'Lunch' that day was extremely awkward. I say 'lunch' like that because it constituted Zac and I sitting next to each other on a log, with Mr Beck sitting across from us, and very little conversation occurring. It was extremely awkward. Every now and then Mr Beck would interject with generalised chitchat like 'Do you have any pets?' or 'What's your favourite subject at school?' I appreciated the effort but making casual conversation with near strangers was my personal idea of hell and I was extremely grateful when Mr Beck finally stood up and brushed crumbs off of his clothes. Zac audible sighed in relief next to me and I had to suppress a giggle.
"Right! Let's get back to work." Mr Beck wandered back into the Circle.
"I'm going to explain some more Magiphysiology to you," Mr Beck explained, "But this is more to do with what you'll be studying at Merlinian Prep."
"I'm guessing we won't be studying math, huh?" I joked.
"Not quite," he grinned, "Merlinian Prep, in general, teaches students the eight basic schools of magic." Mr Beck waved his hand through the air and strange black smoke began to flow from his hand and began to form eight different symbols contained within circles, in mid-air.
"Abjuration; protection magic," he said, as one of the symbols flashed brightly; it was a circle with a line vertically down the middle, dividing it into two semi-circle, with three horizontal lines contained in within one semi-circle.
"Evocation; energy manipulation magic." I recognised the symbol which then flashed as the circle with three lines in a funny W shape, the one I had noticed on the back of Mr Becks' right hand.
"Transmutation; magic which manipulates physical properties." This symbol was a circle, with a small square inside, and inside of that square was another smaller circle.
"Enchantment' magic use to infer an effect on a person or an object." The circle for enchantment magic looked a little like the head of a cuboidal snake with a forked tongue sticking out.
"Divination; the art of seeing the unseen and the unknown." This symbol looked like an eye with two semi-circles either side of it.
"Illusion; magic which alters perception." The circle had a straight vertical line through the middle with a squiggled line either side of the straight one.
"Conjuration; summoning magic." The flashing symbol looked almost like a rounded table contained in a circle.
"Necromancy; manipulation of life and death." This was simply a circle with a cross through the centre of it.
"There are other schools of magic, but these are either branches of the eight, fringe practises which not many have the proclivity for, or practical magics; things such as Apothecary – which is the study of potion making and the magical beasts the ingredients come from – or Rune and Circle magic, which require meticulous study of ancient symbology to use effectively."
"Why do you have the symbol for Evocation on your hand?" I asked. purpose of the weird tattoo.
"Ah, well spotted," he said, glancing down at his hand, "Yes, this is the symbol for Evocation. Do you remember I told you my job at Merlinian Prep was Master of Evocation?"
"Yeah? Does that symbol mean you teach Evocation at the school?"
"Not specifically," he explained, "It means that my Focus is Evocation magic."
"So, what, do you just really love Evocation magic?" Zac asked.
"Well yes, but I didn't mean focus as in 'I like to study it'. I meant focus as in a sorcerers Focus."
"Every sorcerer can perform basic magic from all eight schools, but every sorcerer also has what we call a Focus. A Focus is a specific area of magic in which that sorcerer is particularly skilled, a school of magic which they are built to master. My Focus is Evocation."
"That pretty cool." I admitted, "So what school is my Focus?"
"Well that's the tricky part." His eyes seemed to glitter as he spoke, "Every sorcerer has at least one Focus, some sorcerers are born with or can develop a second and even a third Focus. Typically, when a sorcerer Awakens and performs magic for the first time, that magic tends to be related to that sorcerers Foci. However-,"
"Oh, I get it!" Zac cut him off, standing up and running towards the Circle, "Charlie's been casting magic from loads of different schools, hasn't he?"
"Exactly. You're quick on the draw Zac." Zac looked intensely smug, folding his arms and pulling himself up to his full height with a smirk on his face. God, he was going to be insufferable after this, I just knew it.
I thought back to all of the different spells I had performed; making that shield, throwing a fireball, making roses out of nothing, and moving water.
"I've performed Abjuration, Evocation, Conjuration and Transmutation spells so far." I said, only now understanding that this was abnormal.
"Precisely. The fact that you seem to have four different Foci, coupled with you unusually powerful Awakening was why we kept our distance at first."
"So, which one is actually my Focus then, or are they all my Foci?" I asked nervously. I was starting to feel like a bit of a magical outcast again. What if I didn't even have a Focus? I seemed to be braking every other rule of magic that existed, why not this one?
"There's an easy way to find out. And once we've determined your Focus, there's a tool we can use to help you channel your magic."
"Great! How do we do it?!" I asked, anxious to figure out what I could actually do.
"Give me your hand,' he said as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out a piece of black chalk and took my wrist, facing my palm upwards. He then began to draw onto my palm with the chalk, and I was surprised that it actually made a mark on my sweaty palms. My hand felt uncomfortable warm wherever the chalk drew on my skin and I winced in pain.
"Sorry, almost done," he murmured, focused on what he was drawing.
When he had finished, I looked down and saw that he had drawn a black circle on my palm with the Greek letter Sigma contained within.
"What's this for?" I asked, waving my burning hand a little to cool it down.
"This is a Rune spell; if you channel a little of your magic into the rune, it will tell you what your Focus is."
I looked back down at my hand and closed my eyes, once again picturing the flow of magic out of my body. 'Come on, please let this work!' I thought to myself. I concentrated and tried to force the magic out of my body. Suddenly, my hand burned intensely, and my eyes shot open. The rune on my hand was glowing bright white and my hand felt like it was melting from the intense heat. I dropped to my knees, holding the wrist of my glowing right hand with my other hand, trying not to scream out loud or cry, determined not to show my weakness.
Thankfully, a second or two after it started, the light faded, and the burning stopped. I looked down at my palm, expecting to see scorched, roasted flesh. I was stunned to see there was nothing there, no scarring, no damage and no rune. I flipped my hand around, desperate to find out where the ruin had disappeared to, and was stunned by what I saw; floating above the back of my hand was an orb made of what looked to be the same flowing blue material as the Circle's shield, but inside the orb was a small, floating flame that lit the orb up like a strange lantern.
"What the hell is this thing?!" I yelled, trying to shake the orb off; it simple stayed in position a few inches above my hand regardless of where I happened to be waving it.
'Don't worry Charlie," Mr Beck said, holding his arms out to calm me down, "It's just a physical manifestation of your Focus, it'll fade in a second." Even as he said that the orb was beginning to fade into nothing.
I calmed down a little once the orb fully disappeared, but I was left feeling confused; what the hell did a lantern orb have to do with my Focus? I glanced up at Mr Beck, expecting an answer, but he was just looking at my hand, an eyebrow raised.
"What?" I asked, feeling a little frustrated at his lack of a response.
"Charlie, look at the back of your hand," Zac said, looking mystified. I glanced down at the back of my hand and saw that the previously unblemished skin had a black circle with a symbol contained within. The symbol looked like the vertical line with three horizontal lines of Abjuration, but the normally empty left semi-circle now had a diagonal line running through it.
"What the hell does this mean?" I asked, turning my hand to show Zac and Mr Beck properly.
"I think it means your Focus is Abjuration and Evocation; in other words, you're an Abjucator."
"Didn't you say it was unusual for people to have more than one Focus?" Zac asked.
"It's abnormal but not unheard of. And quite frankly I'm not surprised where you're concerned Charlie; your Gift is a bit of an enigma."
I looked back at the weird symbol on my hand, feeling less than satisfied with the result. At least I had Foci, I just wished it was only a single Focus, because having two just made me feel even stranger than I already felt I was.
"Can you get this thing off of my hand now?" I sighed.
"Oh...um...about that.," Mr Beck looked away, blushing slightly, "Once the Focus Mark is applied it can't be...um...removed."
"WHAT?!" I screeched. I wiped at the back of my hand as if I could just scrub the mark off like it was ink, but of course it had no effect. Great! Freakin' fantastic! Now I had a literal brand that said, 'Look at this guy, he's weirdo!'.
"If it helps any, all of the students at Merlinian Prep have a Focus Mark..." Mr Beck explained.
"It doesn't help at all! I don't want to show everyone my freak flag the second I walk in the door!"
"You're not going to be the only person at the school with more than one Focus, Charlie. There's another student who has two Foci."
"Perfect. Me and him can form a magical leper colony together," I muttered.
"Perhaps we should call it a day," Mr Beck suggested, sensing I was in no mood to continue with his lesson.
"Yeah, I'm tired." I agreed. I didn't explain that what I was really tired of was being constantly fucked over by this Gift I never wanted in the first place; it seemed like every time I thought I was making progress, something else popped up that set me a mile back.
I grabbed my backpack off the forest floor and muttered a quick goodbye to Mr Beck before storming out of the clearing. I heard the sound of Zac running after me through the trees and bushes.
"Charlie...are you okay?" he asked tentatively.
"Peachy. Who wouldn't be okay with being the late blooming, magic spewing, double Focus loser at a new school? I'm sure I won't be laughed out of the door immediately after I step foot in the place."
"You never know, they might appreciate the fact that you're so powerful?" he reasoned.
"I appreciate the optimism Zac," I muttered, "But you know what teenagers are like. Different is bad, it doesn't matter if its public school or magic school."
"Well you know how to fix that, right?"
"How?"
"Get control of this magic by the end of the summer and then if they mess with you, magic their asses."
"I don't think I will be able to by the end of the summer."
"I think you will. You made a little bit of progress in just a few hours. If you keep practising, then you'll be in full control in no time."
"I know...I know, I have to. I'm just...I'm tired of this. I'm trying to take control of my life, but it feels like that control keeps getting ripped away from me. It's exhausting."
"I know Charlie." He sighed. We walked in silence for a few seconds before he spoke again, "I wish I could take all this pain away from you, you know? It really hurts me to see you in pain, and it's so frustrating that I can't do anything about it."
I met his eyes, and I could see the pain he felt for me...and it genuinely floored me. That same feeling of guilt I felt when talking to Harvey hit me; once again I'd been so wrapped up in my own shit, I hadn't even considered how other people might be in pain too. I stopped walking and Zac stopped too.
"I don't want you hurting because of me, Zac."
He smiled sadly, "It's not a choice Charlie. I care about you, so when you hurt, I hurt."
"Zac...I-I'm sorry."
"Don't be Charlie," he said, "You can't help the hand you've been dealt in life. You just have to try to rise above it. And it might mean rough times for us both, but I'm gonna be helping you through as best I can, because I know you'd do the same for me."
"Zac...you're gonna make me cry twice in one day..." I mumbled, trying to hold back the tears.
"Crying is fine," he said, throwing his arm around my shoulder, "You don't have to pretend to be so manly, I know you're a big softy." I jabbed him in the ribs playfully and he squirmed away.
We walked a little further on, silent but not uncomfortably so. I was thinking about what he said, about the guilt I was feeling, and it sorta given me the kick up the ass I needed; I wasn't just doing this for me, I was doing it for Zac, and my family. And I didn't mean just learning magic, I meant learning how to make my life better, how do take away their pain as well as my own. I really wanted to be better. I wanted to be happy. I wanted Zac and my parents to not worry about me, not to hurt because of me.
"You know what, screw this stupid magic crap. I'm done caring about it." Zac gave me a funny look. "I mean it Zac. I've been an outcast all my life so what's another year of it? I'll just keep my head down, learn whatever I can, and hopefully by the end I won't have to worry about injuring people."
Zac grinned, "You know, I think that's how you take control of your life Charlie. One small step at a time. You might get setbacks, you might get knocked down, but if you can pick yourself up and force your life to change one small step at a time then you can keep going."
"As long as I have you guys to fight for, I can keep picking myself up."
"I'm not going anywhere dude."
We smiled and did our goofy handshake together as we walked out of the woods.
"You know, I'm not going anywhere," Zac said as we walked along a dirt path back to my place, "But you might be six feet under by tomorrow morning."
"What do you mean?" I frowned, not following his train of thought.
"Dude, your mom's gonna kill you when she sees you have a tattoo." He nodded towards the Focus Mark now emblazoned on my hand. I stared at it in horror.
I was toast.