Zacchary's Point of View:
Dala ang puting bulaklak, puting rosas na paborito niya, mabibigat ang hakbang kong naglakad papunta sa kanyang puntod. Binalikan ko lahat ng masasayang alaala namin dahilan para umagos sa mga mata ko ang luha.
"Thank you, Vina." Binging bulong ko. "Tatlong taon ka ng wala pero hindi parin kapani-paniwala. Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang ginawa mo para sa asawa ko. Divina, forgive me for everything."
"Daddy." My nine-year old daughter called me. "Baby Devine keeps crying and dad, please talk to Zac. He's so annoying." Sumbong niya.
Tsk. Ang dalawang 'to. Mula nang mawalay sila sa mommy nila, hindi na matigil sa pag-aaway. Napailing na lamang ako at sumunod kay Chance. Chances, please come back.
"Hey, why are you two always fighting over petty things?" I scolded them when we reached the car.
"Daddy, for the record, I am only defending myself." Chance answered, glaring at her brother. "That other Zachary Harrison there is the one who always fires up arguments. Duh. He always complicates little things."
"The two of you, kung hindi kayo titigil sa pag-aaway, isusumbong ko kayo sa mommy niyo."
"When is she going home ba kasi?" Naiiritang tanong ni Chance.
"That, dad." Zac finally spoke up. "That's exactly why we argue. I'm just trying to make her understand that mom's abroad because it's important which clearly is something her tiny brain cannot absorb."
"You didn't say that, you birdbrain!" Chance snapped back.
"Aba! Talagang mag-aaway pa kayo ngayon sa mismong harapan ko?"
"Sorry dad." Zac humbled down while my daughter kept on glaring.
Napangiti ako pero itinago ko 'yon mula sa kanila. Naiintindihan ko naman e. I get it, my son is always the understanding little man. He still got that fifty-year-old man inside his nine-year-old body. On the other hand, my princess is just like me. Namimiss ang mommy niya kahit na dalawang araw palang itong nakaalis. Take note. Chances might be staying there for over a week, depending on how long it'll take to finish her business there. Ugh, miss na miss ko na siya.
"Daddy." Devine uttered and smiled at me so adorably.
I saw in the rearview mirror her older sister smiling at her.
"You are always the mood-fixer, Dev. Come to ate, cutieeee." Chance sweetly talked to our three year old bunso. Nakangiti itong lumapit at yumakap sa ate niya. "Do you miss mommy too? I miss her so much already baby." Aniya pa.
"Daddy misses mom too. And if the two of you are not going to fight for the rest of the day, we might fly to see her." I told them which widened their eyes.
"You can't be serious, dad." Chance excitedly muffled.
"Tsk. What is not serious for you anyway?" Zac interjected which usually makes his sister annoyed at him.
"Ugh. Fine, I quit. I'm not fighting with you because I want to see mom. Whatever, loser."
Napailing na lamang ako sa tinuran ng mga anak ko. On the rearview mirror, I saw Devine winking at me. This kidddddoooo! Napakakulit.
Maingay ang silid nang magising ako. Nagpapanic sila. Ano ba'ng nangyayari?
"Chances, kailangan ka naming dalhin sa delivery room!" Wait, that's Nana's voice. "Manganganak ka na!"
"Hindi pa pwede. Kailangan kong hintayin ang asawa ko." Yes, that's my wife talking.
"Chances ano ba? Sumasakit na ang tiyan mo diba? Baka mapano ka pa at ang anak mo." I am not sure whose voice is that. Maybe, Anelyn. Yeah. That's her.
"Chan, they're all right. Sige na." That is clearly a voice of someone I don't know.
"Sephy. Hindi pwede. I need my husband. This can't be like last time."
"Dad? I miss you daddy! You have slept for so long!" Chance exclaimed making everyone silent. Binuka ko ng maayos ang mga mata ko at nakita ko ang ilang pares ng mata na nakatingin sa'kin. What am I now? A spectacle? Nasa'n nga ba ako?
"Zacc? Babe? Gising ka na—" She stopped midsentence and went back to the wheelchair. "Oh my gosh! Manganganak na ako!" My wife yelped and everyone again panicked including me.
Gusto kong bumangon pero wala akong lakas. I felt so drained. What I can only do is hold my wife's hand while she's pushing. Pushing? Wait, she's pushing! Wala akong nakikitang doctor or nurse!
"Babe— we need to get you to the delivery room."
"Ahhhhhhh!"
Si Mirana ang nagpaluwal ng anak namin. How could I forget my bestfriend? Tsk. Doctor dapat 'yan e. Hindi lang nagpatuloy dahil sinamahan si Arlo. Arlo kind of hated studying business and Mirana was his guiding star. Nag-business management narin si Nana after finishing her nursing degree.
"What a healthy babygirl." Nana announced along with the sweet tiny voice filling the room. After doing what she has to do, Mirana carefully placed the baby on my wife's chest.
"Oh gosh. She still looks exactly like you, babe." I can't help but comment after seeing our little daughter.
"Yeah. Sorry Zacchy but I have to agree. You are absolutely right with that point." Sang-ayon ni Nana.
"Babe? What do you want to name her?" I asked.
Naluluha ang mga mata niyang nakatitig sa'kin. Then she smiled.
"Devine."
When she uttered that name, I remembered the last time I saw Divina. She's soaked in her own blood. With the way Chances is looking at me, I know that Divina was already gone.
***
I spent another week in the hospital for recovery. Ayaw kasing pumayag ni Chances na hindi masiguradong okay ako bago lumabas. Pumayag nalang din ako dahil kakapanganak palang niya.
Nang maging okay na ang lahat, sa bahay namin kami umuwi. Mirana, being her, prepared a thanksgiving party. Sure akong alam 'yon ni Chances dahil ako lang naman ang nagulat pag-uwi namin.
"Welcome home, love." Bati niya sa'kin sabay hilig ng ulo niya sa balikat ko. I always love the feeling when she does that.
"I was home a year ago already. I was home when I had you back, love." I told her, sounding as sincere as possible.
Chances, as a very hands-on mother, was very busy looking after our children so everyone at the party had the chance to welcome me back and congratulate me for our third baby. What I haven't noticed at first was Isaac. I didn't know he's invited. Hinanap ko kaagad si Mirana na nakangisi sa'kin nang balingan ko.
"You are a very blessed man." Isaac said when he approached me. "Congratulations, Harrison. It's good to see you well."
"Yeah. Thanks."
"Come on Zacchary, it's all in the past. She's all yours." Wika niya na may tuwa sa mukha. Gulpihin ko kaya 'to. Nang-aasar e. "Look man, I already have my wife and I love her. She's three months pregnant too."
"Wow. That's great. Congratulations. Excuse me."
Nainis ako sa sarili ko matapos tumalikod. Zacchary, umayos ka. Past is past. Ikaw nga ang mahal ng asawa mo. Napakainsecure mong tao! Tsk.
"Guerrero." Tawag ko nang lingunin ko siya ulit. "I mean it, congratulations."
"Thanks man." Nakangiting tugon niya.
Nagpaalam na ako rito dahil hinanap ko kaagad si Mirana. Talagang tinawanan pa ako.
"At least, you've learned. Naku. Napaka-insecure. Napaka-seloso. Hindi ikaw ang pinakagwapo sa mundo Zacchary Harrison pero para kay Chances, ikaw na ang pinakagwapo para sa kanya, ikaw pa ang mundo niya. Kaya, umayos kana." Pangaral niya sa'kin.
"E ako? Ano ako sa'yo?" Singit ni Arlo. Niyakap niya mula sa likuran ang kaibigan ko which is kind of... Sweet? Nope!
"Ugh. Ang korni niyong tingnan!" Reklamo ko kunwari.
"Ano'ng korni? Hoy Zacchary Harrison, mas malala ka pa sa'kin pagdating sa asawa mo." Wika ni Arlo.
"Eh ano naman ngayon? Asawa ko naman 'yon."
"Eh 'yon naman pala. Ano'ng problema mo? Magiging asawa ko rin naman ang babaeng 'to?" Pagyayabang niya sabay nakaw ng halik kay Nana.
"Tss." Umiling ako't tinalikuran sila. Bago tuluyang makalayo, nag-iwan ako ng mahalagang mensahe para sa bestfriend ko. "Nana, pag-isipan mong mabuti habang hindi pa huli."
Hahaha. Alam kong makakahanap si Arlo ng ibabato sa'kin kaya tumakbo na agad ako at hinanap ang mag-ina ko. Ayun siya, kasama sina Anelyn, Symphony at Hope, ang asawa ni Isaac.
"Masakit talaga." Sabi ni Anelyn saka tumawa.
"Hoy kayo, Sephy, Aneng, 'wag niyo ngang tinatakot si Hope." Sita ng asawa ko. Napangiti ako. Panganganak ba ang pinag-uusapan nila?
"Totoo naman." Giit pa ni Anelyn. " Hope, sobrang sakit. Pero kapag nakita mo naman ang anghel mo, sobrang saya, sobrang gaan sa pakiramdam."
"Yep. Exactly." Symphony said to second the motion.
Napatitig ang asawa ko sa mga anak naming kumakain kasama si Harmony.
"Paid off lahat ng sakit. Worth it lahat sa huli." Sambit ni Chances nang may matamis na ngiting nakapinta sa labi.
Mula nang umuwi kami sa bahay, do'n narin namin pina-stay si mama. Kahit ayaw niyang sabihin, alam namin ni Chances na apektado siya sa nangyari. Kahit nga ako e, galit ako kay papa at sa tingin ko, hinding-hindi ko siya mapapatawad.
"Babe?" Tawag ni Chances nang nakahiga na kami para matulog isang gabi. "Gusto mong puntahan ang papa mo?"
"Chan?" I muttered out of astonishment.
"Ayokong mabuhay sa galit, Zacc." Wika niyang nagpatameme sa'kin. "Hinding-hindi na mababago lahat kahit anong galit pa ang kimkimin natin. Hindi na maibabalik ang buhay na nawala. Zacchary, hindi worth it na mabuhay na puno ng galit. Maraming nagsakripisyo para magkaroon tayo ng tahimik na buhay. Tahimik ba 'yong puno ng galit at pagkamuhi ang puso natin? Nasa'n ang katahimikan do'n?"
Napaluha ako. Hindi ako makapaniwalang sa kanya pa mismo manggagaling ang pahayag na 'yon. My father killed her parents! He took away from her five years of being a mother and a wife. He put her life in danger for so many times. Paano niya nasasabi 'yon?
"When you woke up that day, Zacc. I have forgiven your father. I have forgiven myself because like you said, it's all worth it. Kung may kailangang pagbayaran ang papa mo, ipaubaya na natin 'yon sa taas."
Humigpit ang pagyakap ko sa kanya. This woman beside me, she is an angel. She just saves me all the time.
"We'll visit him tomorrow. Is it okay?" She asked. I don't know the answer. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko ng harapin ang ama kong sumira ng buhay ko. "Babe, hindi naman kita pinipilit na patawarin siya agad. Kusang ibinibigay 'yang kapatawaran e. I just really want to see him."
"Okay." I heard myself say in a very low voice. "Okay, love. We'll see him tomorrow."
Because of that conversation, I wasn't able to get myself a sound sleep. I was so bothered and scared for the waiting tomorrow. But then, it was meant to happen and I could never stop time.
"Babe, kung hindi mo talaga kaya. Okay lang. We can still go home. Or I can see him alone." Sabi niya bago kami makababa ng kotse.
"No. You're right, babe. I've been thinking all morning about this and you are right. You are always right." I managed to joke. "I don't want to be that old Zacchary before you met me, Chances. I want to be the kind of man that you made me become."
"I love you." Utal niya sabay halik sa'kin ng mabilis. "Walang iwanan, Zacchary. Habangbuhay." Then she offered me her hand.
"Habang may buhay, Chances." I replied as I took it joyfully.
Pumasok kami ng jail nang magkahawak ang kamay. It somehow gave me the strength to face my fear. Naghintay kami sa visiting area.
"Sir, ma'am, ayaw hong lumabas ni Mr. Harrison." The personnel informed us when he returned.
"Ah. Salamat po." Tugon agad ng asawa ko. "Pwede po bang pakiabot nalang po nito sa kanya?"
Kumunot ang noo ko. Nasagot lang ang tanong sa isip ko nang makabalik na kami ng kotse.
"Alam kong gagawin niya 'yon. I prayed for it. It's the sign that he's guilty and hopefully repenting for what he's done." Pagpapaliwanag ni Chances sa pag-iwan niya ng sulat kay papa. "It's okay, babe."
Tumulo 'yong luha ko sa huling sinabi niya dahil alam ko ang ibig sabihin niya no'n. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be weak in front of her. It's okay to ask her to be my strength. It's okay to hate my father for a while. It's okay to say what I really felt.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, babe. If it wasn't because of me, hindi gugulo ang buhay mo."
"Zacchary. Ano ka ba? Kung hindi naman kita nakilala, hindi namin malalaman ang totoo. Hindi natin malalaman ang katotohanan. Hindi natin makikilala ang mga taong mahalaga sa'tin. There were so many things we haven't known about our families before we met." Kinuha niya ang kamay ko't pinisil 'yon. "We all happen for a purpose, Zacc. And right now, I just don't really feel like grieving for so long about those negative things, you're here and despite the tragic things we've been through, we still know how to love. That's so much to be grateful for."
"What did I do to deserve you, Chances?"
"You mean, what did we do to deserve love?" She smiled. "Nothing Zacc. We are all unworthy but somehow, He made us all worthy for love."
"Dad! Where are you?" Chance exclaimed. "You're spacing out on us. I'm hungry daddy."
"Yeah, me too." Zacc seconded.
"Me tooo!" Devine mimicked in her very tiny voice, sweet tiny voice.
"Alright, let's get something to eat and then we will call mommy." I told them.
"That sounds like a perfect plan."
"I have to agree, brother." Tugon ni Chance sa sinabi ng kapatid niya.
"Yey! Brrtherrr!" Baby Dev hissed and we all laughed.