The disappointment on Shauna's face was clear as day as she returned her fainted Fennekin back into the PokéBall. What I wasn't expecting was for her disappointment to wash away so quickly. The frown from before turned into a bright smile as she jogged her way toward me. She stopped and pulled something out from her bag. The purple bottle with a nozzle led me to believe it was a potion and she intended on using it to heal my Pokémon.
Froakie looked up at me with that bored gaze of his, earning him a shrug as a response from me. I had no idea why Shauna was willing to do such a nice thing for me even after I completely beat her in the battle. Normally, trainers were usually bitter and unhappy losing their first Pokémon battle.
"That was a great battle, Emilia," she complimented, holding out the potion in her hand. "Here, let me heal your Pokémon!"
I couldn't help but scoff a little, but allowed her to do it anyway. She probably wanted a favor from me later on because no one was this nice, especially after losing a battle, and then not expect anything in return. Besides, it's not like Froakie took any real damage during the fight. After spraying any small cuts on Froakie's body, Shauna looked up at me with that beaming bright smile.
"Thanks for being the first person to battle me as a Pokémon Trainer!" She continued to smile, which earned her a raised eyebrow from me.
"Even though you lost?" I questioned, still finding it hard to believe that a newbie Pokémon Trainer like her was being accepting of her defeat.
"Yep! It taught me that I'm gonna have to train hard if I ever want to be stronger." Shauna turned her heels toward the gates of Aquacorde Town, but looked over her shoulder at me, still smiling.
"See ya' later!"
Before I got the chance to question her logic, she dashed off back to the town. I shook out of my disbelief and sighed. This girl, my new neighbor and fellow pupil, was a strange one. Her brother was no exception to my thoughts. I also had this feeling that I wasn't going to get rid of them so easily.
I looked at my wristwatch and let out a groan when I saw I had used up almost two hours of my time. How was that even possible? Mom probably thought I got lost and was probably freaking out even though I hadn't given her a proper time of when I'd get back to the house. I should get going before chaos broke out.
Froakie called out to me and the moment I looked down at him, he jumped up. Out of instinct, I quickly caught him as he landed safely in my arms. I was about to question what he did, but he already took it upon himself to snuggle against my chest and make himself comfortable. A satisfied croak left his mouth, which made me grin a little.
"You're a lazy one, aren't you?" I asked in an ironic manner, though he answered with another croak.
I shook my head and walked on the path to the house. My journey to the house was shorter than the first time, which I was grateful for. When opened the door and entered, a small blur of red flew toward me and rammed itself straight to my face. A tiny growl left my lips, causing Froakie to hop off my arms and onto the floor. I grabbed the red blur and glared at him.
"Quit messing with me before I feed you to a Seviper!" I scolded, but it came out more of a threat. However, Fletchling simply chirped and went unfazed by my threat.
That little shit.
"Oh, Emi! You made it back!"
My anger subsided and I looked ahead, finding my mom coming out of the living room and walking toward me. I loosened my grip on Fletchling and he flew away, flapping his tiny red wings, and flew toward my mom. Fletchling landed on her shoulder.
"I see you got your starter Pokémon." She knelt down to get a good look at Froakie, giving his head a good pat that made him put in bliss. "A Water-type too. Adam would've been so jealous."
Hearing that name caused me to lower my gaze. I haven't heard that name after the incident with my dad.
"Yeah, he would've..." I spoke in an unusually quiet voice.
She let out a reminiscent laugh, causing my lips to twitch upwards, but I fought back the urge to smile. I couldn't make myself smile right now, especially since my brother wasn't here to enjoy the moment. It would be selfish of me.
My thoughts were interrupted when Mom dropped her hand from Froakie's head and stood up. The nostalgia in her face subsided as she presented me her usual grin.
"I take it you met with Professor Sycamore's other pupil?" She rose an eyebrow at me. The facts that she knew I would be getting a starter Pokémon startled me.
"I can't believe you did that," I spoke in an annoyed voice. There was nothing I hated more than being lied to. "I was supposed to be an intern. Not a goddamn Pokémon Trainer!"
"Emi..." Hurt flashed in her eyes, which made me feel guilty for snapping at her the way I did.
"I'm sorry, Mom," I apologized. "It's just... a little warning would've been nice." A sigh left my lips before I reached into my messenger bag and fished out the letter. "This is for you."
Curiously, Mom took the envelope from my hand and opened it. She read the information in the letter. Something felt strange when her green eyes suddenly became interested with each word she read. Froakie decided to explore the house, so he hopped away with Fletchling flying above him. Watching him startle himself after accidentally turning on the television after stepping on the remote control was enough to distract me. He's a little dork.
My distraction didn't last long when an excited shriek left Mom's lips. I quickly snapped my attention to the woman as she looked at me with the biggest smile I haven't seen in so long.
"This is wonderful, Emi!" She clapped her hands enthusiastically. "Looks like Professor Sycamore is having you go off on a journey of your own."
My eyes widened at the announcement, half of the incredulous feeling making me sick to my stomach while the other filled me with adrenaline. The feeling I have right now was conflicting; I didn't know whether to be excited or afraid. Mom was happy for me, but I couldn't bring myself to even feign the excitement.
Why did I have to leave home right away? I haven't even properly settled down in a new region that I was not familiar with. Aside from it being such a huge responsibility, I wasn't ready to leave Mom behind. I still bore wounds from the events I suffered back in Sinnoh with my dad. I needed her. Without her comfort, I might just lose my sanity.
"That's insane!" I exclaimed in sheer shock. "We've only been here for a week and I already have to leave?!"
"I know!" Mom grabbed onto both of my hands and gazed straight into my green eyes that resembled her own. "You're already having exciting things going on. Oh Emi, I'm so happy for you!"
I didn't have the chance to tell her my feelings toward all this. She let my hands go and ran up the stairs, yelling that she had something to help me on my journey. Froakie hopped back to me, a concerned look on his face. I released a shaky breath and picked him up. He relaxed into my arms, but he was the comfort I needed to stop my heart from racing. I needed to break it to her; I wasn't ready for any of this.
Mom descended from the stairs holding something behind her back, the grin never leaving her lips as she made her way toward me. All I could think about was the fact that she was letting me do this. Why was she okay with it? It was the complete opposite when we were still in Sinnoh; she was strict about me going out aside from going to Professor Rowan's laboratory and running errands for her. Why was it different here in Kalos? Was it because we weren't bound by the past when we're miles away from there?
I pondered upon many questions. The thoughts running through my mind made me zone out, but I was brought back into reality when Mom snapped her fingers in front of my face. That's when she revealed the surprise she had for me. I shifted Froakie a little bit and took the device out of her hands, inspecting it closely.
"A Town Map?" I asked in a puzzled manner.
"That's right," she confirmed. "I figured since we haven't explored this new region, you might find it useful for traveling."
I frowned a little before putting the device down onto the table.
"Mom... I can't do this," I confessed, putting Froakie down. He didn't leave my side. "I'm not ready to leave. I still haven't recovered from the things that happened with dad and--"
"Emi, what are you--"
"It's always grey, Mom." My gaze dropped to the floor, but I caught glimpse at the incredulous look she had after I said what I said. "I keep trying to see the world in color again, but it's hard. It's hard waking up every day wishing for these grey clouds over my head to disappear. It's been four years... but the vibrant colors I use to see are slowly turning all grey."
I felt tears beginning to line my eyes. My emotions were becoming overwhelming for me to bear, which was what really scared me. I needed someone to help me; I didn't trust myself to be alone and away from home. It's not like I wanted to be this fragile, but sometimes my demons wouldn't let me be strong.
Warmth suddenly embraced me, as well as arms tightening around me. My eyes widened from the sudden hug, but the familiar warmth from Mom was enough to pull me away from my dark thoughts.
"You're hurting, Emilia." It was the first time I heard her call me by my real name. "It pains me to see you suffer so much. You're all I have left after your father..." She pulled away enough for use to make eye contact. "It's okay for you to feel scared of leaving home, but this is a wonderful opportunity for you to heal. Having me around might only make things worse. What you need is to take time for yourself and find your peace."
"It's not easy..." I mumbled quietly. She smiled sadly.
"It never is," she admitted. "But I know you. You're a tough girl. I swear on my life that this journey will give you closure toward your old life. You'll be reborn into a new person, one that will cast those clouds away."
Mom's words were able to put me at ease. Going on a journey was never on my mind back in Sinnoh. Lucas and Reese always talked about it, but I never gave my opinion about it even before the stuff that happened with Dad. People go on journeys for different reasons, whether it's to compete in the Pokémon League, become Champion, aim for Top Coordinator, or just to fulfill a purpose in their life. There are goals people wish to fulfill, but what was mine?
Was I supposed to be okay with what Dad did to us? Was I supposed to cast away the clouds over my head? Was I supposed to make my world bright with vivid colors?
I didn't know, but maybe that was why Mom wanted me to go on this journey. I finally understood why she kept it from me; I would've been too stubborn to accept it when the wounds were still fresh. Mom really did know me well.
"Okay." I nodded, wiping my eyes from the tears that were ready to fall. "I'll do it. Just... give me some time to pack."
---
Going through my unpacked boxes was a nightmare, but thankfully it was all over. I made sure to pick out the essentials such as toiletries and some clothes. After I gathered it all, I dumped them all onto my bed and began to pack. It was all going smoothly until I stumbled upon a small journal.
Curiosity ran through my veins as I picked it up and looked through it. I was brought back to nostalgic days when I saw that it was a hardcover sketchbook with all my old drawings. I haven't even touched any of my art supplies in a long time. As I flipped through pages, something slipped out and landed on the bed. I placed the sketchbook down and picked up the item that left, only to grimace when I saw what it was.
It was a family photo taken just a few months after my little brother was born. Those were simpler times before Dad ruined everything. What stung the most was that this photo captured the genuine happiness and love we had. People would think I was lying if I said this family fell apart. This photo meant a lot to me, for it reminded me of when everyone was happy.
I couldn't leave it behind; I needed something to remind me why I was going on this journey in the first place. Not only that, but maybe I should take the sketchbook with me to ease back into my hobby. If anything, I could find comfort in expressing my emotions since Mom won't be there to do it.
Once I finished packing everything into my larger messenger bag, I left my room and walked down the stairs. Mom's eyes lit up when she saw me. Fletchling flew toward me and landed on me head. I decided to not shoo him away. As much as he annoyed me, it'll be the last time I'll see the little sucker. Mom wrapped an arm around my shoulder and guided me through the front door, Froakie following closely behind.
Neither of us spoke until we made it to the exit of Vaniville Town. The silence wasn't deafening; it was comfortable. A small breeze caused my long locks of hair to sway. I tucked a strand behind my ear.
This was it. I will start my journey through the Kalos region. It was really happening.
"I'm going to miss you lots, Mom," I said, looking at her sadly. "This is a big leap toward my road to recovery, but I trust you when you say it'll bring me closure."
"Of course." She smiled. "I'm proud of you for doing this. Oh! There's one more thing I want to give you."
I gave her a weird look as she handed me another device. The strange device looked like the one the ginger boy from earlier had hanging around his neck. It was much smaller than a PokéDex, but it still fit in the palm of my hand. What was this thing?
"It's a Holo Caster," Mom informed me. "Use it to keep in touch with me."
"Thank you." I put it away in an empty compartment of my messenger bag. "This means a lot to me."
"Remember that all Pokémon Centers have video phones, so don't be afraid to call me if you ever need to talk." She placed a hand on my shoulder. "I know you'll do just fine on this journey. I'll be waiting for your return, okay?"
"Yeah..." I smiled. "This isn't goodbye, so I guess... See you later."
"See you later." She pulled me into a hug. "I love you, Emilia. Don't you ever forget it."
"I love you too."
I pulled away from the embrace and turned to face the exit leading toward the route that led to Aquacorde Town. A sigh left my lips before I glanced down at Froakie. He seemed just about ready to leave as I was. Having a Pokémon like him around should make this journey go smoothly.
To think that I disliked the move here because of how sudden it was. Even now, I still didn't consider this place home. However, there were still things I needed to fix for myself before I could quickly judge this place. The environment wasn't at fault; it was me with my problems taking it out on this new place.
Without hesitation, I walked through the exit with Froakie following next to me. A couple of steps later, the Bubble Frog Pokémon jumped high enough to reach my arms. I was able to catch him before he fell to the ground. I couldn't help but smile at my starter as he got himself comfortable. I had goals to achieve, and I'd do anything to reach them.
This journey was just the beginning.