ZACH
Apparently I cried myself to sleep last night, judging by the puddle of tears I awoke to. I think today's the day, the day I finally tell my mom. I don't bother going to eat I was just to nervous. All the emotions running through my mind, that was the one and only thing I could think about. I go to the one person that I know can calm my nerves.
I walk into the room, walking over to the side of the bed and climb in, at this point I don't care I just need to not stress about this. It's not that bad right? Like how hard can it be? I just want to melt into his cuddles, his arms. I just lay there, thinking, thinking about life, the band, the fans, and why the hell I cried myself to sleep last night! I know that he loves me, head over heels! That's how we both are every moment we're together! Except my heart and mind can't get on the same page sometimes.
Next thing I know I'm wrapped up in his arms. I just lay there thinking what is she gonna think? Is she gonna hate me? I'm her son, she has to love her son right? I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Jack sitting upright as he says to me: "Hey baby, you ok? You never do this..." "Jack? I'm ready..." as soon as the words left my mouth he looked so shocked. "I love you but I'm not there yet!" I say making him laugh, "God your laugh...your smile...it's the only thing I need, I love you." He gives me a peak on the lips as I hum in response. It soon gets more heated as I know full well that I desire his skin, his touch, the electricity that runs throughout my body every time we touch.
I want it to stay like this forever, just me, him, and our feelings. He earns a soft moan from me as he touches my torso and starts admiring every feature as he takes my shirt off slowly to reveal my body. His eyes reconnect with my mine as he pulls away and I start to tear up, "God your beautiful..." he says making a tear slip from my eye. "Don't cry baby, come here..." he says as he pulls me into another kiss as the tension soon starts to pick up where it left off. I slowly start to lift his shirt up and over his head, as I run my hands over his scars, as I run my hands over the past that has faded away but will always be a reminder. Our eyes meet, no words are exchanged as just look into each other's eyes. The actions talking for us, "Jack you're beautiful and I'm glad that your mine..." "Me too baby, me too."
We lay there, warped up in each other's grace and bliss. "Honey? We should probably get up soon, as much as I love kissing your lips...the boys might suspect something." I say looking into gorgeous eyes dragging me into a trance. I litter his face in kiss playfully as he starts having a rather cute laugh attack. "Rosy stop it!..." he says laugh hysterically. "For real Jacky we need to get up!" I say still laughing off what just happened. "Finnnneee..." Jack Robert Avery don't you whine, I say chuckling a bit as I move in to give him a peak on the lips. "Boop!" I touching his nose in a playful flirty way. "Oh?...so Zach Herron's a flirt huh?" He says making me laugh as I walk backwards out of the room.
He's adorbs what did I do to deserve him. I walk out to join the boys in the kitchen, leaning on the island, "Hey Z! You're rather happy and glowing today something happen?" "No...not yet at least, I know I usually go to Jack for this but, can I talk to you for a bit?" I say knowing he can sense something's up. "Sure bud, come here..." he says putting his arm around as we walk out of the kitchen, past Jack as I mouth "Babe, I'm fine, I'll tell you later..." brushing past him blowing a kiss as I exit the room.
"So bud, what's up?" he says with sadden in his eyes, showing me that he genuinely cares what happens to me. "So...last night...I apparently cried myself to sleep last? I don't know how but I'm guessing the pile of Polaroids and box of pics from before we formed the band has something to do with it?" I say almost breaking down at the thought of why I would even begin to think that something like that would happen. "It's ok Zach, it's gonna be fine," he says reassuring me. "Thanks Dani, I'm just really nervous..." I say earning a furrowed brow from the ocean-eyed boy. "I was planning on coming out to my mom today..." I say recalling the memories of last night with worry in my voice at the thought of what might happen. "Oh Zach...buddy..." he says bringing me into a loving hug.
"Z, if she doesn't accept you then she isn't your real mother, if she really loved you she would understand. Sometimes it's not that easy for people to grasp the fact of being gay. These things take time, these wounds take time to heal...ok?" He says bringing me out of the hug, just about the only person who can make me feel safe right now, just took it away. "You want me to get Jacky?" I just shake my head in response, crying at the thought that Daniel might be right, I can't lose her, I'd be destroyed.
What felt like hours was only a couple minutes, I really do love this kid...all those sleepless nights and it finally hits me, he really loves me. Then, as I come to my sudden realization and it sinks in Jack walks in seeing me broken, vulnerable, hurt, not by anybody...yet. I'm the real monster, no one else, it's me. I kept blaming myself when in reality I did this, to myself. "Jacky?" I say hoping I'm right, "Yeah... babe I'm here...it's gonna be ok, Dani told me we'll get though this." How?" He says knowing I know the answer to the question he posed. "Together, like we do with everything," I say, the words making me feel a little better about the situation and more at ease.
"Baby, you want me to hold you?" He says looking in my eyes making me wanna cry right then and there. "Yes please..." I break into a million pieces all at once. "Baby how are we gonna tell my mom, I'm really scared." I say with a hint of worry in my voice as I sense all the memories and situation that could happen arise in my mind. Soon overwhelming me and causing me to go to back to square one. "Rosy, I'll be right there with you, don't worry. It's gonna be fine, if things don't go the way you want you'll always have me." He says rubbing my arm in warmth and reassurance which consumes my being, wrapping me in its grasp.
JACK
"Thanks babe," he says looking up at him as I return a glance that only makes him smile, as we get up from the floor and each other's protective arms of which we feel asleep in. I take a deep breath and hope for the best, "Babe? I think I'm ready...it's now or never!" He says with fake pep in my voice, ultimately trying to hide the immense amount of fear inside his being. "You want me to let the boys know? Call a band meeting?" Daniel suggests as I see Zach shake his head in response to the prompt. "Should we get Chris in here? I could have Corbyn call her?" "Yeah do that, I've gotta talk with her anyways..." We walk to Living Room greeted by the boys and Christina.
"So...today's the day," Zach says, shaking a bit, as rub his arm. I look at Christina as she's really excited. "Not that day C!" I mouth in her direction. The expression plastered is one of disappointment, yet happiness. "I'm gonna tell my mom...I'm gay," as he lets the words leave his mouth his voice breaks and I go to hug him. Leaning his head on the crook of my neck, as the boys and Christina join. I let the boys hug him, and comfort him as I drag Christina out of the room. Corbyn gives me a dirty look as I put a finger over his mouth to tell him to keep it a secret.
"You in?" Is all I had to say, immediately getting a response back of pure giddiness. "Yes! Is that even a question?" She says not being able to contain her excitement. I kiss her on the cheek, "Thanks love." I say pulling away, seeing Corbyn in the doorway. Not being amused, yet having a look of playfulness of 'are you serious, why ya gotta do dat' look on his face. Crooked brow in all, "Sorry I stole your girl bean, she's just so cute, and did I mention the perfect ring shopper to go with?" "Oh? When's this going down? And can I come?" He says letting his gay show I bit. "Around 1 tomorrow, and 2? Yes of course! Also...leave being gay to us ok? Jk love ya, and it might be 20 times easier if ya keep it between us..." I say kissing his cheek, making him blush a bit and become embarrassed that it was by another guy. Which I guess he wasn't used to, since Zach. "I love you babes, especially...you." I say putting my finger on Corbyn's chest flirting a bit. "See ya guy's" leaving the room as I go up to Zach who's calmed down a bit.
I smash my lips onto his as he gets caught off guard by my actions, but immediately kissing back. I grab his waist catching him by surprise, allowing me entrance. Earning a soft hum and moan from Zach as he pulls away. "Twice. I love you, what did I do to ever deserve that hot af makeout session, in front everyone..." He says embarrassed. "Everything, you're so hot and all mine." I say pulling him into another kiss. "Ok ok, chill boys...and twice? When was the first?" Corbyn says questioning, "Babe! Let my OTP do their own thing and makeout whenever they want! Geez, I thought you loved me!" She says sounding like she's offended but not really. "I do, you're my life and soul..." he says pressing his lips into hers deepening the kiss, not letting go.
"Ok, lovebirds break it up, enough with the PDA..." Daniel says as Corbyn chimes in "Oh? So when Jachary does it it's completely fine if they did it here, you're saying it's completely ok? But when Corbina makes out it's not ok?" "Exactly, that's exactly what I meant!" says Daniel laughing. "Why?" "Cuz it's Jachary no...explanation...needed" says Daniel again, Christina agreeing, as I kiss his cheek in between words. "Awww, SEE?!" Christina and Daniel say in unison putting extra emphasis on the "see".
Next thing I know Jonah puts his arm around Dani looking down on him with sweet eyes. "Jo, don't think I didn't see that! #Donah confirmed?!" My brown haired lover says. "Maybe, maybe not..." he says kissing Daniels temple. "It's not real sorry, I just like him as a brother, a best friend. We may or may not cuddle at night?" A 'Jonah seriously' look coming from Dani as he looks up annoyed. "What I love my ocean?!" He says shrugging his shoulders. "I love you too Jo!" he says excited giving him a side hug. "We should probably get going babe, are you positive you wanna do this?" I say taking him over to the side. "Yeah baby, I'll be fine...can we go?" He says jumping up and down anxiously. "Yes, Rosy, yes we can." I say taking his hand intertwining them together, putting my head in the crook of his neck as we walk to the car.
TIMESKIP
"I don't wanna this, I can't do this, I don't want to lose her Jack! I can't!" He says yelling in my face, seeing vulnerable when he can't help it. Seeing my love broken, I could sense his anxiety attack coming on before he knew it. I know that's creepy, but to me it just proves how much we are one. Zach and Jack, you can't have one without the other. "Babe, deep breathes, in and out just breathe, I'm going to hold your hand the whole time, I promise. We'll go in when you're ready, ok?" I say as put his hand on my heart.
"This, this is what you stole that night in the airport, you showed this banged up heart how to love again, how to trust, how to truly live life, how to be grateful, most of all you showed me who I really am." "This is never gonna leave your side, it will forever stay loyal to you and only you. Only you Jack Avery, only you have the real key. You are my light in the dark, you are my Superman, my rock, my everything. This only beats for you and always has I just needed to find what was right in front of me the whole time." He says making me tear up
"Baby if I kiss you will that calm you down?" He only nods in response, as he begins to turn his head looking out the window. "Baby, look at me, it's going to be ok..." I turn his chin to face me, caressing his cheek slowly. "I know...it just-just...I don't wanna lose her." "Jacky, I can't it'll hurt too much." He says with a bit of paranoia. I just put his lips onto mine, instantly brings his nerves back down, his heart now returning to it's normal cadence. I deepen the kiss a bit, sensing that he's still a tiny bit nervous not letting go of that doubt.
"If you want..." "You'd do that for me? Seriously?!" He says sounding shocked, "Of course Rosy I love you." I say looking his eyes, truly solidifying the fact that our hearts have truly become one, I can sense his heartbeat in mine. He's apart of me. "Baby boy, I believe in you, will it help if I hold your hand as we walk in?" I say as I walk around to the other side opening the door. He just hums in response. "Y'know I love that all you have to do is just look at me a certain way to make me light up instantaneously. You, Zachary Dean Herron are something special!" I say peaking his lips as we walk up to the dreaded doorway. The moment of no return.
As we wait, I could sense his nerves peaking a bit, I grab his hand behind our backs and grasp it protectively, yet gently. After a few minutes to my shock and surprise we're greeted by Resse. "Zachy! I've missed you so much!" She says with excitement jumping in his arms. "I did too Resse!" He says with pure delight and happiness. "Hi Jacky," she says giving me a hug as I bend down picking her up. "Hi Ressey! How's Ryan? Did you keep an eye on him for me?" She again with excitement and giddiness shakes her head. "Goob job! Can you do me and your brother a huge favor?" I say looking her in her innocent eye's, such love and warmth present among them.
"Sure!" She says excited to take up the task, "Can you go find your mom for us?" As I put her down, I see her run up the stairs, determined to find her mom. "Zachy, you didn't tell me how amazing your house was." I say as we step into the Foyer. "That kitchen! It's so Modern, I love Modern!" I say peering into the clean, crisp, white kitchen. Highlighted with black and wooden accents nicely playing off the white cabinetry and white marbled quartz island in the middle capturing my attention as the focal point. "Dang honey, I didn't realize that you had such a design eye, I love that!" He says quickly peaking my lips, still cautious in case his mom is around.
"Baby..." He says giving him a stern look, yet a caring one at the same time. "I know, I know...ever-everything is going to be ok no matter what. No matter the outcome, this heart beats for me and only me..." I say pressing my hand against his heart as he pulls me into a sweet hug. Cradling my head against my chest.
As I pull away we walk into the kitchen, sitting at the kitchen table. Lifting our hands on the table still intertwined, as I kiss it lovely, knowing that he's super tense because Myta could come down at any moment. "Zach?" She says coming down from the stairs sounded shocked he's here. "Hi mom! I've missed you!" He' says getting up, putting up a facade to him the fear and pain in his eyes. Pulling her into a hug, ultimately hurting her more. The fact that she was oblivious, I could sense hurt him.
Seeing him have to lie to someone he loves, and her not conscious that she might lose her son forever in the nest few minutes is hurting more than it should for me. I can't even begin to imagine what Zach feels. She's always been a fundamental part of his life, and her not aware that he could even have the possibility that her own son would rip away her happiness? That's devastating.
Witnessing her smile, it just made that last moment too real. In my heart I could sense that Zach just wanted a mom after this, someone, any parental figure. He needed that gap, that only they could fill, only a mother. Sure, I could give him the whole world, but at the end of the day? There's nothing more comforting than a mother's love and support.
In his eyes deep down as he leads his mom to the table, I could see in that moment, he knew he would lose her indefinitely. "Mrs. Herron, I sorry but could I burrow your son for a minute?" She shakes her head agreeing to m request. I take him to the nearest bathroom...to talk. (A/n Ya nasties) I grab his hand protectively and lead him to the room.
"Shhh...all we need is each other, if that's how this ends that's ok. Why?" I say cradling his face as I look into his eyes of fear sadness. He can hide it well he always has until he met me. I can see through his eyes and to his heart, it's telling him to let go. "Because we'll get through this together, like we do..." he looking down at the floor not wanting to face me.
"Zach...bud, whatever happens and I mean whatever, I will always love you. Nothing, I mean nothing can take me away from you. Not the fans, the boys, or anyone else ok?" I say in the attempt to bring him some closure to make him feel better about this situation. To be honest, I feel like I need it more than him.
"You're strong, brave and incredibly lucky to have all these amazing people in your life...Corbyn, Christina, Daniel, Jonah, all their parents. They would do anything for you. You wanna know why?" I say looking into his eyes with sincerity. "Because Zach, you bring so much joy into their lives they wanna do the same for you. I know that for a fact! Aside from that, most of all, you have me...your number one fan. From the very beginning, since we first met."
I kiss his forehead as he starts to let a tear slip. His eyes showing that glimpse of fear hidden surprisingly well by hope. "Baby, you don't have to hide...please Zach I'm here to help you, let me in. Baby please." I say kiss his lips as I put my hands on his chest, wiping away the tear as I pull away. He just looks down and to the right not wanting to meet my eyes out of disappointment. Disappointment that he's not enough for me, his mom...I just pull him into my arms holding him tight. I know that at any moment he could shatter like glass as it falls off a table.
Not even seconds later I hear sobs soaking my shirt as I cradle his head and rub it softly in comfort. I put my chin on top of his head, "Oh baby...I'm so so sorry, let it out..." as the words leave my mouth he just cries harder. I let out a shaky breath hoping there's something I can do. Anything I can do, I feel so helpless.
I call the boys knowing they always boost his mood. "Hey Dani...someone's a bit shaken up." I say through the phone as I still hold Zach in my arms. "Got it, I'll go get 'em." I FaceTime them hearing and seeing all of them enter the room where he's at. "Zach? You ok bud? I'm worried..." Corbyn says with clear sadness in his voice for the younger boy.
"Guys I don't know if can do this, I'm scared..." he says sniffling as he talks. "Bud, everything is gonna be ok we're here for you always ok? Don't ever forget that. Any of us would do anything for you in an instant we're you're family." Jonah says making my heart melt and make me almost cry. "All we need is each other, since that day in the airport it's always been us five against the world...look where we are now."
"Sorry Jack in advance but Zach, oh Zach, when I said that night that you were the heart and soul of Why Don't We that night I mean't it. You're the heart of this beautiful friendship between us. I can speak for all of us when I say that we love you more that you could ever know. I would do anything for you, we all would like Jonah said." As he finishes Zach pulls away from my chest smiling, I could tell he was instantly happier.
"You could wake me up at 3am to talk any day of the week. I would sit there and talk with you for hours if that's what it takes to help you with whatever it is. Talk to us anytime even if it's at 3 in the morning we always have time for our Zach. Ok? I love you we all do. You have all of us to lean on, especially one amazing person that's standing right next to you."
"Damn Corbyn! The hell did that come from?!?" We all day in unison, soon bursting out into laughter. "See? That's the smile that makes millions of people happy everyday including us." Corbyn says once again. "Dude, you got this we are there in spirit!" Daniel says blowing a kiss goodbye as I end the call.
He looks up at me with pure love in his eyes, for me. "Baby, see? That's what I've been trying to tell you, we all love you immensely. I would even die for you." He pulls me into another hug as I grip his head lovingly. "You ready?" I say kissing his lips as I pull away from the hug. As I pull away from the long kiss I pipe up, "That right there is pure love, for you." "Thank you Jack, I needed that, I really did." He says gripping onto me like he can't leave my arms. "You're welcome Rosy, anytime." I say as we walk out of the bathroom back into the situation we both forgot about...
Telling his mom that he's gay.
A/n welp...finished the rest of this at 12am yesterday...thanks for reading this book that's all! Oh? Oh? You thought that was it? Nope! That's just part 1! I've still got more heartbreak and sadness to get through!
I have a challenge for y'all! Can you spot all the foreshadowing in previous parts and this one? Do you know what's gonna happen?!? Pm me and you might get something special in the next one! (Regardless imma give it to you tho tehe)
Sorry for the rant I haven't updated in a month! Longest part I've ever written!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM MY FAMILY TO YOURS I LOVE YOU ALL🦃
WC: 4165