Action packed chapter woo!
Chapter 10:
It’s been about a week since I talked to Harry, well; the rest of the boys last. Lo has been hanging out with Zayn like there is no tomorrow and they seem to be really hitting it off well. Sam and Niall turned to be just friends after that night because Niall apparently didn’t like her drunk; but don’t jump to conclusions because I’m pretty sure he’s going to fall with her again.
I on the other hand did not change other than the fact that me and Harry barely talk now and I have no idea why but we don’t. It’s quite strange actually because after the morning after the day I got drunk, was the last day we talked and at this point I’m starting to contradict my confusions and think I did something wrong that night, something Harry didn’t mention.
In two weeks I’m flying back out to the states and I much rather stay here since I desperately because I have absolutely no friends out in the city. It’s utterly ridiculous I shall say. I’m personally too tired to do anything the next three weeks; and I have to do this fifty page essay before my English class; and since I put it off until now I’m practically screwed.
I lifted myself from the bed and walked out to the kitchen to see Zayn and Lo cuddled up on the couch. I flashed a half smile at them and walked to the fridge. Grabbing the milk, I went through the cabinets to grab a glass and poured the ice cold milk into the clear class. Milk was so refreshing to me, and I absolutely loved it. Before I knew it; the whole glass was gone so I placed the cup in the sink and walked back to the guest room.
Pulling out my laptop, I was sort of bored and wanted to pull of the essay a little longer. I decided to go on my twitter even though I never actually use it. I noticed there were pictures all over my mentions of Harry with another girl; and it kind of broke my heart.
Harry and I have a past now and I can finally say that without cringing like before. I say it as a past because I know I will probably never talk to him again. He’s just; he’s just not that into me and you know what; I’m not going to wait for him.
Closing my laptop shut, I lie on my back on the firm bed and look up at the ceiling fan that’s rotating clockwise. I’m not myself anymore.
Zayn’s Point of View
“She doesn’t say hi anymore, odd isn’t it?” I questioned Lo and she shrugged it off.
“I think it’s because she’s going back to the states in a few,” she tells me making me purse my lips. What is she talking about going back to the states? Is that why her and Harry don’t even acknowledge each other’s existence.
“What do you mean?” I asked her, twirling a piece of her brown, curly lock on my finger.
“Her school? It starts soon, she never mentioned it to you?” she responded to me making my confused. I didn’t know how to respond so I just leaned her head against my left shoulder as I stroked her hair gently, brushing it with my fingers.
Taking my other hand, I texted Harry asking him if he knew about Essie and her school.
Harry’s Point of View
I received a text message from Zayn asking about Essie, even though I don’t know what she’s doing. We barely talk and I’m broken hearted because it’s like I never had her in my life, ever. We used to basically be around each other every day or every other day. It was quite odd not to see her beautiful, flawless face.
I didn’t respond to Zayn because I really didn’t feel like talking to anyone at this point, being so upset and all; not my best aspect to hide it but it’s going to have to do.
Essie’s Point of View
“Essie?” Sam peaks her head in the door way where I just turn my head to the right to see her in sweats and her brown hair pulled back.
“Hm?” I responded.
“Are you hungry?” she asked me, and I nodded my head no. I have such a bad appetite recently as well; maybe from stress or me being a little bit on the wrong side. Honestly, I don’t want to eat.
I groan of exhaustion and turn to my side facing the opposite of the doorway. The air conditioning was on extra high today since it was quite warm, so I bundled up in a blanket and pulled out my cell phone and dialed my mother’s phone number.
“Mom?” I said whimpering, and weakly.
“What’s wrong honey?” she asked me. I sniffed back a tear.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I tell her making her moan.
“Do what?”
“Love,” I tell her again; having Harry caught onto the back on my mind.
“You’re in love?” she asked me.
“No, just relationships in general; I mean I can be in love I don’t know,”
“Well, I have to bring your dad to dialysis, call you later boo,” she said her goodbyes and I cuddled back up in my blanket.
All I could think about was Harry, but not in the odd ‘I’m in love’ way; just the thought of him makes me smile because he always brightened my mood. I reached down to my neck and stroked with my fingers gently the necklace he gave to me on my birthday. Some days; I wonder if he still wears the matching one.
From all the interviews he’s been on since he gave me it; he doesn’t wear it but I think it’s because he doesn’t want them to question it; which I personally don’t blame them. I turned myself so I was laying flat on my belly and I had my face flat on the pillow; I knew I wasn’t going to move after this.
“Essie, Essie, ESSIE,” Lo called out from over the bed, yelling at me. I rubbed my tired eyes and flipped over to my back so I was facing Lo.
“What?” I moaned out with a tired, groggy voice. I propped myself on my elbows and ran my right hand through my blonde hair.
“It’s time to eat, you haven’t ate in days,” She tells me while handing me a bowl of oatmeal. I sighed and sat up and took the bowl from her hands.
“Thanks,” I said coldly as she left the room. I took a spoonful of the disgusting oatmeal and shoved it in my mouth while gagging. Once I finished the bowl I went over to the floor length mirror and pulled my shirt up. I was losing too much weight. My hip bones poked out completely and my ribs were practically bare with no fat or muscle. My legs were getting tiny and I couldn’t stand the way I looked.
I walked out of the room and into the bathroom to take a shower. Stripping completely naked; I stepped inside the shower to turn on the hot water, lathering myself in water and soap until I was clean. I then stepped out and wrapped myself in a robe and wrapped my hair in a towel.
“Hey, Sam,” I called out, walking to the end of the hall and into the main room which contained the living room and the kitchen.
“Yeah?” she asked while stepping out of the kitchen and to where I was.
“I’m bored,” I tell her smoothly, making her bite her bottom lip.
“Well, do you want to go out or something? You haven’t done anything all week,” she tells me.
“I don’t really know,” I say.
“We can just go out to a bar and just talk while having drinks. No like, dancing or what not,” she says.
“That sounds good to me,” I tell her. To be completely honest, I really didn’t want to go out drinking tonight but I needed to get out of the house for a while because I’m starting to get sick of this place. I want to just be happy but in this sudden realization I can’t. Crawling back in bed, I took out my iPhone from the nightstand and looked at my messages.
“Four messages?” I mumble to myself. I looked at the messages and they were all from Harry.
Harry =): Hey Essie.
Harry =): Essie?
Harry =): Essie I’m sorry for ignoring you.
Harry =): Essie I’m so sorry and I don’t think you understand. Look, you can ignore me but I need to get something off my chest. I love you more than anything in this world. So what it’s been you know, almost two months but my feelings won’t change.
Harry just told me he loved me, and believe it or not; I think I might love him too. I took a deep breath and pressed the green button on the screen to call his phone.
“Essie!” Harry answered the phone which sounded in relief.
“Hey,” I tell him; sounding a bit weak.
“Hey, how are you? I haven’t heard your voice in basically forever,”
“I’m fine, could be better; but what you said,” I tried to finish before he interrupted me.
“Yeah, it’s true,”
“So; you really do love me?” I asked him making me bite my lip.
“A lot,”
“But it’s only been two months.” I try and talk him out of it. I’m leaving soon and having he fall in love with me and then I’m going to leave? I couldn’t just let him do that to himself.
“I understand, but basically you’re everything I ever wanted in a girl,” he tells me making a tear fall from my cheek from being so happy. I never realized until now how desperate I was for love. At this point; I wanted to be in a real relationship but I can’t because of school. Thoughts were running through my mind endlessly and I was scared to fall in love with Harry; but I tried to force myself.
“Harry-“I tried to choke out before a weak sniffle fell out. “I can’t,” I tell him.
“What do you mean you can’t?” he asked me making me wipe a tear from my cheek.
“I can’t be with you,”
“Why?”
“I’m leaving soon for school,” I tell him. Two more weeks is only so close.
“What? When?” he sounded worried.
“Two weeks,” I choked out.
“Essie-“
“Harry, I have to go; I’ll talk to you later okay?” By that note, I hung up the phone and drowned my face in the cotton pillow and started to scream; but the pillow muted it.
I was broken; and I knew if I dated Harry at anytime it wouldn’t work because of my school and his tours it would just be a disaster.
I knew it’s only been such a short period of time to fall in love with someone; but it was like I was with him at all times. We would talk every morning, every night; hang out throughout the day; we would goof around and laugh at the stupidest things. We were basically one person and I didn’t know how to cope with this.
I started to cry, harder than I ever did. With my head still in the pillow, I cried harder than ever; leaving me gasping for air.
“ESSIE?” Sam hollered through the apartment and ran into the guest room. I looked up from the pillow with my puffy eyes; looking at Sam. “ESSIE? What’s the matter?” she yelled with a worry feel, and walked over to the bed and wrapped her arms around me; leaning my head against her shirt.
“Being in love sucks,” I choked out and whimpered as talking. Sam rubbed circles into my back with her palm trying to calm me.
“It’s going to be okay,” she tried to comfort me, making me cry more. It wasn’t going to be okay and I knew that since day one I met Harry.
The first day I met him it was like I never met anyone like him before; he was so special to me and I was so special to him. We were in unison; once we met it was like two people conjoining into one person.
Once Sam finally let go, I propped up from the bed and grabbed the car keys and headed out the door with just a baggy shirt and slippers.
I left the apartment without them stopping me, and I’m glad they didn’t because they probably knew I wasn’t able to be stopped. I opened the car door and started the engine and drove off.
I went to the local grave yard right down the road from my parent’s house. I opened the car door and stepped out onto the grass covering the grave yard. I walked about a mile up a rocky path until I reached his grave.
I kneeled down so my knees were bare on the stubbly grass; facing his grave.
Edward Lynn
1987-2011
Rest in Peace
My brother; died of leukemia last year; I never mentioned him because I don’t like to mention him. My friends never knew I had a brother since he moved out to Australia when he turned 19, and we didn’t have the greatest bond in the world, but if I ever had a problem with boys I would always go to him. He was my big brother, helped me through everything but we would always fight.
“Hey Eddy,” I spoke to his grave.
“I need your help, and it’s kind of hard. This boy I like; well in love with, is famous and I’m going back to school soon and I don’t think we could be together,” I bit my lip and looked down at the ground where I saw flowers my mother recently placed.
“I was wondering if it was meant to be you would let fate bring us back together after my school year,” by that word, I blew a kiss to his grave and got off my knees and headed back to the car.
oh shit she had a brother wutttttttttttttttt hahah hope you guys like it!