❝Are we better off alone. . .❞
It's a dream, Marina thought as the image on her phone started to blur—a nightmare, she corrected. "It's probably just photoshopped..." Paige said, there was no mistaking the doubt in her voice.
Rightfully so, she knew the truth. That was her home. He took the pictures in the bedroom they shared... the room where their daughter would crawl into bed with them when she was afraid. Bile stirred inside of her at the realization. "I have to go," She choked out, before taking her little girl's hand and rushing away ignoring Paige's protest.
Sanctuary. It was the word that echoed in her mind as she tried to ignore the looks of their co-workers. Some full of sympathy, others looking triumphant—this sick amusement dancing in their eyes at her misery. "Where are we going?" Davy asked suddenly to her frantic mom.
"I-I-" Marina stopped abruptly, her head turning left and then right. "I don't know..." She finally admitted, double-checking each hallway. Her fingers yanked their way through her hair anxiously, not sure what to do.
Her heart pounded in its cage fiercely, there was only one place she could think of and it was the very last place she wanted to be right now. Seth's locker room. No, she realized as more phones around her buzzed with the news, out in the open is the last place I want to be.
Her strides became longer with each step, if it wouldn't make her look so weak she would have run to safety. "Rina," someone called out for her.
"Not now." She snapped back not even bothering to turn around. She didn't have time for the pity or half-hearted "it probably isn't even true." She didn't want to hear that he's an asshole or she deserves better. It was no one's goddamn business but she knew until someone else screwed up royally this was going to be the talk of the business for at least a few weeks. A thought she couldn't bear.
+ + +
The door slammed behind them, Marina's hands stayed against the wood holding it shut as if an imaginary crowd would force it open to get to her. It helped her feel in control of something, even if she knew it was irrational deep down. "What's wrong, Mommy?"
Marina's forehead rested against the door, with each breath she could feel all the strength inside herself seeping away. Her head was heavy, vision blurred, her heart strained. "Nothing, baby . . ." Her voice is cracked into chips of ice. The words melted on her tongue.
Her eyes closed and the tears finally started to fall. "Do you want me to get Daddy?"
"No," she said too quickly, spinning around to meet Davy's worried gaze. "I'm okay." She sniffled, wiping away the tears. She tried to give a reassuring smile but it felt wrong on her face. Foreign. And she wondered if that feeling would ever go away.
Davy rushed forward, her arms wrapping around her mother's legs in a tight hug. Her head tilted back, those brown eyes—Seth's eyes—touched hers. "I love you this much!" She said releasing Marina's legs and stretching her arms out as far as they'd go.
"I love you more." It didn't sound like her voice but her daughter didn't seem to mind, a grin spread across her face.
Her heart leaped into her throat when the doorknob moved, this sense of dread swirled around in her stomach, or maybe it was the baby squirming inside of her that made her feel nauseous.
Seth lingered in the doorway for a few seconds his gaze trained on Marina's blood-shot eyes. "Rina--"
"Go." Her voice was strong, confident and absolute, though her chin quivered.
His hands tightly wrung in front of him, his eyes touched the ceiling momentarily as he chewed on his bottom lip. "Just let me explain--"
"I said go!" He flinched, his body stiffening. The words came out sharp and she took a deep breath, trying to contain herself for her daughter's sake.
Davy shifted her attention between each parent, worry spread across her face.
"It wasn't what it looked like--"
A bitter laugh leaped out of Marina's throat, cutting him off again. "It looks like you sent pictures of your dick to someone. Pictures you took in the house we share, Seth. The house your daughter—well, daughters," She pointed at the small bump that was starting to form, "live in!"
"I know--" He took a step forward and she took one back.
"You didn't do that?"
He stared at her, his face hard, his jaw set, his fingers flexed by his side. Marina didn't care about his obvious frustration. "I did--"
"Then there's nothing left to explain, go."
"If you'd stop interrupting me!"
"Oh so now you're angry, yeah that makes sense be mad at me." Her eyes rolled.
All his sharp edges softened at once, "I'm sorry," He sighed. "I didn't mean to yell . . . can we please talk about this?" He almost begged.
"You wanna talk?" She paced uncontrollably, anger bubbled inside her chest. "Let's talk, was it a fan?" He stared blankly, "Was it a fan?" She asked louder.
"No."
"Who was it?"
His eyes shifted to the wall uncomfortable before they returned to hers. "That doesn't matter, Marina. All that matters is I fucked up, that I'm sorry . . ."
"I decide what matters, not you." She scoffed. "Who was it?" His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, "You wanted to talk, Seth, explain or leave!"
"Zahra."
"Zahra?" The name fell out of her mouth like it was poison she needed to rid her body of, "Zahra?" She rushed forward, abruptly impassionated. "That NXT bitch?"
"Rina--"
"Did you sleep with her?" He opened his mouth but she cut back in, "Don't you dare lie to me!"
There's a long pause, her heart clenched in her chest knowing the answer but not wanting to believe it. "It didn't mean anythi--" Her hand flew across his face, a loud crack filled the room.
Davy lunged forward her tiny fists collided with Marina's legs. "Don't hit my Daddy!" She cried.
Marina's words got caught in her throat, tears brimmed her eyes, her heart broke into two.
Seth scooped her up into his arms, "Davia!" He scolded, she buried her face into his neck sobbing and the anger evaporated. It wasn't her fault, both of them knew that. She was confused and afraid. "It's only pretend, okay?" She nodded, soft whimpers still coming from her lips.
"We--" her voice broke, "We shouldn't be doing this in front of her."
Frantically she gathered her things and jammed them into her bag. "What are you doing?" He asked.
"If you won't leave, we will."
He grabbed her wrist, stopping her when she reached for her phone. "We need to talk about this."
She pulled away, "No, you need to talk about this. I need to protect Davy."
"You wanna leave? Fine. But stop pretending it's for Davy. This is what you do when things get hard you run."
"I run?" She spat, "You ran, Seth, not me! Just because you're crawling back doesn't mean I have to stick around."
His jaw clenched and unclenched, "I think we're worth fighting for, don't you?"
"Don't . . ." Tears seared the back of her throat, no longer able to meet his gaze.
Seth's thumb grazed her bottom lip as he cupped her chin and tilted her head up. "I made a mistake, Rina."
A tingle vibrated through her body, she fought to ignore it. "How many times?" She said in a hushed tone, dreading the answer.
His hand fell, Adam's apple bobbing. "I'm not sure . . ."
"I'm carrying your child, doesn't that mean something to you?"
He looked taken back, "Of course it does! It started before we found out."
"Because that makes it so much better, right?" She said with heavy sarcasm, "Did it end three months ago?"
His gaze dropped and she knew, "No."
She didn't expect the slashes that ripped into her heart. "How long?" His eyes closed, "How long, Seth?"
With a deep breath he answered, "Six months." Her hand collided with his cheek again. "I ended it. That's why she posted those fucking pictures. If I could take it back I would. It was a mistake that I'll never make again, please."
A tear slid down her cheek and she hated herself for it. "A mistake is once, Seth. Once. Anything else is unforgivable."
"You don't mean that." His eyes were glossy with unshed tears. "I love you, I've always loved you and I know you love me. Look at me, Rina. I know that you love me even right now when you want so badly to hate me like I hate myself, but you can't."
They stood there in silence, eyes locked on each other for far too long. "How could you?" She cried. He wrapped his arm around her pulling her against him, holding both of his girls. One fast asleep and the other crying.
"I don't know . . . I just," He sighed into her hair, "I don't know."
"I trusted you, Seth. I thought you'd never ever hurt me. Now everything's changed." She pulled away, needing space. She knew touching him would cloud her judgment.
Tears pooled into his eyes. "We can get past this, there has to be a way we can work past this? I can't imagine my life without you." His voice was laced with panic and her heart clenched.
She wanted to believe his words more than anything in the world. "I can't stop imagining you with her. I can't stop wondering why I wasn't good enough--" Her voice broke, "I can't get past this. I can't pretend it never happened. This is it . . ." She trailed off not wanting to say the words, not wanting to give up. With what strength she had left she forced them out, "Were over."
Ugh, almost a year late (or maybe it's been a year?) but I really hope this was worth the wait!
If it makes you feel any better the only reason this took so long is that, you're an amazing writer and I was intimidated :)
I thought both these songs fit the story well and wasn't sure which to pick. I think Blackout is great for the end and Go to War was good for the fight.