I was dreading having to face his parents, one of them being my own. That statement replayed in my mind over and over again yet I could never get used to the reality of it. It seemed too abnormal that I shared the same Father as the boy as I was in love in. That doesn't happen to you every day.
We didn't have far left to run. Neither of us had slowed down, if we had the courage to skip school there was no doubt that the three guys back at school would do the same just to harm us. Although that didn't mean there weren't points where I wanted to stop. The closer we got to Kellin's house, my new home, the more I couldn't prepare myself for the heartache I would receive.
"Vic, stop questioning yourself already. It'll be fine. My Mum will accept you, well, she already has and Calvin's your Dad. He has to acknowledge you at some point and if if not I'll just force this upon him. I told you that I love you and I'm not letting you go, not even my parents will get in the way of that," Kellin reassured me. I knew that I should've been grateful for those words of his but I instantly felt responisble for something that hadn't even happened yet and that was his parents disowning him because of me.
"Trust me, Vic, I mean it," he continuted and I smiled for the first time that day. I squeezed his hand and we picked up speed. In less than a full minute we had reached his house and my heart almost stopped as the nerves ate away at me. This was it.
He walked towards the door with me in pursuit and gently opened it leaving it open for me to step in after. I could hear his Mum's gentle voice singing softly to herself in the kitchen and it was a tune that I recognised. Somehow I knew that it was from when I was younger, before I had lost my memory but I still knew it. That's how strange life can be sometimes.
I strode past the eye catching photograph of Kellin and I from when we were younger which made me smile unconsciously. The last time I had seen it a dozen questions were streaming through my mind but now I knew the truth and I could properly take in the beauty of the two children before me.
"Kellin! What do you think you're doing at home?" I suddenly heard Andrea say, more shocked than angry. This was the third time that her son had bunked off school, maybe it took a little to get used to.
"Mum, just listen to me. Vic and I need to talk to you," Kellin said and in that moment I stepped through the kitchen door frame so that I was in view of Andrea.
"Vic..," Andrea whispered my name, obviously not expecting to see me. I smiled awkwardly and walked towards Kellin taking his hand in my own, making me wonder if his parents knew of his sexuality, as we sat down at the kitchen table whilst Andrea did the same. My mind kept drifting back to imagining what would happen when Calvin would walk into the room to see me again.
"Where's Dad?" Kellin asked. Andrea replied saying that he had gone upstairs quickly but would be returning any second. She told me not to worry, that the first time I saw him was only a small incident which wouldn't occur again. I didn't believe any of those words.
As if on cue Calvin himself walked through the door. My Dad walked through the door just to promptly have myself catch his attention. Time seemed to slow down as he walked towards me emotionless. I edged closer to Kellin but Kellin didn't budge. Calvin had begun to silently cry as he gently pressed a hand to my right cheek and studied my face. The touch made me shiver to think that for the first time in years my real Dad was there in front of me, under control this time.
"Vic, I'm sorry," he said and he threw his arms around me. My mind didn't think as I returned the gesture. I was speechless but all I wanted was to have a proper family and right then it seemed as if it were possible.
"Dad, Vic and I need to talk to you urgently hence the reason why we're not at school right now," Kellin said desperately. We had the whole day to talk about this but I suspected that he wanted to get it off his chest.
"Does whatever you want to tell us explain why you are bruised all over?" Andrea questioned and that's when I remembered that I'd have to explain my years of self harm, being a victim of bullies and abusive 'parents' to my Dad. The nerves came back, not that they ever left, and I let go of my Dad.
"Yes, Dad, can you please sit down next to Mum then Vic and I can explain everything," Kellin said and I gripped his hand again under the table, biting back tears that were threatening to fall even though we hadn't even started yet. Calvin nodded and took his place next to Andrea.
Kellin sighed heavily and let out a shaky breath as he began, "I'm not really sure where to start but I doubt Vic will want to talk so I'll try my hardest. Dad, the people who you left Vic in care of were the wrong people completely. They were monsters. You let your son into a life of hell. When we broke contact with him that's when he began to get bullied. Vic was bullied both verbally and physically. Vic.. he started self harming," the tears began, "and his fake parents were abusing him. I'm guessing there were points where he could've been beaten up so badly he could've ended up in hospital, forunatley that never happened.
As you know I've grown close to Vic again but this time I'm not leaving her. Never. Why? Because I'm in love with him. Yes, I'm gay. As long as I'm here Vic is not going to get hurt again which means he has to live with me otherwise he'll be going back to those stupid people who hurt him. I'm not letting that happen. Just please can Vic live with us now? You know what he's like from when we were younger, it'll be great. Please? Both of us need this."
By the end of his explanation I was full on crying again. Calvin's expression was one of pure hurt and hatred whilst Andrea was still plastered with shock. I wanted to runaway with Kellin so that I wouldn't get hurt and neither Calvin nor Andrea could get hurt either.
"No."
I stopped. My heart stopped, my tears stopped. Everything. Everything just stopped. That one word had ruined everything. I looked up to see Calvin with the same amount of expression as he did when he walked through the door.
"What?" was all Kellin could mutter. Calvin's attitude towards me had changed within a split second, I didn't even think that the fact that Kellin had gone through my life's story had even bothered him in the slightest.
"Vic, you may be my son and don't get me wrong, I am disgusted by the fact that you have been treated that way and I swear to god it breaks my heart to know that you've felt low enough to take it out on yourself but I just can't have you living here," Calvin said. My own Dad had rejected me. Again.
"Why not? If you feel that way then why not?" Kellin practically shouted. He was standing up and had begun to pound his fist against the table.
"Because there's a reason why I decided that we would cut communications with Vic, Kellin! It's a lot easier for all of us! You two falling in love was never going to happen because I never thought my sons would be fags! But I'm in love with you Mother which pracically makes you two siblings, this isn't right!" Calvin answered back, matching Kellin's height.
"I don't care! It's not like we're related by blood and that's a rubbish reason anyway!" Kellin said as Andrea and I stayed completely quiet letting the scene unfold before us.
"That still doesn't mean this is acceptable! I wanted to start a new family and leave my old life behind, there's another reason why I abandoned Vic. Kellin, we don't need this! I'm telling you now that Vic isn't allowed to stay," Calvin hissed.
"How dare you call yourself a Father? How could you do that to Vic? You don't even care do you? I disown you as my Step Father then when Vic and I get married one day you'll become my Father-in-law, how about that?" Kellin said and I blushed at the thought. Was Kellin that serious about us that he even considered marriage?
"Kellin, that's not how it works," Calvin simply stated. He turned his glare on me and I looked away.I knew that in his head he was blaming everything on me for coming back into his life. Kellin was his son now, I would never be his son again.
"I told you that I don't care," Kellin said bitterly. Calvin just rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of fustration as he turned away and out of the kitchen door, heading back up the stairs. Kellin, Andrea and I sat in awkward silence as we waited for Calvin to return in utter suspence as to what was going to happen when he came back.
"I'm sorry," was all I could say quietly to attempt to break the silence but Kellin just ignored my comment, Andrea giving me a small, apologetic smile. I was about to open my mouth to explain why I should probably just have left but then a suitcase came rolling down the stairs, most likely broken once it hit the bottom step. Calvin followed it, picking it up and demanding that Andrea stand by his side which she did in no time at all.
"It just so happens that I have a business trip to attend to which means neither Andrea or I will be here for the next two months," Calvin said which seemed to surprise me more than it did Kellin, "we were meant to be leaving within the next few hours but it seems better to leave now. We're going to France for a while, ok? Vic, you better not be here when we get back." With that Calvin just nodded at Kellin and walked out the door, pulling along the suitcase with him.
Andrea planted a kiss on Kellin's forehead before giving my shoulder a squeeze. I watched as the car pulled out the driveway and Kellin's parents slowly faded away into the distance. I looked at him but he didn't even seem hurt that they had left so abruptly.
"I've just remembered that my Uncle offered if I wanted to live with him, why don't I? It would be a lot easier. Kellin, I'm so sorry," I said once he shut the door. Kellin wrapped his arms around me as I bit my lip, forcing back the tears. I felt so guilty but that was expected.
"No, you're staying with me."