It's a daunting word.
Silence.
The complete absence of sound is sometimes calming and relaxing. It helps you sleep. It lets you think deeply in peace, your mind able to wander around into a different universe. It's an escape from the destructively loud world that eats at your ears everyday.
But at this moment silence couldn't be more deafening.
Vanessa sits across from you, elbows resting on her knees and her folded hands against her mouth as she thinks.
Lifeless, your body stays seated on your living room couch. Your eyes stay as still as a statue, unblinking. Your head's tilted down while your mind falls deep into an empty void.
"How many times have you taken the test?"
Finally your friend breaks the silence. It shatters to a million pieces, falling to the ground as you let out a breath and speak.
"Three times. All positive."
Her expression grows concerned "You've hiding this for three weeks?"
You nod, quietly.
Vanessa licks her lips. All her words that wanted to come out were in the form of questions.
"Who knows so far?"
"Only you and the doctor."
Your eyes stay focused on the floor. As far as you knew Vanessa was the only person you could trust who wouldn't go around telling everyone. She was the only person who would really try to help you.
"Can you tell your manager or the company?"
You gulp at her question. "No." you reply, lifting your gaze from the floor to look at her "They'll probably go ballistic. Their first worry will be my career, not me."
Her eyes sadden at your painfully true words.
"You can tell Jungkook though." she suggests.
Your face shows an unbelievable expression, marking her suggestion as ludicrous.
"No." you state bluntly.
"What do you mean 'no'?" she questions, giving you a mortified look "He's the father of your child, he deserves to know."
"How do I even know he's the father?!" you ask, already knowing the answer.
"Because he's the only person you've been fucking for the past year." she says, her eyes growing wider as you continue to deny everything.
But he was careful, he pulled out in time...didn't he?
That night rests as a haze in your memory. You weren't able to think straight the entire time. You definitely wouldn't have noticed.
You groan and chuck yourself back into couch, staring up at the ceiling. "How could I be so stupid?" you aim the question mostly as yourself.
"You're not, Y/N." Vanessa says soothingly "These things happen. To be honest I think this was meant to happen."
Her words barely cut through your miserable thoughts of regret.
"Y/N." she repeats your name. You raise your head in her direction.
"He needs to know."
You shake your head at her. "No, he doesn't. He's not even here. What's it going to matter to him?"
She follows your question with an answer instantly. "Because the woman he loves is pregnant with his child."
Her eyes are desperate to convince you. You blink multiple times, deciding whether to believe her or not.
Loves?
"I bet you the universe was getting sick of you both making dumb ass decisions and decided to throw in a baby so that you guys would wake.the.fuck.up." she states, raising her eyebrows and giving you an obvious look.
You start to realize the truth in her words. This.....wasn't a mistake.
There were so many chances where the two of you could've fixed it all and all you did was destroy each and every one and them.
Maybe this really was a wake up call. You were meant to be his future and he was meant to be yours.
"What do I do?" your question comes out desperate, feeling that whatever came out of your friends mouth was the full and right truth.
A grin climbs onto her face when she sees you finally taking her advice.
"Get on the next plane to Korea."
.
Shuffled footsteps creep across the tiles of the kitchen floor. Each step increasing its unsteady and slow speed as they approach the heavenly fridge in the corner.
The clock ticks away in the dead silent dorm. At 2am the quiet sounds always got the chance to be noticed in the early morning of the day.
The fridge opens with big effort of a tired hand. Jungkook leans his worn out body down to get a better view of the edible items awaiting for him. Uninterested in eating anything, his eyes search along the drink section. He has only type of drink in mind.
His eyes passing all the juices and the water, he finds a small can of beer. Licking his lips his hand almost lurches for the can but when he gets a closer view he sees the top already opened. He shakes it only to hear a few drops rattling inside.
"Ugh." he groans, slamming the fridge door and chucking the useless can into the bin.
The can misses it's destination and hits the ground, contributing to the loud noise of the fridge door slamming.
With both hands, he rubs his face in frustration.
He turns around and climbs up the stairs again, an idea taking place. Walking across the white floors, he approaches his hyung's room. His pale knuckles knock on the door.
A few seconds pass and the noises of someone lumbering to the entrance are heard. Namjoon opens the door slowly, his BT21 KOYA pajamas matching his sleep mask shifted unevenly onto his forehead. His puffy eyes barely open as they squint at the disturbing man before him.
"Jungkook?" he mumbles, his throat raspy from deep sleep "Your still awake? I thought you had passed out after our late concert."
Jungkook is quick to disregard Namjoon's concern "Can't sleep. Listen, hyung, do you have anymore alcohol?"
Namjoon tilts his head, unable to understand his younger friend's sudden need.
"Alcohol? We already drank this evening."
"Yes, I know." Jungkook states, growing a bit annoyed "But I can't sleep and I know you have an emergency stash in your cupboard."
His hyung rubs his eyes and looks at him more attentively. "How do you-?"
"Yah, do you have the alcohol or not?!" Jungkook snaps, informally.
Now fully awake, Namjoon stands slightly stunned. Jungkook never reacted like this to his hyungs.
"Jungkook..." he says, sympathetically. Instead of getting mad he looks past the irritation in Jungkook's eyes.
"Have you been thinking about her?" he asks, calmly.
Jungkook blinks and swallows.
When he says nothing Namjoon sighs. "I'm sorry." he places a hand on Jungkook's shoulder "I know it's been hard for you."
Jungkook looks away, giving a small nod. He hadn't opened up to his other members about this yet.
"I just..." Jungkook lets out a sigh "I don't know. I've just...never felt so hurt in my life."
When he looks up at Namjoon again there's a small trace of tears almost brimming his eyes. Namjoon's heart sinks at his young friend in pain.
"I know I'm still young but..." Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, trying to keep himself from crying "....I really thought she was the one."
Namjoon nods, wanting to bring him into an embraceable hug.
"I guess I just didn't deserve her." Jungkook shrugs, dropping his head.
Namjoon frowns at his statement.
How could such a kind hearted man think so little of himself?
Namjoon's concern grows. He squeezes his friend's shoulder "Hey, don't say that."
Jungkook raises his head again, his hyung continues. "Sadly not every love story ends happily but when shit like this happens. You gotta use it to build you up, not tear you down."
"Not everything happy lasts." he carries on "People will show up in your life and leave before you know it." he says. "But that doesn't mean you don't deserve them or any happiness."
His deep words bury into Jungkook's chest causing his urge to cry to wash away with a bit of suffering.
"You're a great guy, Jungkook. If anything this world doesn't deserve you."
For months, it was the first time Jungkook could feel his heart warm at someone's words. Taken back by how intelligent and kind his leader is, more respect's grows in place for him.
Namjoon pulls his younger brother in for a solid hug. Jungkook doesn't hesitate to embrace the amiable hug, wrapping his arms around his hyungs back.
"So many people love and need you, including me. Never forget that."
Jungkook smiles into his shoulder "Love you too, bro."
They pull away from each other. When Namjoon notices his smile, he returns it with a dimpled grin.
"Sorry for, uh, disturbing you." Jungkook apologizes.
"No worries at all." Namjoon replies "Actually do you wanna sleep in my room tonight? Might help you get some sleep."
Jungkook's smile deepens at his hyungs affectionate offer. "Sure. Thanks."
.
Standing on the sidewalk near the airport you frantically wave your hand in the air, trying to signal at least one of the busy taxi's zooming past you. All of the cars seemed to pick everyone off the sidewalk except you.
"Oh, come on." you say, urgently. You lift your hand higher in an attempt to make your self more noticeable.
Constant voices were telling you to hurry up and all you wanted to see was Jungkook standing before you.
Finally a taxi takes you into consideration and pulls up beside you. You fumble with the handle and chuck yourself inside.
"Big Hit building, please." You pull your bag in, since it was all you thought to bring, and shut the door.
"Hey, it's you again." the driver says, directing a smile through the rear view mirror towards you.
"Huh?" your eyebrows knit together.
"You're the crazy lady who always got into my cab in a hurry and would chuck money at me when you'd leave." he says, still keeping a goofy smile on his face while he explains.
You shakily laugh "Oh, right. I remember you!"
You really didn't. Considering how many times you were late, you were sure just about every taxi driver had money chucked into their face as soon as you would reach your destination.
"Yeah, sorry about the chucking."
He cheerily laughs in return. "No worries. Most of the time you gave me extra so I didn't mind."
You smile back.
He takes his eyes off the mirror and drives off.
Even though the drive was only around half an hour, it felt like an eternity. You constantly nibbled at your nails throughout the journey, staring at the familiar city through the window.
The tall Big Hit building appears in your view and the car comes to a stop, signalling your arrival. Hurriedly, you grab a wad of cash and try your best to place it right in the driver's hand.
With only one leg out of the car, the driver stops you. "Wait! You gave me dollars!"
Your head whips around at him. "I just gave you 150 dollars, that's going to be quite a lot in Korean money."
Before he can say anything more, you desperately get out of the car with your bag. Your legs carry you as fast you can to the building.
Forgetting completely about the security, you try to yank the entrance open. The door doesn't budge even slightly at your full force. Your eyes drop to ID scanner and a frustrated noise erupts from your body.
"What the fuck do I do now?!" you shout at yourself, dismissing the odd stares from the people passing by.
Your head falls onto the door while you stare hopelessly at the ground.
"Y/N?"
Your body immediately spins around at the familiar voice.
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A/N: There's been a few hateful comments about the main character. So just to clarify, no one's perfect. The main character has had a very rough past. All the mistakes made by her and other characters are part of the story.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE VOTES AND COMMENTS MY LOVELIES! 😘❤️💗💙💚💛🧡💜🖤