Walking through the cemetery, I was helping Buffy patrol while she was taking one side, and I took the other so that we could cover more ground. I felt a presence behind me and smelt the scent of a vampire. Swiftly turning around, I raised the stake in my hand but stopped when I saw who it was.
"Can we talk?" Spike asked as I lowered the sharpened piece of wood in my hand.
"Vocal-chord wise? Yes. With each other? No." Turning, I then started to walk away.
"We have to talk." Spike continued to follow me. Sighing, I stopped in my tracks.
"About what?" I asked while keeping my back to him.
"We kissed, Aud."
"So?" Clearing my throat, I resumed walking.
"We-We kissed." The vampire began to follow me again. "You and me. All Gone With the Wind, with the rising music and the rising....music. And what was that, Aud?"
"A spell?" I shrugged while looking over my shoulder.
"Oh, don't get all prim and proper on me." Spike stood in front of me, stopping me from walking. "I know what kind of girl you really are." Shifting on my feet, I looked at him. "Don't I?"
"What we did is done." I said. "But I will never kiss you, Spike, never touch you ever, ever again." Shaking my head, I suddenly saw a stake flying at Spike. Tackling him to the ground, the weapon missed and got stuck in a tree. Looking up, I saw two vampires and a shark-like demon. "Okay, now it's never again."
"Now, easy, boys." The blue-grey demon raised his hands. "No need to get physical, eh?" Getting to my feet, I dusted off my knees. "Is there, Mr. Spike?"
"You know this shark?" I asked while raising a brow.
"Yeah. What do you want?"
"Uh, me? Uh, there are a lot of things I would like, Mr. Spike." He strolled over and pulled the stake out of the tree with a grunt. "A house in Bel Air with a generously sized swimming pool, and, of course, the 40 Siamese that you owe me." The demon dropped his voice while tossing an arm around the blond.
"Take it easy. You'll get your kittens." 'Of course.... Damn kitten poker. It's always about kitten poker.' I thought while crossing my arms.
"Oh, I trust you, Mr. Spike."
"Oh, cheeses. What is it with you guys? Why kittens of all things?" I asked, and the shark demon looked at me. "Why can't you just use money like everybody else, or candy like the kids?"
"She's funny." The demon in the plum suit chuckled while turning to Spike. "I like funny in a girl." My tail twitched as I rolled my eyes.
"I just need a little more time."
"Oh, time, time- Time is what turns kittens into cats. Look, I don't want to see anyone get hurt. Boys." He said while turning away. His vampire lackeys came at us, and I punched one back by giving a solid hit to the gut.
"Then you better go blind." Pushing Spike back with my tail, I knocked the other vampire down before twirling the stake in my hand. "Wanna keep going?" I asked.
"I said she was the Slayer's pet, boss." One of the vampires said as my tail swayed.
"Ah, good for you." The shark demon began to pace. "Pet to the Vampire Slayer."
"Not her pet." I crossed my arms.
"Have you ever given any thought to, uh, freelance work? A little debt collecting, perhaps?" He chuckled.
"I'll pass."
"Boss, he's gone. Spike split." One of the vampires sighed. Turning around, I saw that he really was gone. 'That son of a bitch....' I lowly growled.
"Ah, well, that's what I get for socializing. All right, come on, boys. We'll locate Mr. Spike and, uh, talk to him a little more." The shark guy said while fixing his tie. "Oh, it was a genuine pleasure." He sort of bowed before snarling with a little growl at me. I sighed while shaking my head.
"If I would just stop saving his ass, it would make things so much simpler."
~
I was restocking the shelves behind the counter, and Pops was talking to Buffy in the back of the shop. I already knew what he was telling her since he already told me. He was going to tell us both at the same time but thought against it since that would mean he'd have an upset Slayer and half-demon to deal with at once. So, I was the first that he told about him going back to England.
"So, what do we got?" Dawn asked when she and Tara arrived, and Pops and Buffy were done talking.
"Sorry?" Pops looked up while Anya and Tara were thumb-wrestling.
"What kind of ooglie-booglies?" Dawn continued as I replaced empty jars and fixed the displayed items behind the register. "Lizard-y types or, um, zombies or-or vampires or what?"
"There are no ooglie-booglies, Dawn." Pops stated while cleaning his glasses.
"Thanks for the jacket. It's cold out there." Willow said as she came in with Xander.
"Not a problem. The cold only makes me stronger and more macho-like." He replied, and Pops rose to his feet.
"I'm glad you're here. Um...." Pops glanced at Buffy and I while putting his hands into his pockets. "I have something I really have to tell you all. Um, I know it feels like we've been through this before."
"Why don't you just jump to the chase?" Buffy stood up off the metal stairs. "Tell them that you're-"
"Buffy." I cut her off. "Just let him-" I was interrupted by the front door bursting open before it was slammed shut. I could tell it was a vampire from the smoke coming off the brown suit.
"Spike?" Pops raised a brow at him.
"Holy moly." Anya said as I burst into laughter at how ridiculous he looked with the hat and suit he was wearing.
"You need to give me asylum." Spike said as I had to hold my stomach, and put one hand on the counter.
"I'll say." Xander popped off.
"No need to get cute. It's a disguise." He pulled the hat off. "Happens there's a bloke I'd rather not see just now." The vampire walked over and sat on the counter next to the cash register. "Hey, stop laughing." He looked at me, and I quickly stood up while covering my grin. "You met him, I believe. Toothy bloke with the baby seal breath."
"Shark dude?" I asked.
"Nasty fellow, him, and ugly too." The vampire nodded. "He's got a mouthful of choppers just waiting to be yanked out and worn as necklaces." There was a pause as I was still snickering. When I was done, I waved a hand.
"Okay, I'm good. I'm good."
"Well, now we've recovered from Spike's sartorial humor, I'll jump....to the case." Pops looked back at Buffy. "Um," He stepped closer to the middle of the room, and I began to play with my necklace. "I'm headed back to England, and I plan to stay....indefinitely." Pops sat down next to Anya. I looked down at the ring on the black chain to distract me from everyone's sad looks.
"Now? No now. I mean, not after....everything." Xander said.
"Yes, now."
"For real this time?" Anya asked. "'Cause, honest to Pete, a young shopkeeper's heart can only take so much. I mean, not that I want you to go."
"I can't do this." Buffy said while walking away. "I just- I-I need to-"
"Buffy." I called her name, but she didn't stop.
"Listen," Willow began. "I know things must be awful for you and Aud, and I-I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry for what we-"
"'I'm sorry.'" Buffy shook her head. "Everybody's sorry." She tossed her hands up. "I know that you guys are just trying to help, but it's just- it's too much. And-And I-I can't take it anymore." She was near tears. "If you guys....If you guys understood how it felt- how it feels." 'I do.' I thought while looking down at my skull ring again. "It's like I'm dying in-"
"Buff....y!" I called out when she suddenly collapsed, but I was abruptly engulfed in darkness as I hit the floor.
~
"Oaf!" I suddenly woke up as a heavy weight fell on me. Something crashed, and there was a feminine scream. Looking up, I saw a blond man with extremely blue eyes above me. "Um....mind getting off?" I asked when I saw he was staring at me.
"Oh, yeah." He cleared his throat while nodding. "Of course." He hopped to his feet before offering me a hand to help me up. I took it, feeling just how cold his skin was. 'Jeez, he needs mittens or something.' I thought. Looking around, I saw that I was in a strange place with strange faces.
"Who-Who are you people?" The young girl asked while cowering against a display case.
"Don't worry." A blonde woman knelt beside the girl
"Please don't hurt me."
"O-Oh, it's okay. I don't know anyone here either." She gave the girl a reassuring smile.
"Yeah? Who are you?"
"I, uh...." She trailed off.
"Okay, who are you freaks?" A brunette man stood up off the ground while pointing.
"You don't know me?" A redhead asked while rising to her feet.
"Not a clue." He waved a hand.
"But you were just all, like, 'Oh, hey.'"
"Yeah, 'cause I thought you were a girl and I'd remember, but-" He raised his hands while shrugging.
"Well, I am a girl." She said after grabbing her chest. "I'm not sure who I am exactly, but...." She trailed off.
"Okay, why was I on the ground?" The brunette asked while pointing to the floor. "And why are you all staring at me? Is this some kind of psych test? Am I gettin' paid for this?"
"It's not just you." An older man with glasses stood up from a bench at a table. "Does anyone remember anything?"
"Nope." The man in the brown suit next to me sighed.
"Maybe we all got terribly drunk, and this is some sort of blackout." The older male suggested.
"I don't think I drink." The girl crossed her arms.
"I-I don't see any booze. I don't feel any head bumps." Another blonde woman with a flowery shirt said. "I don't see Allen Funt." She added while looking around.
"Who?"
"Okay, I'm not panicking. I'm not. I'm not." The brunette was obviously panicking. "Stop looking at me like I'm panicking."
"H-Hey, take it easy, guy." The shorter blonde told him. "O-Okay, no one's hurt. Right? An-And none of us look all hatchet-y-murder-y. So we're probably safe here. ....Wherever here is." She added.
"Look at the stuff on these shelves." The redhead looked past me, and I turned to see a shelf covered in various strange objects. "Weird jars of weird stuff. Weird books with weird covers. Like, 'Magic for Beginners'- Oh!" She said after grabbing a book off the counter by a cash register.
"This is a magic shop. A-A real magic shop." A woman with a long coat smiled as she stood up from her chair.
"Well, m-maybe that's it. Maybe something magic happened." The short blonde looked at us.
"Magic?" The older man snickered. "Magic's all balderdash and chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing." He said before making a face. "Except I seem to be British, don't I? A-And a man. With glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably." He smiled while taking off the glasses.
"I don't like this." The girl looked at the blonde as I checked my chest for breasts or the lack thereof. 'Hey, gotta know.' I thought while feeling breasts beneath my shirt.
"It's okay. Don't worry. We'll take care of each other." The short blonde said. 'Okay, be double sure.' And I put a hand on my crotch. 'Yeah, I'm a chick.'
"We'll get our memory back, and it'll all be right as rain." The British man grinned while looking down at his glasses.
"Oh, listen to Mary Poppins." The man beside me popped off. "He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent." He said while also sounding English. "You Englishmen are always so-" He cut himself off while furrowing his brows. "Bloody Hell. Sodding. Blimey. Shagging. Knickers. Bollocks." He said while raising a finger for each phrase. "Oh, God. I'm English."
"Welcome to the nancy tribe." The older male in a dark suit put his glasses back on.
"You don't suppose you and I- We're not related, are we?" The bleached-blond pointed.
"There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance." The floral-shirted woman said while looking at the two of them.
"An-And you do inspire a, um, well, a particular feeling of familiarity and....disappointment." He furrowed his brows as the man beside me walked out from behind the counter. "Older brother?" He put a hand on his chest.
"Father." The blond scoffed. "Oh, God, how I must hate you." The older man looked offended.
"What did I do?"
"There's always something. And what's with the trollop?" He pointed at the woman standing next to him.
"Hey."
"Her?"
"I saw you sleepin' together."
"Resting together." The older man corrected.
"Look! It's okay. We're engaged." She said while showing off a ring on her finger.
"Oh." The older man straightened his tie while smiling.
"It's a lovely ring." She smiled back.
"Oh, great. A tarty stepmom who's half old Daddy's age."
"Tarty?"
"Old? You little twerp. I'm young enough to still get carded."
"Carded! Driver's licenses!" The redhead piped up. She began to look through her pockets, and everyone followed suit.
"It's me. Alexander Harris." The brunette man said while looking into a wallet. "Cute picture. Hey, I exist." He smiled while showing off the ID.
"I'm Willow Rosenberg." The redhead chuckled. "Willow. Funny name."
"I think it's pretty." The woman with the long coat smiled.
"What do you got?"
"Tara. A-And look, I'm a student at UC Sunnydale."