OKAY FINE! MAYBE IT IS SOMETHING! AND I'M BOTHERED!
Hyunjin and I have been..... exclusive? I guess? for 2 months now and at the start it was amazing. I finally got the guy of my dreams but lately I've been noticing that he hasn't really hung out with me and he's been sleeping in other people's rooms too. Not that I mind, because were together 24/7 because of practice and recording but, I don't know.... It's starting to bother me.
Every time I try to bring it up though, he rushes out saying he's hanging out with someone. Maybe he's just nervous? Is it something I did? I don't know, but with the comeback set for next month, I have to focus on improving.
"Seriously Felix, it's like you don't have a boyfriend!" Jisung says from behind me.
I turn around and I see him walk towards me. I wave hi and he gives me a small smile back.
"I don't have a boyfriend" I state nonchalantly
"Pfffft, alright princess" He replies with a shit ton of sarcasm in his voice.
"Why are you here?" I ask him
"You only come here when you have a problem, that's why I'm here and the fact that you're here and it's still bright, means it's a big problem" Jisung explains and I give him a small round of applause and he does a cute bow.
Once Jisung reaches me, he hugs me tightly and we turn and lean against the railing of the roof. I close my eyes and feel the wind hitting my face softly, I try to relax but my heart still hurts.
"So, what is it this time?" Jisung asks me and I sigh loudly
"I don't even know. Last timeI knew it was because of him but now I don't even know anymore," I tell and I see him nodding through my peripheral view.
"Maybe it's still him, and this time this pain is like.... actual pain."
"What do you mean?" I turn to ask him and I see he's still looking out at the view
"You don't need to pretend you don't see it, Felix. He's not paying attention to you, he's even flirting with other people in front of you face" He says as he turns to look me in the eyes.
"Yeah, but it's for the fans" I tell him
"Yeah okay if you say so....I'll just be in my room if you start crying" He says jokingly
"IM NOT A CRY BABY!" I whine to him, doe she really think I cry that much?
"You are Lee Felix, accept it!" He says mocking the announcer voice
"NEVER!!!" I scream and we both end up laughing because.... we're funny.
As soon as we both finish laughing, we both go back to looking at the horizon and we let the comfort of silence surround us as the sun starts setting and the stars start coming out.
"Don't settle for less, Felix. You deserve more than that" He says and I just hum in acknowledgement.
Eventually we start walking back to the dorm. While on the way back, Jisung starts talking about how he and Minho are finally going steady and he feels like it will be a great stupid ass relationship, but still great. I'm glad my soulmate is happy.
Once we get back to the dorm, Jisung hugs me tightly then runs to his room because he knows Minho is waiting for him there. I make myself a small sandwich in the kitchen then head to my room and when I enter the room I'm surprised to see Hyunjin on my bed.
He sees me and he smiles to brightly that my heart starts beating harder. He stands up and kisses me and I'm just.... shocked. Hyunjin pulls away from the kiss and looks at me confused.
"Are you okay?" He asks wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Yeah, I'm just shocked because you're here." I tell him and he just giggles
"What? is it weird to see your own boyfriend?" He says
"Boyfriend?" That word has been thrown around so much today???
"We are together now, right?" He asked looking straight in to my eyes and I just feel myself blush SO HARD..
"Oh.... okay" IS THAT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO REPLY WHEN SOMEONE ASKS IF YOU'RE TOGETHER? HEEEEEELLLLPPPP!!
"You sound like you didn't know" He asks with a small smile on his face.
"I actually didn't know" I tell him seriously and he tilts his head with confusion but soon shakes it off and pulls me closer to him
"Well, now you know that you're all mine!" He says as he slowly leans in to kiss me but I jerk my head back a little bit and look him in the eyes seriously.
"Are you all mine?" I ask and he smiles that smile that made me FUCKING LOVE HIM.
"All yours" He says and I genuinely smile at this. Maybe this is what I needed to hear.
We kiss and the rest is history.
NO WE DID NOT DO THE SEX! but let's just say things went well from there. Hyunjin would still be out and about with the other boys but he made more time for me and I appreciated it a lot. We didn't really tell anyone because we both wanted to focus on the comeback but we had our sweet little moments together and time went by so fast, we already came back with "My Pace".
There would be times Hyunjin gets close to one of the boys but I just have to understand that it's all for the fans.
Just like right now....
We're just finished one of our pre-recorded performances for our comeback and he's being all cuddly with Changbin. The pain in my chest is starting to grow again but, I just have to understand.
As soon as we get off stage, I carefully pull Hyunjin to a corner so were alone.
"What? What's up?" He asks as he crosses his arms
"Weren't you being a little too close to Changbin-hyung?" I ask him shyly because we've had this conversation too many times.
"Felix, we talked about this! It's all for the fans and there's nothing to worry about" He says and I can hear a little bit of annoyance in his tone so I just look down and I have to accept it because he's probably right.
"Yeah, sorry" I stay as I keep my head low but he grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me in to a hug, I just bury my face in to his chest.
"Nothing to worry about, okay?" He says and I nod then he lets go and runs off to wherever he went.
I just let out a heavy sigh and I suddenly feel the presence of someone else nearby and I know exactly who it is.
"You can come out, Jisung-cci" I say and I can hear him groan from behind the wall
"UGH! How'd you know I was there?" He asks as he leans against the wall beside me
"Super soulmate powers, duh?" I tell him and he just agrees.
"It's nothing" I tell him and I can ALREADY FEEL HIM ROLLING HIS EYES AT ME!
"Felix, I know you're supposed to be understanding but if it makes you feel bad then IT'S A VALID FE-" I cover his mouth because he's too noisy and someone might hear us talking about it. I slowly remove my hands and he continues.
"As I said, It's a valid feeling, not something that should be brushed off" He says in a whisper and I just sigh loudly.
I've been sighing so much lately...... I should be called PSY....AHAHHAHAHAH I'm so funny. I suddenly feel Jisung hit me in the head.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" I yell Loudly while holding my head
"STOP LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN JOKE" He yells back
"How did you kn-"
"SuPEr SoULmaTe PoWErs" He says with jazz hands and I just roll my eyes while he starts laughing.
I leave him in that corner and continue with MY DAY. As promoting went on, we had recordings, live shows and not we're already in our first fan signing event. It's always great to meet the fans. I try to keep my focus on the fans but suddenly I heard everyone cheering.
I turn and I see Hyunjin and Jeongin kiss.
They were playing the pepper game and it was by accident but it didn't mean it doesn't hurt. Jeongin looks straight at me with shock and shakes his head as if he was saying sorry but Hyunjin was just laughing while trying to get the other members to play with him.
What the fuck.
_____________________________
WHUUUUTTT??? ANOTHER UPDATE???? WTFFFFFFFF
This is my SORRY FOR BEING GONE SO LONG! I SHALL FEED U WITH MY HYUNLIX ANGST!
I love u all, hope u all have good days, u all deserve it