Louis' POV
I stumbled backwards to the bed, falling down on it as soon as my legs hit the side. My eyes were fixed on piece of paper I held in my shaking hands, reading it over and over again. My mum's neat and even handwriting started to blur a few seconds before a drop lands on the first line, making me realise I was crying. The mattress next to me dipped and I soon felt Liam's arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him. His shirt was drenched with my tears by the time my shaking had subsided, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back.
“I- I'm sorry Li.” I hiccuped, my breathing still hitched from sobbing.
“Shhhh, it's fine love. But it is good news though, right?”
I managed to produce a small smile and nodded at him, wiping the last few remaining tears from my eyes. “Y-yeah. It is. I'm just a bit shaken up.”
He smiled back, pulled me up and guided me to the living room. He pulled back a chair and motioned me to sit down, kissed me and got into the kitchen to get our dinner, that was probably cold by now. I heard the beeps from the microwave and watched him reappear with two plates. Apart from the fact that I hated reheated food, I didn't really feel hungry, so I ended up pushing my mashed potatoes around my plate along with the sausage, only having a few bites of the carrots.
Liam sighed when he put down his cutlery, looking at me with weary eyes. “Come on Lou, I'm getting you to bed.”
He was cute, tucking me in and stroking my hair until I drifted off to sleep.
I stood waiting at the train station, my eyes locked on the announcement board, waiting for the letter next to the train I was waiting for to change into A for arrived. The anticipation was starting to kill me as I paced back and forth, finally deciding to walk to the platform that they would arrive on. It took only five more minutes for the train to pull into the station. I stood on my tiptoes, trying to spot them between the passengers that filed out of the train. “Lottie!” I shouted, frantically waving at my eldest sister who was walking next to our mother. She didn't hear me, looking straight ahead as she walked towards the great hall. “Lottie!” I yelled again, trying to get her attention. Both her and my mother walked past me without even looking up at my calls. I ran behind them and put my hand upon my sister's shoulder, making her turn around. She squinted her eyes as she looked at me and huffed. “Louis, please. You didn't really think I was here to see you, did you? I'll never forgive you for what you've done. You can go rot in hell for all I care.” Mum laughed hard at her statement, taking Lottie's hand as she brushed mine off her shoulder and pulled her along to the exit. Tears were streaming down my face as I watched them leave.
My eyes shot open and I felt how my pillow was drenched in tears, again. I silenced a sob in the dark room, finding Liam asleep next to me. A look on my phone learned it was only 4am, but I was sure I wouldn't be able to sleep after that horrible dream. It had triggered my thoughts about home. Would my sisters ever be able to forgive me for screwing up? I wasn't even sure the twins would remember me, as they were pretty young when I had left. They'd be almost 8 by now, I couldn't even imagine how much they would've grown by now. I kept tossing and turning until my alarm clock went off. Grateful for the excuse to get out of bed, I quickly showered and jumped on my bike to work, not sure how I would get through the rest of the day.
Liam's POV
I giggled at Niall's silly face when I downed my third glass of sangria. It was Friday night, Louis was working until 8 tonight for some stupid reason I didn't remember, and we were out, celebrating the end of our exams and the start of Summer Holidays. I had chosen to ignore Harry's warning about not eating the fruit, since that soaked up all the alcohol, and felt already more than slightly drunk, to the amusement of my two companions. By the time Louis called me to retrieve the details on our location, I couldn't stop giggling, earning me a smirk from my boyfriend when he locked his bike on a nearby lantern before coming over, kissing me and slumping down on the seat next to me.
“Bambi, how much of those sangrias have you had by now?” he asked smiling while he grabbed my glass and took a sip from the pink straw.
“Hey! That is mine! Order yourself one if you want one! And I think this is my fourth? Niall?”
“Don't look at me, but I think you had more than four. No more than six though, that I'm sure about!” he chimed before he pressed a sloppy kiss on Harry's lips.
Louis rolled his eyes at our continuous giggling, and announced he urgently needed to catch up with us, motioning the waiter over so he could order himself a sangria.
By the time the bar closed, we were all way past drunk, giggling non stop at half finished sentences that were supposed to be jokes. Luckily, the bar wasn't that far from home, so we all stumbled back to the flat, stifling our giggles while we conquered the stairs so we wouldn't infuriate our neighbours, only to slump down on the couch when we finally reached our living room.
The laughter had died down for a few minutes when Niall suddenly exclaimed “We should play twister! It's the funniest game to play when you're drunk.” Harry and I chuckled at his proposition, already imagining how badly we would screw up the game if we'd attempt it. I looked up at Louis, who was laying half on top of me, to find him with his mouth a bit agape, snoring lightly.
“Don't think my man is up for a game now boys. I think I'd better take him to bed.” I said, wrestling to get up from the couch, picking Louis up into my arms as I swayed on my feet, trying to keep my balance as I got him into our bed.
Finally managing to undress him, I took out my phone, trying to remember if I should set my alarm, but deciding I didn't have to. We could have another lazy Saturday tomorrow, making preparations for our trip to Doncaster on Sunday.
----
My phone buzzed in my pocket, probably Jay's reply to my text with our expected time of arrival. I glanced at Louis, who pretended to be reading a book, but was more occupied with biting his nails. I tugged at his hand, taking his fingers out of his mouth for the seventieth time this morning.
“Stop it Lou, you'll have nothing left to chew on if you continue like this, you'll need a finger transplant by the time we arrive back in London tonight.”
He sighed and put his head on my shoulder, automatically causing me to lean my head on top of his.
“I'm scared Li,” he whispered.
“I know baby, but I'm sure it will be fine.” I tried to console him while I fished my phone out of my pocket, indeed revealing a short message from Jay, confirming she would be picking us up at the train station.
I had tried to persuade Louis to text or call his mum himself over the last two weeks, but he kept refusing it. I knew he was scared to restore contact, trying to put it off until we could meet in person so he could at least see her reaction.
The train ride was long, seeming even longer during the first hour and a half, when Louis fretted nervously all the time, biting his nails and rummaging through his backpack to come back up empty handed. I heaved a sigh of relief when he finally fell asleep on my shoulder, the lack of sleep due to his ruminating catching up with him.
I pulled my earphones out when the train left the station before ours, putting the empty cans and wrappers away before waking Louis at the last possible moment. He looked as if I was leading him to the slaughter house when we walked down the aisle to the doors, waiting for the train to stop at Doncaster station. I'm pretty sure Louis would've stayed in the train if it wouldn't have been for me pulling him along as I stepped onto the platform. Jay had texted me she'd had some trouble finding parking space, so she would be a bit later.
Louis' POV
I felt torn between getting off the train and face whatever would come up, and staying on it and end up in the middle of nowhere, all by myself again. Liam shot me a reassuring look as he pulled me onto the platform with him. We made our way into the small building, hardly worth the name station, where my mum had said she'd be waiting. I chuckled humourlessly at the idea that she was late, as usual. Liam went to sit down on the uncomfortable yellow seats opposite the door that lead outside. I was too nervous to sit down, and Liam had finally given up on getting me to sit down so I paced up and down the hall, turning around at the vending machine on one side and in front of the staff room on the other. 23 steps one way. I had walked them 7,5 times when the door swung open, revealing my mother, her hair wind swept, face red and slightly panting as her eyes roamed the hall nervously, locking with mine as soon as she noticed me standing in front of her. I gulped, unable to bring out a word, and saw her mimicking my actions, a blank expression on her face.
Time froze, as well as everything around us. I wasn't sure how long we stood there before Liam picked up on the awkwardness, probably not much longer than 30 seconds. He appeared by my side, grabbing my hand and squeezing it comfortingly before he turned to my mother, sticking out his hand to greet her. She snapped out of her trance when he spoke, shaking his hand and smiling slightly.
“Hello mrs Tomlinson. I'm Liam.” he said politely. I would've smirked at it if the circumstances were any different, but now all I could do was stare at their hands.
“Hello Liam.” It had been ages since I'd heard her voice. I swallowed when her gaze left his again, meeting my eyes once again. “Louis. You look good.” I could tell her voice was about to break. She extended her hand but changed her mind, closing the small distance between us and wrapping her arms around my neck. The hug was over before I wrapped my mind around it, my arms still hanging awkwardly at my sides when she let go.
“Thanks.” I said finally. “You too.” The smile she shot me made me realise how much I had to make up for. It was the smile she used to reserve for acquaintances, or for our next door neighbour when she claimed us for her gossip. It was polite without seeming too distant, nor leaving any room for closeness.
By the time I popped out of my thoughts, the both of them were already walking towards the door. I ran behind them, trying to keep up. The drive home was short, and silent. Liam did his best to make small talk, but even he struggled to keep the conversation running longer than three minutes in one go.
I swallowed thickly when my mum parked upon the drive way to our house. Was it still our house though, or should I call it hers? She let us in and motioned to leave our coats and shoes at the coat rack. I noticed there were not quite as many shoes scattered around the floor as I was used to. Probably due to the girls being away, but there weren't any men's shoes either, nor were there men's coats hanging on the wall. I slipped my shoes off, stepping on the heel so I didn't have to untie them. I turned around to find my mother looking at me disapprovingly. I rolled my eyes.
“Yes, I know I'll ruin my shoes by taking them off like that.” It had left my mouth before I could think twice, my eyes widened when I realised. My expression was mirrored at the other side of the hall, before it was replaced by a chuckle.
“And still you didn't change that awful habit.” she smiled, showing us in. The living room looked different from when I'd last seen it. There were less toys scattered around, and the childish drawings that used to be all around the walls had been replaced by pictures of my sisters, and some more developed drawings here and there. I smiled as I noticed a picture from one of our family holidays. My mum and stepdad weren't in it, just me and my sisters, Lottie and Fizz at either side of me and the twins each on one of my arms, something I could only manage because they were both very lightweight toddlers. I think they were around two at the time. It affected me more than I had expected to find I wasn't completely erased from this house, or this family.
“Mark finally got rid of his guitar?” I questioned when I found the corner where he kept his first guitar empty.
She shook her head. “No, we separated last year. The divorce was finalised a few months ago.”
A pang of guilt shot through me when I saw the hint of pain and grief in her eyes. I should've been there for her.
I vaguely noticed Liam excusing himself for the bathroom and followed mum into the kitchen where she went to make us tea. I leaned against the counter as I watched her. She had her back to me when she waited for the teabags to release their flavours into the three cups in front of her, looking at it as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
“I'm really sorry mum. For all of it.”
She nodded, without turning around to face me. “I know you are Louis. I always hoped you would be someday.”
“I missed you.”
“We missed you too. The girls still do. They don't talk about it much, but I know they miss their brother. It won't be easy Louis. You hurt all of us so much. Don't expect me to welcome you home with open arms.”
“I don't mum. I know I've screwed up beyond badly. I didn't even expect you to give me another chance.”
She finally turned around, reached out for my hand and squeezed it. “You still are my son Louis. That never changed, and it never will. Come on, let's have tea. Tell me about your new life.”
I told her about how Liam had taken me in from the cold and the snow, how he supported me. About work, about our friends, trying not to let it slip that we were actually dating. I never dated boys when I lived at home, and although I was quite sure my mum was pretty open minded, I decided I wouldn't tell her yet. Having her former drug addicted son back home was bad enough without him having a boyfriend all of a sudden.
She went to get us more tea and a giant plate of sandwiches for lunch.
“So, how long have you been dating then?”
My jaw fell as I looked up, causing her to snigger.
“Come on Louis, I was always able to tell when you were in love. The way you look at Liam is a dead give away. And besides, it takes more than friendship to do what Liam did for you.”
I blushed at her statement, stealing a glance at Liam, who's cheeks were equally flushed. “Since New Years eve,” I muttered.
“Good. Don't screw up this time Lou, you've got yourself a good one here.”
“Mum!” I exclaimed, certain I could not be any more embarrassed.
We only had a few hours left before we had to go back to the station, and my mum made good use of it to ask Liam all about college, his family and she even tricked him into telling her about Nicola. I wanted to cut her off, but he motioned it was okay. He obviously was more comfortable about the subject, he wouldn't have been able to talk about it like this a few months ago.
My mum in her turn told us about her divorce from Mark and showed us some recent pictures of my sisters. I bit my lip when I noticed how much they had changed. Lottie was a young woman now, Fizz was well on her way to become one too, and the twins were no longer preschoolers.
We stopped at the fish and chips stand around the corner before mum dropped us off at the station again. She got out of the car to pull both of us into a hug.
“Bye Louis. I promise I'll come to visit you in London soon. You don't know how glad I am to see how well you're doing now.” She kissed me on the cheek, and I knew we weren't there quite yet, but the first step had been made. I couldn't make out what she said to Liam, but I saw how he blushed when he walked over to take my hand, shaking his head when I looked at him questioningly.
I actually managed to read my book on the way back and we were both completely exhausted when we reached our flat, finding it abandoned by Niall and Harry, a note on the table to let us know they were staying at Harry's for once. I fell asleep immediately, and had my first quiet and good night in weeks.
Here you go guys! I'm sorry if it's crap, but I was really busy these last few days, and some people kept distracting me when I wasn't. Yes, I mean you. Anyway, I promised you an update and I wanted to keep my promise, so here it is. I'll try and make it less crappy when I'm more awake. It's 3am over here now, so I'm in desperate need for my bed. Good thing tomorrow is a holiday so I don't have to work.
Buhbye bumble bees!