Hi to @neldakirby and @lamlanghupi !
I had to do three hours overtime work because we were understaffed and missed sending off my sister to the bus. I didn't get to say goodbye before she went back to university so I was literally crying my eyes out in the back office. Now I sort of feel bad for my manager.
Chapter 29
Cheater
I think the most important reactions are within the space of three seconds after dropping a statement.
Because after that time, his blue eyes shuttered against my words. All thoughts and emotions barred against my inquisitive gaze as if forever to be hidden from me.
Before that though, I caught a glimpse of everything that I needed to know. I might have as well stabbed him in the heart with a smile on my face. Just how much betrayal and suffering did I weigh down on this person? And just why?
Marcus obviously knew a lot. He whipped in Zachary's direction, swallowing. "Zach—"
"All of you, get out." Zach bit out.
Marcus cursed, as if the situation wasn't bad enough without it. Lily pulled at her husband quietly, shaking her head before giving us an apologetic expression. Mara looked cool enough but the way she gave that half-second worried glance in Zachary's direction was everything and more.
"We'll be outside if you need us," Mara said.
Zachary didn't look at his college friends. And it was painful to know that I was confirming the real reasons behind him keeping the past a secret from me even without so much as a word.
I tried to smile, make it all as light and casual as possible, and failed so miserably it was just too embarrassing. The door clicking behind them seemed too loud against the thick tension in the small room.
I was finally opening a can of worms and there was no way to make it any easier.
"There's also another thing. I remember a bit about the accident. The car was too fast and it avoided an oncoming car from the other lane. It lost control and fell into a ditch on the side of the road. I wasn't driving that time." I was finally piecing together all I knew and was putting him through the most grueling process, "Did you know I was with someone else in the car? The driver?"
My questions were met with silence. Zach stood stiffly in front of me.
I nodded, as if he'd answered then continued, "Who was it?"
Again, no answer.
"Zach?" my voice cracked.
Those blue eyes flickered at me blankly, "I don't know." And that was all he said before looking away.
Through the tears, I suddenly had the crazy urge to laugh aloud. I was finally asking all the questions I'd managed to pile up since I woke up.
But now that I'd started talking, I think my mouth was like a tap left open. It wanted to vomit everything. All that poison of what I remembered over the void of what I didn't.
"Yesterday... Valerie provided me answers to those questions. Should we cross check those answers too?" With the back of my hand, I hastily wiped my cheeks.
And this time, I didn't wait for answers anymore.
"The night of the accident, Valerie said I ran off with one of my lovers—plural." A chuckle escaped and it was a dying sound, "that when we got into that accident, he must've though I was done for and ran for his life before you caught up to us. And Valerie had proof too. She showed me divorce papers with my signature on it saying I left it for you that same night to find. That that was how you found—"
Zach didn't look surprised at the mention of the document. So the divorce papers were real. "Red, let me explain—"
"Explain what?" I asked in a deadened voice, "I think I told you everything you need to know of what I remember so far... and I may not remember much else before the accident but I feel like I remember every conversation we had so far after that.
"I remember asking you if I was going somewhere far when I saw the suitcase and you answered me with a question. I remember you telling me I had a fashion sense I insisted on and it turned out to be dressing up in scraps that barely hid anything. I remember the scandalized look everyone threw me when I wore that one dress to that party. I remember the way you all your dubious looks when I threw away those same clothes and wore something more comfortable. You said the people I socialize with would count for friends and I find out they're the type of women who partied hard, went through men then would abort a child in a heartbeat for no conceivably acceptable reason. I couldn't fathom why I would be in the company of such people but let's not forget your mother screaming at me like I was the lowest scum of the earth and calling me... that word. They all point to the same thing you know..."
And that statement Marcus made just now in the heat of anger. The one Zachary cut off...
i closed my eyes briefly, "But there was this one statement that didn't fit into everything else. You said you were my first, Zach. How is that possi—?"
"I didn't lie about that," he told me in a harsh voice. "Red, where are you getting with thi—"
"No?" I cut him off too. "Then I have another question. Did my father arrange this marriage?"
Why did the answer to this question mean so much to me?
The way Zachary was staring at me with those blue eyes. And me knowing he wasn't going to answer... it gave a sudden twinge in my head. But I was already expecting that. If I didn't stop this jog down memory lane, this was going to turn into a full-blown migraine.
I flinched involuntarily.
Zachary noticed quickly. He lifted his hand as if to touch my head, "You're tired—"
I pushed away that hand, "I remember asking about this marriage," I said hastily.
His face darkened at that but I had to finish what I had to say. "What our relationship was like, if we fought a lot, if I... I even loved you. And I especially remember telling you I have a lot of questions. And you promising you'd answer them one at a time... Did you mean to keep those words?"
There was another stab of pain and I had to close my eyes. I must've swayed or blacked out or something because the next thing I knew, arms were enfolding me into a hard chest. A heart beat erratically underneath the shirt as Zach pulled me impossibly closer to him.
"Let's do this another time," Zach sounded almost in pain, "You need to—"
"Can you not keep that promise? I don't want to remember anymore," I whispered weakly.
Zach tensed, suddenly pushing at my shoulders so he could look into my face.
"You mean that."
"You seems surprised," My hands went to my temples as if they could rub off the headache. "You're the one who said the past isn't worth it. And right now, I couldn't agree more."
When I finish the next part, I'll be able to breathe again.