6:45 AM
Kellin's P.O.V
I remembered everything. From getting my big break, to meeting her. From her running away, to getting the phone call that left me here. It's funny how phone calls can change your life completely. I mean, not even a full 12 hours ago was I woken up to be told the girl I once loved was dying. Now, here I am again. But this time, the news isn't easy. It isn't someone saying she got better, that she has improved. They called me to inform me of something I never planned on happening.
Brooklyn Mackenzie's death.
My Brooke.............the one that was too fragile to hold the last time I saw her. Brooke ran off, leaving me to chase her. In our relationship, she kept up with me. Never had I changed the flow, but now? It was flipped. These turning tables spun too fast to catch. How did I let her slip through my fingers? At the moment, Katelynn took Copeland and I was here, broken on the floor. Brooke and I put each other through so much pain and misery................but that's love. It was always sickening, twisted. Nothing more, nothing less. My tear-stained face burned when it came in contact with the cool air of the outside world. I had just taken a hot, long shower. It was a way I tried to wash Brooke away, which failed miserably. She wasn't some girl who got to know, got to kiss, got to hold, then let go of easily. No, Brooke was never one of those girls. No matter what life punched her with, she deserved a happy ending. Maybe her death brought that............Maybe, just maybe, that was her happy ending. No more pain, no more trouble. All of this ran through my head as I changed into a black v-neck and loose fitting jeans. They hung smugly on my hips, but didn't show off my boxers. Perfect. I decided music was needed, and plugged my iPod into the iDeck.
Fix You covered by Secondhand Serenade ft. Juliet Simms.
Perfect, my feelings.
When you lose something you cannot replace......
Tears stream down your face.....
You couldn't replace Brooklynn, and tears had once stained my face. After a moment, more songs went by but only one caught me. Automatic Loveletter.
Make-up Smeared Eyes.
Brooke had those for me once....Brooke. Everything had to go back to her! Why? Because the thought of no life pulsing through that once hyper, carefree girl is unbearable. Murdering me in the making, that's why. After a while, I stopped the mental break downs, the tears that briefly escaped, and the music. I never thought one day, music wouldn't help. This was the first time..........I believed it always would, it had for Brooke. But maybe it didn't, maybe it helped cover the pain. Sometimes it could have refreshed the hurt, like it did to me just now. I was no longer emotionally stable and broke down. The walls fell, leaving disaster.
"No.....no..........NO!!" I started out speaking softly and ended in a shriek of agony. My wet face felt the rush of air brush it, freezing it to a red tinge.
"Please............Brooke, walk through the door! Show me this is some sick fucking joke!" It took all the strength in my lungs, but my statement, my plead, echoed through the empty house. But the sobs wouldn't bring someone to life. The yells, the begging did nothing. This just gave me more anger and sadness. They were washing and fading and twisting together. Breathing became such a pain, I wanted to stop the action altogether. Like Brooke had. I want to join Brooke. Stumbling my way into the bathroom, I double checked to make sure what I thought and felt were real. Were they? I had fans, I had Katelynn.
You don't have Brooke anymore...
There it was. My pathetic reason to leave this world. She was a poison. An addiction. A guilty pleasure. A secret. She was my dirty little secret. That bitter-sweet flavor you run too. Music still swayed from the radio, and Terrible Things by Mayday Parade came on. Life did do terrible things, truthfully. But we didn't have warning like this guy in the song, I just lost the girl I once loved.
I can't help but notice you're staring at me....
The first concert. Brooke and I had met each other's gazes so many times........How long ago was that? It seemed to be such a short time ago that I met her.
Such a short time to love her..
Where was the positive parts of love?! Gone with Brooke?! Possibly. I remembered that quote she scribbled down once....
What is heartbreak? Heartbreak is lying on the floor, trying your damn hardest to breathe while at the same time wondering why it went all wrong and how you're going to get up and pretend everything is all right and how the hell you''re going to fix that hole in your chest. Yeah, that's heartbreak.
This was me at the moment. I was begging for forgiveness on my bathroom floor, debating on taking my own life. Just one thing changed it though. One thing. A phone started to ring in the distance, and I found the will to answer it.
"WHAT?" I snapped loudly.
"It's Harmony......" The young girl sniffled on the other end of the line. I felt guilt rush over me as I realised I wasn't the only one to feel such sorrow. Poor Harmony had cut, taken a blade once more to those gentle wrists. And what did I do? Wallow in the misery.
"Is something wrong..?" I hesitated but got it out. Why would she contact me?
"Brooke. She.............." A sob was held back. What about her? I know she is gone, no need to remind me.
"SHE WHAT?!" I screeched.
"They revived her........." The harshness left me stunned as Harmony hung up. They revived her..............revived. Her. She wasn't gone. They brought her back.......................The brought me my Brooke. Without hesitation, I got everything I needed and rushed off to the hospital. This wasn't over, she won this battle.
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They haven't let me see her. They rejected me multiple times, which began to drive me crazy. The only thing occupying me in between was music. Finally, a doctor came out. Sometime in the mix of this mess, Harmony came and I apologized. Now we were fine but worried to death about our dear soldier.
"Ms. Mackenzie's family?" The doctor acquired. We just nodded. It seemed like we were family now, a little white lie won't change that.
"She................is in critical condition.......But as well as to be expected when her heart has recently stopped altogether. Not to mention her nerve might be set off from the reviving," With that, the doctor nodded and left. Everything was rushed. Soon enough, Harmony was curled into a chair once having another emotional moment. I held back everything until she drifted off. A few tears slipped as I began a speech.
"I hope you know what we go through for you, Brooke, dear. And that I don't care what it takes...............I'm here. I always will be, I don't care if you hear me right now. I love you. It isn't something I could stop, it is a natural thing that comes like breathing. After this crazy roller coaster of Life took off, I missed those lazy moments we had. And I finally got that stupid little quote of your's," I chuckled, "Because I was like that when your heart stopped. I debated on taking my own life, sweetie. Just stay with me, forever. Your forever is all that I need............" I ended. What else to say? I didn't know, I wanted her to stay here with me. Losing her gave me all the pain I could stand for. For some reason...I just couldn't leave. I couldn't if. I did, I would never forgive myself. Pain tore me away slowly, bit by bit, when I saw something I never thought I'd see again.
Brooke's beautiful, baby blue eyes.
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Brooklyn's P.O.V
The minute those words slipped, I came back. After hours of darkness and fear, I came back. My eyes opened, tears brimming them. But the look on Kellin's face.....I couldn't. How hard will this become? I can't stay. Staying would leave us a mess. Two hearts broken beyond repair. This was impossible, how can I decide to take the right path, when Kellin fogged my mind? We continued to stare into each other's eyes. It had been so long................
It's been months. Nearly a year. And he still came, prepared to take whatever harm you throw at his heart. Which, little did he know, I was going to.
"Brooke......." His voice cracked. I found enough strength to shake my head, and tears slipped.
"How did we get here?" Weakly, Kellin looked up at me as I asked the question no one had an answer for.
"Answering that is admitting defeat..." He sighed, running those fingers threw the hair I once adored.
"Then I have admitted defeat. Because I have a clue of what happened, and I hope, no, I pray to God you understand I am not putting you through my bullshit anymore.." I neglected my heart. This statement changed everything, from Kellin's expression to my eyes. They hardened, both of them. His face and my eyes. Him, for thinking. Me, for holding in those tears.
"Who ever said this was easy?" He whimpered.
"Kellin, no one gave us instructions. Just please............don't make this any harder..." I begged.
"What?! Breaking my heart? You sound like a pro!" Kellin hissed. I took it straight to the heart. Maybe, just maybe, he was right. But then again, maybe, possibly, he would't understand the twist in this story. I am breaking and hurting, too.
"You don't even know....Kellin. Just please, I don't know what else to do!" I screamed. What has gotten into Kellin? I just woke up, I had been dead! He should be agreeing, but asking for one last moment or night. But this wasn't the movies, the fairy tales. This wasn't some fake story you could tell and smile about.
"What do I not know, Brooke?!" Aggravation traced the tone he was using. I got fed up, and huffed as a sign of giving in.
"I don't even know! All I know is me and you?! WE SHOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPEN!" Even that hurt me. Facing that factor really changed my vision on the situation.
"You don't mean that..." Kellin was now giving up. He would show he was hurt, because of my poor choice of words. I finally had a good, perfect reason to no longer call him mine.
"See? Kellin, don't you get it? I keep hurting you! And in the process I kill myself a little bit more! We just.............can't.." I cried. Tears had no restraint, maybe Death was inviting.
"I'd rather risk being broken by you and your bittersweet taste than being torn by losing you. That is why I stay, Brooke. I stay because you are worth it, you're worth it all," Now, he was begging. Not directly, but he was using statements saying that he needed me there. But I knew this was for Kellin. So he can stay some rock star living the dream and me being the girl who once had some dream.
"Trust me, sweetie. I'm not," Venom licked my words. Why did I say that? This was the point of no return, this is where it ends. Kellin didn't speak, he just walked away. But took me by surprise as he turned. He was crying, crying his fragile heart out.
"If you're not worth it, and you think you're some waste of time, then I have no life. Because I spent every second thinking of you, and every breath I took in your presence seemed more useful," Kellin gave me a stern look and continued, "I love you Brooklyn Mackenzie, please no you left a permanent mark on me..." Realisation hit again.
But it is always too late when you notice.
That was true. I never noticed quickly enough. Only when I could never repair the damage. Harmony came in the minute Kellin left, but broke down at the sight of me.
"Oh my God! B-Brooke!!" She cried, wrapping her arms around me. But I was numb. Sucked into some black hole that appeared when the presence of the boy I swore I loved, left for good.
"He's gone," Monotone. That was all I got from this voice that came from me.
"Who?"
"Kellin.....................He left. All because I wanted to make more of a mess," And I sobbed. I didn't care, Harmony didn't either. She just held me, she had lost Chance once upon a time.
"Dear, he can't leave forever," She reassured me. But that was false hope, this time he left me with the goodbye.
"Sooner or later it's over, Harmony. I guess it's over, all too quickly though. Everything's created to be broken, right?" I choked out. Pain glazed her eyes but she kept silent. No gestures, no words.
"Harmony?" I whispered.
"Hmm?" Her voice was rough and raw of tears.
"If something ever happened to me...........Would you make sure Kellin knew? To all expenses?"
"Nothing will happen!" Harmony panicked.
"You never know..." I mumbled.
"But.........I won't lose you......." Her sentence came out barely audible.
"Just.......Promise. Please!" I needed to know if this happened again, Kellin got a goodbye. He was allowed to know. Even when he hated me, he can know when I die.
"I promise." Her voice was bland and void of emotions. I nodded curtly. I wished I could tell the future, so I could know if Harmony would go through such a pain. I also wanted to know my own future, where I go from this. I want to get better. Because something hit me.
I stopped checking under the bed for monsters, because I am the monster.
Short and simple, how do you like it? I am writing two books for now, and this one needed to be updated