C h a p t e r T h i r t y O n e
"Annie... The star of tonight's show. The reason why she hasn't arrived is because she took a turn for the worse. She is in a very critical state the hospital right now. She's been put in a coma and is unresponsive," Father Andrew announces in a somber voice, sending shockwaves across the crowd. "The family are praying and waiting for the right moment to turn off her life support, but have decided to waiting on, for the night to pass, because this special night was meant for her. They're all watching this now from the hospital and want to thank you all for the effort you're putting in. "
Wait, what?!
I immediately turned to the projector screen above as I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Father Andrew closes his eyes solemnly and nods to the audience in confirmation as people started to look at each other in confusion. No... It can't be.
"I apologies to be delivering the news like this. Let me quickly introduce myself really for those who may not know, I am Father Andrew and I have known Annie and the Mellers ever since she was a little girl. Her family has been attending my church for many years and tonight they have sent me here in their place, in hopes to ask you all to give them strength."
Whispers began traveling throughout the event, some people started crying, and really quickly a heavy set feeling took over the air as we all took in the severity of the situation. I myself started to feel lightheaded.
Annie was on life support and in a coma now?
But she was just visiting school three days ago... This really cannot be.
We'd only just sat together in the student guild during lunch discussing the final plans for the ball. Annie had been so excited to show me pictures of her make up options for the night. Sure Annie had looked a little weaker that day but sometimes she was just that way. Depending on the day, what treatment she had recently, or what she activity she'd done, she may be more tired one day than the next.
Or she could be the opposite, totally energetic and ready to beat you in a game of chess or demand a wheelchair race down the hall with the others. You'd just never know until you saw her, so we thought nothing unusual about her low energy.
I look over to Mr Green to see if he had heard.
He has his hands over mouth looking like he was going to be seriously ill. He was stumbling and had a hand against the wall to steady himself. I wondered if he was alright, perhaps he ate something wrong? Maybe he hadn't been sleeping much, or the situation with Annie was also affecting him greatly. Maybe he's also known Annie for a long time too?
A tear escaped my eyes.
Attempting to push through the people to get to Mr Green now was nearly impossible, everyone was barging into the area, trying to get closer to the stage to listen to Father Andrew's message.
"It doesn't matter if you are a not follower of Christ or even a believer of God. Please, we ask you to keep Annie in your thoughts tonight, she is in need of strength and love. But for those who are members of the church, let us all come together and pray," the soft but powerful voice of Father Andrews commanded through the speakers. Everyone in the audience was silent and respectful, bowing their head with faces grave. A few sniffles trembled through the the oval.
"Lord heavenly father, we are calling upon you now for strength in this difficult time to heal this child, our beloved Annie. Annie is a loving friend, student and teacher to all of us, an outstanding model with the kindest heart. Please let your love shine through and bless her and to heal her. Let us all bear witness to your greatness and all you can do, for Annie surrenders her whole heart to you.
Lord we trust in you. Lord we thank you –
For your strength, and the strength of everyone here listening. We thank you that she has found away to touch us all, to sing your praise and to inspire us all. We pray for your continuous love and blessings for Annie, and for all our brothers and sisters here today, may we come together and praise, in Jesus's name. Amen."
"Amen," we repeated.
Not long after that, a few students and teachers abruptly burst into tears, looking visibly shaken.
I raise my head and opened my eyes, blinking away the moisture that soaked my eyelashes and when my eyes finally refocused on the spot where Mr Green had been, my heart sinks even more seeing the now empty spot.
Where did he go..?
First Annie and now Mr Green.
In the distance, I see the flash of the glittering gold dress of a woman running down the path towards the carpark.
"Jasper!" Lea yelled in the distance as she chased him down. It was barely audible from where I was over the bustle of distraught people suddenly, but I heard it nonetheless.
The knots in my stomach continued to twist as questions of what exactly was happening, swirled in my thoughts.
Finally, after pushing my way through, I ran after them as fast as I could with the burden of my worries, constantly eating away at me, carrying my feet all the way there.
-
When I arrived down the grassy embankment of the carpark, shaking and out of breath, did I notice the slight shift in the mood. The sharp air in my intake was cold, piercing into my lungs making me feel only be able to take in half the amount of air at a time. And just when there was barely any time to collect myself, a sudden wretched thunder of a voice echoed from across the carpark, scaring the life out of me.
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
Jasper's eyes glowed under the yellow street lights inhumanely. "DID YOU KNOW?!" He roars towards Lea who had her back turned towards me. Without warning he grabs onto his head, bends over and screams the most dreadful howl that echos along the road. I staggered back from his violent outburst, suddenly feeling very frightened. With the hairs at the back of my neck standing on its end, I stared at the strange man in front of me, almost wondering if I'd followed the wrong person down here.
Was this really him? I thought as I watched him from where I stood. Mr Green's face was carved into the most harrowing and empty look I'd ever seen, and it was a side of him I'd never seen before... He looked unrecognizable. Only his unmistakable tall frame and wide shoulders gave away the clue. The rest of him though, his expression, body language, voice... it was someone else.
Mr Green paced around the lot, the outline of his form reminded me of a sort of crazed tormented black wolf. Growling, drooling and shaking devilishly as he continued to mutter out profanities, slurring them together in a strange voice as he kept repeating them over and over.
Goosebumps littered my body.
I took a slow step backwards but my eyes couldn't leave the scene. I couldn't even blink. I'd never seen anything like this, as if somebody's nightmare was coming to life right in front of me.
I wasn't sure if he was conscious of what he was doing at the moment because even I wasn't sure myself, all I know is that it was making me terrified that he could be this way, behaving like, what I can only describe was a soulless demon, plotting to destroy the world whilst trapped in the vault of his own crazed mind.
Not to mention the way darkness seemed to be escape from his body and seep onto the ground following his footsteps seemed like it was the most natural thing in the world, as if the blackness had always belong to him. It was carved into his name, his existence and etched deep into his being.
Was this the same darkness I'd always felt since the moment I met him? The mystery and secrecy I had been unable to touch, yet had always suspected of it's presence. Only now I had proof of it, as it finally manifested into the scene in front of me that was so unsettling that it shook me to the core.
He screams again. And I finally got it.
This had always been Jasper, a part of him at least. The darkness, the bitterness, the hollowness. But one thing I didn't know was, why.
What was rattling him so much to the point that he became like this?
What I have come to know so well about Jasper was, the more I thought I knew about him, the more I find out later that there are even more things I don't know about. And it was always the key explanations that I was missing. The most important of details.
"DID YOU KNOW?!" He screeched into the air suddenly and a cold shiver ran down my back.
"Look I had no idea, honestly!" Lea cries out. He snarls in response, eyes like daggers, and body redacted like a deadly wolf locked in a duel.
"Please, Jasper try and calm down. Let's rationalize."
What was going on?
What were they talking about? I wanted to say something but I hesitated.
Lea attempting to get closer to him. "Jasper, let's just talk–"
"STAY BACK! FUCK!" He lashes out, chest rising and falling rapidly, staggering and shaking as he paced along the road. "GET AWAY FROM ME RIGHT NOW! LET ME THINK! Let me think..."
His icy eyes had taken on another form. It was as if they were alight with blue flames – burning purest and hottest fire to exist on Earth. There was pain in the rage they burnt.
Trauma even.
Was it Annie?
The news of Annie's condition was distressing, it shook all of us here tonight, even those who didn't know her personally but have came to the event to support her and the cause.
Was this the sole reason he was behaving this way?
Lea flinched back from his words, looking hesitant herself. But she quickly regained composure and then she daringly took a few steps forward to him, ignoring the growls he was making. It was almost like she'd been in this position before.
She puts her slender hands onto his arms as he continued to breathe heavily, his face contouring into all shapes of anguish. He shrinks away from the contact as she begins to stroke his arms, hushing him into silence.
"It's okay Jasper, it's okay. You'll be alright... I'm here." She hushed softly. "I'm here for you, I'll make it better. " She continues, stroking his back as if she'd always done while he continued to hyperventilate.
Mr Green blinked many times at the floor and I could see him trying to steady himself with deep breaths. She begins to wrap her arms around his body, resting her head on his and slowly, while his fire began to mellow, I felt the green of jealousy begin to build inside me, taking over my sense of logic.
What the fuck? This was surely no time to be jealous when he was so obviously in so much pain, I thought angrily at myself whilst shame crept up my neck as I fought against the open desire to rip her away from him.
She was obviously doing something right. It just hurt for some selfish reason of mine to know that Lea understood the situation and therefore can comfort him better than I can. I wasn't given the chance.
It bothered me to see him in her arms. And then it bothers me more that it bothered me in the first place.
God Rose, you're a fucking dumbass. It's bloody selfish of me to think this way.
I should just leave –
*snap*
A twig under my foot suddenly snaps in half and I freeze.
I had been instinctively going forward without noticing.
Oh my god.
Instantly they twist their heads around, Lea in shock and Mr Green... in pure...
Repulsion.
His gaze was what cut the most. It was as if it was full of hatred and disgust. I was confused, did he not recognize it was me ?
"Hey, is e-everything okay?" I asked, my voice cracking as I took a step forward, trembling with nervous energy. At the same time without warning, a frosty gust of wind swept into the carpark blowing my hair into my eyes and causing the tassels at the bottom of my dress to whip wildly against my legs causing red slashes to form.
Lea leaned into Jasper, shielding the both of them with her back, almost as if she was trying to protect him from me than the wind. And he let her. He grabbed onto her slender arms like he had no energy left to stand on his own and she pulls his head to her chest.
Another slither of pain seared through my heart.
I took a gulp and swallowed. "W-what's wrong– "
"What are you doing here?" Lea shoots at me.
I took a deep breath, determined to not back down. "I came and I saw Jasper –"
This time it was Jasper who cuts me off.
"Leave."
The tone of his voice was laced with pure animosity. That, paired with the relentless look of loathing caused another spine curling shiver to go down my body and I tried my best again to ignore the stabbing pains of betrayal I felt before taking another step forward.
He can't be mad at me right? He's just going through something really terrible right now and it's just affecting him. He doesn't mean it. I rationalized with myself.
"I'm warning you."
Didn't he texted that he wanted to see me? If so, why was he looking at me that way his is right now? It's almost as if it he hated me –
I shook my head. "N-no. You said that we should work things out–"
"LEAVE NOW!!!"
"B-but Jasper, I want to help. You never gave me a chance, You said you'd explain it all to me... " I begin, sounding even more desperately now and I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say in front of Lea but I continued on until there was only a few arms length between us all.
"FUCKING STAY BACK ROSE!" He yells at me again, pulling back slightly as Lea blares her teeth in my directions.
"Just go Rose. You wouldn't understand anyway." She shakes her head and says icily into the wind.
I clenched my fists tightly by my side as my eyes began to erupt with tears.
"Why can't you just tell me?" My face was burning up with heat.
"Don't start." Mr Green threatens through gritted teeth as Lea tightens her protective grip around his head, but I don't listen. I don't want to listen! Didn't he say there was no Lea and that it was just me? Why was he there with her and not me? Forget it, I don't care about Lea I just want to know what was wrong so I could help him.
"Is it Annie?" I called out dangerously. My heart was kicking rapidly in my chest as I knew I was openly defying him about something incredibly sensitive. Selfish.
"DON'T... say any more. " Jasper warns, raising his hellish voice again and I hear alarms bells going off in my head telling me not to continue. But I can't help it. I want to be here, I want to help!
Seeing as I was already caught, I should do something at least. Even if I wasn't entirely sure if I could be of any use, I mean I think the best would be for us to wait for news from the hospital to see how Annie was doing, they hadn't turned off the life support machine yet. There was still hope!
"I know, it must've been a shock. We didn't know that Father Andrews was gonna be here at all and especially to deliver that message. I know it took me off guard and everyone else, how about you Lea?" I start to babble, sprouting off random thoughts that had been playing around in my mind at that moment.
A few tears slide down my face as I try to remember that anything Jasper does or say in response may just be his coping mechanism. Even if I didn't know exactly what was going on, I know that he wasn't being this way on purpose...
"What the hell are you on about? Shut up and go back."
Lea snarls at me and I brush it off, nervously letting my mouth run.
"I don't know why he wasn't invited in the first place especially since he's such a big part of Annie's life," I chuckled sadly with regret whilst I continuing to ignore the strong daggers Lea was now shooting at me.
I was just trying to remain hopefully. "I mean, at my parent's restaurant when guys came you, I approached you guys about attending charity ball, it was father Andrews was the first to suggest making it into a story on Mission Report, so it doesn't make sense that he wasn't invited. Maybe you could've askedhim – "
"Rose, shut the fuck up right now!" She finally says before turning to Jasper. I pause mid word and watched her grab his face with her hands, instantly attempting to reassure him as his face had gone pale again. "I don't know what she's talking about, we never went to her restaurant, especially with him."
I look back at them, as confusion wore into my face at her blatant deception.
What the hell was she saying?
"Yes... Yes you did! A few times." I objected.
"No, Rose. We fucking didn't, why are you telling stupid little lies? Now's not the right time. Can't you see no one wants you here? He doesn't, I clearly don't. Stop trying to wedge yourself into a situation you have no idea about, it's not happening."
This time, I was forced to look away from her gaze. I had no idea how fierce and intimidating Lea could be when she wanted... She was a vixen with a talent of getting what she wanted, and I guess she really had a point. I didn't know a thing...
"B-but I'm not lying..." I disputed in the smallest voice while my heart sank. Hell, would he even believe me, especially when she was so convincing? And even more so since he was already in her arms so fast...
Hearing all this, Mr Green turns his head my way, his eyes glistening with water under the fan of his dark hair covering parts of his head. "What do you mean?"
"NOTHING! She meant nothing! Can't you see she's just trying to stir shit up?" Lea cuts in before I could say another word.
"No, shut up. Is this t-true? Lea? Did you visit their restaurant with Father Andrews?" Jasper lifts his head off her chest for a second and looks at her. His eyes were wide as a doe, glazing with fear as he anticipated her reaction. She looks down at him, shocked.
"No, let me rephrase... have you been meeting with him all this time?" He asked, sounding a little more frantic now.
Lea opens her mouth and stutters. "I-I... N-no. I–"
"LEA?" He shakes her as she struggled to get words out into a coherent sentence.
Her lost words was enough for him.
"YOU LIAR!" Mr Green breaks out of Lea's grasp and stumbled out into the carpark. "YOU HAVE BEEN DECEIVING ME ALL THIS TIME!" She tries to runs after him but he continues to back away and in his haste trips over his feet, sending him tumbling onto the ground. "All these years, you know how it was. You know how it fucking was." He cried painfully as a few gashes grazed his arms.
Lea shrieks and attempts to ask if he was okay after the fall. I move forward too but stop myself as soon as I see her already there by his side, reaching down towards his shoulder.
"NO! BOTH OF YOU, GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" He screams crawling away backwards from the two of us, staring crazily like we were the ones who had sprouted an extra head.
"Jasper, let me explain. It's not like that! I can make it better, I can make you better." She coos, reaching her hands out to him as she tries to get closer. "I always make you better, remember all those times?"
"NO, LEAVE ME ALONE!!! YOU KNOW HOW IT WAS!" he laments over and over, sounding more and more delirious as he backs away on the floor until his back hits the wheel of a parked car. From there, he picks himself up and runs off into the night taking with him my all of my heart and pity.
From a distance we hear his tire screeches as he races out onto the road in his car erratically leaving Lea and I stunned and speechless. The darkness of his dread continued to linger along the asphalt as a heavy sense of emptiness lay in his wake, long after his depature.
Lea turns around and storms over to me angrily.
"Look what you fucking did, this is all your fault!"
"W-what do you mean? I was just trying to help!"
"I had it under control until you came along with your big fat mouth!" She spites, giving me a rough push on the shoulder with her nails. I stagger back slightly, hurt. I wasn't expecting her to actually touch me or push.
"Now you made it all worse! Look how he was? Do you really think in that stupid mind of yours that you helped in the slightest? Hope you're happy getting your one second of attention from him, you fucking bitch. Who do you think you are?" She crossed her arms. I shrug.
"I didn't mean to do anything bad, I didn't know this would happen." I interjected while trying to come to terms with the harsh words she was suddenly saying. Was she always like this?
I choosing to ignore the fact that she pushed me as I refused to make a deal of it now. I'd rather not let her have the satisfaction of knowing much her rudeness was affecting me.
"Happy now?" She struts past and heading towards the school, however not without making sure to meanly bump my shoulder this time with even more force than her jab before. It knocks me over and I land on the road with a thud, a few rocks from the asphalt stab into my palms sending a wave of pain shooting up my arm.
Okay fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
I stared up after her in utter disbelief while she smirks at me while I helplessly lay on the floor. It must've delighted her to see me at her feet, and I watched as her eyebrows lift up in victory as she leers at my watering eyes. Guess she was finally satisfied that her handy job produced something.
But seriously though, this grown woman felt that she had to do that?
Wasn't she going to at least say something more productive?
Finally after channeling the inner anger and confusion I felt, I decided to speak up. "Why the hell would I be happy?" I growl back at her. "Anyway, shouldn't someone go after him? What if he crashes his car on the way to the hospital, I mean I don't think he'll be able to focus on the road in his current state of mind."
Lea could yell and push me another day, tell me to climb a thousand ladders to hold up a million the light reflector and drag all the equipment through dirt and nails next week. But right now, all that mattered was the shell of a man who had left the carpark moments before, and I was increasingly worried that he might get into an accident.
She continues to look down smugly at me for a moment longer and with a click of her tongue, she says: "just give him a few days or so, he'll come round eventually, to me." Finally she turns around, flips her golden her and saunters back up the path in the direction of the school. She dismisses me with a wave.
"WAIT! Aren't you going to at least check up on him?!?" I yell back at her retreating body, her hips were swaying in victory with every step she took. "Bitch I can't drive!"
That stops her in place. Lea snaps around and narrowed her eyes at me, scoffing profusely. "What did you just call me?"
I blink...
"He's not going to the hospital, you dumb whore! God, you really don't know anything about him, do you?" She taunts and my face burns in shame. It was true.
I really didn't know anything, and today was another thing that proved it. But then again, I'd always known that I knew little about him – No, we both knew that we didn't know enough about each other. But we thought we could work through things together, slowly. Now it was apparent that there was a major flaw in this agreement, and this flaw was revealing itself in the most destructive manner when it truly mattered.
"No," I murmured quietly.
"Exactly, you think you're so smart huh? This wasn't about Annie at all," she laughs at me and I freeze.
Wait, this wasn't about Annie...?
This wasn't about Annie...
I stay frozen for a second before my body shudders. It finally sinks into my thick, stupid skull of mine that it was about Father Andrews.
Holy fffuck I was the biggest idiot in the whole fucking world. The way I carried on and on about him, I wondered what it must have done to him, to be hearing that mans name over and over like that must've been like adding salt to the wound.
As I recalled the night out in town when Jasper and I were laying behind the bush to hide from Lea, I suddenly understood now that he hadn't even seen Father Andrews there with Lea and Simon Worthington all along since they came from a separate car.
So all this time, Mr Green been avoided seeing him? For how long? Years he said?
And just exactly what was it about Father Andrews that just mention of him could send Mr Green berserk? Questions upon questions began to erupt in my brain and I had no idea how I would ever go about find out about them. It wasn't to be any of my business!
"If I go see him now, he'll just kick me out anyway like always does whenever it happens. I'll just return to him after a bit when he's calmed down and all will be good again. So maybe in a week or two, since today's episode seemed worse than usual." She dismisses once more, hiking her dress to walk back up the path.
"Anyway, I've got to go to the hospital to film. Don't worry, he and I will be together again and I'll make real sure he's good, so you're not needed thanks. You can piss off back along with your little school as we're done filming, thank fuck!" Lea disappears, leaving me hanging with her words.
I turn away and stare at the ground.
It was chilling, damp and hard.
How could she be so calm?
She was heartless and cruel. What happened tonight, didn't seem to phase her at all.
Also she was going to the hospital right now to film? Is she crazy? Anything to get that content, huh, the thought of showbiz and doing anything to get the views made me incredibly angry. I imagined poor Annie lying in hospital, with tubes all connecting into her, keeping her alive.
Would they even be allowed to film in the ICU?
My tummy churned dangerously, the contents of the food I devoured so frivolously earlier in the night threatened to come back up and my thoughts returned to the burning blue eyes of the devil I have come to love driving on the lonely dark roads. I prayed that he would be safe and not do anything rash.
_~❤︎~❤︎~❤︎~_
I sigh and get up, dusting myself off from the road before removing the little pebbles that was jammed against my palms. I ignored the small flecks of pain when I flicked them off, leaving small bumpy indents of various sizes and watched as the pebbles skipped and bounced along the ground. My mind was empty.
...
"Rose!"
Someone yell from behind me. I knew who it was... but there was no desire for me to turn around.
Max made his way down to me and grabbed my shoulder, turning me around. He had his coat on.
"Rose, what happened to you? Where'd you go?" He asked, eyes full of concern as he took my appearance in. "I texted you so many times– hey, are you okay. What's wrong?"
"Nothing..." I mumbled, brushing the dirt from my arms in frustration. "Sorry, I had my phone on silent."
"I just saw Lea coming from here. She looked pissed, what's going on?" Max leans in and puts a gentle arm on my shoulder and I look up to him, pursing my lips.
I shook my head, trying not to cry. This time it wouldn't just be of sadness, it would be full of anger too, and confusion, and helplessness... worry... anxiety... heartache. All of the above and more.
"Did you guys get in a fight?"
"Something like that," I sighed. He took my arms and I allow him to lead me back towards the school.
"About Mr Green?"
How did he– My eyes went wide, but I decided to drop it.
I keep my gaze straight on the floor as we walked, my mouth tightly shut. However as a shadow passes Max's face, I knew that he knew.
After a few minutes of silent walking and added tension, he sighed too. I guess he knew it was something I wouldn't elaborate on. And unlike me, he doesn't fucking push issues further to the point where the person has a breakdown because of it.
I was the pathetic one.
Max really was such a nice guy, I should learn more from him.
"Okay, enough of this, let's go."
This time I lifted my head. "Huh, go where?"
"After Father Andrews announcement, the event sort of wasn't the same anymore. We tried to play the rest of our set but it didn't feel right to be so cheerful, so a lot of us are leaving." He explains, taking me down the school corridors instead of to the gym where the event was. "Most of us are planning to meet up somewhere else– kinda holding our own little thing for Annie."
"Oh I see... That's nice..." We continue to walk and it is silent again for a bit before I kick myself to make an effort to talk more. "So, uh. Where is this little event being held??"
"Cassie's house."
"Wait, you said Cassie's house?"
"Yeah, you wanna go? I mean, I could take you back home if you really wanted to."
"I don't think that's such a good idea, she doesn't like me very much..."
"Who cares, she doesn't like anyone. You've seen how we both argue during the committee meetings, we've said way worse things to each other than anything she's said to you."
"What about Mandy and Luke, what happened to them?"
"They're already there."
_~❤︎~❤︎~❤︎~_