I don't understand how someone as beautiful and compassionate as Kate, could feel so much pain. How did she not break? How did she have the strength to stop doing what made everything okay?
I had so many questions but my lips and tongue wouldn't listen to my brain.
"You should probably get home soon, get a good nights sleep." Kate sleepily dragged out her words until she ended with a yawn.
Her head had somehow ended up on my shoulder and her eye lids were struggling to keep from closing.
I think I might...
"On second thought...you should... just... stay." On the last word her eyes finally gave up their fight and her breathing fell into the rhythm of a peaceful dream.
I think I might...love her. I know I haven't known her long, but after 300 years every moment feels like a lifetime.
"Good night Kate." I whispered into her soft hair.
Suddenly my chest began to feel as if a thousand pounds were resting on it.
I gently laid her back and placed the covers just under her chin. I could feel her warm, sleeping breaths against my cold shaky hands.
How could I let myself fall for her? I know it's impossible; we live in two different worlds. She'll grow up, fall in love with someone who makes her happy, and eventually, she'll die. I don't get to have any of that, not even the sweet relief of death. No, my duty is to protect the children, and if I fell in love with Kate I would only hurt her.
I gripped my staff with all the grief in my iced over heart. She deserved someone who could give her more.
I turned my eyes to the window to see the midnight blue sky. I want to know what death is like, I want to see my family, and to be able to let myself fall in love.
No matter how hard I try, these dark thoughts are always lurking in the back of my mind. It's as if they're constantly waiting for the right moment to sink their claws into me.
Kate stirred behind me, dragging me back to reality.
I shifted my gaze to make sure she was still sound asleep, and then made my way to her window.
I opened it and crouched on the edge.
I wonder if death is possible for me. What happened to Sandy when he was beaten by Pitch? Did he go to the heaven I've heard so much about, or just cease to exist? So many questions with no answers.
Maybe I could try to kill myself as an experiment?
The thought of death at my own hand didn't scare me at all., but the thought of one of my friends dying makes my heart ache. How could life mean so little and so much to me at the same time?
I didn't understand any of the thoughts swirling around my stupid head right now, I just knew I wanted it to stop. It felt like my life was a series of unanswered questions.
Taking another look at Kate's sleeping form I whispered, "goodnight, Kate Alder."
My lungs stole a deep breath in a futile effort to keep me alive, and my legs leapt from the window not caring if the wind caught me or not.
* * * *
Though I knew the answers I needed weren't going to be there, I went back to the place Pitch and I fought.
I thought back to everything that happened that day. Pitch and I facing off, getting thrown into that pit, and my staff being broken. None of it added up. What did Manny mean when he showed me that day?
Maybe Baby Tooth would know...
Wait... Baby tooth... The memories...
"Is that what you meant?" I asked as I looked up to Manny.
The moon seemed the glow brighter, as if smiling upon my realization.
I scrambled to my feet with staff in hand.
"Thank you Manny!" I shouted into the night sky.
I flew with newfound determination to Tooth Palace. This is it. I'm giving life one last chance.
A/N: Sorry this took so long I had a lot going on and writers block. Thank you so much for your patience<3 Comment anything you think would make this story better :) Also should I start making short chapters like this instead of long ones? It'll take less time to update, but it's up to you guys!