-----Runexi's notes-----
As promised, because 2.0 just reached 200 votes :)
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YuLan had to admit that she was both relieved and disappointed upon looking at the just-summoned water elemental beast.
The body of the blue Dragon was entirely liquid, the water element that was the embodiment of its existence emitted faint light under the glare of the mid-day sun. It was exceptionally beautiful when it lazily soared in the air, occasionally sending droplets of water to the people surrounding it.
She knew, it was a completely different Dragon from the one she had encountered in her dream-like vision. Although she was somewhat forlorn that she could not prove the existence of the serpent with purple and gold scales, the depth of her heart was comforted in the bizarre triumphant and proud feeling, of the fact that only she had the privilege of seeing the Dragon in her dream.
The serpent in her vision belonged only for her and aided her cultivation base. In her opinion, this Water Dragon definitely was not the same and could not even compare.
She lightly touched the Water Dragon who had also trailed towards her and Xiao Zi's side. Her fingers made contact with the serpent, causing ripples to form throughout its body. The Dragon lazily turned its head and looked at her disapprovingly with its pearl-like eyes, before returning its attention to Xiao Zi.
YuLan's lips curled slightly in amusement. Although the three spirit beasts – minus the White Tiger that Ao Xiang could not manage to summon this time – did not hurt YuLan in the slightest when she poked them around, they were visibly more affectionate towards Xiao Zi.
She had to be content though, and was not willing to compete for affection. Xiao Zi was a kind girl and one that she had grown up with in this world. And it was enough that the spirit beasts were more indifferent towards YuLan. She knew that she still received a somewhat preferential treatment from them.
Even Cao Lu and Zhen Zhu – two Ping cultivators with water element as their innate cultivation base as well – had been sprayed with water by the Dragon when they got close to just a mere foot in distance. Both had now withdrawn themselves to change their clothes, with Cao Lu cursing about a certain Dragon and a certain beast-master under her breaths.
"Is this the only Dragon amongst the spirit beasts?" YuLan enquired towards Ao Xiang, causing the other to be somewhat startled of his dazed look before paying attention to her once more. However, Yulan definitely did not miss the gentle gaze in the older man's eyes as he was previously looking at Xiao Zi and his spirit beasts' affectionate behaviour.
"Yes, only the water element takes the form of a Dragon," Ao Xiang nodded.
He proceeded to stand, but no one could have missed the slight sway in his step as he slightly staggered.
"Ao Xiang. You look somewhat pale. I think summoning three spirit beasts at once is still too much on you," Shen Wei noticed his tired countenance.
"Hn." Ao Xiang softly replied. He, of all people, knew the amount of qi required to summon a spirit beast – let alone three at once. He had clearly pushed his limits. When he saw that the Fire Phoenix and Earth Tortoise behaved so amiably towards Xiao Zi, he could not help but to want to summon the Water Dragon as well.
He had even surprised himself when the Water Dragon actually took form. Nevertheless, although as an Enlightened, he was considered powerful and abundant in qi, he had begun to feel fatigued after summoning all three.
A few years ago, ZhouLei could sustain the existence of four spirit beasts after they were summoned by Ao Xiang. Shen Wei himself could sustain Fire Phoenix for a short period of time. It seemed that today, although the spirit beasts showed affection towards YuLan and Xiao Zi – definitely more towards the latter, it was Ao Xiang's own qi that was still being drained to maintain their existence.
Ao Xiang looked towards Xiao Zi, who had now gotten closer to his side. The three spirit beasts were still hovering around her happily, but her own face showed a trace of anxiousness and worry.
Ao Xiang's heart warmed. He thought he would never feel as such towards another female apart from Qing Lian.
But a spirit beast was said to be a manifestation of one's soul's wish, as well as being a manifestation of the five elemental powers in the universe ruled under the heavens.
Could it be that his soul had been inexplicably attracted to this Ping sect's maiden? But, she was one that he had never seen before this particular day. Could it be that his heart was actually extremely fickle that it was really easy for him to be attracted to another female apart from Qing Lian?
As if she understood Ao Xiang's inner turmoil, Qing Lian decisively returned to his side. The spirit beasts that she loathed were still busy cozying-up towards Xiao Zi, hence Qing Lian had regained her courage to be close to her DaShixiong. She definitely did not miss Ao Xiang's earlier gentle gaze towards Xiao Zi as well, that made her to feel suddenly threatened.
"That is why I have always been averse to DaShixiong summoning spirit beasts." Qing Lian tugged the corner of his sleeves, her face showing grievance, "It always takes too much toil on DaShixiong's body, sucking DaShixiong's qi like they were parasites."
Ao Xiang lightly frowned at her last words, but his expression softened as he looked at the little face that he adored – especially with her expression visibly concerned for his well-being.
"Is there no way to return the spirit beasts to the elements now?" Xiao Zi asked. The spirit beasts were cute, but she was worried about Ao Xiang and his gradually ashen countenance.
Ao Xiang shook his head weakly, feeling dizziness in his mind as his qi was spent even further. The only person who had managed to return the elemental beasts to nature -- without waiting for them to completely drain Ao Xiang's qi -- was ZhouLei.
"Never mind. Once he's close to fainting, the spirit beasts will disappear naturally." Shen Wei shrugged. It was not the first time that he had seen his friend in this state. What normally happened was for Shen Wei to transfer some of his own qi for Ao Xiang, once the spirit beasts finally took their fill feeding off Ao Xiang's qi.
Such was a peculiarity of the profession of a beast-master. Hence beast-masters never venture alone, as they would be vulnerable when their qi was completely spent by their own summoned spirit beasts. Although one could say that to be a beast-master was to be the master of the elements, it was a double-edged sword.
Xiao Zi though, clenched her fists and looked decisively towards the three elemental beasts in front of her.
"I am sure we will have another chance in the future to play together. But for now, can I request for all of you to return? Your master is getting weaker at the moment and I do not want to see him hurt."
Ao Xiang chuckled weakly at her words,
"Miss Xiao Zi, unfortunately it does not work that way... these beasts are extremely stubborn. Besides, although I am called the master, I think I am merely a channel for them to appear in their current forms... ."
However, he could not finish his sentence as the spirit beasts circled Xiao Zi once more. The Fire Phoenix flicked its tail, grazing Xiao Zi's neck softly; the Earth Tortoise nudged its head against Xiao Zi's right cheek; the Water Dragon...
The Water Dragon puckered its snout on Xiao Zi's lips.
"A male! Every single one of them is definitely a male!!" Zuo JinHai laughed loudly, echoing Shen Wei's earlier remark about the beasts' sexual preference.
"DaShixiong. A spirit beast is not only the manifestation of the element, but also a representation of the summoner's innate wish. Don't tell me, you actually want to... ." Zuo BingTan did not finish his words as he glanced towards Qing Lian, pity and slight mockery mixed in his gaze. It caused Qing Lian to seethe inwardly with rage.
Xiao Zi rolled her eyes and put her arms on her hips,
"Enough playing! Leave for now and let your master rest!"
The three spirit beasts looked towards each other, flew towards Ao Xiang, and dissipated into his body.
The water from the Dragon quickly dispersed; the flickering fire from the Phoenix eased off before disappearing completely; the earth and dirt from the Tortoise returned to the ground.
The pressure of his weakening qi abruptly stopped that Ao Xiang felt somehow disoriented. His eyes flashed with gratitude and wonder as he looked at Xiao Zi. After ZhouLei, Xiao Zi was the only person who was able to order the spirit beasts around.
Needless to say, everyone else was also astounded. Just because of some admonishing words from a young woman, the elemental beasts that had always been haughty even towards their own summoner, left just like that.
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As they were about to embark on a non-stop journey towards the land of Yanshi the next day, everyone decided to reserve their energy and merely idled around at the inn. Those who meditated, did so; those who wished to exchange pointers between the three sects' disciples, did so.
Cao Lu and her second brother chatted after they had a simple dinner of vegetarian dishes. Ping sect's cultivators had always abstained from meat due to the impure qi animals possessed. YuLan noticed that apparently, it was the same with Wu Shan sect and Hui Lin sect.
Nevertheless, she sighed inwardly – even without animal-based protein in their diet – these youths had definitely grown up well. Every single one of them was good looking and possessed graceful bearing.
Even the Xiao Hui look-alike had nothing amiss from her outwardly adorable behaviour, currently currying favours from her shixiongs left and right. However, as Cao Lu blatantly showed her dislike towards Qing Lian, and Zuo BingTan was currently engaged in a deep conversation with her, Qing Lian decided to widen her reach towards other men present. She even managed to evoke a few laughter and playful banters from Shen Wei, Zuo JinHai, and Ding Shun from Wu Shan sect.
YuLan sighed heavily in her heart. Her memory of Xiao Hui was as fresh as if it only happened yesterday. How could it not be? Xiao Hui died because of her; because Xiao Hui tried to protect her. Although in the end, her sacrifice was still futile.
When she saw Qing Lian for the first time, she even forgot that the latter had actually attacked her with an obvious malicious intent. YuLan had thought of a possibility that Xiao Hui had actually been re-birthed just like she had been. How good would it be if that were true; that way, YuLan could pay her debt. She would definitely treat Xiao Hui in this lifetime extremely well.
Qing Lian had apologized with teary eyes and said that she was merely concerned about Zuo BingTan – whom YuLan had suddenly grabbed a hold on to as soon as she woke up from her long sleep.
However, Yulan was not a person who had been living just for a couple of decades; or for just one lifetime for that matter. She could definitely see when someone was being fake or when they were being sincere.
Qing Lian was extremely vain and insincere in appearance and conduct, it caused YuLan to be confused and conflicted. Although Qing Lian possessed her past childhood friend's face and physique, the Hui Lin sect's practitioner's behaviour was far from Xiao Hui's past innocence and kindness.
She finally decided to just act indifferent and wait. She was not a petty person and would not cause trouble to Qing Lian, but she would also not be preferential towards the woman just because YuLan missed Xiao Hui.
The other person who caused YuLan to be wary was Zuo BingTan. Actually, it was him and Zuo JinHai.
(Zuo BingTan)
After gathering her wits and now that she could observe everyone clearly, she had become more confused to the fact that she found SongLi's familiar features in both young men. Zuo JinHai resembled SongLi in his younger years, Zuo BingTan carried SongLi's sharper features as he was older and more mature.
(Zuo JinHai)
Upon closer look, YuLan began to pick the differences between SongLi's facial and physical features to both Royal Princes.
Zuo BingTan was a tad slimmer in physical build, his chin was also sharper and more triangular than Ji SongLi's. The most uncanny resemblance was probably his blade-like brows and his cheek bone structure; however these features could also be seen in Zuo JinHai. The most prominent difference between the two brothers was probably that Zuo BingTan had softer, more feminine facial features -- probably attributed from his mother's genes.
However, Ji SongLi was born from Ji ChanFang and Hai FenChu; Zuo BingTan and Zuo JinHai were children of the late Empress Yun Ying and Emperor Zuo JinLong. Surely even if the soul was the same, the different genetic structures were bound to cause different physical features? To have Qing Lian resembling Xiao Hui, and Zuo BingTan and Zuo JinHai somewhat resembling Ji SongLi were already giving YuLan headache, especially remembering her initial outburst towards Zuo BingTan.
Never mind being embarrassed, she hoped she would never ever step foot in Zuo Dynasty's Imperial Palace.
Imagine if the Emperor and his many male off-springs also possessed some resemblance to Ji SongLi.
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The sound of qin broke YuLan out of her daze. She looked up to see Ao Xiang chatting with the inn's musician. The musician smiled towards him and let Ao Xiang sit before the zither. The Hui Lin's senior disciple then gently plucked the strings, producing a beautiful melody that started to attract attention from everyone present. The musician was visibly impressed; although YuLan could not hear exactly what was transcribed, his body language was extremely respectful towards Ao Xiang as his mouth constantly chattered what presumably were some praises.
"Ao Xiang DaShixiong actually loves to read and is more interested in arts." A low voice came from behind her, and YuLan turned slightly to see Zuo BingTan and Cao Lu. Zuo JinHai and Shen Wei soon joined them, making themselves comfortable in some available seats nearby.
"Ao Xiang is really good with the zither." Shen Wei's expression was visibly excited.
Being a skilled zither player herself in her past life, although YuLan had not touched the instrument ever since she was reborn in this current world, YuLan could deduce that Ao Xiang was indeed proficient in qin.
The melody he produced was flawless as his fingers nimbly danced on the strings, producing wave after wave of a gentle composition. The quiver of each plucked string was like ripple of water created by the gentlest of rain; the interlude between each note was like a silent sigh of an untold wish; the song was like a dream that had never been spoken about, just waiting to wither away.
(The composition that Ao Xiang played)
Her own fingers began to itch, her heart was tickled with longing. She missed playing guqin. She missed her guqin's past owner.
She did not realize when the composition actually ended, but Ao Xiang suddenly appeared in front of her and smiled kindly,
"Does Miss YuLan want to have a go at playing the qin?"
"She has never played a guqin before." Cao Lu frowned in displeasure at the man's audacity in harassing her shimei. Was Qing Lian and Xiao Zi not enough? Despite his outwardly gentle and meek persona, was this man actually a wolf preying on young maidens? Cao Lu's previous favourable impression towards Ao Xiang had diminished a great deal.
YuLan looked at the guqin still carried in Ao Xiang's arms – the man actually had brought it to her. She straightened her posture and shook her head lightly,
"Cao Lu DaShijie is correct. I have never touched a zither before."
"At least not in this lifetime," she added inwardly.
"How can that be?" Ao Xiang was visibly surprised, "I watched your fingers moving while you were listening to my performance. The notes that would have been played by your movement, the preciseness, they were all spot on. You would have been able to play the song as well as I have."
YuLan stiffened. She did not even realize that her fingers had involuntarily played some silent music when she was listening to Ao Xiang with her eyes closed earlier. Her habit and love in the instrument, in her past life, must had been ingrained deep.
She could only stay silent, while looking at the guqin in his arms. The guqin was not as beautiful as the one she used to have, but even by merely looking at the instrument, it brought a bittersweet feeling surging from her heart.
She wanted to play.
Ao Xiang smiled and softly placed the guqin on her lap,
"Don't think too much about it. Even when you claimed you have never played qin before, it's not too late to try. A musical instrument is merely a portrayal of one's heart. It does not necessarily need superb skill to play one, as long as you can play to your heart's desire. The qin would know it, the listener would acknowledge it, and your heart would also recognize it."
YuLan looked up towards the kind expression on Ao Xiang's face, her fingers already tracing the dark colored body of the zither.
In her past lifetime, she also liked to do the same; running her fingers on the white lustrous body that used to belong to him. In the Northern plains, in the Kingdom of Jing -- when they were apart, whenever she felt lonely, she used to do it with her eyes closed. As her fingers passed the engraved curve of the body – bearing dents the shape of his name – she would sigh his name to ease her longing.
His name was not on this dark coloured guqin... . Could she be blamed that because of that, she was now missing him more than ever? Because the absence of his engraved name meant that she could no longer rely on a concrete evidence that he had existed before; that he had loved her before; that his love touched her soul and made her willing to put her heart in his palms, to grow old together, to brace the winters in each other's warmth, and sing the melodies of Springs with the strength of their love.
Playing a song to ease her aching feeling, that much should be fine, right?
She placed her two palms on the strings and started to gently pull on them. She already knew what piece she wanted to play.
(Aren't you all bored of this song yet?)
If he was somewhere, anywhere, would he know that this moment, she was playing it for him?
But at this moment, the familiar song was no longer without words. She remembered his voice when he played it for her a long time ago, during that different lifetime that belonged to an entirely different world.
The first repertoire of the song was still without words, as YuLan focused her attention on pouring her yearning through the qin melody itself. In her heart though, she sang his song – the lyrics he had sung for her, in that past lifetime, and also in her dreams.
Her lips began to quiver as her vision grew blurry.
Only the people closest to her and who paid attention to her expression noticed that a few droplets of water fell from her eyes, onto the body of the zither.
Still, she did not stop playing. She knew the song by heart, the words had been deeply engraved to her soul. The qin might not bear his name, but her heart always did. She did not need to see where her fingers were dancing, which strings she was playing – she could play the piece with her eyes closed.
Still, the tears kept falling, and she could not help but whisper hoarsely as her piece gradually came to an end. The whisper was softer than the gentlest summer breeze, but Xiao Zi, Shen Wei, Ao Xiang, Cao Lu, Zuo BingTan, and Zuo JinHai could hear her clearly,
[To be with my beloved,]
[I am in love with you. I am in love with you.]
[I will accompany you forever....]
As the song ended, she brought her hands onto her chest, her body slightly keeling over like she was in pain.
She muttered two words, "Song Li... ."
Then she gently removed the guqin off her lap, stood up, and left everyone in a daze.
Ao Xiang and Shen Wei threw confused look towards each other; Cao Lu and Xiao Zi exchanged concerned gaze towards each other; Zuo JinHai's eyes trailed towards the white-robed figure that had just disappeared off the corner of the room.
Zuo BingTan's right arm was still hung in mid-air, his eyes stared at its empty grasp.
His heart had been deeply moved when he heard the young woman's pleading whisper as she seemed to be singing to no one.
[I am in love with you. I am in love with you.]
Love.
Just like what his Empress Mother had felt towards, most presumably, his Imperial Father; and what most probably be one of the reasons behind her death.
Love.
Perhaps it was his attachment towards his late Mother, but he had wanted to comfort YuLan then. He wished to feel what YuLan felt. He wished to know the reasoning behind YuLan's love.
"What is love?"
"What good is love, if Mother died because of it, and this pure yin maiden is crying because of it?"
"If it is painful, if it hurts, why love?"
Such a simple short word, such agony.
But still, he wanted to feel what she had felt, he was inexplicably attracted to it, to her. He had wanted to reach out and put his hand on her palms on the zither.
Perhaps, she could share that painful love with him, and ease up her heartbreaking expression. If he could be the source of her relief, he would gladly do so - was what he had thought.
Then he stopped mid-air when she whispered the same two words; the same two words she had said when she woke up from her sleep, clutching onto his sleeves with trembling fingers then.
["Song Li."]
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