NEW YEARS EVE, 1987, SEATTLE, WA
PLEASE BE WARNED : THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DRUG USE. IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS, PLEASE DO NOT READ.
FOR THE FIRST time in her life, Lindy was sad to see another year come and go. For as long as she could remember, she had relished in every New Years Eve, cheering with relief once the clock hit midnight and another year was left in the past. But nineteen-eighty-seven had been so good to Lindy that she was having a hard time letting go, fearing her luck would run out with the coming of an unpredictable new year.
Standing outside in the snowy night, Lindy smoked a cigarette, leaning against the front of Krist, Shelli and Kurt's house. A party was in full swing inside, as all of their Aberdeen friends had journeyed to Seattle for celebrations. Even Trae had come, bringing along his shiny new girlfriend named Allie. From what Lindy could tell, she was a sweet girl who seemed good for her brother.
Taking a long pull off of her cigarette, Lindy continued to silently hope for an even greater coming year. She could only count on her good fortunate to thrive. For too many years to count, she'd been beaten down with bad circumstances, but her life felt positive now. She was finally on track to a place that was bright and good and happy.
She probably should have gone back to the party but oddly enough, the overwhelming joy of the night had made her light-headed, so she'd escaped outside for a smoke to calm her nerves. It was soothing. watching the clouds of smoke adhere to the frosty atmosphere, staying intact for much longer than they would have in the spring or summertime mugginess.
"Hey," a quiet voice called. Lindy turned her head, seeing Kurt slip out the front door and bunch his hands into his coat pockets.
"Hey," she said concernedly, dropping her cigarette to the ground and grinding it out with her shoe. She met Kurt halfway, trying to catch a glimpse at his face. He was pale. Much paler than usual.
"Are you okay?" she asked him, touching her hands to his arms with an expression of worry. Kurt nodded hastily.
"Yeah, yeah, I am," he swallowed. "It's just . . . my stomach. It was hurting really badly. I had to lay down."
"Have you eaten today?" Lindy inquired, brushing the back of her hand to Kurt's forehead.
"Yes," he answered straightaway. Lindy frowned.
"Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese isn't the most hearty meal, Kurt."
"Linds, I'm fine, I promise," he assured her, determined to steer her attention away from his pain and back to the party. "Come inside. Everyone is asking for you."
They both went back into the house, which had turned into an absolute madhouse of celebration. Shelli had taken the liberty of decorating the house with dollar-store bought embellishments, and Krist had gotten every kind of beer under the sun. He and Kurt had been making decent money with their janitorial jobs, so the night had been a splurge of sorts.
"Lindy!" Trae yelled from across the room, pushing through the thicket of guests while pulling Allie behind him.
"Hey big brother," Lindy smiled.
Lindy could tell by his cloudy eyes and loopy grin that Trae had exceeded his usual levels of intoxication.
"Lindy, Lindy, Lindy. It's a damn shame you don't live closer to me. You and Allie here would get along great," he crowed. Allie smiled shyly, hiding behind her blonde hair in embarrassment.
"Looks like you've taken a leaf out of Krist's book," Lindy laughed. She flashed a charming smile at Allie before throwing her arm around the girl's shoulder.
"Allie and I are already great friends, don't you know?"
"Your brother is great," Allie chimed in, laughing a laugh that was sweet and infectious. "I got lucky that it was him fixing my car in the shop that day."
"Did someone mention my name?" Krist whooped, bounding towards the group and scooping them all into a bear hug.
"It was me. I was just talking about how you and my brother's friendship has secretly escalated and he's using Allie as a coverup," Lindy said seriously.
"True," Krist declared pointedly, before grabbing Trae by the neck and planting a kiss right on his lips. Lindy clapped her hand to her mouth, convulsing with laughter as Trae scrambled out of Krist's grasp. He too was laughing, though he wiped his lips.
"Alright, enough kid stuff. Look what party favor I secured tonight," Krist said slyly. He pulled a small fold of aluminum foil from his pocket and waved it deviously in the air.
"No way," Trae groaned. "Count me out. That shit makes me nuts."
Lindy didn't have to ask to know what was in the foil. She'd been around them all long enough and hell, she was street smart enough to immediately guess that sitting snugly in the folds of aluminum were tabs of acid.
Kurt's eyes zeroed in on the foil as Krist peeled it apart, revealing neat little paper squares. Lindy stared too, but she was unsure of what to think. She'd never done anything other than smoke weed before.
"I'll take one," Kurt requested. It happened in the blink of an eye -- Kurt had taken the foil from Krist, held it to his mouth to touch his tongue to one of the tabs, and handed it back to him. There was now an empty space on the foil. Kurt smiled sardonically.
"Lindy?" Krist offered, holding out the tabs like a tray of appetizers. She hesitated, but Trae was quick to step in.
"Eh, I don't know about that," Trae said holding up his hand. Lindy looked at him, aghast.
"Trae! You said you would never try to be my father!" she protested.
"That's some intense stuff, Linds," Trae warned. "You don't just mess around with it."
"Come on, Trae," piped in Kurt, who was lighting a cigarette. "Let her experience it for herself."
Lindy eyed the waiting tab again, feeling a pinch of anxiety. But there was adrenaline in her veins too, pumping fast and pressing her to take the chance before it was too late.
"Can you at least be careful?" Trae finally pleaded. Lindy nodded at him, and shakily accepted the foiled sheet, following Kurt's example and pressing it to her tongue.
"Let it sit," Kurt advised her. "It's gotta' dissolve there. Don't swallow it."
Lindy nodded, her lips mashed tightly shut. Everyone around her giggled at her expression except Trae, who looked worried as he took a swig of drink from his cup.
"Watch her Kurt," he mumbled in Kurt's ear, grabbing Allie's hand and leading her out of the crowd. Kurt put his arm around Lindy's waist, holding her closely to him.
"I've got you," he whispered. Lindy nodded her head in agreement, but didn't speak. She was still allowing the tiny little paper to melt away on her tongue, waiting for it to bleed into her system and take her far away.
_________
Everything was breathing. Or at least, that's how it seemed. The walls, furniture, and even picture frames appeared to be heaving deeply, rippling like they were taking slow and steady breaths. And the colors -- they were so bright. Everything was brighter.
Lindy was on the couch, everyone swaying around her as midnight neared closer. She was three hours in to her trip and could not tell how it was going. She felt locked in place, held down by an invisible force that had grabbed her tongue and pinned it to the roof of her mouth. She felt nauseous too; all the swirling was making her feel a little sick. She wondered briefly how Kurt managed the feeling when he was already nauseous as it was.
"Are you okay?" Kurt asked her, touching her hands. They were cold, colder than snow. Nonetheless, Lindy mimicked the jerky little nod she'd given earlier.
"I'm good," she replied.
"It's fun, right?" Kurt smiled encouragingly. Lindy smiled back, but she wasn't certain if 'fun' was the accurate word to describe the experience. She was getting tired of all the movement around her, making her feel like she was stuck in a fish bowl.
"Two minutes until midnight, everyone!" Shelli yelled from the top of the chair that she stood on. She sounded so far away, like she was miles down a dark tunnel. The noise of her voice faded away slowly, like strange, warbled music.
"Maybe we should stand," Lindy suggested faintly. Kurt's look of delight slipped away when he noticed how chalky white his girlfriend's face was.
"Lindy, seriously, are you okay?" he asked again.
"Count down with me," she said, ignoring him. The television displayed the sight of Times Square in New York City, the New Years Eve ball inching closer towards its drop. A giant clock indicated that they had 59 seconds until midnight.
"Lindy, you look like you're about to pass the fuck out," Kurt commented. He looked around for Trae, hoping he wouldn't see what kind of state Lindy was in.
"I'm fine!" Lindy cried, her voice dreamy and distant. She tried to focus on the television screen, but it kept moving in and out. The lights were so bright that she felt like she was really there, right in the middle of Time's Square with the overflowing crowd.
"Ten . . . nine . . . eight . . ." she began to chant along with the rest of the world. Kurt was saying nothing. His face was creased with angst as he was watched Lindy, his fear only intensified ten times worse by his own trip.
"Three . . . two . . . one! Happy New Year!" Lindy shouted, but her cry was cluttered and hard to understand, hindered by her hazy state of mind. She kissed Kurt, but he pushed her back, doing his best to study her eyes. The room was pulsing faster now, and things were starting to unstick from the walls . . .
"Kurty, can we lay down?" Lindy asked whimsically, before her entire body arced forward and she vomited on Kurt's sneakers.
No one seemed to notice; everyone was busy kissing and screaming and toasting, and someone throwing up in the midst of the mayhem fit in serenely with whole setting. Kurt on the other hand was perturbed as he caught Lindy falling forward and tried his best to hold her up in his thin arms.
"Let's go upstairs babe, come on," he urged her gently. Her eyes were wandering, unable to focus on him. She was keeping watch, making sure the dancing images around her did not get too close. Kurt managed to shoulder Lindy's bodyweight, leading her through the living room and up the narrow staircase towards his bedroom.
"Lay down Linds, just like you wanted," he told her, carefully helping Lindy onto the bed. His own trip was consuming him. He normally enjoyed such moments of lucidness, but watching Lindy fall apart had made everything so much scarier than usual. He felt like the sky was falling on him. It was as if she were dying and he was panicked, beginning to blame himself.
He laid down beside her, reaching out to play with her long strands of hair. She was staring straight up at the ceiling, unable to close her eyes. The darkness only made it worse.
Kurt was nearly as lost as she was, and felt too drowsy to stop her when he felt the bed move as she got up. Lindy, reaching the peak of her trip, wobbled towards the stairs. She wanted to find Trae, she wanted to tell him that she loved him and she missed him and she thought he should move to Seattle. It felt like the right moment. She had to tell him then, or he might go away. He might disappear.
Standing at the top of the staircase, she tried to focus her eyes on the first step, but it was playing tricks on her, sliding left and right and making it hard to guess where to place her foot. She stepped out, but feeling a rush of fear and doubt, stumbled.
"Ow!" Lindy cried out, slipping down several steps and only stopping herself when she caught the stair railing. Her ankle had twisted once she'd sat on it, and it was now throbbing painfully. Terror exploded in her like a bomb being set off.
"KURT!" she screamed, holding her ankle in agony. The sound of her helpless cry shocked Kurt back into reality and he scrambled out of bed. Trying to stabilize his thoughts, his eyes widened in horror when he saw Lindy sitting crumpled on the staircase.
"Lindy, shit!" he cursed, rushing towards her. Trae, who had heard Lindy's scream, rounded the corner at the bottom of the staircase and saw the scene playing out in front of him. Kurt, so far gone in his trip that he might as well have been in outer-space, was tending to his sobbing sister who sat in a heap in the middle of the stairs clutching her clearly injured ankle.
Kurt looked up. "Trae, I didn't -- she just accidentally . . ."
Trae said nothing. His glowering glare of fury said it all.