this is us

memories

when i walk

to the park i notice the little things

like pennies and cigs in the crevasses of sidewalks

and the way it feels to walk in the middle of the street

i notice that way people hold hands

and i notice how everyone says the f word differently

that was williams favorite word

but you already knew that

whenever william saw a penny

he would pick it up and slip it in my pocket

william only liked camel cigs

he said when he held onto a camel cig

he felt like it belonged

the other brands did nothing

they were unfamiliar to his fingers

whenever we walked around

william insisted that we walked in the street

because the sidewalk was too mainstream

so we would walk in the middle

trying to be reckless

trying to act like badasses

but i wasn't

but william was

he would lift up his arms and spin a little

while i would put my hands on my hips

and laugh while acting like the street is my catwalk

whenever william would try to hold my hand

his fingers would shake and he would look at a different couple

to see if he's holding my hand right

william always says i never say the f word right

and i would laugh

and try to say it again and again

until the word got at all tangled up

i don't want to let go of these memories

and i hope william still remembers all of our moments together

because i love him