It was the utter darkness and he was alone in a place, but had no idea where it was. There was no one else aside from himself, and he felt that terrible feeling of loneliness again. Like when his parents and then Hoon had left him.
How he wished there was still someone beside him - someone he could give all of himself to and be given all of themselves, just the same.
Through the darkness, he wandered alone and felt his heart weeping in pain. Slowly there appeared a small ray of light somewhere, far away from him, and with some hope, he approached it.
But the more he ran forward, the further the light got away from him. Then slowly the light transformed into something else - something more defined. It turned into a form of human being. He screamed to make that person stop. He was hurt and agonised because he could not reach that person.
But suddenly they stopped and turned their face to him, their lips twitching to a smile.
He stopped in amazement, "Hoon."
He could not move, but then he watched Hoon's face slowly change to someone else.
"Jinyoung."
He shook his head frantically as he saw Jinyoung giving him only a smile and then turning back to run away from him again.
"No, Stop! Please stop, Jinyoung!"
Mark woke up, screaming and his eyes brimming with tears. He sat up on the bed and clutched his chest, which was in pain, just like in his dream. The pain remained, and he slowly lay back on the bed.
The reality was no better than the dream. Jinyoung was not beside him and would never be. Why? Why couldn't they be together? What was separating them? Was it Jinyoung? Or was it himself?
He couldn't sleep anymore; all his thoughts were scattered. Yet all of them centred on one subject alone. Jinyoung.
He must see Jinyoung today. He had set his own rule not to see Jinyoung, in any way and for any reason. But now it had only lasted for two days. That was enough time for him to figure the things out.
Mark threw the phone to the bed in frustration. All together nine calls and none was answered. It was impossible that Jinyoung was not awake yet; it was already half past eight in the morning.
At last Mark changed into some presentable clothes to go out. He left home and drove straight to Jinyoung's house. However, when he arrived there, he found it was locked. It was Saturday and where could both Jinyoung and his father have gone?
Having no more idea where to go and search for Jinyoung, he drove along with no particular direction. But then he changed the direction to the orphanage. It was only morning and there was only thin hope that Jinyoung could be there.
For the second time, he was here again in the orphanage. He headed for the reception counter.
"Is Park Jinyoung already here? I'm his friend, so I'd like to meet him if he's here," Mark inquired.
"Oh, Jinyoung? Yes, he is. I think he's playing with the children somewhere."
Mark's eyes brightened, "Do you know where he is?"
"Hey, Minyoung, can you lead him to where Jinyoung could be now?" she turned to Mark again, "You can follow her. She would help you find him."
Later the girl led him along the corridor and to the playground in the back-yard. But as there were a lot of different sessions in the playground, it was not easy to find Jinyoung.
Yet fortunately, Mark's wondered eyes spotted Jinyoung near a set of swings, talking with a little girl.
"There he is. Thanks so much for your help."
"He's with Kan. If you want to talk with him, I'll take her along with me."
Minyoung went ahead and talked with Jinyoung, which Mark couldn't hear anything. Later, Minyoung took the child in her arms and walked away.
After they had been gone, Jinyoung stood up from his crouching position and turned to look at Mark. He made no approach. It was Mark, who ran to him and to the latter's surprise, embraced him in his arms.
"What's the matter, Mark?"
Mark couldn't answer; he was just much relieved to see and take Jinyoung in his arms again after those two dreadful days.
"I've missed you," Mark murmured, his breath against Jinyoung's nape. He felt tears starting to well up in his eyes.
When they pulled away, Jinyoung looked into Mark's eyes.
"Are you crying? Why?"
Jinyoung reached out to wipe the tears away but his hand was stopped. Mark took and pressed it against his chest. "Can you feel me there?"
"Your heartbeats?" asked Jinyoung, perplexed.
"Yes. Those bumping ones against my chest, to be exact. Aren't you going to ask me now why they are pounding so hard?"
Jinyoung flushed, starting to understand what Mark was driving at.
"Jinyoung, now please answer me, frankly and looking into my eyes. Do you still have feelings for me? Do you still like me? No. Love me?"
Jinyoung blinked in confusion. "Why all of a sudden? What's happening to you, Mark?"
"I had a dream last night. Actually a nightmare."
"Hmm."
"In that dream, you were running away from me. And I couldn't bear it, Jinyoung. I was heart-broken even in the dream," Mark took a deep breath, his eyes were on Jinyoung's, unwaveringly. "When I woke up, I realised the reality was no better than the dream. I don't want to lose you. Can you understand me?" Jinyoung made no response and Mark continued, "Jinyoung, can you believe me if I say that I'm in love with you? And that's why I'm asking you if you still have feelings for me. Do you?"
Jinyoung let out a quiet sigh. "Mark, you're only mistaking everything. You don't love me, you want me only physically. What you want is only what pleasure my body can give you."
Mark shook his head and held Jinyoung's head in place.
"No, I love you because I'm in love with your heart, your ways, what you do, and to simplify, everything of yours. How could I be mistaken about that? If I wanted only sexual pleasure, I could have gone to someone else, instead of damaging my own image in front of my very friend. I was a coward, I know, I used sex to keep you beside me. But in the end, you still ran away from me."
Mark's words slowly melted Jinyoung's hardened heart. Could it be really true that Mark loved him? He had never expected it. He had always thought of what he could give Mark but rarely what he could get back from Mark. Of course, his feelings for Mark had never changed.
"I'm always here for you. As long as you need me. Is that answer enough?"
"You still love me?" asked Mark, hopefully.
"I've always loved you."
Mark let out a relieved sigh and once again, embraced Jinyoung in his arms, inhaling the scent of Jinyoung's hair.
"Jinyoung, you've never failed to please me, understand me and a lot more, I can't even describe. I feel so lucky to have you by my side."
"It's because I can't help pleasing you, understanding you and whatever else you want to describe. And I can't help but love you."
Mark slowly pulled away and his intense eyes were locked with Jinyoung's.
"You know what, Jinyoung? You're like the stars in the midnight sky, for me," Mark caressed Jinyoung's cheek with his thumb, gently, "When I'm lost, you're there for me. You lead me through the dark and guide me along. Seriously, what did I do to have you in my life? I could never be thankful enough. You've given me a lot and it is about time I return that favour to you."
"I'm all for it then," Jinyoung smiled, "And I thank you too, for letting me enter your life and shine in your world, even if it is only as a small flickering light like a star."
"You talk well, Jinyoung. I like it."
Mark's eyes landed on those lips and traced them wth his thumb. His other hand reached for Jinyoung's and brought it to his lips, planting small kisses on the knuckles.
Mark slowly inched closer and closer till the distance between them became so small that they could feel each other's breaths.
"What've you done to me? I'm so addicted to you now," Mark uttered.
"I can say the same to you."
With one slight move, their lips came to one combination and tried to taste each other deeply.
Jinyoung felt Mark caressing his sides, and he locked his arms around Mark's neck. For the first time, unlike their previous kisses, Jinyoung's mind was all clear of doubts, hesitation, fear and worry. He was now reassured and satisfied.
Without pulling away, Mark walked both of them step by step, to which Jinyoung followed with the steps backward, till Jinyoung's back touched the cold trunk of a tree.
Mark pinned Jinyoung's body against the tree, causing the leaves to stir in a rustling sound. The cool, refreshing smell of the leaves invaded Jinyoung's sense of smell but it could not distract him from the commanding tongue of Mark, ruling the inside of his mouth, and tasting everything there.
When they came to a point where they could no longer handle the lack of air, they pulled away, breathing hard.
"I'm going to make sure you have no more regret about loving me," Mark breathed against Jinyoung's lips.
Jinyoung moved and buried his face in Mark's shoulder. "Why do you have to make me fall for you even more than before?"
Mark chuckled, "I have no answer apparently. Only that I love you so much."
"I love you, too. Always have."
Mark smiled and patted Jinyoung's hair. They were starting a new chapter of life, and Mark believed they were not too late to start enjoying the parts of the joyful life together, which they had missed before. And not too late to be perfectly drunk in the mutual love, which before, they had thought would have never existed between them. It was a new, sweet, curious feeling to walk together to the beginning of their love life.
The End
This was quite short. I actually intended it to be only a short one. Once again, thank you very much for reading this fic...