's almost at six minutes. We missed it. Look! Quick!"
My hand turns over the stick, eyes searching the tiny screen, heart booming in my chest. Pregnant. I whimper, then burst into tears, handing the stick over to Laine to watch her do the exact same thing as me.
"Oh my god," she laugh sobs, reaching her arms around my shoulders, pulling me so we're face to face in a tight embrace.
"I can't believe it," I bury my nose in her shoulder.
"I told you it would happen. Bailey too. I'm so happy for you, Bee. Congratulations. I love you," she squeezes me so hard it pulls a small grunt from my mouth.
It's true. Whenever I texted to tell them that the test was a fail, they'd encourage me not to give up, Bailey reminding me how hard they tried for years to get the triplets. I'm impatient when it comes to starting a family, having watched my nieces and nephews growing up so fast, Edward and Delilah announcing that they're going to try for another baby soon.
It's three years since Jason passed away and Beau is almost six now. Like all of the Larsson kids, I love them to death, always seeming to bond with Beau the most. He's a little charmer with his newly trimmed short curls, one dimple and a laugh that always means he's up to no good.
"I love you more," I reply, turning to the door when it opens with my manager, Rick appearing with my phone in his hand.
I left it in my handbag in my dressing room, not wanting to lose it back stage before my performance.
He strides my way. "Your husband is a fucking lunatic. Answer the phone to him to stop him blowing mine every two seconds."
I bet he's worried sick. It can't be nice knowing he's thousands of miles away, watching me pass out on national television to not be able to do anything to help. Finn's a hot head and this won't be doing his fiery temper any good at all.
"I'll call him," I say, taking the phone, before touching Ricky's arm, "I'm sorry if he was mean. You don't deserve that."
Ricky's temper dies down. "It's a good thing he's so hot, or I'd be calling out his ass on Instagram, posting all the screenshots of him swearing at me."
I wince, "I'll tell him to apologise."
"Yeah, yeah, you feeling better, babes?" he says, leaving the room when I tell him I'm feeling myself again.
Laine jumps down from the bed, bending down to tie the lace on her Balenciaga trainers. "Are you going to tell him now or when he flies back in a few days?"
"I want to tell him in person. It doesn't feel right to mention he's going to be a dad over FaceTime," I press accept on his phone call.
"I'm fine, Finn," is my greeting, hearing his breathing down the line.
He growls, "Some bastard could've told me that then. I've been calling non stop with no answer."
"I'm fine, baby, you don't need to worry or shout down my ear. Are you okay? What time are you training today?" I try to change the subject, knowing he'll calm at the sound of his job.
Finn is doing incredibly well, training fighters from all over the world, making more than a name for himself. Trainers are hitting him up to work for them, Sky Sports news have given him a permanent segment to talk all things MMA and he's even branding out into merchandising with his own sportswear line- he's smashing it, and I couldn't be prouder.
At the sound of training, he calms down. "I'm not due in for a couple of hours yet. How can you collapse and be okay? Did you hit your head?"
"No, my head's all good and I haven't eaten since this morning, so it's probably that," I reply, smiling through the lie.
"For goodness sake, are they working you too hard? Surely you can stop off for a fucking sandwich," he's shouting now, Laine raising her eyebrow as she hears it all.
The swearing is going to have to stop once we have children. I'm not raising foul-mouthed cuties, no sirree.
"Management are angels to me, you know that, have you woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" I reply.
"Yes," he growls, it sounding like he's pacing the floor. "I woke up to my cock being the size of a courgette on steroids and my wife wasn't there to help me out and to top it all off, you give me a heart attack by hitting the deck mid song. It's not a good day for me."
There's no satiating him anyway. Whenever we have sex, he's sniffing around me for more not even ten minutes later. It's tiring, and very fun. My guy is a fiend.
"I'm struggling too. It's just not the same without you," I whisper, wishing more than anything that he's here, living the best moment of our lives together.
He sighs. "It won't be long. Is someone getting you food?"
"Laine is going to get us takeout. I'll probably leave early anyway. Get back to the hotel and chill out."
London traffic will be mental at this hour, making me wonder if getting the tube to Oxford Street will be quicker. It's not very often that I get recognised in the bustle of a city, people too focused on where they need to be or having their phones plastered to their faces.
"You'll be asleep by the time I finish," he says.
Being apart is hard for us both, the separation often causing arguments that last for a couple of hours before someone offers an olive branch and things go back to normal.
We're still working this lifestyle out, even five years down the line, we can't seem to settle. I'm hoping that now I'm pregnant, we can both take a backseat on our careers to enjoy life and the joys it brings. We'll never get these moments back, so I want to capture it all.
I nod when Laine tells me she's nipping to the toilet, not liking the disappointment in his tone. "I can set my alarm if you tell me when you're going to get back. We can FaceTime or Skype."
"You need your rest, honey, we can do that tomorrow."
And now, I'm left feeling disappointed. It's a cycle. One minute he's grumpy because we haven't been able to find a spare five minutes to say hello and the next, I'm upset because I'm missing his voice. It's hard to balance it all.
"Okay, so long as you promise to send me pictures of your day. I like it when you send me videos of your workouts," my grin is showing.
Especially, the topless ones.
Finn chuckles for a beat or two. "I'll bare it in mind when the videographer asks if I want to let them spray oil all over my skin for effect."
My throat closes up. "You say yeah, right?"
"No," he barks, "I ain't letting that stuff ruin my clothes. Oil never comes out and it's slippery when you're trying to do floor work."
"I'm imagining your skin glistening by the way," I giggle.
Finn chuckles back. "Of course you are. I'll let you go so you can get back to the hotel and tucked up in bed. Give me a text when you're there."
The door clicks open to reveal Laine who's carrying two big Feel Unique bags, beauty products spilling out of both. Party bags are one of the best bits when you come to award shows. You can get some really cool stuff, most of it not out for the public to buy.
"I'll probably have to wrap up here first, but I'll text you, don't worry. Love you, big guy."
I can hear the smile in his voice. "Love you more, Curly. Love you most."
I lower my head, going all shy for no reason. "Have you been watching Rapunzel without me?"
Finn clears his throat. "Never."
"I don't believe you."
Disney films are our thing. We've watched every one ever made, rewatching our favourites multiple times. Finn always cries at the sad parts, hating it when I bring it up to people. I think it's important that he's in touch with his emotions, he thinks I'm dramatic.
"Okay, maybe I did watch it, but it was only because they were playing it on the plane. It made the journey go quicker," he huffs.
"Did you cry?"
Laine is searching through our goody bags, looking up, intrigued. She mouths, "Disney?"
Spit sprays from my mouth as I try to trap the laugh in my throat. "Finn, you'll never guess what my sister just mouthed at me."
He stays silent.
"Disney," I start to laugh harder when my sister covers her mouth to hide her amusement. "Baby, you're so predictable these days."
Finn lets out a string of expletives. "You two are always fucking ganging up on me. I swear if we get twins and they're boys, we're doing the same to you."
My belly starts to flip with excitement, desperate to share the news with him. Twins. If I dare to dream, I can imagine him chasing two boys around the garden, growling like a lion as he swoops them up into his arms, to carry them superman style back in the house. Or maybe I can see him laying awkwardly in our daughter's bed because she can never sleep without one of his bedtime stories.
It's bliss.
"Bring it on. I read somewhere that boys always favour their mama, it'll be three on one," I reply.
"Then I hope we have girls because I read somewhere that they favour their dad, it'll be three on one," he's laughing through his words.
"Either way, we need to be a team because at the end of the day, we're trying to keep a human alive until they're twenty something and decides to leave us."
Finn huffs, "On a serious level, I may well lose my hair if we have a girl. I hope you like your men bald."
"I like my Finn anyway I can get him," I say.
Finn aw's down the line, while Laine fake gags, sticking her finger in her mouth. "Good one, but I know how attached you are to my curls."
It's true. Ever since he decided to grow out his hair, Ive been obsessed with touching it. In bed, during sex, when we're chilling on the couch, or even when we're queuing at the supermarket, my hands are attracted to every strand, fingers twirling around each tight curl to pull it straight until he winces and tells me to get off. I can't help myself. It's a problem.
"They're my weakness."
"And don't I know it," he laughs, the sound of a door slamming, echoing down my ear. "Right, I'm letting you go for real now. Bye."
I hurry towards Laine when I see a load of Jeffree Star lipglosses. "Bye."
I'm drawn to the metallic shades when I toss my phone on the bed. "I love that rose gold shade. It's hot."
Laine unscrews the lid to swatch it on her hand. "Imagine it on your lips in a music video. The lighting would make everything pop."
I check inside the bags. "You fancy taking these back to the hotel?"
"Yeah, shall we uber eats for when we get back? I fancy a big greasy pizza with fries," she stands up, the front of her sparkly dress looping at the front so you can see her boobs.
"Erm, Laine, maybe don't lean down in front of anyone expect me. You're going full frontal," I lower my voice.
Gasping, she puts her hand over the fabric to push it towards her chest. "I forgot that I took the boob tape off, it was making me itch."
I could relate.
"It's the worst and it leaves awful strip rashes. I always opt out of the sexy dresses for that reason," I reply, helping her pack up the stuff, leaving the medical room to find my dressing room.
Laine spots my name on the door, pulling out her phone to take a quick picture. "I'll never get bored of seeing your name on stuff. It's insane."
We head on inside and pack up our things in here too. I change out of my dress, slipping on my velour leggings and baggy top, slinging my coat over my shoulders to keep me warm. It's icy out there, winter truly in full swing.
Laine stuffs a handful of cheesy puffs in her mouth. "I need to eat better. I'm getting a right belly on me."
"It's harder to eat right when you're busy, though," knowing it must be getting to her because she's mentioned it a few times.
"Don't make excuses for me," she eats more crisps, eyes wide.
I carry on packing. "I won't then."
I unzip my hold-all and pile in the other bags brands donated for everyone who attended The Brits. They're good ones too. "I think I'm going to balloon by the end of this pregnancy."
Laine lets her eyes roam around my body. "Nah, your frame is so slight, you'll stay smaller. I didn't put on a great deal with George if you remember. Mama never looked overly pregnant in pictures either, except when she was carrying us. Even then, you wouldn't think there was two of us inside."
My hand goes straight to my stomach, Laine's hand following when she joins me on the floor. "I'm going to be a mummy, Laine. A real life one."
She grins. "I can't wait to meet whoever's in here. They're so loved already."
I'm on cloud nine. It feels as if I'm dreaming and I'll wake up at any moment, realising it isn't real. When you wish for something enough times, it's hard to believe it when it comes true. We're so blessed. Not everyone is this lucky.
The sound of my phone pinging from coat pocket wakes me slightly. It's a picture of Finn laying on the bed, hair in all directions as he smiles into the camera, so relaxed and happy. It's nice to see, making me realise that he's living his dream right now. It's all he's ever wanted.
Laine peers over when I tilt the screen in her direction. "That's your baby daddy," she giggles.
I stare at his kind eyes, falling so hard, harder than I have before. "Yeah, it is."
...
Thank you for reading!!! ❤️❤️❤️