A/N: The picture above is Sakine- I kind of sketched it on my free time (so sorry if it's not the best)
I'm sorry that these next few chapters have been pretty gloomy, but they will get lighter. One more thing, I am NOT up to date really with the manga, I've read some of it but If there is any misinformation or if someone is ooc feel free to message me :)
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3rd P.O.V
A rich aroma of smells filled the room as dinner was served. Sakine stared down at her bowl of food which consisted of Miso Ramen and vegetables. It felt as if her appetite had turned to ash, eating her dinner as if it was poison.
She sat there picking at her food with wooden chopsticks. Why is she being like this? She was perfectly normal the other day?
As she sat conflicted with her thoughts, the usual dinner time routine took place:
1. Daikoku serving dinner.
2. Yato and Yukine eating noisily: Slurping and eating their food like some sort of vacuum cleaner, showing no signs of embarrassment whatsoever.
3. Daikoku and yelling at them for their lack of manners.
Yato and Yukine arguing, (only when their mouths weren't full though)
4. Kofuku being well... Kofuku.
She watched her master and Yukine bicker over something stupid. This time, she didn't smile, laugh, or join in on the conversation; She just observed.
She felt so weird after the encounter after the three girls in the bathroom.
She felt like a ball of tangled yarn, confused and disoriented. After the encounter with them, she noticed that she was more self-conscious and more aware. She started pointing out more flaws about herself in the mirror, and she felt more anxious about little things especially around Yukine. She didn't know why.
And she felt stupid for feeling that way. Sakine was afraid that she was hurting Yato for the way she felt, or she was afraid of someone finding out and thinking she was stupid.
That's because she was.
"Saki-Chan are you alright?" Kofuku asked in a worried tone, pulling the blonde from thoughts.
"Yeah, I'm fine, why you ask?" The blond fidgeted with her thumbs. This conversation caught the eye of Yato and Yukine who were arguing aimlessly.
'Am I lying? Or am I actually okay'
"You sure? You have been acting weird lately." Daikoku piped from the kitchen as he was doing the dishes.
"Yeah, I think I just need sleep," Sakine replied. She then cleaned her dishes and headed upstairs. She could feel them all shooting her worried glances as she walked up to the attic. As she reached her futon, she toppled into it, snuggling into the soft eiderdown duvet. She enclosed herself into it as if it was a shield protecting her from the world.
-
Yukine sat at the table with knitted eyebrows as he watched the blonde regalia walk up the stairs. Something was up with Sakine and he didn't know what it was, but he was determined to find out.
After a period of prolonged silence, the regalia spoke up: "Do you know what is going on with her Yato?"
"Hmm," Yato shrugged, "I don't know, must be some teenage girl thing. I'll probably have Hiyori talk to her and see what's up. She isn't blighting me in any way, so it must not be too bad."
Yato didn't want to admit it, but he was a bit concerned too. This was the first time she acted like this. She was usually cheerful, positive, and overall a happy girl; Definitely not someone you would see as depressed or moody. And he knew her long enough to know that. The god could feel some turmoil forming in his chest coming from his newest regalia, but not enough to blight him.
"That shows how much you care," Yukine replied crossing his arms, with a slightly salty tone.
"And why do you care so much, Yukine~," Said Yato smirking in amusement, narrowing his eyes slightly.
"Uh... uh, I don't know, I just wanna know if she's okay." The regalia turned his head to the side to avert his gaze, but there was a sudden rosiness of his cheeks that gave it all away. It wasn't love between them in any romantic way, perhaps more platonic than anything. He just admired her. Well, he admired everything about her. From the way the breeze blew her hair, to the softness of her voice...
"Oh my Yuki! You do have a thing for Sakine don't you!?" The Pinkette god smiled intrigued by the conversation. As she rested her head in her hands, she looked so much like a child. The way she leaned over the table and tilted her head, she looked like a preschooler ready for story time.
"Alright, that's enough you too," Daikoku scolded from the kitchen, butting into the conversation."Give Yukine a break; he just met her anyways. "
"Fine whatever, but Yukine you are NOT ready to have girls in your life," The blue-eyed god stated firmly, taking a sip of his beer. "You may think your ready for romance, But I will not allow it!"
"But Yato! They would look so cute together!" Kofuku wined in disbelief with her eyes widening.
"Yeah, but Yukine has already been through an ablution for trying to mess around with Hiyori. And ever since then he has been living a responsible life of abstinence and cleanliness." Yato crossed his arms pleased with himself as Yukine made a face blushing from embarrassment.
'Why does he have to mention that!'
"Yato, speak for yourself," Daikoku retorted, shaking his head clearly annoyed with the diety. "You can't even take care of your regalia because you spend all your money on tacky figurines."
Yato tossed him a faintly irritated look and then letting it go with no energy to argue. He sighed as he took another swig of his beer. "Yukine, in all seriousness, I don't want anything weird going on with you two."
"Okay, I don't like her in any romantic way anyway," Yukine grumbled in annoyance.
"Good"
'Like he can tell me if I can like someone or not.' The regalia thought to himself. Yukine had to refrain himself from rolling his eyes as he headed upstairs to the attic.
Yato was like an overprotective brother, or in better words: a helicopter parent. There was a time where he asked for a phone just in case there was some emergency. But obviously, Yato said no stating: "You're not ready for a phone yet". He also noticed that his master is starting to be like that when he was around Sakine now. The god always kept an eye on them; making sure they were not doing anything weird. Or mostly, he wasn't doing anything to Sakine because 'she was too innocent for that crap.'
He sighed again in defeat. Like he would want to do anything anyways.
As he reached the attic, he saw Sakine curled up into the blankets like a sushi roll.
'She must be asleep.'
Yukine settled into his bed weary with the burden of tired eyes. His night light glowed, eating away at the darkness of the room giving him a sense of comfort from the day that he had. He closed his eyes and let out a low breath as sleep welcomed him.
-
Sakine's eyes stayed peeled at the digital clock. Eleven o'clock morphs into twelve and then one. The time trickled by, marked by the changing glowing numerals. The room was dark, other than
the yellow luminescing nightlight by Yukine's futon. Even though she was unable to sleep, it felt as if her brain was running on 5 percent battery. It wasn't because of Yato or the occasional snores of Yukine, because most of the time she could sleep through noise. It was her thoughts that kept her awake.
The blonde sighed wearily sitting upright on her bed. her legs were outstretched and covered with my warm duvet. Her eyes traveled to her master who was hugging his body pillow, mumbling in his sleep about regalias with big breasts and an infinite amount of booze.
Sakine subconsciously rolled her eyes, 'What an idiot..'
She got up and headed downstairs hoping to tire herself out. Lingering in the background, The sound of rain pitter-pattered like the beat of a thousand small drums. As the rain hit the window, it made a pit-a-pat sound against the glass, almost sounding like someone was tapping on it. Intrigued, she pushed the curtains back and took a peek outside. Droplets of water streaked down the window panes as rain puddles flooded the concrete street.
The blonde opened the glass sliding door and sat on the porch of the shrine. She shivered at the chilly spring air - all sorts of thoughts running through her mind as she watched the heavy downpour.
Sakine knew she was off, and she didn't know why. Her mind always wandered back to those three girls, and she just couldn't let it go. Why would they treat themselves so horribly for a guy? They were already so beautiful: with their shiny hair and perfect hourglass figures. If they considered themselves ugly, then what was she?
She certainly didn't have an hourglass figure or big breasts. She didn't have a thigh gap and she didn't wear outrageous shades of makeup. She wasn't sexy- actually more cute than anything.
She never felt like this before; it almost felt as if the world was against her. She wanted to be beautiful, visually appealing to the eye. The blonde regalia started to feel utterly worthless. If she wasn't beautiful then what's the point? She wasn't really any use to Yato or Yukine. Shes scared of gore and fire, and she can't shoot arrows with one kill, unlike Yukine.
Sakine ran her fingers through her platinum locks, looking up at the sky. The clouds covered the moon and the stars which were the only source of light, other than the flickering street lamps. There is intense anxiety to the rain as it fell between the tumbling clouds and the earth. The sky seemed almost as if it declared war with the earth, battering the roof and the concrete like a hail of bullets.
The sliding door rattled opened startling Sakine, interrupting her from her thoughts. It was Yato. He tossed a black jacket at her which she caught.
"It's cold out here; you must be freezing." The god said as he sat beside her cross-legged on the wooden porch.
"Thanks," She uttered under her breath putting on the thin jacket, "Did I wake up? I'm sorry if I did."
"No," He responded flatly looking at the sky, "Its impossible to sleep anyways when my chest feels like a war zone."
"I'm sorry..." She apologized as she fiddled with the thumbs. She felt awful. Not only is she being stupid, but shes now affecting her master's health.
"Its okay," He gave her a small smile, "What's up? Talk to me." His tone changed to causal and light, throwing her off.
"I don't really know what to talk about..."
"I have a pain right here," Yato said pointing to a spot on his chest. "I think it's best if you tell me what's going on. Because it's better for both of us."
They sat in silence for a minute. What was she supposed to tell him? That she didn't like herself because of some petty high school girls? She stared down at her feet in embarrassment. Her eyes stayed peeled at a loose thread hanging off of her black sock.
"I feel strange," She started, her eyes never leaving the thread, "When we were at the high school, I ran into some girls that were in the bathroom. They were really pretty."
"Go on," Yato encouraged looking at his regalia.
"They talked about how they had boyfriends, and they needed to stay slim for them. One called herself fat when she was just really skinny. They talked as if their only worth is how beautiful they were. I don't know why this has affected me so much. Like, I never felt any anxiety until I ran into them. I just feel worthless; I don't really help you guys as much as I should." She laughed sadly to herself, "It's so stupid because I have no reason to be like this."
The blue-eyed god eyed Sakine with concerned eyes. He knew something like this would happen when he brought her to the high school, and he did it anyway. In Sakine's past life, she had anxiety and self-esteem issues due to the years of abuse she experienced. Yato was hoping that it wouldn't carry over into her afterlife, so he tried his best to help her stay away from that mindset. But he stretched it far by staking her and Yukine to the school.
"If I didn't think you were any worth I wouldn't have named you," The god ruffled her hair and gave her a smile, "When I named you, you saved me and Yukine's ass."
"I did?"
"Yup!" Yato replied looking at the sky, "I was surprised, I didn't think that you would shoot as strong as you did because of your age."
"Huh.." A small smile formed at her lips as she heard the news. It gave her a small boost of confidence that she didn't have for the past few days. The blonde involuntarily yawned. She looked at her watch and it read 2:00 AM.
"It's pretty late; you should head to bed," Yato informed.
"Yeah I guess so, are you coming inside?" The blonde said quietly rubbing her eyes. She got up from the porch and dusted the particles of dirt from her pajama pants.
"I will in a little bit." The god replied with his eyes gazing out to Kofuku's backyard.
As sakine was just about to enter the shrine, she stopped. "Hey, Yato?" She mumbled in a cracked voice.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."