I stood there, waiting for his next words.
Alan was now looking directly into my eyes and try as I might I could not help but to feel so lost within them.
"Look, I do appreciate that things have been, shall we say, rather difficult, you know, as far as............" .
Alan paused slightly then took an inward breath, something I noticed he did when he was about to say something important.
"Well, as far as we are concerned. So I'd like to take this opportunity to try and make amends in some way, If............... Of course you will allow me". He said gently.
I stared at him. Not looking at his eyes any more, but at his lips.
It was hard for me to really take in fully what he had just said.
Did he just tell me that he wanted to make it up to me?
After everything that had gone on, he had actually realised what he'd been putting me through?
My stomach was starting to twist and I felt my breathing becoming more and more shallow with each passing moment.
Then my fingers began to twist and knot themselves together as my nervousness really started to take over.
I swallowed hard and blinked rapidly at him, my eyes now looking back into his again.
"If you wouldn't mind". He began speaking again, "I would consider it a great personal pleasure if you would accompany me to the premier of the film The Veil on Tuesday week".
I swallowed hard again and then blinked even more rapidly at him.
It was a strange sort of feeling that I was very suddenly going through, for although this was what my heart and soul had been actually yearning for, my mind...... My stupid old messed up mind thought there must be some sort of a catch!
I mean there had to be right?
A movie star such as Alan Rickman would not be asking someone like me to go out in the public domain with him surely?
I knew as well as the next person what these sort of events entail.
All full of other celebrities slapping each other on the back congratulating one another on a job well done. Then everyone eyeing up what the other person was wearing, especially the women.
There would be crowds cheering, photographers grappling for the best shot and fans screaming and shouting.
I knew it wouldn't be for me they were yelling for, but people would be wondering who the hell I was!
I also knew that Alan wasn't in this film, so he himself had probably been invited by someone. More than likely somebody else very famous from the movie industry who would not have a clue who I was anyway.
I had the distinct feeling that I would end up being greatly humiliated.
I now felt somehow trapped by his invitation and I couldn't understand why.
This was something that most ordinary, sane people would have jumped at the chance for, but sadly somehow, not me.
I certainly was not at all in my right mind when I looked up at him, blinked a couple of times then replied:
"Oh, you don't have to make anything up to me". I gulped, trying so hard to keep my emotions in check as he continued to look down at me.
I took in another breath.
"It's not as if it's the first time something like this has happened, you know........ me falling for someone who doesn't feel the same way". I went on, in quite a haphazardly kind of way. "It happens to me all the time".
I then found myself faking a smile, as if none of the feelings I had been harboring over the last few weeks and months had really bothered me.
But Alan's eyes had widened and I somehow feared that he'd seen through the facade I was putting up.
"Gwen..... I...". He went to speak.
"No, please". I suddenly interrupted him, "Thank you for the very kind invite, I do appreciate it, really I do............ but it just wouldn't be fair on me, or indeed Silva, so there's no need to try and make things up to me, honestly......... There isn't, coz I'm fine..... Really I am ".
My throat began to constrict as the large lump within it tightened so severely l was now finding it increasingly hard to actually breath let alone say anything more.
I wasn't fine. I was far from it in fact, but meeting Silva tonight had really put paid to any romantic liaisons that I thought I may have been entitled to.
Nothing would ever happen if she was about so I began to move away.
But very suddenly I felt a tightness descend upon the upper part of my bandaged arm as a hand grabbed at me to prevent me from moving any further.
My heart leapt into my throat as fear took flight into every nerve of my poor damaged body as I tried in vain to pull away.
Through the darkness a flashing image of a man was now lowaring himself down onto me, to begin his assault. Gripping me so hard that I was unable to move or even breathe properly. Then pressing his lips down roughly onto mine with his tongue forcing its way inside my mouth. Holding me tightly against my will with his fingers then invading my poor, terrified body. It began to cloud my mind, as all I could now see was Ashcroft Jennings pinning me to the floor.
I yanked my arm away from the grasp in one hurried movement and was surprised at just how easy it was to be free of the grip, but just for good measure I then followed it up with a yell of defiance :
"How dare you take hold of me like that.............Just get off me!". I spat, as I now felt angry and very strong in my ability to look after myself.
The storm that had clouded my vision, my feelings and indeed my anger now started to disperse as quickly as they had gathered and I was now faced with a man with soft, green eyes, a gentle demeanour and an extremely worried looking expression upon his face standing a little way off from me.
"Oh my God....... Alan, I'm so sorry". I apologised immediately as I had now come abruptly to my senses.
I then clasped both my hands over my mouth in absolute horror, realising it was in fact him who had grabbed my arm and not an assailant.
Alan continued to just stand there, a deep furrow was now forming between his attractive green eyes. If I had thought he looked bewildered before, it was nothing like the expression he was giving me now!
He looked so confused and saddened by my angry outburst that I almost expected him to walk right away from me.
But he didn't.
To his credit he remained.
I stepped forward.
"Look, I really am very sorry. I...... I didn't mean you, of course I didn't. I was just startled, that was all, terribly, terribly startled". I apologised again.
Alan placed both his hands into the pockets of his trousers as if to silently tell me that he had absolutely no intention of making a grab for me again!
"I really don't know what came over me". I went on, "It was totally inexcusable". I swallowed hard.
"Maybe, " Alan began to speak, "On this occasion at least, I might ask Miss Hodgson to accompany me instead. However if you do change your mind and you wish to join me, the invitation, of course, still stands". He spoke deliberately.
I took in a breath.
This was awful. I felt so utterly terrible and just didn't know what to say as Alan now turned away, his head lowared and his shoulders slumped somewhat.
Opening my mouth, I went to speak. I wanted to say that I would love to go to the Premier with him after all and that it was extremely thoughtful and kind of him to even consider asking me.
That was exactly how I should have reacted to his request in the first place, not to get all cynical and over thinking everything!
So what if he was with Silva. It had got nothing at all to do with me, besides he had still asked me and if I was trying to protect my emotions from getting hurt by seeing the two of them together, I could have just politely refused without all of this drama.
I continued to watch as Alan had now reached his trailer and an immense feeling of just running up to him and wanting to tell him that I really would love to go with him to the Premier came over me!
What an absolute idiot I had been!
Why couldn't I have just said that before!
I could kick myself.
Maybe I just should go up to him now, before it was too late and just accept his totally kind invitation.
So I stepped forward a few hesitant paces, only to stop dead in my tracks as the door of the trailer flew open and I witnessed Silva standing there.
They were both now looking over at me and I could see Alan was speaking, although it was inaudible to me.
He was probably telling her that I was a complete nutcase and that he had had a lucky escape, although to be fair, Silva did look kind of sad as she continued to watch me.
More than likely it was through pity though, at my unstable personality and who could really blame her.
I gave out a huge sigh to myself and decided to turn and walk away. After a few paces I looked back behind me again just in time to see Silva giving me one final look as now Alan had gone back inside. She then looked down and slowly closed the door.
I stood there for a moment, my heart aching now, with the knowledge that they were both there inside, sharing that expensive bottle of wine together and who knows what else!
I allowed myself another deep sigh.
Why had I practically thrown Alan's invitation to a gala evening at a premier back in his face!
I mean, what kind of person really does a thing like that?
I know.
A deranged, self obsessed, questioning everything kind of person, who doesn't know a good thing when it's presented to them an a plate, that's who!
I now realised that I had probably spoilt everything for good now. Alan had been most kind to me. It really wasn't his fault that I had fallen for him, just as it wasn't really my fault that he had in fact found somebody better than me. I mean, let's face it Silva was undoubtedly someone whom he deserved.
She was bright, intelligent, had loads of ambition and drive and was unfailingly beautiful. What was there not to like!
I took in a deep breath, taking another look at the trailer and imagined them inside. I then began to walk quietly away.
Holding the mug of steamy hot chocolate tighter in my hands I was now awaiting the barrage of unanswerable questions that were surely about to come my way.
I gave a deep sigh and looked deeper at the contents inside the mug.
The room still remained silent.
Maya was not the sort of person to judge anyone but I could tell by her face that she was distinctly shell-shocked by my revelations.
I had decided to call in on her this morning, especially after the events of last night, to tell her everything that had been happening to me over the course of the last few weeks. I knew that she was still helping out in her family run florist shop just off a little side street from where I lived, so it was easy to just pop across and see her.
I felt that I'd neglected her and countless others just lately in favour of my pursuit in making this goddam film. It was inexcusable of me, to say the very least, to be like this with my close friends, especially those from the theatre. They had always been very supportive of my endeavours. So it was high time to make amends with everyone that ever mattered to me.
Starting off with my really good friend and confidant Maya.
Maya more than most had been the one who had shown me great encouragement and been there for me throughout everything. Even though she had her own demons to fight, she had always been there with a helping hand and a kind word for me. She had been my rock and had stood up for me on countless occasions when Hugo and Beth had been less than favourable about my acting skills.
She had always been the one to really push me forward, given me the encouragement to carry on when I felt like jacking it all in.
I simply owed her so much for just being around for me and I missed her greatly.
That is why with an extremely heavy heart and guilt ridden anxiety I had decided that it was now time to really make the effort and go and pay her a visit. There was really no reason at all why I hadn't been to see her before, other than the fact that I had been keeping this whole film making thing a secret from her and everyone else, even though she was maybe the one person who could be relied upon not to tell anyone or even judge my decision to move on.
In fact, I knew that she would be extremely made up and happy for me!
I had heard Marcus returning to the flat, gone midnight last night and was aware of him popping his head around the bedroom door to take a look at me. But I felt so low and depressed when I had come back from the studio's that evening, that I really was not in the mood for his jollity's or even having to explain my whereabouts to him at that precise moment.
Instead I had decided to go and visit Maya for a much needed understanding ear to listen to my woes. Marcus could wait until after I had spoken to her first.
Thankfully, I never saw him when I got up in the morning either, nor did I want to disturb him. So I quietly got myself up and dressed and managed to sneak out of the flat to make my way to the florist shop where Maya worked.
Luckily she was due a break, so we went into the room at the back for some much needed privacy, where she made me a gorgeous Hot Chocolate drink, complete with a chocolate biscuit.
Maya was always a very good listener and remained silent as I told her about the film, who was in it, what it was primarily about and lastly of my confused and mixed up feelings for actor Alan Rickman.
I had been wanting to tell Maya ever since I had been offered the role in the film, for she always had such faith in me. I just felt so bad that I hadn't made the effort to tell her before.
I then went on to explain about Alan's invitation to me to go to the Premier with him and of his possible involvement with this Silva girl. Then about my horrid reaction to him when he caught hold of my arm.
I now realised that it wasn't really a grab at all and my over reactions to him just catching hold of me to prevent me from storming off, was highly irrational and I totally over reacted.
Of course, I had omitted from telling her about what had happened to me concerning Ashcroft. I wasn't about to tell anyone about that and hoped it would eventually just disappear out of my mind altogether.
Now however, Maya was looking at me in a kind of hurt way and was probably confused as to why I hadn't actually told her any of this before. But she smiled kindly and reached out with a hand to lightly touch mine and nodded her head.
"Well". She then spoke quietly, taking in a deep breath, "You really have been a very busy little soul Gwen, haven't you".
I looked down and smiled guiltily.
"So? Am I correct in thinking that the role of leading lady in Hugo's new play is officially up for grabs then?". She asked.
Her very sudden question had totally thrown me off guard.
I hadn't given the new play, Act of Defence any thought at all just lately. What with everything that had been going on in my life at the moment it had completely escaped my mind. I also felt a little hurt for a moment that this seemed to be Maya's main concern and not really my own worries and woes.
I frowned at her seemingly total lack of empathy towards me.
This was not like Maya at all.
"I mean". She went on, raising her eyes upwards, "What with you now having a budding film career and everything, you surely would never entertain the idea of ever coming back to us lot at the theatre now. Why on earth would you? ". She grinned at me.
"Um...... I..... I don't know what I'm going to be doing ". I said, slowly. "And to be perfectly honest with you Maya, I hadn't really given it that much thought. "
Maya was now getting her mobile phone out from her pocket and was staring at the screen, totally disregarding, so it would seem, my future and of course my current predicament.
To be honest, I had it coming though. Why should she care?
I hadn't cared enough about her to tell her all about this in the first place. It was my fault entirely that she now possibly found the blank screen on her phone a lot more appealing than me!
And who could blame her? I hadn't actually been a prime candidate for friend of the year just lately now had I?
"Well....... I really should let Hugo know". Maya now said, "Get in there quick for the part of Katherine, you know before he has a chance to offer it to somebody else".
I stared hard at her, as I watched her punch in the numbers on her mobile and panic erupted inside of me.
"Look, I haven't actually told Hugo about me doing the film as yet!". I protested.
"Oh, I won't tell him anything, I promise". Maya breezed, "I'll just let him know that you're unavailable this time, that's all".
She had now put the phone to her ear and as I tried to protest further, she waved a hand over at me.
So I just sat there and watched.
It was my own fault really, that she was behaving like this. I should have been more honest and open about things. Keeping all this to myself was not the way I should have behaved. I really should have at least, let my best friends know what was going on.
I silently scolded myself for keeping everything such a secret from them and wondered just why I had done it in the first place.
"Arrghh!!". Maya suddenly growled at the phone in her hand, giving it a look of disgust as she did so:
"Voicemail............ Again!". She hissed.
I stared at her and was privately relieved that she had failed to speak with Hugo. I just had the awful feeling that she was bound to let it slip about the reason for me not being able to do the play, such was her excitement about it and with me actually being here also.
I gave out a satisfying deep breath as I watched her now place the
phone back into her pocket again and vowed to definitely let Marcus at least, know of my plans. I could then leave it up to him to tell Hugo if and when he wanted to.
"Sorry about all that". Maya now smiled at me. "Got a little bit carried away in all honesty".
"I noticed". I found myself grinning at her.
"Well you know how important it is for me to be able to get a leading lady role". She sighed.
I nodded my head.
"It's just a pity that Hugo just seems to keep over looking me all the while". Maya said sadly.
"I'm sure it's unintentional". I soothed.
"Oh. I've no doubt about that, and I really do think that he's looking out for me. Waiting for the right part. But I could do anything, I really could. Hugo shouldn't be trying to protect me all the while. I must be able to prove him wrong at some point". She smiled.
I nodded my head.
I knew, only too well, along with everybody else, about her infatuation with Hugo Martinez.
She was besotted with him and the fact that he was most obviously gay and had now chosen to have a relationship with my male flatmate had done nothing to deter her somewhat obsessive feelings for him.
Me? I could not fathom this one out.
That two of the most kindest, most loyal and wonderful of friends that anyone could ever hope to have, would be craving the affections of the exact same person.
Someone whom I found to be both grotesque and vile.
Maya now shuffled in her seat.
"Now with you, my dear Gwen". She said, leaning forward towards me, "I somehow fail to see that you have any kind of a real problem here".
I stared hard at her.
Was she belittling my current situation?
Couldn't she tell just how much it was destroying me inside?
How all this was tearing away at my poor damaged heart?
"You.......dont see a problem ?". I asked, still staring at her.
Maya shook her head.
"No, not really". She said, with a smile. "Look, to be brutally honest with you Gwen, Alan was always pretty open to us all that he thought quite a lot you, you know, when he first started directing the play we did with him".
I sat there open mouthed, hardly believing her words, as she carried on:
"We all knew from the very start that he saw you differently from the rest of us. I personally didn't know whether it was because he realised that you had a real talent for acting or that he actually fancied you".
My stomach lurched at her unexpected words and I swallowed very hard.
"Fancied me?". I repeated, in a barely audible voice.
" But you............". She carried on, "You were so hostile towards him. Its little wonder he found it easier to back off. Everyone was convinced that you did in fact........ actually hate him!". She grinned.
"Well, I did". I agreed. "Don't you remember how awful he was to me during the rehearsals. He had me going over and over my lines all of the time and not once did I see him doing that to anyone else! So yes, to be truthful, I did hate him. I mean....... Really hated him".
Maya stared at me. My little bit of an outburst about Alan seemed to have checked her back just a bit.
She then began to nod her head, slowly.
"Come to think of it, I do remember that now. He was pretty terrible towards you. I also remember you getting very upset. Didn't you walk out on us once?". She asked.
I nodded my head at the memory.
"Yes, yes....... I did and got myself soaking wet into the bargain. But after that .............. things started to change dramatically. I began to see him a bit differently. Especially when he offered me the film script ". I said, noticing my fingers beginning to twist around themselves.
Maya looked at me curiously.
"I remember that night sitting alone with you on trafalgar Square". She said. "You told me then, that your feelings had somehow changed towards a certain someone. I sort of guessed then who it might have been, although I don't believe that you were ever willing to admit it even to yourself never mind to him".
I took in a deep breath and sat back in the chair, then said:
"I've really messed things right up haven't I?".
Maya smiled kindly.
"No. I don't think you have. Even if he is now with this Silva, it's you he's asked to go with him to that blimming premier! " She now grinned.
I shrugged my shoulders sadly.
" Don't be such a damned defeatest! ". She now spoke with authority, " Just go and see him....... And just say that you'd love to go to the Premier with him. Simple as that. Trust me, he'd jump at the chance".
I took in a deep breath.
"Oh Maya, you make it sound so very easy". I smiled.
She then smiled back at me.
"It is". She nodded, "You've always known that I've only ever had your best interests at heart and that I'll encourage you to do the right thing. On this occasion, it really is. Do it, go and see him and don't let stupid pride get in the way".
Maya then took a big breath.
"Now then, just let me see if I can get in contact with Hugo again. He can't keep his phone on voicemail forever you know". She said.
I watched as she pulled her phone back out of her pocket again and resumed in her quest to speak with Hugo.
I frowned at her.
This was a side of Maya I had never actually witnessed before.
I had always thought of her as being rather on the quiet and reserved side. But not today. She was fiesty and authoritive.
It baffled me somewhat.
Perhaps the thought of having the opportunity to be a leading lady had put some much needed fire in her belly!
Maybe this was the all new go getter Maya.
Perhaps I should do the same!
I had now made a firm decision that I would tell dear old Marcus about my involvement in the film and would push forward the talents of a certain Maya Kemple to replace me as leading lady. I felt sure she was able to do it and she was just so determined too!
It saddened me though, to think that this play would be going ahead without me in it. I had strived for such a long time to do this particular one. I loved it so very much and the part of Katherine, I thought, was absolutely made for me!
Romping in bed with a famous film star, well that wasn't really me at all! But Katherine was whom I could really have such a strong affinity with. She was shy, a bit of a bookworm, thought very deeply and was intelligent (not that I ever thought that I was!). However, I was able to put myself into her shoes. She thought the same way as I did, had said and done the things how I would have done them. I really felt such an affinity with her as a character that I knew I could do her justice.
So it was with little wonder that I now felt so extremely gutted about the fact that since I was doing something else, that loathsome git Hugo had felt it necessary to do my favourite play now!
This was just such perfect timing........ Not!
I had been banging on and on about doing this particular play for simply ages and now that I would be unable to do it, Hugo had decided that it would now be the theatre's next production.
It was just as if he actually knew somehow, although that would have deemed quite impossible.
I walked back to the flat full of determination to tell Marcus about the fact that I had now moved on in my career and if Hugo was there too, well I'd tell him as well.
It wasn't something that I was really looking forward to as I knew from past experience with other actors, that Hugo would never allow me back.
In his eyes, once someone had left the theatre, they had left for good. There would be no return ticket.
Hugo was a right stickler for loyalty I'm afraid, which in the past had made things really rather awkward, whenever someone wanted to return. In fact it gave Hugo a certain amount of satisfying pleasure when he told a would be returning actor, that they were no longer welcome.
I knew it wouldn't be plain sailing for me either, particularly given the fact that Marcus and I were also cohabiting together.
I sucked in a deep breath as I entered the flat, ready now to explain everything, only to witness a flurry of hurried confusion as I noticed Marcus racing around frantically with armfuls of clothing.
"What's going on?". I asked, also noticing an opened suitcase on the floor.
Marcus halted in his actions and looked at me, a huge grin spreading across his face.
"Ah, Gwen. You're back". He beamed.
I stared at him, as he then proceeded to throw the armful of clothes he'd been holding, into the opened suitcase.
"Are....... You going somewhere?". I asked, slowly.
Marcus, stepping over the suitcase came over to me.
"I'm off to Ibiza!". He announced, excitedly. "With Hugo!".
"What?". I asked.
"I know, isn't it brilliant!". He beamed, reaching out and suddenly grabbing hold of my arms.
He then noticed my bandage and retracted immediately.
"What? What's happened to your arm?". He asked, "Oh God! Have you been in some kind of an accident or something?".
I shook my head and smiled at him.
"No, no, nothing like that. I just tripped over. Stupid really, but hey there you go". I said, trying to brush it aside.
Marcus eyed up my arm suspiciously for a moment as I then began to rub at it, trying not to let the flashbacks of how the injury had really happened, cloud my mind.
"Really it's ok, honestly". I went on, then drawing a breath I asked, "So what's all this about Ibiza then?".
Marcus's face erupted into the hugest of grins, as he also flung his arms way up into the air.
"Oh, its just so immense. I really cannot believe it". He said, excitedly.
"Hugo knows these people out there who invited us over. They sound amazing and they've paid for absolutely everything! All we have to do is to turn up!".
I perched myself on the arm of the sofa and frowned at him.
"Do you know these people?". I asked, slowly.
"Aw... No. But Hugo does! They have an apartment out there with a jacuzzi, a swimming pool and............ Well everything". Marcus grinned, "It will be such an amazing two months!".
"Two months?". I repeated. "Your going out there........ For two whole months?".
I noticed Marcus roll his eyes at me with slight annoyance at my outburst, but he didn't say anything as he continued to hold up various shirts, contemplating on which ones to take with him.
I shuffled nervously.
"So, when are you going then?". I asked, slightly quieter this time.
"In about half an hour". Marcus answered without looking at me.
"What? Now? Today? ". I shrieked, getting abruptly to my feet, "What about the play and the flat. I've bought food in and what about me?" I asked.
"Why? Do you want to come?". He asked sarcastically.
"No, No....... Of course I don't want to come". I said shaking my head vigorously and then frowning at him.
Marcus then shrugged his shoulders in a noncommittal kind of way.
"Your loss". He said, continuing with his packing.
I moved closer towards him and drew in a deep breath.
"Look". I said, unable to believe his decision , "You just can't disappear off abroad like this".
"And why not?". He asked, now looking up from his packing and staring at me, the excitement he had shown when I had first walked in, was now curiously ebbing away, as he now took in a deep breath.
"You see, the way I look at it Gwen, it seems to be the normal way of doing things around here these days, you know just disappearing off without any explanations. Some people never even consider that others might actually be worried".
I took in a deep breath.
I realised that he was actually referring to me and I knew he was right, of course. It was true, I had been going off lately without telling him. Whether it be to my parents or the film set, poor old Marcus never knew where I was or what time to expect me back as well as not knowing where I actually was in the first place!
It had been pretty inconsiderate of me, to say the very least.
I suppose I had this outburst coming, to be fair.
It didn't make for easy listening at all, to hear Marcus's anger towards me and I bit at my lip in remorse.
I had no right to argue about this and I certainly had no right whatsoever at trying to defend myself. The best that I could hope for was forgiveness from him and maybe I might deserve it, once I had explained my reasons to him.
I couldn't believe that I had really been so very selfish about my whereabouts, but what had made it worse was the fact that it hadn't gone unnoticed by him.
Stupidly, I suppose I had just presumed that Marcus was so wrapped up in his relationship with the dreaded Hugo that he wouldn't have noticed or even cared what I did or where I was.
But this was Marcus, not Hugo and he did care. He cared very much indeed and all I had succeeded in doing was to push him away. So far away, in fact he was now escaping to Ibiza to presumably get away from all the anxiety I had put him through!
I reached out a hand to touch at his arm, but could not say I was totally surprised when he drew himself away from me and looked down.
"I'm sorry". I offered. "I know I've been a right cow lately.......... To you, to Maya, even to Jose".
"Yeah, yeah so you've said before". Marcus mumbled, "Still doesn't really explain the fact that you ran away to your parents with that....... That....... Bloody Ashcroft fellow, after everything I went through in telling you to stay well clear of him, you just went ahead, behind my back and took him to meet dear old Mummy and Daddy and little baby sister too! ".
My mouth dropped open in shock and confusion.
" You know? ..... You know where I went? ". I asked, in total shock.
" Yes". He answered, with another roll of his eyes, "And who with". He then sighed.
"Honesty Gwen, you really are such an incredible fool sometimes".
"But...... But... How?..... I mean, I didn't tell anyone". I gasped, as I continued to watch him throwing more clothes angrily into his suitcase.
"No surprise there then". He said, making it very plain that he did not wish to look at me.
Even though he was desperately wanting to tell me about how he knew of my whereabouts, but more importantly who I'd been with.
"He phoned me". Marcus continued.
I stared at him in absolute horror.
"Yes, here on that thing over there". He went on, wagging a forefinger at the phone.
I glanced at the object and knew that his actions were a little dig at me for not phoning him.
I gave a sigh, then asked:
"Why did he ring you?".
Marcus continued with his shirt folding, then pulling a face answered:
"To see if you were alright......... Of course, why do think? ".
Then he took in a big breath and in a bored tone went on:
"Apparently, he came back without you, is that correct?, Said he'd got some big meeting or whatever concerning the purchase of a restaurant, or something".
Again my mouth dropped open.
"He just wanted to know if you'd got back safely and that he really did love you and sorry for any upset he caused by his sudden departure........". Marcus sighed again, and raised his eyes upwards. "And that he'll see you very soon".
My stomach twisted with the sound of these words and I abscent mindedly rubbed at my bandaged arm.
"Argghh, he's such a slim ball". Marcus continued, pulling a disgusted face, "Whatever possessed you to go out with him! Him of all people! Even after I insisted that you shouldn't trust him. I really thought you had more sense than that!".
I wanted to argue with him. Tell Marcus that I had got more sense, that I wasn't with him and that Ashcroft's concerns for me were just a cover up for what he had done, or at least tried to do.
But somehow I failed to find the words, such was my absolute shock that Ashcroft had gone to this much trouble.
I realised why Ashcroft had rung up Marcus. It was to get his side of the story in first, making out that we were really ok. He probably realised that Marcus and I were incredibly close and that I would have no trouble at all in telling him what had really happened.
"Anyway". Marcus said, now closing his suitcase, "I must be going now and leave you and lover boy to get reacquainted".
I stepped forward towards him.
"Please". I said, my voice little more than a squeek, "Don't go. Don't go to Ibiza. Stay here, with me. I have loads to tell you, really I do".
Marcus heaved up his suitcase and made for the door, ignoring my pleas.
I followed him and was surprised when he suddenly turned round to face me.
"You've really disappointed me Gwen". He said, coldly, "Your conduct over the last few weeks have been so oddly out of character that I actually thought you were ill or something. But now it's become so crystal clear to me, that you just wanted to be with him!"
I went to argue, opening my mouth to tell Marcus that he was wrong and that the reasons for my irrational behaviour was of my own doing. This was because I had been keeping secret the fact that I was starring in a film with Alan Rickman of whom I had been hiding my own feelings of love for!
But Marcus looked so angry and so determined to leave that this didn't seem to be the opportune moment for this explanation of things.
I needed more time with him. To sit down and have a good old chat, maybe over a meal at Jose's or something.
Yes, that would do it!
That would be nice.
I now grabbed at his arm.
"Please". I pleaded, "Stay and let me explain.......... Everything".
Marcus shook his head.
"Sorry, I've got a plane to catch". He said simply.
And with that, he turned on his heel and was gone.
I stood there, in the silence, biting down on my bottom lip.
I then looked around me.
It felt so quiet.
I felt so alone.
I knew that Marcus would be coming back. He wasn't leaving for good, but I did feel that an important part of our relationship had been destroyed and it had been all my fault.
I walked towards the window and looked down at the street below.
I could see Marcus standing there, on the pavement with his suitcase on the floor at his side. I moved closer to the glass to take a better look at him just as a black taxi turned up right beside him.
I stared hard and could also make out that someone was sat in the back seat. I presumed it must be Hugo.
The taxi driver then came out and took the suitcase from off the pavement to put into the boot. There was laughter and conversation going on but fom my position behind the glass I could hear nothing, which was very strange.
It felt as if I was watching a silent movie that I used to play a major role in but now, was no longer welcome.
As Marcus went to get in, he turned for a moment and looked up at the window. Immediately I began waving furiously in the hope that he would be able to see me, but if he did he didn't return the gesture, instead he just bowed his head and stepped inside.