Chapter 6
LaMaya
I sat next to him tears pouring from my eyes! How can you love a person so much and still hate them? He is always telling me that he loves me and I believe him every time.
Every time we have sex without a condom just like now. He tells me not to worry and I believe it.
Every time he tells me I’m his girlfriend when in public he don’t claim me.
Every time he mentally and physically hurt me!
Every single time he do these things to me I continue to stay.
It’s a completely different story when we are in public because I don’t want anyone to know what I am going through with D’Andre so I just smile like everything is fine.
“Shut the fuck up LaMaya before I give yo ass something to cry about!” Dre shouted at me.
My point right there. He didn’t act this way around nobody else and you wouldn’t even think we would like this. He hits very often and I just cover it up. I know what people will think if I just open up but I can’t do it.
He tells me he love me when we are having unprotected sex! After that it’s just hoe this hoe that.
I don’t know how to leave him because he told me I wouldn’t leave him alive. What can a person do when their life is threatened?
You wouldn’t believe the things he put me through at all. He made me watch him and Emma, yes his “girlfriend”, have sex.
“I hate you…” I mumbled.
“What the fuck you say?!” he yelled.
I probably shouldn’t have said that.
“Bitch I know you fucking hear me!” he said pushing me off the bed.
I tried to catch myself but it was no use. I don’t know why he did this to me. He basically ran this house because it was just him and his grandmother. She was so nice to me but she wasn’t here to save me now.
I tried to hurry and get up before he came over but it was too late, he came over and pushed me back down and started to hit me like I was a guy! He was fighting me like a man.
All I could do was sit there and let him because even if I attempted to fight him back it would only make him more angry.
I just cried.
“You shut the fuck up next time with your smart remarks stupid bitch.” He said stopping when he heard his front door closed.
“Ayye!”
It was his friends.
“Get the fuck up and don’t say shit else. Go in the bathroom and fix yourself.” He told me.
They busted in the room and he was a completely different person now.
“Damn, what’s wrong with her?” King said.
“She fell off the bed.” He said helping me up from the floor.
“You straight?” Ezra looking from me to Dre.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I said looking away from Ezra’s gaze.
He was staring like he knew I didn’t fall off the bed and I didn’t need that. He should be with Zoey right now anyways.
Good thing I had on a little bit of clothes so they didn’t see me completely naked.
“How the fuck you fall off the damn bed and look like that?” Quez said.
“Mane ya’ll niggas she straight. Come on.” D’Andre said grabbing my hand and we walked out his room to the bathroom and he closed the door behind us.
I looked down away from him.
“Look at me.” He said.
I didn’t.
“Do I need to slap some sense into you?” he said.
I looked up at him and he just stared at me.
“You bet not say shit to nobody LaMaya or I’ll kill yo muthafuckin’ ass. Shut the fuck up with all this damn crying cause the shit gets on my fucking nerves.”
“Why do you do this to me?” I asked staring at the floor.
“It’s out of love babe, I don’t mean to hurt you like that but sometimes I’m just not in my right mind. I love you to death and I don’t want to see you with nobody else…and I do mean that shit.” He said kissing me.
I didn’t say anything.
“You don’t love me now?” he asked getting mad.
“I love you more than I love myself.” I said as tears just fell.
“Good, I love you too baby but listen go back in my room get your shit and go.”
“Okay.” I said wiping my eyes and we went back into his room.
“You okay?” Ezra asked.
I smiled a very fake smile but I made it seem real. “I’m fine E.”
“Aw okay.” He said.
“I’m about to go so I’ll talk to you guys later.” I said smiling and walking towards the door.
“Lala come here.” D’Andre said.
I rolled my eyes and turned and walked back over to him and he just kissed me and I walked home. Yes he makes me walk home while Emma gets a ride and then some. I just walked to Bella’s house because I knew that’s where the girls were and I needed a laugh.
*
“I missed ya girl, you don’t return my calls.” Bella said smiling as we sat on her bed.
“Oh whatever, my phone is so stupid you know that.” I said smiling.
“Yeah yeah whatever Lala.” She said.
“Why are you so happy?” Sky said looking at Bella.
I smiled. “Ezra’s taking care of you.”
She started blushing. It’s so adorable. I have never seen a couple before that’s more in love than E and Bella are with each other. They have tried to hide it so long but I’m happy for her. I wish I had a love like that.
“That’s my babe you guys and I love him sooooooo freaking much and every time we kiss it almost leads to sex.” She said laughing.
“Just make sure you and him use a condom Bella.” I told her.
“Yeah we don’t need any unexpected babies.” Sasha said.
“Um, we will cause I’m not a hoe and he is retiring from being one.” She said smiling.
“Well that was the old E, he changed for you and that’s all that matters.” I told her.
“Awww.” Imani said.
“Anyways what about you and Dre? How are ya’ll doing?” Bella asked.
I sighed. “It’s going fine, just problems like any other couple have…but I love him?”
I didn’t know if I was so sure of that anymore.
“Why you question that?” Sky asked.
“I was just in my own zone for a minute.” I said laughing to make it seem like nothing was wrong.
“Girl things will get better, I promise.” Bella said hitting my arm playfully but that shit hurt like hell because it was bruise right there.
She didn’t notice until I jumped and she looked at my arm and I pulled it out of her sight. She had a look on her face that I couldn’t quite read but I was looking at her with pleading eyes that she didn’t say anything because it was nothing.
She looked down at my arm then back at me and looked away.
“…so what are we going to be getting into this summer?” Bella said.
“I have to go.” I said just walking out room. I was walking as fast I could because I knew they were right behind me and I didn’t need that so I started to run.
It started to rain and I just went and sat in an alley and cried my eyes out.
I can’t keep living like this.
He was blowing my phone up and I texted him and told him where I was but I didn’t answer his calls because I couldn’t do it.
I just let my tears mix in with the rain.
Nobody in this world hated life more than I did and that was a known fact.
Not even ten minutes later I was being jerked and threw against the wall. I didn’t need to guess who it was because I already knew.
“Why the fuck didn’t you answer my damn calls?! You fucking another nigga?!” he yelled and threw me on the ground.
Here comes my next beating.
“I’m so sorry Dre, I won’t do it again.” I said holding my hands to stop him before he hit me again.
“No fuck that when I call you answer the fucking phone you stupid hoe.” He said slapping me hard across the face.
The rain wasn’t making the situation any better.
“I’m sorry.” I cried.
He got on top of me and just pounded his fist into my body. The thing about him is that when he hit me, he makes sure it’s somewhere that can be covered. I just hate that this is my life.
“Shut up!” he yelled continuing to hit me.
God will not put more on you than you can handle right? So why was my daily life routine getting beat multiple times a day by my boyfriend?
Life sucks!
I just hate to tell him that I might be pregnant because he will beat me until he kill the baby but he’s the one who fucked me bare when I told him to use a condom but his “charm” always worked.
I was in this situation because of myself, I couldn’t blame anyone else.
Fuck my life!