as soon as they left the stage, jimin was pulled into a giant group hug with all the members.
"park jimin," seokjin sniffled, "why the hell did you think it was okay to leave us without notice?"
"we were so worried," yoongi cut in, eyes misty. hoseok was sobbing at this point, unable to form a coherent sentence.
"i felt so bad!" taehyung wailed. "if i hadn't left with sunnie, i thought, maybe i could've stopped you from leaving!" namjoon and jeongguk just hugged him tighter.
"guys," jimin wheezed, a few tears streaming down his cheeks. "i can't breathe."
"fuck that," yoongi grumbled. "you were gone for so long, you can endure this hug for another few seconds." all the members laughed at that. yoongi's bluntness was always amusing.
after they'd released the idol, they all (except jeongguk) started bombarding him with questions.
"where did you go?"
"why did you go?"
"did something happen?"
"are you okay?"
"you know you can trust us, right?"
jimin looked at his feet and didn't say anything for a while.
"i'm sorry," he finally whispered, hanging his head in shame. "i... i just..."
namjoon placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"you don't need to tell us now, jimin, or ever if you don't want to. what's important is that you're back with us. bangtan's complete again."
the others nodded in agreement as jimin smiled weakly at them.
"thank you, hyung... do you mind if you give me a minute alone with jeongguk?"
none of them objected as they all wordlessly left the area, taehyung flashing jeongguk a thumbs up before he disappeared around the corner. the shorter rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. neither spoke, the silence becoming awkward after a few seconds.
"hi," jimin finally said, voice barely loud enough for jeongguk to hear.
"hey."
that awkward silence was back again. jeongguk had no idea what to say, no idea what could fix the broken bond between him and his hyung. he shifted back and forth for a moment before opening his mouth to say something, anything.
"don't say anything."
he closed his mouth.
"can you follow me? i want to go somewhere more secluded."
the younger obliged, trailing behind jimin like a lost puppy. he had no idea where the older had taken him, looking around curiously at the balcony they were standing on. both just stood there, one gazing up at the stars twinkling above them, the other at the one he loved.
"jimin," jeongguk said, biting his lip. "i'm so, so, sorry. there's nothing i can say that'll ever make up for what i did. i lied to you and betrayed your trust. i don't blame you if you hate me, but please just hear me out."
when jimin didn't say anything to stop him, he kept going.
"that night, at the restaurant... i was going to tell you it was me. that i was jung. because i couldn't stand it. i couldn't stand the guilt i felt whenever you told me you loved me and i wasn't able to say it back. you noticed that i never did, but you never let me tell you why."
jeongguk leaned against the railing and closed his eyes.
"relationships are built on trust and honesty. i don't believe someone who keeps something from their partner, something important, like what i was hiding, is truly able to say that they love them. if they did, wouldn't they trust them enough to share their secrets with them, even the bad ones that they pretend don't exist? my own mind was haunting me, jimin. i opened my mouth to tell you i loved you, but the words never came out. i would just think, 'you don't love jimin. if you did, you wouldn't be keeping him in the dark.' and i regret not telling you as soon as i saw your account."
it took him a minute to catch his breath.
"i've known you since i was fifteen. i'd be able to recognize the way you write, the emojis you send, the slang you use... i pay so much attention to everything you do. because you're important to me. how could i have not known it was you? and i know this might just sound like an excuse to make you forgive me but i swear, it's not. i won't ask for your forgiveness, but i just want you to know that from the bottom of my heart, i'm sorry."
once again, neither said a word. jeongguk couldn't tell if he was ignoring him or just thinking. but then jimin spoke.
"jeongguk-ah," he began, hesitating. "let me tell you a story.
a story about a boy with a fragile heart,
a story about a boy who was desperate for a friend,
a story about a boy who just wanted to have someone to talk to about his feelings."
—
a / n
once again, i'm tired, so i'll fix any mistakes in the morning.
sorry the chapter isn't super eventful :p