(Pic of Max ^^)
The next hour and a half, I had to go around the school followed by guys that looked like they could be the next face of the positive side effects of puberty. They were all so hot! I don't know what those guys were on but their bodies were better than any other guy in our school and they actually looked like teens from some Hollywood teen movie or series. Now I know why they are able to beat our football team in almost ever game we have between our schools.
And as you can imagine the tour was taking more than it had to because I was so distracted. But I don't think that the guys even noticed. They were busy with the girls that were coming up to them every now and then and they were flirting with them. Not that I blame the guys or the girls- but I had to stop every few feet because they would get distracted by some other girl.
"So, do you happen to have a boyfriend" Someone asked from behind me and I stopped dead in my spot. Great! Another one... How much time will I have to stop this time? I thought as I turned around to see what poor girl was about to be played by them. But when I did, there was no girl around but me.
"Are you asking me?" I asked looking at the guys, not really sure who talked.
"Yeah, there isn't any other girl around here!" The blond guy with the brown eyes asked while smirking his ass off.
"I don't see how that's any of your business!" I said turning away as quickly as I could because I didn't want them to see me blush. "Let's move on to the library. I'm almost sure none of you will actually use it for studying but I can bet ten bucks that the majority of you will use it as a make-out place." I said making my way to the library.
We were about to reach it when Brandon, one of the football players of our team, walked down the halls. He looked pretty happy. You're probably thinking 'Why the hell wouldn't he be happy?'. Well, his grades were lower than normal and the coach threatened him to kick him off the team if he didn't pull his shit together. So, for the past few weeks he's been moping around.
"Danielle!" He nearly screamed when he noticed that I was walking down the hall and he came running towards me. "I found you!"
"I wasn't hiding, Brandon." I said smiling at him. "What's up? What got you so happy?"
"I'm officially saved from getting kicked off the team!" He said proudly with the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face.
"Your dad finally came around and made that donation you were talking about?" I asked him teasingly and he rolled his eyes as an answer.
"No. But I got an B- on the Math test!" He said proudly presenting me his paper.
"Wow! Congratulations!" I said smiling at him.
"I just wanted to thank you because I would have never done it without you!" He said and he hugged me. Awkward!
"You're welcome!"
Okay, you're probably confused. And I don't blame you. You're thinking that with my crazy schedule I had and the long time that it took to help Ethan with his homework I don't have time to help other students with their homework.
And you're right, I don't.
I do, however, have a join class once a week for about two hours where I tutor the football team all together. We're having a class and we talk a bit about everything. Usually, they don't have understood the curriculum for the most part and I'm just explaining them with terms that they can understand.
When Brandon's grades got low enough for the coach to be worried about having to kick him off the team, he begged me to help him out. So for the past couple of weeks I've spent the my weekends and my free periods- since and Brandon had practically the same schedule- helping him get his grades up and it seems that it worked.
"What exactly are you doing here?" He asked after he let me go and after he noticed that there were a couple of dudes he knew but didn't really want to see in the school were standing right behind me.
"You haven't heard?" I asked.
"Oh, I've heard." He said throwing a deadly glare towards the guys before returning his eyes to me. "Why are they following you? Do I need to get the guys?" He asked getting a bit protective over me- which he didn't have to do.
"No. Peterson wanted me to show them around. You know, make sure that they know where everything is so they could walk around the school and not be late for class. I was about to show them the library." I said pointed at the direction of where I was about to go.
"Does Ethan know that you're helping the enemy?"
"They're not the enemy and Ethan doesn't own me. I'm not his property. I don't think that he has to know what I'm doing and what I'm not doing. Plus, it's not like I was eager to do this. Peterson yanked me off my class to do this!"
"You think Ethan won't mind you hanging around the team that he's trying to beat? He's going to be furious."
"And that would be his problem, not mine." I said when I realized that me having this conversation not only gave the wrong impression of the relationship between Ethan and I to the guys but that it was also delaying their tour. "Look, I have to finish this so I can get back to my life. So..." I said.
"So, I guess we got our answer then..." Blond Hair Brown Eyes said after we had gotten out of Brandon's earshot.
I know I should have said something. I know that I should have said that Ethan and I were just friend- if that! But I didn't. I didn't even speak. I just kept walking. It's not like I want anyone to think that me and Ethan are sleeping together or that we have something going on but I just didn't want them to know that I was single. I don't know why- and I don't know how to explain it.
By the time the tour was over, I was exhausted. Thankfully, it was lunch time, so I told the guys were the cafeteria was and I rushed to my locker to get my money before practically running to the cafeteria. After I bought my food, I started looking around the tables for Max, Kelly or Joe.
To my surprise, Max was sitting on a table in the back corner of the room with the entire team of 'Lions'. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and I made my way towards them- my overprotective mode on full blast.
"Hey, girl. How was your day?" Max asked when I approached the table and sat on the chair right across from him.
"Same old, same old." I said as I kept examine his face for some kind of sign that he was uncomfortable with the guys that were sitting all around us, who they were now looking at me like I had grown two extra heads and they were making out with each other.
"So what did the creepy dude wanted from you this time?" He asked knowing that I knew 'the creepy dude' was Mr. Peterson.
"He asked me to give a tour to those guys" I said pointing the guys around him.
"So no hugs?"
"Dodge the bullet this morning but the day is still young so don't jinx it!"
"Okay!" He said lifting his hands in surrender while trying hard not to laugh at my horrified expression.
"So, why are you guys sitting with us?"
And now you're probably think I'm a bitch and some cold-hearted person. But I promise you I'm not. I just wanted to make sure that they are here because they want to be friends with Max and not to mess with him. Because, even thought he might not seem like he is, in reality, Max is a very sensitive person.
We live in a small town and many people in this town aren't as open-minded as they should be in the 21st century. And I could kind of understand those stands from someone who grew up in the '90s but kids at the same age as we were, weren't that supportive or accepted.
Since Max came out and the whole town found out, things have been bad for him. His dad doesn't accept the fact that his son is gay. He's mean and makes nasty comments. His mom wasn't okay at first but she came around. I mean, I didn't expect her not to come around- she's his mother, she's going to love him no matter what.
But ever since he came out, he's been picked on and bullied and harassed in an inhumane way. They would call him every name in the book. They would photo-shop photos that had a very degrading content and they would call him on his cell and land line and threaten his life.
There were times that it got too hard for him. So, he started cutting himself. When I found out, I was furious. That was the first time I ever yelled at him. I was so mad because instead of talking to me about what he was feeling, he was choosing to harm himself so he would stop the pain that he was experiencing.
And I wish it stopped there. I wish I could say that after yelling at him that I was here and that I wasn't going to judge him for anything, that he stopped cutting himself and he came to me to talk to me about the shitty days he was having.
But if I said something like that, I would be lying. He continued cutting and he kept telling me he was going to stop. But he couldn't. He said that cutting was making his emotional and mental pain real- it was making it physical. And he could deal with physical pain but he couldn't deal with the mental and emotional pain he was going through.
Two.
That was the time of times he tried to kill myself. And both those times, I was the one who found him. His dad didn't even care and his mom was busy with everything else to take notice that her own son was going through hell.
The first time, he cut his wrists. He called me just before he lost consciousness to say goodbye. I had never been more scared in my life. The minute I picked up the phone I knew something was wrong. The sound of his voice was off. When he started going down on memory-land and telling me how wonderful of a friend I am, I knew he had done something wrong.
I called the ambulance from my landline and I got into my car. He lost consciousness while talking to me while I was driving. I drove like a mad woman. When I reached his house, I didn't even knock. I rushed into the house with his mom yelling at me for walking in on her house.
I dashed towards his room to find him in the tub of his en suite bathroom. The water that was all around him had turned red from the blood and I grabbed his hands wrapping towels around them to stop the bleeding. His mom, who had followed me, was screaming and freaking out. Thankfully, the paramedics came fast and despite having lost too much blood, he woke up the next day.
The second time was more scary. He had already gone to therapy for his previous attempt but the kids in school were relentless. This time, he didn't call. He didn't say anything to make me worry. He just went home after school.
I wouldn't have gone by. I had no business in going to his house to visit him because we had just seen each other less than 30 minutes ago but something made me want to go see him. And I did.
I knocked, his mom answered and told me he was up in his room. I went in and found him on the bed. Thinking that he was sleeping, I tried to annoy him enough to make him wake up. When I couldn't annoy him enough, I started shaking him. And then I started getting worried because he wouldn't wake up.
And then I noticed the empty bottle of sleeping pills that was in his nightstand. I started screaming at him to wake up and not to joke about those things but he wouldn't wake up. His mom came up and she called and ambulance. They had to pump his stomach and he was out for a couple of days. His heart actually stopped once.
After the two attempts, his dad came around. He didn't want to lose his son and he realized that he was still the same person he raised. But that didn't mean that the kids in our school or the people in our town accepted him. They were still people that thought it was funny to pick on him and make fun of him.
To say that I still have nightmares that I walk into Max's room and he's lying there dead yet again is the understatement of the year. I have anxiety attacks just thinking about the fact that there might be possibility of that happening again.
So, when I asked them why they were sitting with us I wanted to make sure that they didn't bring all those feelings back. I just didn't want them to pretend to be friends with him only to mock him and tease him because he is fragile and that might push him over the edge for the third time. And I'm not sure if his body can come back from a third attempt or if I can handle finding him like that- or worse losing him.
It has already taken a huge toll on my life and it's made me age before my time.