Suddenly, the same boar that threw Ganju off its back charged from behind the confused Ichigo. It merely missed him an inch as it flew above him and landed harshly, creating a force that sent Ganju flying backwards. "Nice hit, Bonnie-chan." he praised. "But we don't have time today. Hurry up and gimme a ride!" A spark appeared in the boar's eye as it was annoyed at its master. And the thing he knew, it rammed into him, sending him flying up before landing harshly on its back as it ran off.
"Hold it!" called Ichigo. "You're running away?!"
"The hell I am!" yelled Ganju as the boar ran further away. "You dandelion! I'll settle the score with you tomorrow, count on it! Until then, wait there quietly! Don't turn into a see and float away to escape! Let's go, guys!"
"Don't be ridiculous! That's my-" Ichigo was cut off as the boars ran past him, following behind Bonnie.
"He's gone." said Orihime.
Uryu pushed up his glasses and placed a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "That sucks." he said. "I don't know what to say."
Ichigo's eye twitched before yelling, "GODDAMMIT! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!"
The next morning, the team were getting ready to leave to look for Shiba Kuukaku, the one that Asa and Yoruichi thought could help them in their journey. While Sado was caught looking at Orihime's drawing of her guesses on what Shiba Kuukaku looked like, Uryu went back in to look for their friend, who refused to leave. "What?!" shouted Uryu. "You're not going?!"
"I ain't 'not going'." he corrected stubbornly. "I said. 'Go ahead without me.' I'll go after I settle things here with that bitch-ass from yesterday."
"What are you talking about?!" asked Uryu, who was annoyed at his attitude. "Quit jerking around and come on!" He tried to drag the orange haired boy by his Shihakushou but he didn't budge.
"I don't wanna!" yelled Ichigo as he held the floor like his life depended on it. "He'll think I run away!"
"Let him think it!" argued Uryu.
"Hey, hey." called Orihime from the door. "Aren't we leaving yet?"
"Inoue-san, would you help me peel this idiot off the floor?" he asked.
"Who you calling 'idiot'?!" asked Ichigo angrily. "When he comes, I'll beat 'im quick then catch up to you, so go ahe-"
SCRATCH
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ichigo let out a cry when Yoruichi left three scratches across his face, causing him to lay on the tatami floor in pain.
"Has so much blood rushed to your head that you've forgotten our original goal?" scolded the latter as Asa walked out of the room once she was ready. "Damn fool. Don't tell me you've forgotten Rukia's life depends on our journey. We don't have time for a chest-thumping contest between you and that guy. If you understand, then get ready and move out." Ichigo then realised his mistake as he sat up and stared at the floor with a solemn expression.
After bidding the Chief farewell, Yoruichi and Asa led the group out into the countryside where the old man told them of Shiba Kuukaku's whereabouts. "Hey." called Ichigo. "It looks like we've come a long way from the village. Is this really the right way? Hey!"
"Be quiet!" scolded Uryu, turning around to show him and the rest a drawn map. "According to the map the elder gave us, it's definitely around here. If you've got complaints, why don't you walk up front?"
"Well, I'm not complaining, just..." trailed off Ichigo.
"Shiba Kuukaku-san must live out here because he wants to keep his identity secret." assumed Orihime.
"Sorry, but no." corrected Yoruichi. "It's just the fool's nature to prefer places like this." It then turned around and continued to follow Asa. "Don't worry. That rolling stone may change addresses like changing underwear, but the house, at least, always looks the same. If Asa-chan and I see it, we'll recognize it instantly."
"Instantly, huh...?" said Ichigo with a sweat drop.
"Yes, yes, instantly." They continued walking until Asa and Yoruichi stopped. "Oh, there it is. That's it."
"Th-" stammered Ichigo as he stared ahead with shock.
"That's..." trailed off Uryu.
"Whoa, that's cool!" said Orihime with awe.
It was a house with two giant stone arms holding a banner that read "SHIBA KUUKAKU" and a huge chimney behind them. "See?" said Asa. "Instantly recognisable, no?"
"Whether it's instantly recognizable or not isn't the problem!" said Ichigo.
"The idea that he likes places with no other people is probably a lie, too!" added Uryu. "They just won't let him live in town because he builds houses like that!"
"That's gotta be the reason!" added Ichigo.
"Hm..." hummed Yoruichi. "So this time, it's a person's arms holding the banner. Quite well done. Don't you think, Asa-chan?" The said woman nodded as a response.
'Every time...' trailed off Ichigo.
'...the theme is different?!' continued Uryu.
"Come on, let's go." said Asa.
"Okay!" responded Orihime excitedly as she followed the two.
"Hm." responded Sado, following as well.
'We're about to enter that sad excuse for a house?!' asked Uryu inwardly.
'I don't want anyone to see me going into that house!' thought Ichigo.
"What's wrong?" asked Yoruichi. "Hurry up!"
"...Okay..." they said with sweat drops on the back of their heads.
Ichigo took a few steps forward and stopped. "Hey, Ishida!" he called. "I understand you not wanting to go, but hurry up!"
"What's with that?!" asked the said boy as he and the group continued walking. He then looked up at the chimney. 'What's with that chimney?' he thought. 'It seems way too large for the house. It looks like the end is capped. What in the...'
"HALT!"
Everyone stopped at the voices in sync and Ichigo gripped on the hilt to be on guard. On the stone arms, each of them had guards standing on it. Each of them wore a red hat with a gold trim and white tassel on top and a light blue scarf tied at the front by a red fastener with gold highlights. One of them wore a yellow top and had a broad face and split chin, while the other wore a white one and had a long face and normal chin. "Who are you infidels?!" asked the one on the left.
"What strange garb you wear!" said the other. "And I see two of you are Shinigami!" The two jumped down and landed in front of them.
"Suspicious strangers..." they said in unison.
The one in yellow shirt began, "I, Koganehiko and..."
"I, Shiroganehiko..." continued the one in white shirt.
"...shall never let you pass!" they said in unison.
"Begone!" said Shiroganehiko.
"Otherwise, you shall end up dying here!" said Koganehiko.
Ichigo clicked his tongue. "More gatekeepers?" he asked. "Man, Soul Society's full of hassle."
Yoruichi and Asa then took a step forward. The two guards looked closely at them before they were taken by surprise. "YORUICHI-DONO!" they gasped. "ASA-DONO!"
Without wasting time, Koganehiko led the them into the Shiba household while Shiroganehiko was on guard outside. "Downstairs as soon as you enter?" questioned Uryu, who was even more surprised by the house, as they walked down the stairs. "This house is one weird thing after another."
"I wonder how you get to the upper floors." said Orihime, looking around.
"Oh dear, we were so rude to you." apologized Koganehiko. "We had no idea you were Yoruichi-dono and Asa-dono's companions. Please forgive our insolence."
'We ain't no companions.' thought Ichigo.
"It's fine." assured Asa with a smile. "We're partly to blame for not contacting you beforehand."
"As you wish." said the guard. "You're so great, and so thoughtful." They arrived at a hallway and he stood in front of a door. "Please wait here a moment." He then heard soft knocks from inside. "Y-Yes, Master! Yes, right away, Kuukaku-sama." He slid open the door to reveal a curvaceous, youthful-looking woman who had green eyes and bandages worn over her long messy black hair that parted down in half at the small of her back. She wore a white skirt and red robe that exposed her large breasts. She was missing her right arm, which was replaced by a prosthetic one, and had a tattoo on her left arm. She also wore bandages around her right shoulder and both ankles. She was sitting on some cushions on the tatami mat while smoking her pipe.
"Yo." greeted Kuukaku with a grin as she watched Yoruichi and Asa walk towards the room. "Long time no see, Yoruichi. And, my! You've grown a lot prettier over the years, Asa." The latter only smiled at her shyly as a blush tinted her cheeks.
"K-Kuukaku's a..." trailed off Ichigo.
"...woman?!" continued the other three.
"No one said she was a man." deadpanned the cat.
Kuukaku looked up at the group with a slight annoyed expression. "What's with the kids?" she asked.
Yoruichi and Asa sat on the tatami mat across her. "Actually, Kuukaku, we've come today to ask a favour." began the cat.
"The both of you generally do when you come here." noted Kuukaku. "Is it trouble?"
"Probably." replied Asa, nodding slightly.
Kuukaku smirked. "Long time since we've talked like this, too. Okay. Let's hear it. I love trouble." The group entered the room and sat behind the two as they explained their reason for coming to Soul Society, and why they had came to her. "I see. I think get the situation." She began to smoke a pipe. "A'right. I accept."
Asa's eyes widened with surprise, for she wasn't expecting Kuukaku to accept the offer easily. "Really?"
"Yeah." she responded. "And if Urahara got his teeth in this, too, I couldn't say no if I wanted to." She then stood up from the cushions and stood across them. "One thing, though. I trust you two, but that doesn't mean I trust those kids. Among other things, as insurance, I'm gonna stick one of my minions with you."
"Minion?" repeated Ichigo, confused.
"Yeah." she replied. "Well, I call him a minion, but it's my little brother. He's still a useless brat, though." She walked towards a different door that was in the room. "Hey, ready?"
"U-Uh huh, wait a sec." said a voice from inside.
"I'm opening it, be on your best behaviour!" she warned.
"G-Gotcha!" She slid open the door to reveal a familiar man bowing to them. "A pleasure to meet you. I am called Shiba Ganju. Please think of me if you need anything." Except for Kuukaku, everyone froze on the spot the moment the man looked up. But no one was as surprised as Ichigo and Ganju themselves, who immediately stood up and screamed as they pointed at each other.
"What?" questioned Kuukaku while looking at the two with a confused expression. "You two know each other?"
Instead of replying her, Ichigo and Ganju leaped up and charged at each other. They continued their fight from last night while the rest watched silently. The two broke several doors without raising Kuukaku's ire until her pipe was knocked out of her hands. As if that wasn't enough, she watched her pipe laying on the floor before someone stepped on it, shattering it. "You bastards..." She suddenly used a Kidou to blast the two apart and end their conflict, while simultaneously causing severe structural damage to her house.
The rest managed to get out of the house before they were caught in the attack. "That's a little drastic to just stop the fight..." commented Uryu with sweat drops on his face.
"I think I understand why she moves so often." added Sado with the same reaction as him.
"They have it rough..." trailed off Orihime.
"That's Kuukaku-san for you..." sighed Asa as they went back inside the house to see Kuukaku lecturing the two while beating Ganju up.
"What the hell's wrong with you two?!" she yelled. "You start beatin' each other the second you meet?! That's not safe! You jacked the house up! Look! Look!"
"But Onee-chan..." defended Ganju weakly.
"Don't talk back!" she snapped before her glared landed on the group. "You got somethin' to say?!"
They immediately froze on the spot. "No, ma'am." was their reply.
'What just happened?' asked Ichigo, looking up. 'Both the brother and the sister...' He started to tremble in fear when Kuukaku stood in front of him and grabbed him by the hair.
"Hey, shithead!" she growled. "This is my house. If you've got a problem with how I do things, get the hell out."
Sweat drops started to drip from Ichigo's forehead. "I-I'm very sorry." he mumbled, fearing that she would beat the hell out of him.
Kuukaku's glare faltered, and a smile flickered across her face. "Okay." she said before letting him go. "As long as you understand."
As soon as she turned around and walked away, Ichigo landed on the ground and crawled towards Ganju. "Your sister's crazy." he whispered.
"Ain't she?" he agreed.
"Okay, everyone stand up!" ordered Kuukaku.
Koganehiko, Ganju and Ichigo leaped up. "Yes, ma'am!" they chimed.
"Koganehiko, you go outside and help Shiroganehiko prepare." she ordered.
"Understood!" he responded.
"The rest of you shut up and follow me!" She then led them through an underground path to a door labeled, "Authorised Personnel Only". "This is it. Open it, Ganju!"
"Yes, ma'am!" he responded before opening the door to reveal a dark room.
They all entered inside while the group stared at the big, tall chimney in the middle of the room that connected to the ceiling. "What the heck is that?" asked Ichigo.
"It's huge!" commented Uryu.
"This is how I'm gonna get you guys into Seireitei." explained Kuukaku. "From the sky, that is."
"THE SKY?!" repeated the two in unison with sweat drops on their heads as they began to feel nervous about the whole ordeal.
She grinned at them before giving them a proper introduction of herself. "My name is Shiba Kuukaku - Rukongai's Number One Fireworks Expert!"