In the pit of the night, sitting in the dark, cold room on a flimsy mattress, I rocked Zara and Aymaan to and fro. My eyes transfixed on the door, tears rolled down my cheek nestling into Zara's hair. I had to manage my emotions. All I wanted to do was scream and pull my hair out. Breaking down in front of them was not possible. How long would I have to sit here? Who do I turn to? Should I step outside and grab my phone? What if Suhel was sitting out there, waiting for me? I couldn't risk it.
"Is he coming back auntie?" Zara asked terrified and unable to fall sleep. I hushed her, her worries multiplying mine. Would Zayn return? He probably wouldn't for a few nights. I couldn't stay here alone anymore, it wasn't safe.
Eventually, Zara dropped off to sleep in my lap. I held her for comfort and warmth. In the silence I listened to my erratic breaths, the bitter stench of betel paan plastered in my nostrils. The seams in my sleeves torn and a sharp pain along my throat. Downstairs, the commotion continued of music, conversation and clattering of pans. Suhel could return with his friends, his work colleagues; I was outnumbered.
With no concept of time, rocking in and out of sleep, the sound of knocks on the door jolted me upright. Zara snored softly in my lap and the knocks grew louder sending my heart to accelerate.
"He's back!" I gasped, breathing erratically. "Please go away." I whispered begging.
The knocking persisted, this time it was hard with short kicks at the bottom of the door. Suhel pushed the door open with force, the chest of drawers moved slightly, he'd returned with superpowers, stronger than before. Putting Zara down, I jumped to my feet and pushed the chest of drawers hard against the door with all my force and might, but he was stronger holding the door ajar.
"Daddy!" Zara woke and cried. "I want my daddy!" She screamed out waking Aymaan from his deep sleep.
"Go away! Leave us alone!" I cried out.
Zara screamed unable to cope with the fear, and escalation. The harder I pushed, the stronger he pushed back.
"Go away!" I yelled.
"Zorro! What's going on?"
It was Zayn!
Relief coursed my body and like waterfall, tears drowned my eyes. I stepped back allowing Zayn to push the door open. There he was, six-foot-tall, filling the doorway with his hulking figure sporting a black bomber hat with brown and grey bear-like fur.
"The bad man came!" Armaan said.
"He was kicking the door, daddy!" Zara added.
Zayn looked at me for an answer, an explanation. The moment I opened my lips I broke down in tears unable to speak. I snatched his t-shirt and fell into him holding onto his strong figure quivering in tears.
"What's wrong?" he placed his hands on my arms.
I couldn't speak. I sobbed into his gritty t-shirt breathing in gulps of a familiar earthy smell broken into pieces. I wasn't strong enough to keep up the façade. Zayn held me by the shoulders and slanted me back.
"What happened?" His tone flustered furnaced with anger.
My cotton kameez torn from the seams, he tilted my chin looking at the marks on my neck. I didn't know the extent of the bruises and scratches until later that night.
"Zo'hra!" What happened? What is Zara talking about?"
My stomach twisted with bile when I thought of Suhel rubbing up against me. His words ringing in my ear. He won't believe you. You're a lying bitch like you're sister.
"Tell me!" Zayn growled.
"We can't stay here Zayn. We have to leave." I dried my red puffy eyes with the back of my hand.
Rushing into the bedroom, in a dash of panic I began to fill the bags with clothes. Something seriously bad was about to happen. I could feel in my gut, we had to leave.
"We have to go tonight. It's not safe here." Feverishly, I rushed around for their clothes forcing it into black bags perpetuating Zayn's anger. He snatched me by the arm and dragged me into the hallway closing the children's bedroom door. His face red with rage, lines formed on his forehead, his hand grip tight around my arms. He leaned in.
"What happened to you?" His tone in a low growl. "Who did this?" He held his hand wide.
I shook my head, unable to speak. "I can't-"
"What happened?!"
"It wasn't my fault. I didn't-" I pleaded to him, staring into his dilated eyes yearning he would trust me.
"Who?!" droplets of spit sprayed into my face forcing me to blink.
"I didn't know what he meant, Zayn. I promise you. I didn't. I wanted to help you I was-thinking-he said-it was good-not to say-I don't know-"
"Who did this?" He raised his arms above his head flicking his head back fighting to contain his anger which would be directed at me.
"He said he wanted to arrange a payment plan."
"Who?"
"The landlord."
"Mr Miah?"
"No-his son."
Zayn balled his hands in fists.
"He fixed the boiler and the heating in th-the kitchen." I pointed recalling the moment he sat on the floor playing with the children. "Then he said you couldn't pay the rent and he wanted to arrange a payment plan." At this moment I reached for his mahogany woody brown leather jacket beseeching his compassion and understanding. He wasn't looking at me-he glared at the kitchen door.
"I promise you Zayn, I thought he meant money. Please, you have to believe me." I held onto him forcing him to look into my eyes and believe me.
"Then?
"I wanted to help you. Tonight, he came here, he wanted me to pay. He tried to-" I sobbed. "I didn't know what he meant. Maybe it was my fault."
"What did he do!?" He growled.
"He said he wasn't going to let us stay here for free and wanted me to pay-as soon as I knew what he meant, I freaked out. I was terrified Zayn. I cried. He wanted me to-"
Zayn turned away, he looked into the lounge, his arms above the door.
"He didn't want money, he wanted........." I couldn't say it. The words wouldn't come out of my mouth. I just cried. So I tried again.
"He came into my room when I was sleeping and tried to- I said no-but he pushed me onto the mattress and then-" I broke into tears.
"He was all over me, if Aymaan didn't come in he would have gone all the way. He would have-" with my face buried in my hands I sobbed.
The laughter from below the floorboards ricocheted in my broken sobs, like they were all sitting around a table and relishing my misery. When I removed my hands from my damp face, Zayn wasn't there. I held my breath looking around for him. I opened the children's bedroom door and they were all nestled on the mattress under their blanket with fear in their eyes.
"It's okay." I cried in a quivering voice.
"I want Naani!" Zara pleaded.
I kissed her forehead and assured her that everything would be okay. Another lie. From below the floorboards, I heard a yell, like a war cry proceeded by shouts and clattering of pots and pans. It was Zayn.
"Zara, you be good for auntie. Okay. Don't go anywhere. Stay here." I ordered her.
Quickly, I raced down the steps and made my way into the shop. Customers grabbed their bags and half eaten food and ran out the take away in fear. Inside tables and chairs were in turned pside down and shouting emerging from behind the counter.
Behind the counter, four men scrambled together like a rugby scrum, wrestling and grappling. Zayn roared from beneath the men who held him down hurled the men in all four directions standing up erect. Another man grabbed Zayn from behind holding onto his neck. Zayn pivoted round and grabbed Mr Miah and headbutted him solid in the centre of his forehead knocking the old man unconscious. Standing barefoot on the cold tiles, with my hands spread across my mouth I gasped in astonishment at Zayn's wrath. The sheer power in his fist was lethal knocking the men out in one blow. There was no stopping him. Suhel cowered under the kitchen unit.
"I'm gonna kill the bastard!" Zayn yelled punching another man in the mouth as he dropped like a fly. Grabbing Suhel's leg, Zayn dragged him out from under the counter, but Suhel smacked a rolling pin on Zayn's head throwing him off his feet. Another man came from behind and began kicking Zayn.
"Stop it!" I screamed. "Stop it!" Someone had to stop the carnage. Zayn was down and four men continued to kick and punch him. With a mighty kick, Zayn knocked Suhel off balance and he fell smacking his head against the wall. With Zayn back on his feet, the other men backed away in fear. One man took his mobile phone and escaped through the back exit. Zayn towered above Suhel and glowered down at Suhel forming his hands into fists. Suhel held his hands up protecting his face.
"I didn't do anything-" He whimpered. "I helped you out. I'm your mate. It's me!" Suhel waved his hands at him trying to wake Zayn from his trance of destruction. With blood dripping from his lips, his teeth smeared in blood, Zayn looked at me. His growl melted into a look of sadness, grief which powered his bloody fist, raising it above his shoulder delivering a almighty punch in Suhel's mouth. Zayn dragged Suhel to his feet from his collars, and head butted him with the front of his head.
"You dirty-lying-lying-piece of-shit." With every swear, Zayn threw a punch until Suhel dropped onto the floor like a sack of onions.
"Stop it. Zayn you'll kill him." The violence terrified me.
"You don't fuck with the next man's wife!" Zayn spat his bloodied saliva into his face.
A man sneaked in from behind and raised a baseball bat ready to strike Zayn, I shrieked out pointing to the powerful wooden bat and Zayn grabbed the bat in time. He heaved it out of his hand. The man backed away in terror. Zayn shoved the handle of the stick under his chin. The man whimpered.
"No-leave me!"
"She's asked for it-" Suhel slurred his words an spat out a broken tooth. "She's flirting with me."
Zayn raised the baseball stick and with one blow he could easily kill him.
"No Zayn! Don't!"
I raced over and grabbed his arm holding onto the baseball stick. "You'll kill him." With all my energy, I dragged Zayn away. Another man came and dragged Suhel away from Zayn.
"Leave him alone!" The man yelled. "You will kill him."
"Stop it Zayn. We need to go."
"Yeah-get the fuck out of my flat.." Suhel yelled lying on the floor in an awful bloody mess.
"She wanted to pay me-" Suhel mocked-"You couldn't pay me, so she wanted to help you out-"
Zayn grabbed the chair and raised it above his head, ready to hurl it at Suhel, Suhel hid under the counter and Zayn smashed the chair against the front window. The window shattered into smithereens. Zayn destroyed the glass counter, he pulled the television screen from the wall and smashed it onto the ground stamping the screen with his boots. He whacked the baseball bat and broke the cameras. Glass littered the entire shop floor and I stood in the centre, barefoot.
"You better fuck off-I'm calling the police." The man who guarded Suhel pressed the phone against his ear. I knew it. The CCTV recorded the entire assault. Zayn would be be arrested.
"Yeah! Go on call them. You think I'm scared." Zayn waved the baseball bat and smacked the counter making his way towards Suhel. "I'll sort the pigs out too!"
No, this was going too far. Zayn would get in trouble with the police. I couldn't risk it.
"Call the police." I retaliated. "-and I'll tell them about what that perverted bastard did tonight! Call them!" I fought back.
The man looked down at Suhel and they stared at each other.
"Zayn, let's go!" I begged him as he stood dripping in blood ready waiting to smash the police with the baseball bat. His hat fallen on the floor, his hair wild an extension of his rage. Blood stained his jacket, his breaths erratic he was ready to destroy anyone who stepped into his path, even the police. I reached up to his bristly jaw and cupped his face forcing him to look down at me.
"Zayn-" I empahsised hoping my voice would will penetrate his wall of rage and cease the thunder which exploded in him.
"Zayn-we have to go."
His dilated green orbs looked through me. He was shaking with fury.
"The children are alone. They're scared, Zayn."
Zayn shook and shurgged away from me. He pointed the baseball bat at Suhel.
"I'll be back-I'm gonna destroy you. You don't fuck with me!" He promised and hurled the bat at him.
When he turned and looked at me, I stood barefoot in the centre of shattered glass, my kameez torn, my hair dishevelled. In the rush of events I didn't realise my tattered state, I felt naked and dishonoured now he was looking at me. I couldn't step in the tiny pieces of glass. Zayn took off his rustic leather jacket and veiled my torn clothes placing the jacket on my shoulders. Insulated with creamy fleece like wool, the jacket softly heated my cold skin. He lifted me from my feet with one hand under my thighs and the other holding my back and carried me with sharp glass crunching under his boots. With my heavy head rested against his chest listening to his heart beating wildly, he carried me upstairs.
***
Back upstairs, there was only way to go. We had to leave. Suhel would call the police. Zayn stood in the hallway, his forehead smeared with blood, his lip dripping with blood.
"We need to go Zayn. Now."
He was transfixed staring at his bloody knuckles.
"The police will be here soon."
There was no movement. No words. He froze. I couldn't lose Zayn. Any moment flashing blue lights and screaming sirens would arrive to arrest Zayn and it would be my fault. He would go to prison for years. I couldn't let this happen. I had to protect him. The police had to know about Suhel's evil intentions; the sexual assault and attempted rape. Somewhere inside the lounge was a camera. The camera I installed to entrap Zayn, could now be used to defend him. I had to get hold of the footage. I had to get in contact with Kash.
For now, we had to leave. I didn't want to be in this flat. Where would we go at this time of night? How would I explain Zayn's blood, cuts and bruises to mum and dad? My torn clothes would horrify mum. I didn't know where, but I did know that I had to get Zayn far away from the flat as possible.