"Pops, you don't have to help." I looked at him as he was holding a towel and reaching for a plate.
"You cooked." Buffy added as we stood next to each other at the sink. I was washing the dishes before handing them off to her for her to rinse them.
"Oh, come on. I quite like to cook." Pops said while drying the plate. "Helping out makes me feel useful."
"Wanna clean out the garage on Saturday? You could feel indispensable." Dawn asked while bringing more dishes to the sink.
"Hmm. How tempting."
"Dawn, if there are any plates in your room, let's have them before they get furry and we have to name them." Buffy looked over at her sister.
"Hey, I was, like, five then." She stated before leaving the kitchen.
"How is she doing?" Pops asked in a low voice. Buffy answered with a face. "And you two?"
"I'm okay." I handed Buffy a cup.
"Well, some minutes are harder than others." The Slayer rinsed it off and put it in the drying rack.
"I'm so sorry." Pops leaned against the counter. "All I can say is it will get better."
"It has to." Buffy turned off the water as I pulled the drain up in the sink. "We're holding up, though. You know, getting into a routine."
"Good. Routine's good." Pops nodded. "In fact, I was thinking that we might return to our training schedule." There was a quiet pause as I dried my hands off on my pants.
"I don't know." Buffy said. "I was, um, thinking about....maybe taking a break or something." The Slayer set down the towel she had onto the island and headed to the living room. "Just ease off for a while, not get into full slay mode." Pops and I followed her.
"You were doing so well." Giles took off his glasses.
"And-And you were great, helping me with everything." They sat on the couch while I sat on the coffee table. "I'm just starting to feel uneasy about stuff."
"Stuff?" Pops questioned.
"Training, slaying. All of it. I mean, uh, I can beat up the demons until the cows come home, and then I can beat up the cows. But I'm not sure I like what it's doing to me." Buffy said.
"But you've mastered so much. I mean, your strength and resilience alone-"
"Yeah." Buffy cut him off. "Strength, resilience. Those are all words for hardness. I'm starting to feel like being the Slayer is turning me into stone."
"Turning you into stone?" I furrowed my brows. "Buffy-"
"Just- Think about it." She stood up and took a few steps away from the couch. "I was never there for Riley, not like I was for Angel. I was terrible to Dawn."
"At a time like this-" Pops began.
"No."
"You're bound to feel emotionally numb." He told her.
"Before that." 'Buffy, no. You have a heart of gold like your mother.' I thought but didn't say it out loud. I didn't know how to. "Riley left because I was shut down. He's gone." Buffy paused. "And now my mom is gone. And I loved her more than anything, and....I don't know if she knew."
"Oh, she knew." Pops and I said as he stood up and went to Buffy.
"Always." He put a hand on her shoulder.
"I don't know." She looked up at him. "To slay, to kill- it means being hard on the inside. Maybe being the perfect Slayer means being too hard to love at all." Buffy looked as if she was close to crying. "I already feel like I can hardly say the words."
"Buffy-"
"Giles....I love you. Aud, I love you." She looked at both of us. "Love, love, love, love, love- Giles, it feels strange."
"Well, I shouldn't wonder." Pops sat on the coffee table with me. Turning around, I switched sides I sat on to face Buffy.
"How serious are you about this?" I asked as Pops put his glasses back on.
"Ten." I had to turn back around since she sat down on the couch. "Serious to the amount of 10."
"There is something....in the Watchers' diaries." Pops leaned his elbows on his knees. "A quest."
"A quest?"
"Like finding a grail or something?" I raised a brow.
"Not a grail. Maybe answers." He nodded. "It would take a day, perhaps two."
"I'm not leaving Dawn, not with Glory looking for her."
"Sure you can. What's the deal?" Dawn came in and sat next to her sister.
"Some Slayers before Buffy found it helpful in regaining their focus, in learning more about their role." Looking at Pops as he talked, I grew curious. "There's a sacred place in the desert. It's not far."
"But I can't go." Buffy turned to her little sister. "I'm not leaving you, Dawn." As I was about to say I could watch Dawn, the young girl spoke first.
"If you have to go learn- I mean, if it'll help you out, I think you should do it. I can hang with the gang. I'll be okay." Buffy looked at Pops, then back to Dawn.
"I love you, Dawn. You know that, right?"
"Yeah. I love you too."
"I love you, really love you."
"Gettin' weird." Dawn awkwardly smiled.
"Sorry. But it's important that I tell you. Weird love's better than no love." They smiled at each other and hugged.
"Should make a Hallmark card with that on it." I chuckled.
~
Going out into the desert with Buffy and Pops, I would breathe fire every now and then from the heat. Despite that, though, we all were wearing jackets because it would get extremely cold in a few hours when the sun would go down. When Pops stopped the car, we all hopped out and followed him to the back.
"What's in the trunk?" Buffy asked.
"Supplies."
"Supplies? I was wondering about that. Like food, water, maybe a compass?"
"What about a book, a gourd, and a bunch of twigs?" Giles pulled out said items from the trunk.
"I don't think I'll be that hungry." Buffy said as I closed the trunk.
"They're for me. Come on. This way." Pops gestured while walking away. The Slayer and I exchanged glances before following. "You see, the location of the sacred place is a guarded secret. I can't take you there myself. I'll have to perform a ritual to transfer my guardianship of you, temporarily, to a-to a guide." Giles said as we were going up a hill. "This'll do." He stopped walking.
"A guide...." Buffy began.
"But no food or water?" I finished.
"So it leads me to a sacred place, and then a week later it leads you to my bleached bones?"
"Buffy, please." Pops said as he set the twigs on the ground. "It takes more than a week to bleach bones."
"So, how's it start?" Buffy and I said at the same time, and Pops kind of gave us a look.
"You two are starting to act like bloody twins." He mumbled under his breath. "I, uh, jump out of the circle, then I jump back in it, and then, um," He paused. "I shake my gourd."
"Well, I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the Hokey Pokey and turn themselves around."
"Go quest." Pops gave Buffy a look while standing up. He then shook the gourd, jumped out and into the twig circle, and shook the gourd again.
"And that's what it's all about." Pops then sat down in the circle, reading from the book in another language. Looking at Buffy, I shrugged.
"Guess you gotta get questing." I said.
~
Sitting on the hood of Pops's car, I looked up at the stars while stuffing some Goldfish into my mouth. Giles was leaning on his car as he took a drink from his thermos lid and sighed.
"I wonder what Buffy's doing."
"Oh, uh, she's probably receiving guidance from her ancestors in the form of faces in the clouds." Giving Pops a look, I pointed at him with a Goldfish.
"This isn't the Lion King, Pops, I'm being serious. And if it was, that would make you Rafiki." He looked back at me.
"I am not a monkey who-who waves around a stick, bonking people on the head with it." Pops replied.
"Could have fooled me with the way you were shaking that gourd around. I better warn Buffy when she comes back to watch out and make sure you don't try to wipe some fruit on her forehead." Smirking, I filled my mouth with Goldfish.
"Brilliant. I raised you, and my reward is getting compared to an animated baboon." He rolled his eyes. "Maybe I should hit you over the head with a stick." Pops chuckled.
~
"'Cause what we need right now is a sane Aud and to find Buffy."
"Whoa. Group hang time?" Buffy asked as she and I walked into the living room. The guys were standing around the weapons chest with it open, and Xander was holding an ax.
"That-That was quick." Willow looked at me. "And Buffy's here."
"Didn't seem like it to me. Death is my gift." The Slayer said while holding her coat in her arms.
"Aud, we need to talk." Xander gestured to me.
"What about? Is Dawn all right?" I asked while looking around and not seeing the little Summers.
"Is Dawn okay?" Buffy and I looked at everyone.
"Dawn's fine." Willow furrowed her brows.
"Aud, we care about you, and we're worried about you. The way you're acting, the things you're doing-"
"It's wrong." Anya finished what Xander was saying. Giving a confused look, I shifted on my feet.
"Thanks, but, huh?"
"Wait. This shouldn't be about blame." Willow gestured.
"Blame?"
"There's blame now?" Buffy asked.
"No." Willow shook her head. "There's only love and....some fear."
"Why? I told you guys I'd never go dark side. My demon blood is under complete control." I waved a hand.
"Not that. We're just kinda thrown by the you having sex with Spike."
"The what now?" I cleared my throat as Buffy looked at me with wide eyes.
"Okay, that's denial. That usually comes before anger." Anya nodded.
"I'm not having sex with Spike! Remember, I still think kissing is icky." Looking at everyone, I wondered how in the Hell they had gotten that idea into their heads.
"Anger." Anya pointed.
"No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact, but well-muscled." Xander moved his hand as he talked.
"I am not having sex with Spike." I stated clearly.
"But I'm starting to think that you might be." Buffy popped off. 'Well, at least she's backing me.'
"Aud, I saw you." Xander awkwardly chuckled. "Anya, too." The ex-demon nodded. "We saw you and Spike with the straddling."
"That's impossible. I was with Buffy and Pops in the desert." Pointing a thumb at the Slayer, she nodded.
"Spike's mine. Who's straddling Spike?"
"Oh, my cheeses." My jaw hung open as I looked at myself standing in front of me.
"And so say all of us."
"Say, look at you." The metallic smelling me smiled. "You look just like me. We're very pretty."
"Uh, thanks...." I mumbled while just staring at her. She was wearing a leather jacket and a Sex Pistols t-shirt like the ones I owned.
"Two of them." Willow was looking back and forth between her and I while Buffy stood between us, looking for a difference.
"Hey, I know this. They're both Aud." Xander pointed.
"No. She's a robot, can't you smell the metal? She smells like a freakin' piggy-bank." I waved a hand.
"She acts just like that girlfriend-bot that Warren guy made." Buffy said while still trying to find a visible difference.
"You guys couldn't tell me apart from a piggy bank with wires?" I glanced at each of them.
"Oh, I don't think I'm a piggy bank with wires." She shook her head.
"She's very well done." Anya smiled.
"Oh, please." I rolled my eyes while crossing my arms.
"No, Anya's right, Aud. Look, she's even got your freckles and mole." Buffy pointed at the robot's face.
"Spike must have had her built so he could program her to-" Xander stopped as he pointed at me and gestured to the bot.
"Oh, my cheeses."
"Yikes. Imagine the things-"
"No! No imagining, any of you!" I cut Willow off while cringing. "It's too gross."
"I already got the visual." Xander raised his hand.
"People, friends of mine, you're forgetting the most important thing. Glory has Spike, and she's going to harm him." Aud-bot stated.
"Glory has Spike?" Buffy and I said at the same time.
"Heh, we were gonna bring that up." Xander waved a hand.
"We were getting weapons."
"Grab 'em. We're going now." Buffy looked at the guys.
"And I have to kill him." I nodded. "Slowly and painfully."
"We don't even know where to look." Willow looked at me.
"I know where to start." The Slayer stated.
"Then I can probably track from there." Flexing my claws, I felt my teeth sharpen into fangs.
~
"Glory's Key-sniffing snake was about here when we killed it." Buffy said as we stood in the middle of a park. "It was headed back to her."
"Do you think she lives around here?" Willow asked.
"It's not a lot to go on." Xander said.
"It's all we got." Buffy half-shrugged while I had my nose in the air, trying to catch the scent of Hell-god.
"It's quite extraordinary, really." Pops said while tilting his head at the Aud-bot.
"Thank you. But I really think we should be listening to Buffy, Pups." Aud-bot nodded. "She's very smart, and she's gonna help us save Spike."
"Pups? Spike didn't even bother to program my name properly." Pops looked back at us.
"Listen, piggy-bank, we are not going to save him." I pointed at the mechanical me. "We're going to kill him. He knows who the Key is-"
"And there's no way he's not telling Glory." Buffy finished.
"You're right. He's evil." Then she smiled. "But you should see him naked. I mean, really."
"Ew-kay...." I cringed. The breeze then switched directions, and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. "Whoa, got her." Sniffing, I turned my head while putting my nose back into the air.
"Which way?" Buffy asked.
"This way." Walking off, I began to track Glory.
Rushing into a hotel, the Scoobies and I immediately went into battle. Glory's lackeys were in the lobby, and I let my ears point out. These were lightweights, I wouldn't need to let out my tail. Losing focus on hiding my claws, fangs, and ears would give me plenty of strength to take on multiple amounts of these short, scabby demons.
Fighting, I would hit and dodge and kick at the pipsqueaks as they attacked me. A few landed a couple of lucky hits, but not hard enough to injure me at all. But when the Aud-bot got damaged, the rest of them fled, knowing they were overpowered.
~
"Is it weird?" Tara asked me with her arms crossed.
"Totally." I nodded while looking at Willow working on the broken robot. Walking over, I sat beside Willow at the table. "At least it's not a very good copy. I mean, yeah, got my freckles and stuff, but look at it." I set my cheek on the table while looking into the blank eyes of the mechanical me.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah." Willow said after a pause. Glancing up, I saw everyone giving this awkward look. My ear twitched when the front door's bell jingled and Pops and Xander walked in.
"What did you guys do with Spike?" I asked. "And please let the tale have a dusty ending."
"We dumped him back in his crypt." Xander said.
"Tried to find out if he'd told her anything, but he was too badly beaten to make much sense." Pops put his hands into his pockets as I sat up.
"Well, even if he told her, he'd just lie to us about it anyway, right?" Anya asked.
"Yeah. You can count on it." Buffy crossed her arms. "But I have to know....now. If he did give us up, Dawn and I need to get out of town. I mean, she could be on her way right now."
"But, uh, not to worry, you know." Pops smiled at Dawn. "I'm sure we'll all be perfectly safe."
"We're safe. Right." Dawn smiled back. "And Spike built a robot Aud to play checkers with."
"I-It sounded convincing when I thought it." Tara said when I looked at her.
"Hey, uh, I think I found something." Willow spoke up from behind the bot's back.
"Looks very complicated in there." Anya stated while walking over to look. "Personally, I'd rather look at guts."
"I found where she's broken. Some of these wires got fried extra crispy. It's an easy fix." She smiled, and I gave her a look. "I mean, not that I would." Willow shook her head.
"God, I feel kind of bad for the guy." Xander gestured to the bot. "Get's all whupped, and his best toy gets taken away."
"Xander," He looked at me. "please don't be suggesting what I'd have to kill you for suggesting."
"No, no. Travesty. Completely on board." Xander waved a hand. "It's just....the guy was so thrashed." There was a moment of silence as I looked at the robot.
"I think I may have a solution to our current information problem." I sighed.
"What?" Buffy asked while raising a brow.
"I pretend to be Aud-bot."
~
Calmly opening the crypt door, I strutted over to the vampire laying on a concrete tomb. Standing there, I truly got to see what Xander meant by 'thrashed.' Thinking before I spoke, I imagined what the broken piggy bank might say.
"Spike, you're covered in sexy wounds." He slowly rolled his head to the side and looked at me.
"Yeah." Spike forced himself to sit up. "I feel real sexy. Where you been?"
"I fell down and got confused." I mentally rolled my eyes at how absurd this was, but this was my plan. "Willow fixed me. She's lesbian." Nodding, I looked at the beaten man.
"Will fixed you? Thought they'd melt you into scrap."
"They were confused, too." Thinking, I tried to come up with a convincing act to get Spike to think I was the robot. "Do you wanna ravage me now?" I grinned like a dork while mentally vomiting.
"Give us a minute. Got some bones need mendin'." Spike said weakly.
"Why did you let that Glory hurt you?" I asked while looking confused.
"She wanted to know who the Key was." He glanced at me briefly before looking down.
"Oh, well, I can tell her," I tossed my arms up at my sides before turning to the door. "and then you won't hav-"
"No!" Spike raised his voice and coughed from doing so. Turning back, I made a confused face again. "You can't ever." He looked at me with one eye not swollen shut. "Glory never finds out."
"Why?" I tilted my head.
"'Cause Buffy- if anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. And those two mean the world to Aud- the other not-so-pleasant Aud. I couldn't live- her being in that much pain." The vampire shook his head. "I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did." Looking at him, I couldn't help but feel horrible now. I needed to somehow apologize for thinking he'd do something so awful to Dawn. 'I can't believe I'm about to do this....' I mentally sighed as my shoulders slumped.
Taking a step closer, I leaned forward and kissed him. Instead of giving a simple peck on the cheek, I kissed him on the mouth. His lips were cold.
It only took him a second to know something was off. For one thing, the robot was also cold- I wasn't. Leaning back, I gave him a serious look, seeing how his brows were furrowed as he seemed confused. Then, I began to walk away.
"And my robot?" He asked as I was a few feet away. Turning around, I sighed.
"The Aud-bot is gone." Shifting on my feet, I put my hands into my back pockets. "The piggy bank smelling me was gross and obscene." Spike looked at the ground.
"It wasn't supposed to-"
"Don't. That robot- It wasn't even real." I began to walk away again, only to stop before I got to the door. "What you did for the Summers and me- that was real. I won't forget it." Looking back over my shoulder, I saw Spike looking at me. "Thank you." I said quietly before leaving, and, for some strange reason, it didn't bother me like I thought it would to kiss Spike.