Despite the darkness and the coldness she had felt initially, her wrist suddenly felt warm.
Then the blackness dispersed, brightened by threads of purple and gold that danced on her skin. Suddenly, she could feel her whole being again, and not just the numbness of the darkness that surrounded her before.
The purple and gold strings that danced on her wrist soon began to grow even warmer and took a corporeal form.
A dragon. The serpent, although small in size, caressed her skin and coiled around her. It was silent, but she could feel its affection towards her as its scales grazed her cheeks and danced against her hair playfully.
Then the dragon left her, illuminating a sole path in front of her.
She decisively followed it. She felt an intimate feeling rousing when it was close the her.
The energy it left behind in its trail, beckoning for her to keep up, felt warm and comforting.
Then she closed her eyes as she passed the blinding gate of light.
When she opened them again, she noticed that her surroundings were familiar. YuLan glanced left and right, recalling the small details that she remembered from a long time ago. There was a stifling yawn threatening to escape from her lips, but she held it down.
Something felt bizarre. She was herself; but at the same time, she was not. Although she was supposed to feel thrown off by the sudden shift of environment, she currently felt calm. She looked at everyone and everything like it was normal; like it was another day for her.
She mindlessly twirled her long hair through her fingers, feeling a bit bored for waiting. As usual, she looked around her to take in the familiar sights.
The pedestrian crossing over there; the tall tree that had been planted by the local council since god-knows-when – giving necessary shade to the people lining up behind her; the fresh smell of coffee.
The aromatic house-blend of arabica and stronger robusta coffee beans, personally created by her old friend from her university days. In the end, he even opened his own café.
"Here you go, hon. Soy flat white, double dose."
She turned her head and saw the familiar face.
"Thank you, John," came the voice from her own mouth.
Upon seeing him and his playful grin, she felt the urge to cry. But instead, she only smiled towards the young man that she had not seen for decades.
----------
Jonathan Aditya.
He was a mixed-blood, just like how Mia Simmons was. However, his parentage was from a British-born mother, and an Indonesian-born father. His parents were strict Christians. Therefore, imagine their reaction when finding out that their son was batting for the same gender. It ultimately also contributed to the divorce of his parents.
Mr. Aditya blamed the free white society that he believed had given the disease to his only son. He also ended up blaming his then-wife for not playing the traditional role of a stay-at-home mother and therefore had failed to bring up Jonathan properly. After all, they were a two-income household where the wife also had to work. Mrs. Aditya – now Mrs. Randy – also finally gave up on Jonathan – John – after trying to engage several priests to rid him of his abnormal sexual orientation. After she got divorced, she re-married and had another child. Mr. Aditya went back to Indonesia and also re-married. Soon, he too, had another child.
Only in the span of a few years since he came out of the closet, Jonathan was forgotten just like that.
When Mia first knew John, he was a recluse and afraid of human relationships. Back then, he was a part-timer at their university's cafeteria to support his living expenses as he had been disowned by his own family.
Mia Simmons could be considered a social butterfly. She was not short of friends, and she was quite popular amongst her peers.
Initially, she did not look twice at the new kid working at the cafeteria; until she tasted the coffee he made. Back then, the coffee beans used were much less superior – after all, it was just a university's canteen – but the coffee that he made was unforgettable. For Mia Simmons - a person that had to stay focused throughout the long-lecturing days by the various professors at the university, as well as for the caffeine boost that her brain needed to finish her final year's dissertation – Jonathan Aditya was a God-send.
Throughout various sources – including the janitor and the cafeteria's auntie – Mia Simmons found out about John's family background.
It was definitely not just to have him as her personal barista – or so she had convinced herself – that she finally befriended him and coaxed him to live together with her and her flatmates, in a two-bedroom flat downtown. She had always occupied the smaller room by herself, but she ended up buying a bunk-bed for Jonathan as well. Because one of her flatmates was a bisexual, John slowly warmed up to the three people in the flat. In between coffee shots and nights of getting drunk – especially after Mia successfully graduated from university with honour – they constantly assured John that there was nothing wrong with him.
He did not have any disease, nor was he disgusting.
Upon Mia and her friends' persuasion, John entered a few local barista competitions, then a few out-of-town competitions, snatched a few prizes over the next few years, and finally gained enough caffeine-loving fans and sponsors to enable him to open [Café Good].
John had come a long way since then.
----------
Mia also injected some of her money to help John to develop his café.
Thus, John granted free coffee for life, for the business-savvy and caffeine-loving woman.
"He kept wanting to pay for your coffee, darling." John flashed another grin while pushing his spectacle up his nose,
"I did not have the heart to tell him that I never charge you for your coffee. So, I'll just consider his loyal patronage as additional tip for me. After all, I have to play cupid for the both of you, you know. John's wingman service does not come for free."
"Hn." She snorted lightly, "And sure, it's not just that you are interested in his friend?"
"Ahahaha~!!" John laughed and waved his hand to shoo her away, now preparing to brew a new order for the customer that had been lining up behind Mia,
"What can I say? I have never seen someone else looking good in glasses. Apart from me, of course."
Then John's eyes brightened as he squinted his eyes, looking behind Mia's shoulders,
"Well, isn't he punctual. I know it is Thursday, but wow, he's never late. He is a dying breed, Mia. You better snatch him quick before I lay my paws on the both of them. And my my my... my darling megane (1), [*****], is looking mighty fine today, too."
Mia turned her head and saw two handsome young men in their suits crossing the street. Her lips curled.
The soul inside Mia – YuLan's soul – shivered at the sight of the person walking slightly forward than the other. His eyes, his tapered and expectant gaze, the silhouette of his face, the familiar lines of his face, his stature... . His brows were sharper and thicker than what she remembered, but the light on his eyes as he looked at her was the same - gentle and worshipping. The way he looked at her, as if she was the only one existing in the whole world.
More than ever, YuLan wanted to cry.
What was this world? Was this really her past life? But how could she not recall the person's existence in her memory?
Was he not just an illusion created by her probably already unstable mind? An illusion to comfort herself, willing him to appear in a world where death should be because of old age – not from being stabbed in the chest by a sword, or from being assaulted by a maniac.
"Hi, [***], [*****], Lovely to see you again." Mia waved her hands to return both men's greeting. Faintly from [Café Good]'s counter, John also waved towards both men,
"Espresso and Latte coming right up for my handsomes!! [***]!, [*****]!, Good Morning!!"
"[***]?"
"[*****]?"
"Who?"
"Why are their names just some distorted noise?"
"SongLi! You ... .... This is you, right?"
Mia Simmons kept conversing with the two men. One of them was noticeably more nervous when talking with her. He kept putting his hands inside his pant's pockets, taking them out, putting them in again in his attempt to look casual, taking them out... .
Mia Simmons smiled lightly. Everything that he did, she noticed.
Everything that he said, she listened, engraving his voice to the depth of her memories.
After knowing the man for several weeks, he had burrowed his existence into her heart.
Surely Mia Simmons would not forget?
Her heart thumped.
"My heart?"
----------
She met his brother, [***]. Through her own eyes – or at least Mia Simmons' eyes – YuLan got to experience all these memories that should have belonged to her, but which she could not remember.
The older brother was a doctor – a good-looking young doctor who evidently loved his younger brother very much.
Everything passed quickly, like fast-forwarded scenes of a movie.
Then her phone rang. Without even looking at the caller's id, she knew that it was her mother.
The ringtone used for her mother's incoming call was a guqin version of a song that she knew well. However, Mia did not know the lyrics to it. She remembered it was her mother's favourite song, but everytime her mother sang it, Mia never paid any attention.
But she also remembered that SongLi had put the lyrics to the song, singing it for her in that other lifetime – the lifetime that was so precious to her, because he was in it.
"My brother and I grew up with our mother constantly singing that song to us, it's practically our lullaby." The man with SongLi's face told her, laughing.
When was the last time she heard the enchantingly ringing sound of his laugh?
"SongLi... SongLi... SongLi... ."
----------
They made love.
Even through Mia Simmons' soul -- YuLan's soul -- she knew, she should not have forgotten this person.
If this person ever existed in her past life, he should have stayed inside her heart, her mind, forever.
YuLan felt wretched.
More than ever, she thought he was just an illusion.
Otherwise, how could she have forgotten?
The euphoric feeling, the heaven she saw when they were connected to each other, his warmth, his voice,
She had been branded as his, as he had been marked as hers.
Her soul cried.
Her tears wanted to fall, but Mia Simmons happily went along with her life, with YuLan's life.
Then her last moments inside the metal flying bird occurred.
Even as she opened her eyes and saw the smoke inside the cabin and the blazing fire outside the plane's window, YuLan knew that the man was no longer inside Mia Simmon's memory.
YuLan – Mia – remembered her nephew, her sister, her colleagues, her mother.
He was forgotten.
Then she was back in darkness. YuLan hugged herself, burying her head inside her arms.
"What if all of this was just a dream?"
"What if Bai YuLan's, Jing YuLan's life was just a dream?"
"What if SongLi never existed? What if I never existed?"
"What is the point of all this? What is the point of all this?"
"Why... Why... . I just want to see him again... ."
"Someone... anyone... please... ."
The warmth she felt on her forehead caused her to lift her head.
The dragon was back.
She blinked, then the dragon's body started to disperse once again, emanating soft light that gradually brightened the darkness. She wanted to reach out, to get a hold of it, to feel something definite in her hand.
After all, she felt a sliver of his existence from that serpent.
But the dragon then completely disappeared. The soft light became clearer.
A figure appeared in front of her, on the wall of light that still bore purplish gold hues. The person's face was more than familiar to YuLan. It carried youthful elegance, the younger version of the person she held the most dear.
He sang, his fingers strumming the zither. His voice was raspy and still carried youthful tone.
[Lovebirds resting as a couple, butterflies dancing in pairs;]
[Intoxicated in a garden filled with the beauty of spring]
Every pick of the string caused a ripple inside her heart, clenching it with agonizing sorrow. Soon the tiny ripples spread all over her body, causing her to feel senseless and calm.
Nothing else existed. Only him.
[Isn't she beautiful? Isn't she beautiful?]
[Say, what is wealth? What is prosperity?]
[Why would we be afraid of otherworldly rules]
Then a female voice joined his voice, melding together. The picture shifted to a modern-looking apartment. The female voice was from a speaker.
[I only hope this is an everlasting love]
[I only hope to live with my beloved]
YuLan saw a figure of a man, laying his head on a sofa, whispering the words of the song in between his quivering lips. His short hair was matted against his forehead, his one hand on his head.
He looked like he was in pain.
His cheeks were sunken, his body was much thinner, and his face had lost that healthy colour she had just seen merely moments before.
She wanted to reach out to him.
She wanted to hold him in her arms.
Let him be just an illusion from her crazy mind.
She wanted to hold on to this illusion and never let go.
He whispered, in SongLi's voice, in the voice that she loved so much – though now it carried the sorrow of every existence in the entire universe.
[Loving that person, loving that person]
[May we always be together in this life]
[I... will... accompany you..]
[Forever...]
She reached out both of her hands.
Just a bit more... .
----------
Zuo BingTan was a handsome young man, just two years younger than Cao Lu. Currently he was berating his older sister,
"If you were an Enlightened, merely a heretic practitioner of that trash' level would not have caused such an issue!"
Cao Lu maintained her meditative pose, merely snorting towards her younger brother's chiding,
"I have heard enough from JinHai. I don't need you to give your piece of mind as well!"
"Lu-jie! Why are you so stubborn! Both JinHai and I are now Enlighteneds. Only you amongst us who have not reached the Enlightened rank. Mother has left so much treasure to aid our cultivation. Why have you not consumed any of it?"
Cao Lu's figure visibly stiffened. Then she heard another voice – belonging to her youngest brother, Zuo JinHai,
"Don't tell me that you did not want to take any of her pills because you have been treating them as Mother's momentos?"
Silence.
"Uh... ." Zuo JinHai scratched his neck, "I was spot on?"
Cao Lu opened her eyes abruptly and snarled,
"Shut up! So what! Mother did not leave us anything else apart from that box full of her pills."
"Tsk!" Zuo BingTan clicked his tongue, "Who would have thought that my older sister has such a mother complex!"
Cao Lu whipped her head and raised her chin in disgust towards him,
"Said someone who has named his sword 'niang' (2)!"
"Hey!" Zuo BingTan furrowed his brows, "It is much better than JinHai. His sword is named 'muhou' (3)!"
"Leave me out of this!" The youngest snarled back.
Xiao Zi and Zhen Zhu could only look at each other, pretending to not hear anything that had been said. The rest of the group also sipped their tea or tried their best to converse with each other, ignoring the three Princes and Princess.
Who would have guessed that the three children of the late Empress Yun Ying were of such characters.
"Um... I hate to interject, but... ," Shen Wei suddenly lifted his hand and pointed towards the figure still lying on the bed. There was a whirling gust of breeze forming around the silent visage, as well as a sudden spike of energy emanating from her body.
"I think your pure yin maiden is breaking-through in her sleep."
All attention now shifted towards YuLan who suddenly opened her eyes and proceeded to sit cross-legged on the bed immediately. Everyone knew, she was also aware of her condition and thus was trying to regulate her sudden influx of energy.
----------
Inside of her, she could still feel the faint existence of the dragon, connecting her soul with its purplish gold thread, to the figure that she had barely touched in her dream.
All she could hear was his resounding voice,
"I will accompany you forever."
All she could feel was his warmth. The heat seeped into her cool qi, not causing disarray or tainting her pure yin countenance. Instead, it caused her qi to multiply and soar. She had not felt the sensation for a long time, not since she first opened her Dantians years ago.
The two sources of energy – her own, and the dragon's – melded together and flowed like a steady river throughout her meridians.
Her Xia Dantian was the first to feel it. Nothing new there; after all, as a Martial-Artist, she had long opened her Xia Dantian. However currently, dense flow of qi filled her Dantian to the brim, before making their way to her heart.
Her Zhong Dantian soon felt light. She could feel the energy swirling inside, filling the receptacle that her Dantian could afford. Years ago, the Sage Wei Lan and Sage Xiang Ya of Ping sect had to stop her at this point, lest her physical body would be wrecked with the sudden influx of energy.
After that instance, the energy inside her was dormant and she could only cultivate normally.
However, at this moment, the dragon brought that sensation of invincibility once more, even purer and stronger than when she was little.
Soon after her Zhong Dantian was full, the qi that the dragon had carried along blended with her own. Then the serpent's existence disappeared off her mind, off her soul's senses.
She opened her eyes, to see multiple pairs of eyes looking at her unblinking.
"S-s-s-she has broken through! She is an Enlightened now!" One man in blue robe pointed at her with trembling fingers.
"I wish ZhouLei shidi were here... then I could introduce a demon to another demon." Another blue-robed man shook his head, but there was only amusement inside his voice.
YuLan however, fixated her eyes at the young man clothed in a light-green robe, who was standing by Cao Lu.
There was surprise in his eyes, but that was not what had attracted YuLan's gaze.
His sharp eyebrows, the shape of his nose, his jaw's outline, the thin pair of lips.
Her heart skipped a beat as she stumbled off the bed and walked dazedly towards that person. She could hear her own voice trembling as she grabbed that man's arm,
"SongLi?"
----------
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Notes
(1) A Japanese word that means "glasses".
(2) Niang means mom/mother.
(3) Muhou also means mother, but it is a respectful way of calling towards an imperial mother
-----Runexi's notes-----
Cliffy. Mwahahahaha