My dad is back in jail again we leave for tour in 3 hours its 4:00 am and I cant sleep. I am packed for tour we leave at 7:00 am and I haven't slept at all the boys are here but asleep and brendon is asleep in his room. The house is silent and I'm frozen in fear. My dads in jail but he found where I was and he knows where Brendons house is. I think my dad should get life after what he did to me back in his house and then today. I never want to see him again I start to cry I want Brendon. I lay in bed wanting to sleep so bad but my body just wont let me maybe it will be easier on the bus. I throw together some last minute I guess carry on stuff. I get my headphones and some other things by this time it's 6:00 am. I take a quick shower and get dressed in some black leggings with a comfortable long sleeve panic! shirt and a black beanie shortly after I sit on my bed and look at my phone Brendon walks in. " you look tired how much sleep did you get" brendon said "none"as I say that brendon sighs " I know last night was scary but it's ok I'm hear to protect you" I say "I love you" "I love you to the boys are staring to get ready and we will call you down when it's time to leave if your not hungry now we can eat later but you will be eatting and on the bus we can set up your online school and social media now that the fans know about you". As he finishes speaking he walks out of my room and I roll my eyes still wanting to sleep but still not being able to. I walk downstairs to a ready but extremely tired Patrick "morning sunshine" I say as he grunts. Brendon walks in "everyone's setting up in the bus and we didnt get the mail yesterday." He looks at Patrick "go set up Patrick" Patrick nods his head and walks outside. "Guess what came in the mail yesterday" I stand in fear as a small tear drops from my eye I knew exactly what it was. "A-Are you going to open it" I say with fear " yeah" he looks away "yeah I thought I would" he says "o-ok when" I ask "uh I dont know now" "ok I'll a I'll go.... get ready" I say as I walk out to the bus tears filling my eyes. "What's wrong Andy asks "boys can all of you can you come here for a second" Brendon yells so the boys can here him. I walk into the bus tears pouring out making a river.
Brendons POV
I found the letters abby wrote I need to read them "boys" I yell because there are letters to them to. "Why is abby crying brendon" Josh asks "because we will all be crying soon".
Abby's POV
I wrote 7 different letters one for brendon, zack, dallon, Spencer, my dad, alex. I wrote another one to the fall out boy group as a whole and addressed all but alex's and my dad's to brendons house.
Brendons note
"Dear brendon
Im sorry to put you though this I care so much about you but I will cause you pain either way so I will just end the pain now. Know that you gave me what I have always wanted even if it was just for a little bit. You actually gave a shit so thank you so much and i'm so sorry I had to go like this. There are letters upstairs in my room with the words " dear adopted me" on it you can read those just know that you made it better. Just forget about me I'm not really anything to cry over I love you I am the angel watching over you forever goodbye dad."
Brendons POV
"Goodbye dad" tears fill my eyes I can't lose her not now not ever. Her dad almost took her away from me I cant let that happen that will never happen.
Zacks note
"Dear Zack
I may not have know you for very long but thank you for always protecting brendon and I know if we had more time together you would have done the same thing for me. Thank you for being the hard ass that we need sometimes and please keep my family safe."
Zack POV
She would be gone this would be her last words to me and I have been protecting her and brendon and I will never stop.
Dallons note
"Dear Dallon
I have not know you for very long but you have always been there for me. The first time we meet I was having a panic attack. You have always tried to protect me like when you asked if I had a boyfriend. Now that I'm gone please dont be sad I love all of you guys and you guys gave me the life I wanted even if it was short. I just dont want to hurt you anymore. Please dont cry and just forget about me I'll be watching over you always."
Dallons POV
She cared for me and knows I care for her she was scared she would hurt us when we do everything to try not to hurt her tears start to form in both me and brendons eyes.
Spencer's note
"Dear Spencer
I know we had very little time together but I still was impacted by you so much please always take care of brendon he will probably need you after this but follow your heart and do what you want to do that's what you taught me in the short time I had so goodbye."
Spencer POV
She wanted me to listen to what I taught her I just want to hug her.
FOB NOTE
Dear fall out boy
You guys have stopped me from killing myself a few times but this time it was just to strong thanks for always making me laugh and the first time I met your guys I scared the crap out of you in the pool thank you for all you have done for my even though you dont know most of it please keep the eyes dry i'm nothing to cry over and in a year or so you'll forget about me goodbye and I will be watching over you goodbye.
Pete POV
We all start to tear up it almost feels like she's gone we will always be here for her.
Abby's POV
I'm in the bus waiting for the boys to come out those letters were a mistake but they are something I can't undo but now alex and my dad will get theirs soon. Brendon walks out and onto the bus I am seated looking down in my bunk when brendon sits next to me. "Where are the notes" brendon says referring to the dear adopted me notes "in my bag" I say my head still down. "Bring any razors" he says "no" I say looking up "just the one I use to shave with" "ok". Dallon walks in and crouches down and hugs me tears in his eyes "im ok dallon" he looks at me and smiles. "Ok little urie pick your bunk" I pick the middle one on the right side I don't know why. One by one the boys come in and set up their area on the bus by this time it's 7:00 am so we hit the road and I fall asleep after 4 minutes.
Brendon POV
Shit. Abby lays asleep on the bus and it feels like I've lost her. A small tear drips out of my eye when I remember that shes right here . She is real and still alive. Shes ok my baby is ok. "Where do you want food at" dallon says to me because everyone else is asleep. "I don't care do you just want to find a donut shop" "sure". We are going to Minneapolis which is 28 hours from L.A "how about we stop like 2 hours from now" I ask/tell dallon "deal".
Abby POV
Ever since brendon adopted me I have had really bad nightmares but they have been worse since alex. I finally fall asleep about 4 minutes into the bus ride but I know what's going to happen. It starts off good im with brendon and we are on a cliff looking and I felt safe. The water was beautiful and the scenery was magical. Alex and my dad and mrs. come out "brendon" I say terrified "what did you really think I care about you oh sweetie it's really anything but". Brendon pushed me off the cliff and in slow motion I fall into the water. As I fall I think about how I was so stupid and in slow motion I see brendon smirk. I feel the water hit my back and consume my whole body. I dont feel pain and I dont need to breath but I cant move I lay there sinking and I cant do anything. I hit a small cliff underwater and lay there unable to do anything. A hand reaches out and grabs me. The hand pulls me up to the surface. The hand is connected to a boy I cant make out the boys face but he saved me. Suddenly Brendon and everyone else grabs him and starts to kill him. Then chains grab my arms and I have to stay there not able to save my savior. I wake up screaming "N-" I am cut off by me hitting my head on the bunk above me "yep I am definitely on a bus" Brendon chuckles and dallon dies of laughter. "Where are we" I ask "almost at are 2 hour mark are you hungry" brendon asks "yeah" I say having not eaten in 3 days. "Ok donuts sound good" I nod my head yes and soon after that we stop at this little donut place and get 3 dozen for us all to share. The fall out boy gang, 21 pilots, and panic! we all destroyed the donuts.
Time skip
We finally get to Minneapolis and I still can't sleep ever since my dream this morning its 2:30 a.m I just want to sleep everyone else is but I cant. I cant stop thinking about my savior. Brendon is my savior but this one was different this boy, when he held me I felt safe like I do with brendon but it was different I cant even describe it. I loved it. I was to scared to go to sleep so I quietly get off my bed and go to the kitchen area and make coffee by the time I drink the coffee and am wide awake it is 3:45 a.m. I hear rustling above me its brendon " I know your not really asleep abby why are you up and drinking coffee" he hopes out of bed and grabs my hand we are stopped so he takes me outside so we dont wake anyone up. "Ok explain now how long have you been awake" he asks "since I woke up this morning" I sigh. "Why" he asks "its nothing just go back to bed" I say standing up and turning away "abby it is something" brendon grabs my arm. "I have just been having nightmares I'm fine I'll sleep" I promise brendon and say "now go back to bed and we can get online school done tommorow" he smiles and we go inside.
Awake from fear and coffee I stay awake on my phone before I know it, its 9:00. "Did you get any sleep" brendon asks "nope can we go to the mall today" I ask "only if you get your school work done" brendon says as he grabs my computer. We have a show tomorrow so I need a dress I'm pretty sure the boys are going to make me perform. Brendon hands me the computer. I start to work on my school work and brendon takes my phone it is a iPhone 5 and he throws it away. "BRENDON" I yell "what" he says "I HAD TO PAY FOR THAT WITH MY OWN MONEY THATS ALL I HAD" I scream "what you think I'm that mean" he takes out a Samsung Galaxy Note9 "OH WOW DAD". Brendon smiles and before I can take it he downloads Instagram as he sets it up. While he does that I finish school. "Can we go to the mall now" I say begging "are you done" he asks "yeah" I say. "Ok come on we can walk to it from where we are stopped" I shoot up and grab my jacket it is only 36° outside the fans know about me now so we have sunglasses I throw over my hoodie and we start walking and brendon holds me in a half hug to keep me warm. "You ready for the show tonight" I roll my eyes " what are you going to" "well you are going to sing any song you want" I stop walking "Brendon" "what I'm giving you the choice of what song". "Meet me at Starbucks in 20 minutes" he says as he hands me some cash I dont look to see how much and walk away I would have been fine with a dollar. I go to a dress shop first because I need some I get 3 the first on is what I'm going to wear tonight. It is a red dress with lace and off the shoulders.
The second dress is a blue kinda long sleeve dress with pockets with a blue bow on the left shoulder.
The last dress I picked was off the shoulder black up top and pink at the bottom with black butterflies on the bottom.
I then make my way over to hot topic because you can't go to the mall without going to hot topic. Brendon gave me $200 and after the dresses I had $150 left that was way more than I needed. I really dont need anything but Brendon brought me to the mall and gave me $200. This life is more than I can ask for. I buy some band shirts and this one dress that is black, has long lace sleeves, and fluffs at the bottom.
The last store I went to was a shoe store I got some wedges, some black high heel boots, and some black combate boots. On my way back to Brendon I saw alex's brother. I tried to walk away but he caught up to me "abby can I talk to you" "what's up" I ask kinda scared. "Why the hell did put my brother in jail" he kinda yells "Because he tried to fucking kill me". He pushes me and I fall to the ground with my bags. I close my eyes prepared to get beat to death. "What the fuck" an unfamiliar voice yells I open my eyes to see a face that I have never seen before but it feels safe. He pushes Alex's brother and he backs off and runs away I start to get my clothes that feel on the floor when he started to help me. "Are you ok" he asked "yeah yeah I'm fine thank you" I say stuttering slightly we stare at each other for what feels like an life time. There was something about him that was just so familiar it felt safe. "Well uh if he ever bothers you again or not just uh call me" "yeah o-ok" I say as we both turn to walk away. A black eye is already starting to form on my face when I walk up to Brendon. "Abby what the hell happened to you" "can I yell you on the way to the car" I say because fans are starting to notice "ok but what are you going to do about the show tonight" he asks "people might think I did that" that triggers me for some reason " ok so I see it really is just about the fame for you" I start to walk off and Brendon stops me "can we just talk about this in the car" he says and we walk to the car. "Abby you know that's not why I adopted you" "do you want to know something" I ask. " I remember hating myself at the age 7 journals filled to the brim with criticisms. By 8 I had enough pages to stitch them in two wings to fly close enough to the Sun to see my tears turn to steam. Felt the wax burn on my shoulders and mold too thick skin. I was 9 when I wanted to die 13 when I found a solution I figured if I could cut my legs enough gravity would let me go. When it didn't I tied a pillowcase around my neck twisting like the rope swings I knew so well from childhood. Heard my heartbeat pound in my ears like a warning drum, then fade. I almost convinced myself I had done it. When I started writing I smeared my blood on every page to remind myself that everything beautiful has a consequence. I hope to stall the clouding long enough to give myself to the craft and let myself go. So trust me when I say that you adopting me was the best thing that could ever happen to me. So I need to know and I need to trust that you care and I'm sorry that after all I've been through I have a hard time trusting anyone". I say tears filling my eyes the car ride home was mostly silent that day brendon kept trying to talk but it's like he is having a conversation with his self. My phone continues to blow up with Instagram and Twitter but I dont pay attention to it. What a great way to start off tour "B I'm sorry" I speak carefully "is that how you really feel" he says tears filling his eyes but his voice not shaking "I-I dont know" brendon pulls the car over "if I wanted you for the fame why would I keep you secret for so long why would I fight for you from you dad why would I try to stop you every time you take a blade to your skin abby I cant fucking lose you ever ok" he says as he pulls me into a half hug because we are in the car. Brendon walks into the bus as I get my bags "do we have ice" I hear him ask "yeah in the freezer why" I hear Tyler say he nods his head as I walk into the bus "whoa what the hell happened to her" Spencer says. I sit down on the couch and start to text the mystery boy. "Hey I never got your name" I send "yeah abby that's a good question what did happen" Brendon asks handing me the ice "well Alex's brother saw me and was pissed that he was in jail so he punched and pushed me".
Time skip 30 minutes later
"Sorry im in the car and I feel asleep it's Noah btw" Noah sent me a text finally it feels like it took forever. I have been getting ready for the past 20 minutes but most of the time is me trying to cover the black eye. I finally got it covered and I'm ready I'm not a girly girl so it doesn't take me hours to get ready. All the boys are in the venue and so I walk out of the bathroom and into the venue unnoticed I find the dressing room for panic and all the boys including fall out boy were in 21 pilots room. I really didnt want to party because of the nerves so I just stayed in the panic dressing room and texted Noah "do you know who I am" I asked "yeah....yeah I do you are abby urie adopted daughter of brendon urie but that doesn't stop me from liking you for who you are and not who your dad is. I liked you before I saw who your dad was so I guess I'm kinda asking you even though we just met will you be my girlfriend?" I am shocked "wait where do you live" I ask "L.A ironically me and my brother are actually here for the concert are dads pretty cool so he let us go but my mom doesn't know" "well then I guess I'm saying yes" in about 2 minutes I went from not wanting to move to being so happy because of my boyfriend. "I'll text you later" he sends "ok". I lay on the couch and plug in my headphones I am singing part of the ballad of mona lisa starting at the second verse. I close my eyes and listen to it over and over again and end up falling asleep. I wake right before Brendon walks in laughing "looks like your having a good time" I say "always, wow you look stunningly beautiful. Are you ready we go on stage in 15 minutes" "ok is my eye covered" I ask "yeah it's fine". I grab my phone and we walk to underneath the stage area where brendon will pop up after he does that we will go to the side of the stage. I send a text to Noah "hope you like the concert" I put my phone in my pocket and hang out with brendon. "I love you" I slowly say like it might be the last time "I love you to" brendon slowly says as he steps on the platform that will raise him up. The intro to fuck a silver lining comes on and it shoots him in the air. A tear drips out of my eye I dont know why but I cant stop it I also can't stop thinking about noah but everything is ok. At least for now.
Hey guys this book is crap I'm sorry please leave comments on what will make it better.