MAGGIE STAYS FOR another hour and the excitement of creating her book deal has me buzzing as I meet with our legal team to talk over the details. I want nothing more than to create the perfect body of work with her. Something for the world to fall in love with.
A smile permanently rests on my lips as I step out of my office at the end of the day, my eyes trained on my phone as I text Luke and ask what he's doing. I feel different in the best possible way. Almost like I'm the most whole I've ever been. Everything in my life feels as though it's exactly where it needs to be. I'm exactly where I need to be.
My heart whole once again.
"Hold the elevator!" I call out when I see the doors starting to slide shut again, tucking my phone into my coat pocket. A hand slides between the doors, holding them open for me. "Clark," I say with a small smile as he steps back, giving me to room to step inside.
"Leaving on time for once, Wheeler?" he asks with a teasing smile. "I heard you're drawing up a new contract with the legal team. Does that mean what I think it does?"
I nod. "The author is officially on board."
"And they're okay with putting their name and face out there?" he asks.
"Yes, they've agreed to creating a brand for themselves," I say. "It's Maggie."
He turns to look at me. "Our Maggie?"
"Yeah, her husband submitted the manuscript without her knowledge and she hadn't wanted to at first, but she's changed her mind," I explain. "If you think that it's a bias for me to be working as her editor, we can look into shifting the project to–"
"That's not necessary." He shakes his head. "You've got a good head on your shoulders, Emery. I know you'll keep things strictly professional when it comes to working on the book," he tells me as the elevator doors slide open. "I'm excited to see you work your magic."
My lips curl up as I step onto the lobby floor with him. "Yeah, me too," I say as we head for the exit. The cold wind drawing heat to my cheeks as I turn toward him. "Have a goodnight, Clark. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Wheeler."
There's a skip in my step as I head toward the subway, finding an empty seat as I pull my phone out and find Luke's message waiting for me. The corner of my lips curling up as I tap on his name, bringing up his number on my screen as I press my phone to my ear. A flutter of excitement fills my stomach as I press tighter to the my seat, crossing my legs and press my elbow into my knee.
"Hey there, 4A," Luke says as soon as he answers the phone. "How was work?"
"It was great," I say with a bright smile. "When do you get off work?"
"Not until about two," he says. "You want to come visit me?"
"Do you want me to come visit you?"
"Yes, I would," he says and the honesty makes my heart flutter. This is a Luke that not many people get to experience, but I do. I get the honest side of him that wants to spend more time with me. The one that will sit and stare at me, not saying anything but somehow, saying a million things and it's slowly sewing the pieces that I thought would never fit back together into perfect alignment. "I just want more of you, 4A."
"Well, when you put it like that," I say as I chew my bottom lip. "I want to stop by Zane and Maggie's and check up on them, but then I'll be over, okay?"
"Sounds good," he says. "I'll see you soon."
"Bye Luke," I say as I bring my phone down from my ear, ending the call as the train comes to my stop. I hop up from my seat, moving closer to the doors as the train slows to a stop. My body buzzing as I step onto the subway platform, heading up the stairs and down the block until Zane and Maggie's building is in view.
I use my key to let myself into the lobby and take the elevator up to the fifth floor where their apartment is located, but instead of letting myself in the way I would have before, I stop and knock on the wooden door. There's a gentle sway in my step as I tuck my hands into the pockets of my coat, pulling the ends closer together as I wait for one of them to answer the door.
"Hey Em," Zane says as he opens the door, taking a step back to let me inside. "What are you doing here?"
"I was just coming to check up on you," I say, turning toward him as he shuts the apartment door. "How's Maggie?"
"She's... okay," he says as he runs his fingers into his hair, settling on the armrest of the couch. "She's asleep right now. She's... I don't know. She's going to be okay. I just think she needs some time."
"And you?" I ask. "How are you doing?"
"Honestly? I'm sad, but I'm trying to stay strong for Maggie," he admits. "She's beating herself up about this, and it's not her fault. It'll never be her fault, but I know that's something she has to work out on her own. I just want her to be okay."
"She will be," I tell him. "And it's okay for you to be sad, too."
He nods and offers me a weak smile. "Thank you for being there for her yesterday."
"Always," I say. "You are my best friends. I'd do anything for you."
"How are things with you and Luke?" he asks, changing the subject.
"Good," I say. "He's been really patient with me. I'm going to meet him at the bar, actually. I just wanted to stop in and see how you were holding up."
"We're doing okay," he assures me. "Thanks for checking in, Em."
My lips curl up as he stands back up, opening his arms as I step towards him. "Call me if you need anything, okay?" I ask.
"I will." He nods as he walks towards the door, pulling it open for me. "Say hi to Luke for us," he says with a gentle tease in his voice. I stick my tongue out at him as I step into the hall, heading for the elevator. The air is cold as it whips against my skin, walking further down the street until the bright neon bar sign comes into view.
Luke is standing behind the bar mixing a drink when I step inside, the same guy who found me in line the first night I came tending the door. He flashes me a look of recognition and lets me in without carding me. The corners of Luke's lips lift when he spots me, sliding the drink to the customer before grabbing a clean glass and heading closer to me.
"Hey, 4A," he says as he stops in front of me. "What will it be?"
"Surprise me," I tell him as I slip my coat around the back of the bar stool, bringing my bag onto my lap as I dig through it for my notebook. "How has your day been?"
"Better now that you're here."
I lift my gaze from the contents of my purse and shake my head at him. "Have you always been this corny? Or is that just for me?"
"Just for you," he says with a grin. "How was work?" he asks as he turns to the back of the bar, grabbing a bottle of clear alcohol off the shelf.
"It was good," I tell him, smiling as I pull my notebook out and rest it on the bar in front of me before resting my bag between my back and the chair. "It was really good, actually. Do you remember that book I was telling you about?"
"Yeah, The Way We Were, right?" he asks. My lips cur up a little wider when he remembers. "Did they get back to you?"
I nod my head. "It's Maggie."
"Your best friend, Maggie?"
"Yeah! Zane submitted her manuscript anonymously and I just found out. She wasn't having it at first, but she came around and has agreed to let us publish it. I started the contract with the legal time this afternoon."
"That's fantastic, 4A."
"It is, isn't it?" I ask as he sets the short glass in front of me. The rim dusted in cinnamon, my senses instantly warmed by the vanilla scent as I study it. "What's this?"
"It's new," he says. "I'm calling it The 4A. Sweet and a little bitter."
"I am not bitter."
"You were a little bitter when we met," he tells me, holding his index and thumb a few centimeters apart. "Just a little."
I roll my eyes but bring the cup up to my lips. A soft sigh falling from my lips as I take in the sweet tasting vanilla drink complimented by gentle notes of bitterness. "That's really good."
"It's almost like I know you or something."
"I wouldn't go that far." I tease but the truth is, he's right. I don't know when it happened exactly, but my walls came down around him with ease and he's had hold of my heart ever since.
It's his.
Even if I never planned for it. Even if I don't know how to say it out loud. I gave it to him a long time ago. Way longer than I'll ever admit to.
"What's this?" he asks, tapping his middle finger gently against the cover.
"It's my quotes journal," I tell him, opening to the bookmarked page where I pick up the pen and write out the line I saw in the book store window on the way over.
He lifts his eyebrow at me. "Your what?"
"My quotes journal," I repeat. "It's all the words I've ever fallen in love with since I was sixteen-years-old. Every time I find a quote I like in a book, or even just, you know how some business' have things written in their windows?" I ask and when he nods, I continue, "Those too. They're all in here."
"That sounds like quite the mission," he says. "Can I see?"
I nod my head as he takes it and take another sip of my drink as he opens to a random page. He smooths his fingertips over my writing, taking the words in before looking up at me.
"I am so in love with you," he says and for a second, I stop breathing before he looks down and continues, "Everything just feels right around you."
"Yeah, I, um..." I trail off, unable to finish my thought because for a second I thought he was saying the words to me. Not reading them, but admitting them with his whole being.
He smiles and makes my heart seize. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No," I say but I feel like I'm suffocating as he sets my book down in its spot before walking around the bar. He rests his hand on the back of my stool and turns it until I'm facing him. My lips part to ask him what he's doing, but I know before he reaches his hand to my cheek. His fingertips rough from years of playing guitar.
"I really want to kiss you, 4A."
I lift my head a bit, holding his gaze as he leans towards me. "Luke," I whisper his name in a silent whine as I lift my hand, curling my fingers into the collar of his t-shirt. "We... we shouldn't," I tell him despite wanting nothing more than to close the space between us.
He leans until my forehead is rested against his chin. The distance—no matter how little—killing both of us. "Friends don't kiss."
I hum in agreement. "Friends."
"I don't wanna be your friend anymore, 4A."
I lean my head back to look at him again. "You're making it really hard to want to stay your friend," I tell him, biting down on my bottom lip. Luke's thumb moving to the corner of my mouth, forcing me to let go of it.
"Then don't stay my friend," he says.
I move my hand from his shirt to his jaw, tracing my fingertip over his skin. "I need to be," I say. "I know I'm asking a lot of you, Luke."
He shakes his head, dropping his hand. "You're not ready," he says. "I can wait."
"Are you sure?"
"I'd wait a lifetime for you, 4A."