I was awaken by the gleam of the morning sunlight seeping into the room. My tired eyes opened and slowly adjusted to the brightness. I sat up, holding the crumpled white sheet up to my chest to cover my body. A gentle headache was pulsing in my brain, but I didn't mind. My happiness cancelled out my hangover.
James sat up, too, wrapping an arm around me.
"Good morning," he said.
I smiled over at him. "Thank you for dinner."
"Thank you for last night."
I laughed, stepping out of bed to get dressed back into last night's outfit. James did the same.
"We should get breakfast somewhere before we leave," he suggested. "I saw a few nice cafes on the walk here yesterday. I'm sure it would help with the hangover, as well."
"That sounds brilliant. Somewhere with pancakes, preferably."
He grinned. "What is it with you and pancakes?"
"What? They're delicious!"
We found a small cafe nearby the hotel - a cafe which specialized in pancakes. We took a seat opposite one another, and sipped coffee with our breakfast. James took his coffee black as night. I couldn't take mine like that - so bitter, so dark.
"We should do this more often," I said.
He nodded his head. "Well, we can do it all the time once you graduate," he smiled, then reached over and took, with his fork, a large chunk out of my pancakes.
"Hey!" I laughed.
"What's mine is yours," he told me, smirking.
"What are we, married?"
James laughed at that. "No, not yet."
I grinned up at him. "Well, to be fair, you need to give me some of your pancakes."
"With pleasure, Miss Rousseau," he said, pushing his plate towards me. I took a forkful and tasted it. It was so much nicer than mine. I looked up at him, envious.
"Wanna swap?"
He chuckled. "We can share."
"That sounds like a reasonable compromise," I decided.
We shared each others pancakes and drank down our coffee, and left the small cafe soon after. As we walked down the narrow, tree lined streets, James took out a cigarette and lit it in his mouth. He inhaled deeply, then slowly let the smoke waft away from his lips, savoring it.
"That New Years resolution didn't last very long, did it?" I asked, with a smile.
He laughed, shaking his head. "No. But I didn't expect it to. I make a lot of empty promises, don't I?"
I merely smiled politely at his words, linking my arm in his and staring down at the massing ground.
"Are we going to pick up Leo?" I asked.
"Yep. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you again. He loves you, you know. Never shuts up about you. He thinks you're his mommy," he told me.
"So did Ben, for a little while," I admitted.
"Well, you basically raised him. So that makes sense."
I nodded my head slowly.
"You know," he began, then took another drag from his cigarette. "Growing up, I didn't really have a mother figure. My mom died at a very young age, unfortunately. I never got to know her. It was just me and my dad."
"I'm sorry, James," I said, brushing his arm, in an attempt to comfort him.
"It's fine," he said, and genuinely meaning it.
And before my mind could catch up with my mouth, I was asking questions I shouldn't have been asking.
"How's the whole thing with Erica going?"
James suddenly turned to face me. I knew, in that moment, that I had made a very bad mistake. Fear filled my veins and ran rampant throughout my body.
James shifted his arm away from mine. "I'd rather not talk about that," he muttered, looking away. "You know, all I ask is that I can have a nice day with you and spend time with my girlfriend without having to worry about all the shit I usually have to put up with," he suddenly snapped, dark, accusatory eyes glaring at me. "Is that too much to ask, Allison?"
I quickly shook my head. "Of course not. No. I - I'm sorry, sir."
He begrudgingly nodded his head, somewhat accepting my meagre apology.
We reached his car, and drove home in silence. All the way home, I cursed myself for ruining what had been an amazing day. Why did I bring it up? Why?
James dropped me off first, before going to get Leo. He bid me farewell with a final kiss, although it lacked warmth and only further served to remind me of the distance I had put between us, of the beautiful, perfect thing that I had ruined.
I stepped out of the car and made my way up to the house. I took out my house keys and unlocked the door. I entered the house, and just as I slammed the door shut behind me, I was greeted by a manic version of my mother.
"Allison!" she exclaimed, eyes wide and bloodshot. Her hair was an unruly mess. She grabbed me, pulling me into a frighteningly tight hug, crushing my internal organs with her grasp. "Allison, I'm so glad you're okay. Do you know how worried I was?" she asked, pulling back from her bone disintegrating hug. "I was up all night. God, I'm so happy you're here. I'm so happy you're safe. Where the hell were you?"
It occurred to me, in that moment, that I probably should have told my mother before I spent the night in a different town. It had, unfortunately, not occurred to me last night, when I drunkenly agreed with every word James had said.
"I - um - I was - well, I mean - I was at Georgia's, remember?" I stuttered. "I'm pretty sure I told you."
She frowned at me. "Allison, I called Georgia's house last night. You weren't there."
My stomach fell in dismay. Fuck. I was caught. Caught in my self constructed web of lies.
"Um, well - I was just staying with a friend," I said, as I moved past her.
"A friend? What friend?" I heard her ask. "Allison, were you with a boy?"
I glanced back at her. "No."
"Then who were you with?"
"That's - that's really none of your business."
She marched over towards me. "Allison, do you know what you put me through? We called the police! We called your school, your friends, everyone! Walter was out searching the streets for you all night long - God, what's wrong with you? Why wouldn't you answer your phone?"
"It was turned off," I muttered. "Sorry."
"You should be sorry!" she exclaimed, furious. "Now the very least you can do for me is tell me where in God's name you were last night. You might be eighteen years old, but I'm still your mother-"
And then something inside me snapped.
"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you've always been a pretty shit mother," I spat.
She raised her eyebrows at me, surprised - but there was no one more surprised than myself.
"Excuse me?" she asked, crossing her arms. "Allison, I don't know who you think you are - coming in here, telling me your whereabouts are none of your business. Don't turn this on me. I have done my best. I have-"
"YOU WERE NEVER THERE!" I screamed, anger bursting out of me. "You fucked off and left me all by myself to look after Ben! I was his mother, not you! I was A CHILD! It's not FAIR!"
I expected her to yell back, but instead, her eyes softened and she reached out towards me.
"Ally, what's gotten into you?" she asked, all anger disappearing from her eyes, and being replaced by fear. "Sweetheart, what's the matter?"
I shook her away from me. "Nothing," I said, feeling tears spring to my eyes.
She stared at me, completely unconvinced. "Allison, what happened to you?"
For a few moments I stared back. I couldn't answer her because I simply didn't know what to say. So, instead, I backed away from her, heading for the stairs.
"Um, I'm - I'm just tired," I said, turning away to wipe my eyes dry. I wandered up the stairs to my bedroom. Once the door was safely shut, I felt my body slide down its frame, collapsing onto the ground below.
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A/N: So... I don't know if you've noticed, but I made a new cover! I hope you like it.
PS: Thank you for reading :).