'We won't be able to leave tonight, the roads are blocked due to protest at various points' Karim Sir informed me after he got off the phone while we were distributing care packages in a close knitted neighborhood later in the evening.
'Why... what happened?' I asked him when we got out of the house after interacting with the family that we went to go see to give winter clothes and some school and household supplies. Meeting each family along the way brightened my day more and more, up until now when I heard the news about the protest.
'It's not confirmed, I just know it's some type of a political protest' He told me. Saba and Mr.Hamza were in the house few blocks away so we decided to go and tell them the news.
'There is no other way for us to leave from here?' I asked Karim Sir on our drive back to the hotel. We didn't exactly know where the protest was taking place, so we decided to head back to avoid any problem and get more information to plan our journey back home.
Once we got to the hotel, the receptionist told us that the protest could last for a few days and that all major highway and roads out of this area were blocked.
'This is not good, Haya must be so worried. I shouldn't have come here' I picked up my phone and called her to tell her what was going on. I was afraid that she'll be upset with me for leaving her with Hafiza Aunty but she told me that she saw the news and knew what was happening.
'I am so sorry...none of this would have happened if I stayed...' I said to her over the phone.
'Don't worry about me...I am absolutely fine here, Hafiza Aunty is taking very good care of me. Just keep us informed.' Haya passed the phone to Hafiza Aunty and I talked to her to make sure everything was okay.
'Thank you so much Hafiza Aunty...I'll call you later' I ended the call and went back to the main lobby where everyone was waiting for me.
'Sorry it took longer than expected' I sat down next to Saba and caught Mr.Hamza looking at me from across the hallway.
'What are they doing?' I asked her.
'They want to go to a hill station nearby' She informed me.
'What right now? It's almost 7' I looked at her. There was a protest going on and they were making a plan to go sightseeing already?
'I am not going' I told her.
'We are going' Mr.Hamza clapped his hands together when he made the announcement.
'Enjoy' I got up to leave but he stepped forward to block my way.
'We means us and it includes you' He looked down on me. I could see Karim Sir slightly smiling from behind him.
'I am tired' I told him and crossed my arms over my chest.
'No, you are not, you are just making excuses' He replied and followed my gesture.
'Mr. Hamza...' I opened my mouth to tell him to back off, but he snatched my bag from my hand and started walking outside the hotel towards the car. I followed him outside, while Karim Sir and Saba stood still and did nothing to help me.
'Why did you even come here if you were going to be such a spoilsport?' He suddenly stopped walking and I bumped into him. I immediately took a step back from him and he turned around to look at me.
'Can I please get my bag Mr.Hamza?' I told you I won't be coming along...can I leave now?' I extended my hand to take the bag from him, but he didn't hand it back to me.
'You shouldn't ask me this question Ayat' He replied in a serious tone and my eyes shot up to meet his.
'You want to keep the bag? Then keep it' I quickly looked away from him and walked back inside the hotel.
'What happened?' Saba and Karim Sir were standing close to the main entrance when they saw me marching in furiously.
'He is...Saba...sometimes I wish I could just...he is driving me crazy...I told him I won't go, and he took my bag and now he is not even giving me my bag back' I told her.
'We'll be back before midnight Ayat and it's not like we'll be the only ones there...it's a famous hill station filled with tourists...there is nothing to fear, come on' Karim Sir spoke last and tried to convince me.
'Please, Ayat...it's my first time here. I want to see more places, please?' Saba looked at me puppy eyes.
'Fine...but we are coming back before midnight or I swear I'll walk back here myself' I told them, and they laughed thinking I was joking but I wasn't. We went back to the car and Mr.Hamza purposely opened the door for me as if he was telling me the infamous line I told you so in a loudspeaker. Before closing the door shut, he handed me my bag back and walked to the driver seat with a huge smirk on his face.
'What happened to your hand?' Karim Sir said to my Mr.Hamza and my eyes shifted to his hand. There was a dark bruise on the back of his hand.
'It's nothing' He shrugged.
'The power went off in one of the houses when we were giving away the packages, he burned his hand when he was lightening up an oil lantern' Saba told us.
'It's nothing serious' Mr.Hamza said right away.
'Does it hurt?' I asked him and he looked at me through rear view mirror.
'I'll live' He nodded in my direction. I looked in my bag and thankfully found a small antiseptics cream.
'Please put this on' I passed it forward to Mr.Hamza.
'Ayat...I am...' He started to speak but this time I cut him off.
'Please, Mr.Hamza can you for once not argue with me and take this?' I pushed my hand further out and he took the tube out of my hand without saying anything.
'You carry a whole emergency kit in your bag Ayat?' Karim Sir teased me, and Saba slowly chuckled at me.
'You are driving awfully slow man' Karim Sir said after a while and my attention transferred from talking to Saba to Mr.Hamza.
'I thought I was the only one who felt that' Saba added.
'I like it this way, don't worry we'll be there in a few minutes' Mr.Hamza's turned his head to the side and I felt like he was trying to say something to me. As if he was trying to make this journey go on as long as possible. Minutes later we arrived at the hill station and we booked a small sitting area in a huge green lawn near a beautiful resort.
'It's a never-ending beauty, I feel like everywhere I look it's a painting' Saba was mesmerized by the beauty of the place and so was I.
'You have just scratched the surface...there are tons of other beautiful places to visit in this area' I told her.
'We'll come back here' Karim Sir said to Saba and her eyes gleamed with pure joy.
'Look at you too...I am so happy for both of you...we all deserve to get the best from this life now don't we Ayat?' Mr.Hamza shoot me with a hard look. I stared back at him a moment longer before shifting my attention back to Saba. He wanted to see me react, but I wasn't going to let him win.
'You guys honestly look perfect together...this is how it should be. We could all definitely learn something from you guys' He added while his eyes remained on me. That's it, I got on my feet and walked to his chair.
'Mr. Hamza...come with me' I said quietly.
'Lead the way' He responded with full confidence as if he was prepared for my reaction and followed me to the side of the resort.
'Why do you do this all the time?' I demanded.
'What do you think? You are smart...you should know by now' He responded, I could his feel his intense gaze on me while I looked ahead towards the mountains.
'I don't know' I said.
'You don't know...and why do you act the way you do around me? Why do you care about the stupid burn on the back of my hand? Why do you ask me if it hurts? Why did you invite me to your house when I told you about Tooba...? Why did you tell me to move on? Why did you hug me that day in the hospital? Or...when I tell you to do something, you disagree to prove a point but still end up listening to me every time?' I turned around to look at him when he asked me all these questions. He narrowed his eyes and waited for my reply.
'I don't know' I repeated, trying to keep my emotions intact.
'You don't know...or you don't want to know?' He said to me.
'I don't know' I kept saying the same thing.
'If I tell you something will you listen? Don't think or cut me off...just listen. Can you do that for me?' He asked me.
'Listen to what?' I rested my back against the tree to keep myself steady. I felt like I was ready to lose my balance any second.
'To your heart...because I listened to mine and that's why I am here...that's why I am standing right here with you' He began to come closer to me, but I couldn't move away from him this time. Maybe because I knew our goodbye was coming closer and I'll never feel this way ever again with anyone else my entire life.
'You are wrong about me...you overestimated me since the beginning Mr.Hamza' I whispered and in a blink of an eye, he took a step closer to me and placed both of his hands on each side the trunk, around me, trapping me between him and the tree.
'Please move back Mr.Hamza...I need some space' I tried to push his hands away but he didn't move an inch.
'Why are you crying?' He whispered to me.
'Let me go Mr.Hamza' I kept trying to push him away.
'What are you doing Ayat? I really don't understand you' He brought his hand near my face and grabbed my chin to make me look at him.
'I don't want you...your words suffocate me sometimes Mr.Hamza...everything was so easy before you showed up. You turned my life into such a mess...stop with this nonsense...I don't want you, do you hear me? Stop following me' I yelled and suddenly his hands fell down and he stepped back from me.
'This is it Ayat...no more going back and forth...so listen to me carefully, if you tell me to stay, I'll stay and if you tell me to leave, you'll never see my face again' His face looked tensed and I thought I'll pass out, I narrowed my eyes at him to stay focused, the image of him blurred when tears welled up in my eyes.
'Say it' He demanded.
'Now Ayat, this is it' He warned me.
'Leave' My stomach churned when I said that, feeling a severe headache all of a sudden. I just couldn't stand there anymore so I walked past him to go back to Saba and Karim Sir to ask them to take me back to the hotel so I could shut myself inside the room and not see Mr.Hamza until it's time for us to leave from this torturous place.
'I need to go' I swallowed hard.
'Hey...' Saba hurried towards me when she saw me and placed her arm over my shoulder.
'Can we go?' I wiped the tears from my face.
'Yes, Ayat...we'll leave. Give me a second' Karim Sir excused himself and went to go see Mr.Hamza. While he was gone, I told Saba what happened and thankfully she didn't give me an extreme reaction. She just listened.
'You don't seem fine Ayat' She commented a while later.
'I will be' I took a deep breath to find relief but only felt pain.
'He'll be staying here at the resort ...we can go' Karim Sir stated once he joined us and we all went to the car to drive back to the hotel. I wanted to ask him about Mr.Hamza but left the thought unattended once I realized that I had no right to be concerned about him. I was the one who broke even the weakest tie we had with each other.
Once we reached the hotel, I went and took a shower and when I got dressed and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, I saw a reflection of an anxious girl who was on a verge of breaking.
'I did listen to my heart Mr.Hamza. I just couldn't follow it' I said to myself. He was right, this was it. There was no going back and forth from this point onwards. Everything we had, good or bad. It ended.
Just as I got out of the bathroom, we heard a loud knock at our door and when Saba opened the door Karim Sir came rushing inside our room.
'I just got a call...Hamza...he...he got shot...we have to go to the hospital, hurry' He cried and I held on to the side table to process what he had just said, I felt my breaths getting shorter. We hurried to the car and drove to the nearest hospital which thankfully wasn't that far from the resort Mr.Hamza decided to stay in for the night.
'Don't you ...I am so sorry Hamza I didn't mean what I said...please don't' I prayed over and prayed until we finally reached the hospital. Everything that was going on in the hospital felt like life was repeating itself. I sat in the waiting area and stared ahead, numbed and hushed. Every time I visited the hospital I lost someone I loved. The conversation I had with Mr.Hamza played in my head time after time and I hated myself more and more. While trying to protect my own heart, I ended up destroying his.
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Hello to the beautiful creatures of the world!
I hope you'all are doing fantastic. As always, if you enjoyed this chapter, please don't forget to vote and leave your comments. It would mean so much to me <3
Thanks for ready and I'll catch you guys again next week :)