when i walk
to the park i notice the little things
like pennies and cigs in the crevasses of sidewalks
and the way it feels to walk in the middle of the street
i notice that way people hold hands
and i notice how everyone says the f word differently
that was williams favorite word
but you already knew that
whenever william saw a penny
he would pick it up and slip it in my pocket
william only liked camel cigs
he said when he held onto a camel cig
he felt like it belonged
the other brands did nothing
they were unfamiliar to his fingers
whenever we walked around
william insisted that we walked in the street
because the sidewalk was too mainstream
so we would walk in the middle
trying to be reckless
trying to act like badasses
but i wasn't
but william was
he would lift up his arms and spin a little
while i would put my hands on my hips
and laugh while acting like the street is my catwalk
whenever william would try to hold my hand
his fingers would shake and he would look at a different couple
to see if he's holding my hand right
william always says i never say the f word right
and i would laugh
and try to say it again and again
until the word got at all tangled up
i don't want to let go of these memories
and i hope william still remembers all of our moments together
because i love him