How to love

By hiddenidenity

349K 14.6K 1.8K

"Forgive me, Mr Hayes but a girl doesn't want thousands of dollars spent upon her. A simple goodwill, heartfe... More

one: Eavesdropping
two: Another gold-digger.
three: Dave and Buster's
four: No roses
five: Chinese or sushi?
six: Which cheeks?
seven: Maybe you just take my breath away.
eight: Dracula, actually.
nine: Queen B
ten: Tabloids.
eleven: No more butterflies
twelve: Jase
thirteen: Propositions.
fourteen: Keeping company.
fifteen: Wake up calls
seventeen: Pizza?
eighteen: Alone.
nineteen: Being jealous
twenty: Sweet jesus
twenty-one: She's better
twenty-two: Grey sweatpants
twenty-three: Dinner's ready
twenty-four: My Jason
number twenty-five: Just us
twenty-six: Friend
twenty-seven: Who Jason?
twenty-eight: Jillian
twenty-nine: Realisation
chapter thirty - Love
SEQUEL

sixteen: More than enough

9.4K 463 77
By hiddenidenity

Frankie's point of view:

Jason.                                                                                                                                                                                  Just touched down, see you soon.

There was no swarm of butterflies, no warmth surging through my chest or igniting a fire in the pits of my stomach. Instead, just a restriction of air as my lungs were squeezed from all sense of breath. I could feel the sting of bile shooting up my oesophagus with every clenching knot that formed.

Pull yourself together, Frankie, I though as I straighten the picture that hung on the freshly painted walls. He is your very single, very off-limits boss, you have no right to have these feelings - I continued to scold myself but I just couldn't shake the heaviness that weight on my shoulders as the picture of Jason and Natasha remained engraved every time I blinked.

Stop it.

The airport was less than twenty minutes away, meaning I had a short period of time to somehow gather myself from the overbearing mess that I was and become professional. I walked around Jason's office, tweaking every last item to busy myself before he returns.

Then, my breathing in strangled. My entire body stiffens, my crying muscles asking to be relaxed as my eyes focus on the jingling doorknob. He was back, and looking even more delightful than before he went. He wasn't wearing a tie and his shirt was missing the top two buttons - did Natasha do that?

Stop.

"Wow." He breathes out with raised eyebrows and suddenly the feelings and thought of betrayal had been overshadowed by the spring of anxiousness. His eyes were scanning everything - the new wooden floors and the new oak desk, the new floor to ceiling bookshelves and hidden storage units right down to the splashes of colourful pictures that were now hung on the walls. It was a far cry from the monochrome shell he tucked himself away in.

I clear my throat quietly, pulling my shoulders back in hope that the tough exterior would keep up. "If there's anything you don't like, I'll change it."

His head whips from studying the new seating area and he frowns at my stone tone. "Are you okay? Did something happen while I was gone? Did Jillian give you a hard time?"

"No." I replied monotone. The glimpse of concern that pools his eyes makes my heart flutter involuntarily. "If your happy, I'll be going now."

As I turn swiftly on the balls of my feet prepared to make a quick exit and avoid the rising tension and string of curious questions, my wrist burned with his touch as he grabbed me. Fingers tingling my skin, pressing into my pulse to steady me on the spot. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth as it went drier than the Sahara, my eyes enlarging in double their size as he tug me towards him.

"Frankie, what's going on?" He asks, intrigued to know why the sudden cold demeanour. "There's something you're not telling me and I want to know wha-"

"Why was Natasha with you in Hong Kong?"

The words fly from my tongue without a second though, burning like liquid metal and tasting just as horrible. I could see by the wrinkles drifting across his forehead that he was shocked, and his reaction just tightened the knots that curled in my tummy. The seconds of silence felt longer, his tongue pokes out to wet his dried lips which were parted to speak but no words spilled.

"I'm sorry." I quickly blurt, snatching my arm back from his embrace. "I'm sorry, it's none of my business."

I turn to escape once again, but find myself being gripped back into his vice grip. This time, instead of tugging on my wrist, his hand slips and curl around my fingertips. I wanted to jolt back, running straight out of the door and not looking back to his ridiculously handsome and worried stricken face. But I couldn't. I was bolted to the floor.

"How did you know?"

"You both were photographed. News travels fast apparently, even when you're in a different part of the world." I tell him, this mornings breakfast curdling in my stomach ready to be heaved up. "I thought you were making progress. I thought you had moved on from her but instead you flew her to a different country and took her out for a dinner that I'm sure didn't cost anything less than a few hundred dollars."

"Will you let me explain?"

I shake my head, still aware my hand was still resting in his. "You don't need too. I'm out of order for feeling like this, or intruding on what you do in your personal life. What you do, and who with, is your business."

"It wasn't what it looked like, Frankie." He explains and my nasty stubbornness raised it's barrier. "Please, just let me explain."

"I think - I think we should probably call everything off." I croaked, my voice barely above a timid whisper. I pull my hand back, immediately craving the warmth again. "It was stupid of me to think that I could possibly help you. How could I help someone to love when I haven't experienced it myself?"

"Frankie, please."

With a hammering heart and trembling hands, I take a massive step backwards, wincing at the doorknob that jams into the bottom of my spine. "I was stupid, beyond stupid but now I'm stopping it. This is strictly professional from here on out, I'm not jeopardising my job to medal within your rekindling with Natasha."

"It's not a rekindling."

The heat was suffocating me and the pain that making a fort in my chest, climbing and crawling so desperately up my throat to be voiced. But I could. I couldn't say anything to him.

I couldn't tell him how my heart plummeted into my stomach, shattering into a million and one pieces when I saw the photo of him and Natasha sitting cosy together in Hong Kong where he told me he was alone, just hours after he told me that he wished I had of been there. I couldn't tell him how I have literally craved his voice, his presence, his smell in the past three days. I couldn't tell him how that I couldn't even read any of my novels that stacked the bookshelf in my bedroom because every book I read, wasn't close to the newfound feelings I feel when I'm around him.

I couldn't.

"Please, you need to let me explain." He controlled his voice into a monotone but the strain in his voice was evident. The glorious pool of chocolate was so easily to drown in, especially when he was staring so intensely with some sort of need. "It wasn't what it looked like, Frankie."

I hold up my hand, forcing my lips to curl into a smile. "You don't need to explain, honestly."

"I didn't know Natasha would be there." He blurts quickly, his words holding a frantic waver. I pause but my hand remains gripped around the knob of the door. He poked his tongue out, wetting his drying lips that were cracking under the pressure. "I have to tell you something. Please, just wait and hear me out."

"I need to get bac-"

"Please, Frankie."

The innocence in his voice made my heart crumble into ashe. He motions me silently to take a seat, slowly taking a step back and letting me maneuver past him. I sit at the edge of the seat, ankles crossing and knees pressing together, eagerly awaiting what he has to say even if my head was screaming at me to run.

He takes a breath. "I promise you, I didn't know that Natasha was going to be there. It was as much as a shock to me than it was to you."

Doubtful.

He leans back on his desk, knuckles turning white as he grips anxiously. He drops his head, silently confirming that I wouldn't like what he was about to say. "Natasha's father is one of our contractors."

The constriction in my chest was tightening, burning my lungs and stinging my throat. Deep wrinkles continued to form across his forehead, the welcoming warmth slowly leaving his eyes as his frown falls further.

"I guess she took this opportunity to approach me, alone." He mumbles. "I guess the photo was of us in the restaurant, correct?"

I nod bluntly.

He sighs. "It was the only time I was with her, spoke to her and seen her. I promise you. I was there for a meeting with Mr Yung and his team, I didn't even know she was there until I arrived too early for our dinner reservations and she just - well, appeared. She kept trying to apologise, trying to make me see that we were right for each other. We must have been photographed at the wrong time, because seconds after it I got up and left. I left her alone, sitting at that table to return to my business."

Each word was so honest, so raw and pure, it gave me no reason to doubt him but that didn't settle the churning in my stomach. He registered the stiffness of my body, taking note that I was uncomfortable when he steps that inch closer and crouches down in front of my body with a hand carefully being placed upon my knee. I could feel the saliva gathering in my mouth and my breathing become hallow.

"She was begging for me to take her back - but I couldn't." His voice was raspy and low, sugar coated with sheer attractiveness. "I couldn't because all I thought about when I was away, was you."

Before I could process, a gasp escaped between my parted lips but my widened eyes couldn't move from his. I was under his hypnosis, being sucked in to the whirlpool of darkness.

"Why? I-I'm only your employee." I stammer, my voice struggling to stay steady and my mind trying to focus on my words instead of his large hand that still captured my knee.

Suddenly, like a switch being flicked inside my mind, I shot from the chair and knocked him back in the process. The panic creating a fire in every vein across my body, one that I would struggle to put out. I felt like a python had wrapped itself around my lung, squeezing and suffocating as I stumble towards the broad doors.

"Frankie, wait!" He calls, clamouring to his feet. He brushes of the imaginary dust from his suit jacket as his long strides reaches me before I can scamper away like a scared mouse. "Frankie-"

"No." I interrupt, a swell rising in my chest. "No. I'm your employee, Mr Hayes. It's inappropriate for anything else. All these feelings, all these thoughts must stay strictly professional from now forward because that's all we will be."

"Frank-"

While I had only one relationship in my lifetime, and it was on the path to nowhere from the get-go, our breakup felt slightly like this. Filled with hurt, betrayal, upset. With Matthew, it was understandable to feel those things however with Jason, I felt stupid. Stupid for feeling hurt, for feeling betrayed and feeling upset over something that I never had.

I felt hurt over the photograph of him and Natasha, I felt betrayed that he was at dinner with her, and I was upset because it finally dawned on me that I was in fact, only his employee. Nothing more, nothing less.

"I really hope that I've taught you something these past few weeks." I tell him, willing my vocal cords not to wobble. "Only you can decide if Natasha has changed, but if she has then I wish you the best. I'm sorry for getting involved in the first place, if it wasn't for me then you would still be together."

"You have taught me more than enough." Jason replies. "Frankie, there's nothing between Natasha and I. Please."

I force a smile, my hand curling around the doorknob. "I hope you like your office, Mr Hayes."

And with that and the dullness hovering over my heart, I leave. 

| | | 

3K! I'm speechless thank you guys so much!! 

Anyway, I just wanted you to get a little insight into Frankie finally starting to discover her feelings. It's not going to stop here - it's only getting started, I promise! Be prepared for more drama, more gut-clenching, more lovey-dovey stuff. 

Please leave a comment and a vote xoxo

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